Therapists in the Wild (2024)

01/04/2022

In our last episode of the TITW podcast, we're coming full circle: dialectics was the topic of our first ever episode, and now we're wrapping it up two years later by letting our listeners in on how we have used a dialectical frame to face this ending head on.

We review the DBT skills we used to lean into our discomfort, to have difficult conversations that have deepened our relationship, and ultimately, to radically accept this change in a way that felt true to ourselves, our friendship, and, we hope, to our listeners.

We are more grateful to you, our listeners, than we can possibly express. We hope that you will continue to share the podcast, stay subscribed, and follow us on social media to stay involved in our future projects.

Until we meet again: stay skillful, everyone ✨

01/02/2022

"Burnout" has become a buzzword since the start of the pandemic, for good reason. Many of us are feeling burnt out, in many areas of life, and could benefit from using DBT skills to cope.

Burnout is a feeling of chronic mental and physical depletion mixed with a frustrating sense of ineffectiveness no matter how hard you work. It is common to feel burnt out when your day-to-day responsibilities lack meaning or you have little control over your daily decisions.

Pulling from Emily and Amelia Nagoski's work, we describe the science behind what burnout does to our bodies and how we can effectively complete the body's stress response cycle. In responding to a listener email about burnout, we outline various DBT skills to apply both during extreme moments of burnout and when making larger decisions as a response to burnout.

We hope you enjoy! 💙

01/01/2022

As we head into the New Year, we're reflecting on the values we want to prioritize, and deepening our connections with others has been on our mind.

In this episode, we explore vulnerability, or "the practice of taking emotional risks even when the outcome is uncertain."

We discuss why vulnerability is important for building and maintaining relationships and why some people have more difficulty than others being vulnerable.

When we avoid vulnerability due to anxiety, we miss out on opportunities for closer relationships, as well as feedback, support, and validation from others.

At the end of the episode, we provide suggestions for skills to use in the moment when anxiety is holding you back from being vulnerable with someone you trust.

Happy New Year 💫 we hope you enjoy!

01/12/2021

We have found that self-compassion helps immensely with emotion regulation and overlaps with several other DBT skills.

Being kind to ourselves when we mess up or fail is key to helping us return to wise mind. Self-compassion allows us to reflect and learn from past experiences and move forward effectively ✨

Below is an example of what Dr. Kristen Neff, a pioneer in the field of self-compassion, refers to as taking a "self-compassion break." You can practice this when you notice something you don't like about yourself or feel like you've failed.

1️⃣ Acknowledge that this is a moment of suffering. Just the act of recognizing that you are having a hard time involves mindfulness and acceptance.

2️⃣ Remind yourself that suffering is a part of life. Everybody suffers, no one is perfect, and you are not alone.

3️⃣ *Give yourself kindness and compassion by repeating something like “may I be kind to myself" or "may I give myself the compassion that I need."
*Some people find it soothing to use compassionate touch to facilitate this process. You can practice this by putting one hand on the heart and one hand on the belly if that feels comfortable.

In this episode, we discuss the barriers and benefits to practicing self-compassion and explore how to integrate DBT skills to help you respond effectively to difficult feelings and situations.

We hope you enjoy! 💛

01/11/2021

This month on TITW we are exploring concepts from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), another mindfulness-based, cognitive behavioral treatment.

We discuss "Cognitive Defusion," or the process of watching thoughts come and go rather than buying into or getting caught in them. This is very similar to the DBT Distress Tolerance skill of Mindfulness of Current Thoughts.

You know when you're so absorbed in analyzing a situation that you're unable to move on? Or if you've ever attended an "enjoyable" event but struggled to have fun because you were so distracted by worries? These are all examples of being "fused" with, or stuck to, your thoughts.

When we are "defused" from a thought, we are able to get un-stuck from and simply observe the thought. In other words, there is more space between you and your thoughts. From this perspective, we can see thoughts for what they are: words, stories, or images in our mind --
not reality that requires our immediate attention.

In Episode 31, we teach several of our favorite defusion skills, and also discuss how to use the DBT skill of "Check the Facts" to increase willingness to use these techniques. We end the episode with a coaching session.

Enjoy! 🧡

01/10/2021

In Episode 30, Liza and Molly share their personal experiences with procrastination and, on the other side of the dialectic, hyper-productivity (feeling the need to constantly be productive).

We believe that these behaviors are opposite responses that function to avoid similar feelings of anxiety. 😵‍💫

There are many reasons why we put things off or feel the need to complete tasks immediately. In this episode, we explore what drives this behavior — and how to change it.

Tune in to hear about our personal experiences with procrastination (Molly) and hyper-productivity (Liza), and to hear Liza conduct an impromptu behavior chain analysis on Molly's recent procrastination behavior.

We give each other skills coaching and offer concrete suggestions for how to overcome urges to engage in these behaviors.

This was a fun one to record - we hope you enjoy! 🎤

01/09/2021

This month, we are taking a break from discussions about skills to have a conversation about Buddhist philosophy, which inspired the practice of DBT.

We speak with a special guest, Keerthi Reddy, a masters student at the Harvard Divinity School (and Liza's old friend from college!), who is focusing her studies on Zen Buddhism.

Liza hosts the first portion of the episode, talking with Keerthi about Zen Buddhism, suffering, and critiques of mental health treatments such as DBT "packaging" Buddhist principles.

Molly joins toward the end of the episode (starting at 41:00) to talk with Keerthi about trauma and spirituality. We discuss meaning-making after trauma, and explore specific Buddhist principles and meditation tips that may help with healing from trauma and suffering.

We hope you enjoy! 💫

01/08/2021

In Episode 28, we share a conversation about a topic we regularly discuss with each other off-air: how to accept feedback in both personal and professional settings, especially when (you perceive) it is negative. 🤨

The reason this matters is that feedback can be difficult to hear and, on the other side of the dialectic, it is necessary for growth! 🌱

We explore this dialectic throughout the episode, sharing personal examples of when even the most upsetting comments have helped us evolve and move toward our values. ➡️

In our experience, there is often value in identifying the "kernel of truth" in what was said, even if doing so requires tolerating uncomfortable emotions. We discuss how to use DBT skills from all four modules in the moment to grow from feedback and respond effectively rather than impulsively to others' input on your behavior. 🙆‍♀️

Finally, we address how to incorporate Self-Respect ("FAST") skills when responding to feedback, particularly if you disagree with the content or how it was delivered.

We hope you enjoy and find this episode helpful! ✨

👉 If you'd like to support TITW, we would be very grateful for donations of any amount you feel comfortable via Venmo @ MollyStDenis. If a donation is not possible at this time, you can still support our work by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. Thank you! 💕

14/06/2021

Our conversation with Mental Health Advocate, Chris Jones, was truly one of our favorite episodes yet 🔥

We talk to Chris about what it's like for him to live with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), and how getting an accurate diagnosis and participating in DBT has changed his life.

Impressively, Chris has incorporated the key principles of DBT into his day-to-day life. He shares how it has been possible with commitment and continued practice - much like learning a new language.

We also speak with Chris about the world of social media advocacy and how he has leveraged social media to reduce stigma and support others experiencing mental illness.

Finally, we play a game sharing our go-to DBT skills for various situations.

We are very excited to release this one — hope you all check it out! 💫

20/05/2021

Therapists in the Wild is growing! 🌱

We have been working hard during the season break to stay responsive to the needs of our TITW community.

We are so excited to announce that we are now offering coaching and consulting services to other professionals!

Please check out our new website for more details (link in bio). You will also find additional DBT resources for our whole community.

💻👀✍️ therapistsinthewild.com

17/05/2021

We are thrilled to be back for Season 2 and can't wait to share what we've been working on during the season break, including the launch of our new website (!): therapistsinthewild.com 🎊

In this episode, we provide answers to the difficult question of when unwanted emotions - like anger and hurt - are actually effective to act on, rather than act opposite to.

Have you ever noticed how dogs and babies seem to have no trouble expressing unwanted emotions? This may indicate that there is an evolutionary function of expressing the emotions we feel...

Tune in to Episode 26 to learn more about the benefits of expressing unwanted emotions in the moment and how to do this effectively.

We hope you enjoy and check out therapistsinthewild.com to learn more about the consulting/coaching services we are now offering for therapists and professionals in related fields, or to learn more about us and browse additional DBT resources.

12/05/2021

✨New Season Alert✨

We can't wait to be back on Monday with the first episode of Season 2!

During the break, we used your feedback and questions to plan an exciting new season.

We will also be launching something brand new we’ve been working on — to be announced in Monday's episode 😉

Make sure you are subscribed to Therapists in the Wild, wherever you get your podcasts, so you don't miss our new episodes.

See you soon! 💛

10/02/2021

We are back this week with our first ever bonus episode, and our teaser for Season 2! Now that we have gone through all the basic DBT skills in Season 1, we are turning our focus to how to apply them in various situations.

Valentine's Day, whether we want it to or not, can bring high expectations, feelings of loneliness, and urges to reach out to relationships that don't serve us anymore. For these reasons, we are popping back in to help you stay skillful on Valentine's Day (or any holiday/event that brings up these emotions and expectations).

Tune into the episode to hear anecdotes from our past Valentine's Days, and what we would have done differently had we known these skills at the time.

We also provide answers to questions from our wonderful listeners! We encourage you to make Cope Ahead plans in advance of Valentine's Day, with a mix of acceptance skills (mindfulness, self-validation, urge surfing) and change skills (opposite action, problem-solving, and asking for what you need).

We hope you enjoy, stay skillful on Valentine's Day, and continue to stay tuned and send us questions for Season 2! ❤️

24/01/2021

Mindfulness involves simply observing what is happening in the present moment.

For some people, it can be challenging to access the "observing self," or the part of ourselves that has the capacity to watch thoughts and feelings come and go without getting caught up in them.

One way to get in touch with the “observing self” is to imagine pulling up a chair to watch your mind like a movie. You aren't trying to change or control the plot in any way. Instead, you are simply settling your awareness behind thinking to watch what unfolds with curiosity.

Observing internal experiences gives us the space to consult Wise Mind before responding. Watching the mind in this way increases a sense of distance between you and distressing thoughts or emotional experiences 💭

28/12/2020

Wise words from a fortune cookie 🥠

There is a dialectical strategy used in DBT called "making lemonade out of lemons." It requires the client or therapist to take something problematic and turn it into an asset -- an opportunity to practice skills.

If the sea was always calm, we would lack opportunities to become skilled sailors.

The more practice we have applying skills in challenging situations, the better equipped we will be when the next storm inevitably hits.

Seeing challenges as opportunities allows us to practice using skills when we need them most.

In the spirit of dialectics, we can acknowledge that we would have preferred a calmer sea *and* that this storm is also an opportunity to become a more skilled sailor ⛵️

14/12/2020

In the final episode of Season 1, we wrap it all up — teaching you how to apply skills from all four modules to real-life scenarios. We think of learning DBT like a new language - it requires practice, consistency, and (most importantly) a lot of self-compassion.

It's hard enough to learn all the skills in DBT, let alone figure out how to integrate them into your day-to-day life...

That's why we spent this episode providing examples of common scenarios for which skills could be useful, and talking through how to weave together skills from the Mindfulness, Emotion Regulation, Interpersonal Effectiveness, and Distress Tolerance modules for each.

Another common question we get is how can I ever remember all these acronyms?! We end by listing a few concrete ways to remember all the skills we've gone over so far and share some of our favorite memory aids.

We want to thank you for your support and engagement this season, and for bringing this podcast to life for us ✨💕

08/12/2020

It is our last week of teaching new skills (!), and our second to last episode of Season 1 🙈

We wrap up the Distress Tolerance module by walking you through how to practice Radical Acceptance step-by-step, while discussing related “Reality Acceptance” skills including Willingness, Turning the Mind, Willing Hands, and Half Smile.

Throughout the practice of Radical Acceptance, it is crucial to be open (or willing to experience) the uncomfortable emotions/thoughts that may arise (the DBT skill of "Willingness"). It is equally important to notice and “Turn the Mind" back to Willingness when "willfulness" shows up.

We provide concrete ways to practice Willingness, particularly if you are feeling willful: "Half-Smile" and "Willing Hands." In addition to explaining why each of these contributes to a willingness to accept reality, Molly walks you through a mindfulness practice in order to learn and apply the skill in real time! 🧘‍♀️

30/11/2020

In Episode 23, we take on the challenge of introducing the skill of Radical Acceptance, or, as we prefer to call it, "Radical Acknowledgement [of Reality]." This is some of the "deeper work" in DBT, as it has the capacity to both reduce suffering and create meaningful change in your life. 💫

Radical Acceptance is when you stop fighting, ignoring, or rejecting reality and let go of the struggle that may be keeping you trapped in a cycle of unnecessary suffering. When defining this skill, it's important to make clear that Radical Acceptance is NOT approving of or liking reality, being passive, or against change. In fact, acceptance is often the first step toward creating change.

We have found that radically accepting past regrets often reduces feelings of guilt and shame, and radically accepting (or radically acknowledging) behavior that you disapprove of can decrease anger
toward others.

When you stop fighting or ignoring reality and truly acknowledge that everything is caused, the result is often grief followed by a deeper sense of peace, meaning, and the capacity to get on with building a
Life Worth Living.

This episode is all about what radical acceptance is, and next week we will be talking more specifically about how to practice it. ✨

23/11/2020

In Episode 22, we review the final set of Crisis Survival Distress Tolerance skills covered in Season 1 of the podcast: Distract using "ACCEPTS" and Self-Soothe 💆‍♀️

"ACCEPTS" is an acronym of different ways to distract from life’s current stressors when addressing them head-on either isn't possible or wouldn't be effective in the moment.

You can distract from intense pain in the short-term with:

▶️Activities
▶️Contributing
▶️Comparisons
▶️Emotions
▶️Pushing away
▶️Thoughts
▶️Sensations

During painful moments, you can also use the Self-Soothe skill, which is about extending comfort to yourself by soothing your five senses. Here are a few of our favorite ways to practice the skill:

VISION 🧐
-Go outside to look at nature
-Pictures of loved ones or cute animals

HEARING 👂
-Calming music
-Audio guided meditation
-Sound of pets sleeping

SMELL 👃
-Essential oils
-Candles
-Good-smelling hand lotion

TASTE 🍫
-Cough drop
-Herbal tea or lemon water
-Chocolate

TOUCH 🖐
-Stress ball or fidget toy
-Scented facial spray

In the episode, you will hear Liza coach Molly to use this skill in real time, and we share some tricks of the trade, including how to make and keep a "self-soothe kit" on hand at all times - in case of emergency 🚨

09/11/2020

Tune in to Episode 21 to learn how to surf urges and tolerate distress using the "TIP" skills! We had so much fun recording this episode on election night, when we needed *all* the Crisis Survival skills 😳

As Liza says, all of the skills taught in this episode can be taken "on the road,” meaning that you can use them anywhere, anytime you need.

Urge Surfing is a mindfulness technique that helps you surf urges to engage in ineffective behaviors instead of acting on them, using your breath as your surfboard. As Jon Kabat-Zinn says, "you can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." We guide you through how to change your relationship with unwanted urges so that you can ride them out until they subside, as all waves inevitably do 🌊

The "TIP" skills are a TITW and DBT-fan favorite because they are so effective at reducing physiological and, consequently, emotional
arousal.

TIP stands for:

💦 Tip the Temperature
Holding your breath, submerge your face in a bowl of ice cold water. Alternatively, hold a cold ice pack over your eyes and temples for 30 seconds as you bend over, with your face between your legs (if you are seated).

🏃‍♂️Intense Exercise
Engage in a short burst (even a minute works!) of intense exercise, such as sprinting, pushups, burpees, or jumping jacks. Emotions prepare your body for action, so intense exercise expends your body's stored physical energy while also producing endorphins.

💨 Paced Breathing
Breathe deeply into your belly. Slow your pace of inhaling and exhaling way down, and make sure to exhale for longer than you inhale. For example, inhale for a count of 5 and exhale for a count of 7.

💆‍♂️ Paired Muscle Relaxation
While breathing deeply into your belly, tense your muscles. Notice the tension in your body. While breathing out, say the word "Relax" in your mind. Let go of the tension. Notice the difference in your body.

03/11/2020

In the spirit of Halloween, we are tackling the issue of how to tolerate scary, uncomfortable, distressing situations in the final module of Season 1: Distress Tolerance! 👻

With the US presidential election coming up this week, there is a lot of uncertainty about the future and many people are experiencing particularly high levels of distress. In Episode 20, we explain how Distress Tolerance skills can help you endure high levels of discomfort without impulsively acting on emotion urges that could make the situation worse.

Have you ever been so distressed that you can barely stop yourself from repeatedly asking others for reassurance, ruminating uncontrollably, engaging in risky behavior, or even using substances or food to avoid uncomfortable feelings? While these behaviors might relieve some distress in the short term, they often make a situation that is already hard even worse for you in the long run, because now you have to deal with the consequences of those behaviors on top of the initial crisis 😳

In this episode, you will learn the "STOP" skill, which will help you pause before reacting impulsively, giving you the time you need to respond effectively.

Stop
🛑Think of this like a visual stop sign; stop/freeze, literally. Don't move a muscle.

Take a Step Back
🚶‍♀️Physically walk away from the computer, phone, person, etc. that your urges are pulling you toward.

Observe
👀 Most importantly, observe your urges in this painful moment. You can also notice thoughts and feelings. If that feels too hard, try observing your surroundings to increase a sense of being grounded, even in the midst of an emotional storm.

Proceed Mindfully
👣 Once you've cooled down, Wise Mind can help you decide how YOU (not your emotions) want to proceed in a way that is in line with your values. If Wise Mind isn't available because distress is still too high, proceeding mindfully might mean recognizing that you are still in crisis and you need additional Distress Tolerance skills before deciding how to respond.

26/10/2020

In this episode, Molly leads you through a brief, guided mindfulness practice: the Mountain Meditation by Jon Kabat-Zinn (2002).

This meditation will help you experience a sense of being grounded, enabling you to access your inner strength and stability when faced with challenging circumstances, as many of us are right now.

Stress and anxiety make it more difficult to connect to the present moment and access Wise Mind, both of which are critical to acting effectively in all interpersonal interactions.

As we discussed in Episode 18, cultivating a sense of inner strength by connecting with your values and being fair to yourself is key to self-respect effectiveness.

We hope this practice will help you feel more like a mountain, unwavering in your values and rooted in a stable sense of self, even in the face of anxiety-provoking conversations, painful relationship dynamics, and constant internal and external change 🏔

19/10/2020

The "FAST" skill involves communicating in a way that honors your personal values, which makes you feel proud of yourself after an interaction 😏

Setting limits and saying no establishes how others can behave around you and shows them what you are and what you are not comfortable with.

There are often worries that setting boundaries will damage relationships. However, we have found the opposite to be true: by honoring your personal limits and taking the space you need, you are better able to show up for others in your life 🧚‍♀️

Using the FAST skills communicates love and respect toward yourself 👑

What does FAST stand for?

🧡(Be) Fair

🧡 (No) Apologies

🧡 Stick to (Values)

🧡 (Be) Truthful

We hope you'll find, as we have, that honoring your self-respect will improve your relationship with yourself AND with others ✨

12/10/2020

Whether you find it difficult to say no to unwanted requests, communicate your feelings before resentment builds, or deliver difficult news, relationships can present a challenge to all of us at times!

In Episode 17, you will learn guidelines for relationship effectiveness using yet another questionable acronym, "GIVE." We hope you'll find, as we have, that these skills improve your ability to communicate in a way that improves the quality of your relationships.

What does GIVE stand for?

(Be) Gentle:
⚡️Be kind. No attacks, threats, or judgments. Be mindful of what your body is conveying (no eye rolling, smirking, etc.).

(Act) Interested:
⚡️Focus your attention on listening to the other person, staying present, and waiting until they are done to start speaking.

Validate:
⚡️Find the kernel of truth in the other person's perspective and acknowledge it out loud.

(Use an) Easy Manner:
⚡️Be charming, use humor, and smile!

05/10/2020

We are excited to release this week's episode as DEAR MAN is truly one of our favorite DBT skills!

This simple acronym has helped us both tremendously in our personal and professional lives. It can be applied to any situation when you'd like to ask for something you want, communicate a personal limit, or even say no to another's request.

In this week's episode, we focus specifically on how to apply DEAR MAN when achieving your objective is your main goal. We will continue building on the foundational material from this episode as we teach how to prioritize the relationship and self-respect in the coming weeks.

What does DEAR MAN stand for?

D: Describe
✔️Stick to the facts - no judgmental statements!
👉"I noticed you're not wearing your mask and face coverings are required in this building."

E: Express
✔️Express feelings/opinions about the situation clearly. Use "I" statements.
👉"I feel uncomfortable asking, and I'm a bit nervous being in such an enclosed space together."

A: Assert
✔️Ask for what you want or say no clearly - be direct. Remember that others can't read your mind.
👉"Can you please put your mask on?"

R: Reinforce
✔️Reward others for responding positively to your request by sharing what's in it for them.
👉"I would feel much safer and would really appreciate it if you did!"

M: (Stay) Mindful
✔️Stay focused and don't get distracted. Ignore attacks or efforts to divert your attention. This may entail being a "broken record" by repeating your "Assert" over and over again.

A: Appear Confident
✔️Use a confident tone of voice, physical manner, and make appropriate eye contact. If you don't feel confident, use Opposite Action - fake it till you make it!

N: Negotiate
✔️Check in with yourself to determine whether you are willing to give to get. If so, offer and ask for alternate solutions.

28/09/2020

Check out Episode 15 to learn more about how to prioritize goals in interpersonal interactions!

By ranking the relative importance of 1️⃣ your objective, 2️⃣ the relationship, or 3️⃣ your self-respect, you will be able to determine which interpersonal effectiveness skills to use when asserting yourself, communicating your personal limits, or navigating challenging conversations.

Let's say you've been wanting a raise, and your boss yells at you for making a small mistake. If you are prioritizing your objective of getting a raise, you might apologize for the mistake, keep working hard, and then later ask for a raise; prioritizing the relationship might look like validating your boss' experience and apologizing for your mistake (e.g., "I'm sorry for my mistake - I'm sure it was frustrating for you to fix!"); finally, prioritizing your self-respect might entail sharing that you've been working hard and would like that to be acknowledged in addition to receiving constructive feedback.

What you say and how you say it will differ significantly depending on the relative importance of each goal.

Before having the conversation, consult with Wise Mind to prioritize your goals and clarify your intentions. 💭

Stay tuned for the coming weeks, in which we will cover how to apply skills to improve and deepen your relationships with others and with yourself. 👫🙇‍♀️

Therapists in the Wild