28/03/2022
"Maybe This Time"
Hi USC Confessions! I am a Carolinian Alumna. Gusto nako e share ako story hoping na maka impart ug lesson sa mga batan.on karon.
Dli ko taga Cebu. I came to Cebu for my college studies. Taga Mindanao ko. Nagdako ko na balay-skuylahan-balay an routa. Both parents nako CPAs and strikto pa sa tanan strikto. May timetable tanan lihok haha! If out sa klase kay 4pm, I should be home by 5pm the least. High school life nako wala ko kasuway makauyab. Haha walay nakalusot! But naa sad mga daring na suitors, mamisita gyud maski murag martial law an tinagdan sa ilaha if moadto sa balay. One of them is Captain. Rich kid na feeling entitled sa tanan haha! Ahead ko ug 1 year sa iyaha but that didn't stop him from pursuing me. Pero lagi, kay hadlok sa parents, waley basted ra ghapon.
College nako siya 4th year high school pa. Pag college niya imbes mag Manila siya namugos na mag Cebu Doctors. So yes, dinhi na siya sa Cebu ga college. In fairness kugihan gihapon manguyab until pag 3rd year nako gisugot na nako. An parents niya dili ganahan sa akoa esp gyud an mum. Dato man gud cla and influential na family sa amoa lugar. Kami kay middle class na family. Para sa mum dili ako worth it na mauyab sa iyaha anak. She even confronted my mama about it. Mao pod to na samot akong parents dli ganahan ni Captain. Although nakita nila na todo effort siya sa amoa relationship. Amoa relationship kay murag me and you against the world. But we fought for it. Kani lagi teenagers and first time ma inlove na feeling ikamatay if magkabulag.
I graduated as cumlaude sa batch namo. I was happy and my parents were so proud of me. But there was a catch, I was 5 months pregnant na nipaso sa graduation. So during the graduation diner, dnha mi sa Laguna Gardens gapa reserve ni Captain ug 2 tables, we shared the news sa parents nako. An panandaliang kalipay nila nahugno. Since devout Catholic mi, never na option an abortion. We even shared na gapa secret civil wedding na kami (kato na time uso pa ni secret wedding as long as you have the connection). Sobra kahugno an world sa akong parents but wala na gyud sila mahimo but to accept us. The next day niuli mi sa amoa lugar and it was time to face his parents. As expected, ga eskandalo an inahan but wala sila mahimo kay dakong eskandalo sa lugar namo if mogawas an nakabuntis anak niya and wala gpanagutan (kato na panahon sa amoa lugar if makabuntis, panagota gyud nimo). And yes, gidawat mi sa family ni Captain. Plastikay sa gawas but if kami ra as if wala ko ni exist.
After all the drama, nibalik mi dinhi sa Cebu kay gusto ko mo take ug board pagka May. Parents niya gipalitan mi ug unit and g providan ug helper. I passed the board exam. After a few months, nanganak ko with a healthy baby boy. Happy kaayo mi ni Captain and he was a very hands on father. So plan namo after kay mo proceed ko law kay mao man gyud gusto nako mag lawyer. Sos ambot lang, nasundan man hanoon ug buntis after 4 months hahahaha! Kung sa mga katigulangan pa, sundanon daw ko.
Wa ra mi kabalo, iyaha mum ok ra sa atubangan but she was scheming na magkabulag mi ni Captain. Pag Novemeber that year, nagbakasyon sila sa US. And yes, dual citizenship na c Captain and siblings nya. Maski naa pa baby and buntis ko that time, namugos gyud mum niya na magbakasyon sila. 2 weeks ra daw. Grabeh nako hilak. I have that gut feeling na it will be the last time I will see him and yes I was right. For after 2 months, nibisita balik iyaha mum sa amoa, with all the wedding pictures ni Captain sa US. That very said day even more than a decade na an milabay, maka remeber pa gyud ko every detail sa conversation nako sa iyaha mum. Yes married na daw c Captain sa childhood friend niya and he is leaving us and will stay in the US. Ako d ko motou but that time I was so down and gullible, nitou ko. Her mum asked me to leave the house she bought for us. And said to sign the papers. Perma ra sad ko maski wala ko kabalo sa akong gpang permahan kah gatulo luha nako. She gave me 200T na worth na check. Pang start daw with the kids and didn't even think twice na iyaha na mga apo. I accepted the check and left the house with nothing but a few clothes for myself and for my baby boy.
I didn't know what and where to go but I have to be strong for the sake sa akong baby. I rented an affordable room. I did not encashed the check. I kept it until na stale check ra siya. I pawned all the jewelleries except the engagement and wedding ring. Si Captain an type na hilig manhatag ug jewellery and it helped so much at that time. Wala ko ni contact sa akong parents fearing sa very famous word na I TOLD YOU SO! I changed number and it was not an issue hiding ato na time kay friendster or msypace did not exist pa. So dali ra jd magtago.
Kato almost na ko manganak, I decided to face my parents. Didto nako nahibal.an na nag worry na kaayo cla kay niabot sa ilaha an chismis na buwag na mi ni Captain and it was all my fault. His mum even went to visit my father's firm and delivered the news. Captain left me because he found out that the baby I was carrying kay dli daw iyaha. And she even bragged na I accepted the 200T check. Ako parents gapahilom hilom ra and endured all the ridicule. But they did not lost hope, they know how strong I am. So nagkita mi and they bought us to Manila para magpalayo. Mum has to temporarily leave her work for at least 4 months to help me get back to my feet.
After that, I diverted all the pain and heartache sa ako studies and sa akong kids. With the help of prayers and unconditional love from my family and from my baby boy and girl, I survived! Looking back, d ko ka imagine giunsa to nako at such a young age. While ang uban ga maoy pa sa ka MU nla, ako ga kodkod na for the future sa akong kids. I passed the bar and decided to migrate sa Australia.
Cguro tungod sa ako naagihan, na bless kaayo ko. Bless ko sa akong kids na grabeh ka obedient and boutan. Growing up, wala gyud ko nag prob nila. Na bless ko ug maayo sa work. Comfortable na kaayo life namo sa Australia. Dako gyud na save sad namo and with the grace of God, na Australian citizen mi.
Pero no matter how successful nako sa work and sa akong family, zero man ghapon ko sa love life hahaha! Yes, wala gyud ko nakauyab ug lain after ni Captain. Even a date, wala gyud gihapon. Para nako, dli priority ang love life char! But the truth is, wala ko mo entertain ana na thought kay lagi married pa ko technically. and deep inside, i still have feelings for Captain maski 14 years ago na an nilabay haha!
Year 2015, while gikan ko ug meeting, pad**g ko uli hotel (kay different state man), nihapit ko ug cafe to buy some frap. Nagsunod ko ug 4 ka guys and wala ra nako cla gina mind. Busy ko ug check sa emails sa phone. I was able to catch with their converstion, and mura ko naigting. They were talking using our dialect. Pagbayad nako, pad**g ta ko kuha sa akong order, an usa ka guy nibalik kay naa tana e ask. And it was Captain. Yes naa cla sa Australia kay ga laag with his bestfrieds and ga diving pod sila. Ni smile sya ako ni duko ra. Ni excuse ko kay lagi nakalitan ko but iyaha ko gkuptan an ni ask mag storya mi. D ta ko but he insisted. After all, we deserve some closure.
While ga talk mi, na notice nya I am still wearing the engagement and wedding ring and didto na sya nihilak ug nilohod nangayo ug pasaylo. Turned out, paglarga nla diay sa US, ready na an kasal. Nakig kunsabo an mum niya sa family friend and gikasal gyud cla. Giingan siya sa iyaha mum na if dli siya pakasal, d na siya kauli sa Pinas. Wala siya choice at that time, wala pa siya own money and passport nya na sa iyaha mum. But after a year, gabuwag ra sila and he went home. Gipangita ko niya but na brainwash siya sa iyaha parents na nawong ug kwarta daw ko blah blah blah. And afrer that, gihatagan siya ug puhonan sa iyaha parents. Karon naa siya franchise sa usa ka fast food chain and a couple of gas stations. Successful sad sya sa mga business nya and he remained a bachelor. Uyab dnhi, uyab didto.
After sa amoa storya, nag request siya makigkita sa kids. The nxt day niuli ko and I introduced the kids to him. It was an emotional reunion, very emotional. All the unanswered questions were answered with honesty and such. Super happy siya with our princess, esp sa family nila puros boy ang apo wala pa gyud girl. He extended for a month sa Australia, to spend more time sa kids. We set aside sa ang amoa basta priority an kids. Christmas 2015, nibisita an family nya sa amoa. I had a heart to heart talk with her mum. I forgave her long time ago na. kay if d tungod sa iyaha nabuhat, wala ko karon sa akoang position. She made me strong and independent. Cguro if wala to nahitabo, I will be a spoiled wife.
Just last August 2016, on our supposed to be 17th wedding anniversary, I said yes to him when he proposed. We will have our church wedding this summer. And yes, we are staying here in the Philippines for good.
So guys, if ever naa mo sa usa ka lisod na sitwasyon, always remember to trust God and to find the good in every bad situation. Lisod ko ug naagihan pero it made me who I am today. And please, always find forgiveness in your heart!
Happy 2017!
Jasmine
Alumna
USC Main 2000
CTTO USC
