Jacqueline Fell

27/02/2023

Sometime in the last three months, I started wearing a new hat. I'm a dance mom. But not one of those crazy ones that were on the show... I'm just a mama who gave in to her four-year-old begging to go to dance like her big friends Lily and Lynsea do ... and then Hope signed on too. It's cute watching them. So I guess we will see where this goes.

The first line of business -- affording this sport and all the costumes and shoes needed! If you're hungry and want to help -- this could interest you! THANK YOU!

Our group is having a fundraiser and you can help!

23/02/2023

Two Orlando journalists were shot tonight while reporting on a murder investigation. The Orange Co. Sheriff says one of the journalists died.

My heart is broken for Orlando. For my friends and colleagues grieving right now. For the journalists who are reporting on this tragic story this very minute. For the families whose lives will never be the same. For my former profession.

What a senseless tragedy. A 9-year-old girl and a young woman were also shot and killed in separate but connected incidents.

What an awful day. Be safe, friends. And to my former News 13 family - you are strong and my thoughts and prayers are with all of you.

25/12/2022

My parents told me one year they had just put out all the gifts, assembled all the toys and climbed into bed when my sister and I came running into their room screaming, “Merry Christmas. Santa was here.”

They exchanged looks and dad got up to go make coffee. I’m sure that was a two pot kinda day. Haha

Fast forward, my children tonight were running through the house with new toys, cups and outfits at 11:30p. They slept a total 20 min on the 60 min drive home. They were pumped. They drank Santa’s milk twice, ate chicken nuggets and begged for one more cookie.

Then the fun started. I don’t know who told my kids the reindeer need food but thank goodness I had carrots in the fridge. They’re finally sleeping.

I’m also thankful I don’t have any major toys to put together. Everything is wrapped. I just need to put out a few more things and then I’ll be able to head to bed.

My kids are at that incredible age where Christmas is pure magic. Their innocence and wander is pure bliss. I know I’ll be tired tomorrow but that’s okay. I know this won’t last forever. Tango on the other hand, is down for the count. 🤪

I hope you know the magic of this holiday. I hope you’re not hurting today. But if you are- you can get through this. I hope tomorrow will be better. You are loved.

Merry Christmas friends.

15/12/2022

I know people have unrealistic connections with celebrities and that icons aren’t idols, etc. and that’s not what this post is.

“tWitch,” his family and his dancing made me happy. It made me smile. It was a nice moment in time anytime I caught one of their videos.

The news of his death hits me hard. It’s just so sad. I didn’t idolize him or his family. I generally enjoyed his posts, videos and love story. My heart breaks for his wife and their children and anyone who did love him.

What a loss. And it goes to show you never know what someone is going through. And for that— if you need help- please seek it out.

988 is the su***de and crisis line. You’re worth it.

24/11/2022

If you’ve been here with me for any amount of time you probably know my thoughts on Thanksgiving: no thanks.

It was one of my mom’s favorite days. So, after we lost her it became one of my worst.

Humor crept in and we had a lot of crazy Thanksgiving’s. You may recall the first post-Mom where our catered meal wound up being an uncooked 15 lb turkey. The second brought a new boyfriend (who later became my husband and baby daddy) and an awful stomach bug.

We laugh about it now. I think we laughed about it then, but there still were tears. I always envisioned being on a beach with my kids this week where turkey was no where near the menu. I still haven’t managed that.

There’s something different this year. I’m excited for today. I’m really looking forward to seeing my family. And, my cousin and I are going to fry a turkey. Not in a bucket- explosion- burn the neighborhood down way. We have legit cooking tools, our bird is brined and we will see what happens. Pray for us though. Haha

I’ll still think about my parents today. Probably a lot. I’ll still have a beer and say a lil toast to my dad. I’ll always think of them. And a part of me will wish we had more time.

But time has helped heal my heart. There won’t be sadness today. I know there will be laughter. I’m thankful I’ve made it to today.

For anyone missing a loved one today and struggling to get through, I see you. Grief isn’t linear, but I know of the storm you’re walking through. I hope it clears soon.

Thank you for always praying for us or keeping us in your thoughts. I’m thankful to have connected with so many of you. Happy Thanksgiving.

I hope you find peace today.

10/11/2022

Hi everyone!

I hope you are taking care of yourselves.

27/07/2022

Almost exactly a year ago, I posted a picture straight out of the shower, holding Hope. She was sleeping. The post talked about how it had been a rough month for her with several colds.

It ended up being a rough year. She was sick nearly around the clock. She would throw up after eating. Her nose never stopped running. It was exhausting trying to figure out what was going on. it was also exhausting as a mother watching your little girl, knowing she doesn't feel well and not be able to help her.

When she finally turned two, the doctors agreed with me her adenoids needed to come out. The specialist explained to me that it's a surgery they prefer to do AFTER babies turn two and not before.

She had surgery the day after the Fourth. We were at the hospital at 6:30a. This incredible woman played with Hope, showed her how to put the mask on the stuffed dino and let Hope play doctor in hopes of getting her a little more comfortable for what was about to happen.

They let me go into the operating room with her. The anesthesiologist told me she would be sleeping in seconds but that I needed to hold her hands so she wouldn't pull off her mask. I was so focused on getting her to sleep that the doc kindly reminded me to talk to Hope. All I could get out was, "I love you. We will watch the Beast soon..." and she was out.

I'm so thankful for the incredible nurses who assured me they had Hope, and would take care of her and that we would be reunited in no time. It was quick too. And it turned out those dang adenoids were no good!

Her recovery was exceptional. No fevers. No complications. It was an almost overnight difference. She isn't breathing out of her mouth anymore. Her nose has stopped running. She hasn't gagged or thrown up. And my goodness is her appetite back.

It had been a hard 8 months but I am so happy she's turned this corner. I'm so thankful to the hospital, who I know are exhausted, but were nothing but professional and personable to us. And thank you to so many of you who offered prayers and thoughtful messages leading up to her surgery and in her recovery. We're forever grateful. XO

18/06/2022

I’ve been called a bad mom before and I literally laughed in the person’s face and said, “nice try.”

Society should hold men to the same standards as they have NO PROBLEM holding women.

I’ve had several conversations with friends and family who seem to think it’s a woman’s job to raise kids. To be the loving and nurturing one. Why can’t both parents be that? Why shouldn’t they both be?

My parents made an agreement that dad would work and mom would take care of the kids while he was working. My dad told me he slacked as a dad until one day my mom was so sick and he couldn’t properly care for us. There were big changes after that. But most of the child raising fell to my mother, even after she went back to work.

One random night my kids’ dad said I couldn’t leave him with both girls during gymnastics. But I had done it at least four times without him at that point. I don’t know if it was an eye opener for him but guess what? They all made it through gymnastics and I got a few minutes to myself … to go for a walk. And guess what I didn’t do after? I didn’t thank him. Not that he was looking for a thank you, but he knows they’re his kids too and that I expect him to be an active member in their lives. He expects that from me- so it works both ways right?!

Hold parents to the same standards.

Why we need to stop making excuses for men, and the woman whose husband thinks she needs to make chores fun

29/05/2022

Thank you to the brave men and women who have made the ultimate sacrifice.

They courageously gave their lives so we could be free.

Let’s use this weekend to count our blessings and stand proud.

It’s been a really hard week. In our family, we also have two birthdays this weekend which is helping out smiles on our faces and love in our hearts. I hope you’re able to feel a little breeze this weekend.

19/05/2022

If you're a parent -- you've been forced to think about this nightmare situation. This thoughtful article from Scary Mommy
is a reminder of how important it is to talk to your kids... and how to do it without letting them know just how terrified you are.

Active shooter drills are a tragic and terrifying reality that can be traumatizing for kids. Experts offer advice for preparing your child.

06/05/2022

This Getty Images Picture hit me like a mac truck this morning.

I've been taking in all the headlines, tweets and even instagram carousels about this leaked opinion this past week.

I have never had an abortion, never (thankfully) had to consider it. But having had two healthy pregnancies and births, a team of doctors listen to me and let me make decisions, and getting through times when I pushed back against my doctors and a plan that I didn't think was best for me-- I feel very strongly about ANYONE telling me what I can and can't do when it comes to my body, my children and my decision making.

I can remember hearing the term, "coat hanger abortion" growing up and not fully understanding what it meant. I grew up in a space where the Constitution protected a pregnant woman's liberty to choose to have an abortion without excessive government restriction.

A large body of evidence shows that restricting access to abortion doesn’t reduce the number of abortions -- it only increases the risk of death for those who need them.

Too many women are dying during childbirth -- that's where our focus should be. The United States has maternal mortality rates twice that of comparable nations and it's still rising!

The numbers for non-Hispanic Black women are even worse - they're STAGGERING and should SHOCK everyone.

According to the CDC, an estimated 60 percent of maternal deaths are preventable. The US can fix this -- if it was a priority.

17/04/2022

I made a joke when I took this picture, saying something like, “a glimpse into my future.”

My mother commented, like she did with most of posts back then.

I don’t know if this was a premonition or wishful thinking but I’m choosing to believe she knew I would raise her grand daughters.

Seven years ago, I lost my mother and the earth shifted axis. It’s true that they say there’s life before the death of a parent and life after.

It’s taken a long time to process and handle the grief but I think she’d vibe proud of where we all are today. I know she would love these little girls.

I’d give anything to have her here but we feel her love everyday. And for that I’m thankful.

01/04/2022

Someone asked me a few weeks ago if it ever gets easier.

If losing my mother (and then my father) gets easier. I know they were looking for a little comfort and hope that they would be able to weather their own storm of loss and grief.

I reminded them that everyone's grief is their own and that there's no playbook for it. Geez -- some people think I should be over it now that my parents have been gone for 7 and 4 years respectively. But that's because no one knows this pain until they've gone through it.

Not only did we lose my mom the way we did -- we had to endure meetings with lawyers and hospital execs as they said things like, "Oh well she was really sick. Sick people die." The truth was that even the doctor's notes said, "Full recovery expected" and "cancer-free" and "much-noted improvement." We watched them try to devalue her life because she had already retired. Nevertheless that she was the caregiver of her mother. That she retired early to watch her grandchildren. That she retired because she knew life was too short to do something you didn't love.

There are very few days that go by that I don't think about my parents. When everything is wonderful, I wish they were here to see us smiling and laughing. When times are tough, I wish my mom would come to my rescue and my dad would comfort me with conversation.

So, no how I lost them- accepting that- hasn't gotten easier. It still infuriates me.

Living without them though has gotten easier. Learning to carry the pain of not having them, the pain of having to have said goodbye becomes a burden you learn to live with and carry with you.

I know they would be enamored with Charlie and Hope. I know that my dad would think I was a good mom. I'm sure ole Charbie would think that too -- but would lovingly offer some advice-solicited or not haha

I know they would be impressed that I started a new career at this stage of my life. My mom would remind me I should have done it sooner.

So, if you are in this storm -- it'll pass. Your pain will always be with you -- but you will learn to carry it. Their love for you will help.

Even on the hard days, I know my parent's love is enough to get me through anything - even if they aren't physically here to remind me of that. And that's all I can ask for.

14/01/2022

Did you get Covid … and then passed it on to a relative? I bet that was a stressful time.

A friend is working on a story about this scenario. Please let me know if you would like to share your experience or story.

Thx

30/12/2021

Part of our end-of-the-year-wrap up was answering two questions: I would love to know your answers.

What is something you learned in 2021?
What is something you hope to learn in 2022?

For me, personally, I learned that you can be happy, hurting and healing at the same time. This year brought a lot of change, therapy, hurt and healing for me .. and some of this will carry on into 2022 but it'll be for my benefit. I aim to be the best version of me for myself and my kids.

On a sillier note, I also learned that reporting for nearly 20 years meant I wasn't learning A THING about what people are doing on computers these days. So, I've become the old lady in the office who doesn't know how to share a google doc or make edits to an excel spreadsheet or that a powerpoint presentation is now called a deck or slides... so here's to becoming more computer literate in '22!

25/12/2021

Merry Christmas. My heart is full this holiday and I hope yours is too.

If you’re struggling, my thoughts are with you!!! If you’re sad- that’s ok.

07/12/2021

Thank you for all the notes -- I miss talking with everyone every day -- but I can say I do not miss the news.

Now, I get to work alongside people who aren't just talking about making the world better, but are doing the work.

Promoting sustainable agriculture. Achieving food security. Ending hunger. As a privileged American, I can't imagine having to pick which one of my children gets fed, while the other starves. But this is a reality for mothers across the globe. Maybe even in the United States.

This is one of the projects I've been working on. I think it's a thoughtful conversation about feeding kids, the role of farmers and ranchers and even billionaires call to action.

I hope you can listen. https://bit.ly/3DsGcvS

If you prefer video: https://media.usfarmersandranchers.org/videos/fff120121-beasley

Every Farmer, Every Acre, Every Voice Matters. Over the next ten years, we have the ability to collectively shift agriculture to be net-neutral for greenhouse gas emissions and ultimately a net positive sector, effectively erasing the footprint of how our food is grown while offsetting other industr...

23/11/2021

I've said this before - but I'll say it again - I hate Thanksgiving. I've never been a big fan but once my mom died, I grew to despise it.

The first Tgiving without her was filled with a raw turkey, missing sides and a breakdown on the third trip to Whole Foods. An awful stomach bug stole the second one without her. That was really funny as it was the first holiday with the love of my life. We were certain we would never see him again. Finally, the third was spent in the hospital w/ my dad while my family moved us into our new home. Then my dad died.

I said to my husband, "I just want to go to the beach for Thanksgiving." But his love of hunting and Bud Light won out each year after.

Earlier this month, I shopped plane tickets, air bnb and vrbo rentals and was set to make MY dream come true. But then, plans change again. My kids will be with me. I'll never complain about that ...even if it means a beach trip is on hold for another year.

Truth be told, traveling with a 1 and 3 year old is likely NOT a vacation.. even if there's a beach and sunshine. So, waiting won't be the worst thing.

Instead, we are going to lay low. Eat leftovers. And put up our Christmas Tree. We will be thankful that the three of us are together. I hope this holiday is exactly what you need ... and if you're lucky - what you want too!

Happy Thanksgiving!

28/09/2021

Yes Melinda Gates… yes

“…almost everyone who works will need time away from their job to take care of themselves or someone they love. A new baby, an aging parent, a sick family member, a startling diagnosis: these are constants of life. “

"It’s time to catch up to the fact that our economy is powered by people with caregiving responsibilities"

21/09/2021

I have a picture like this of me and my dad. I used to sit with him when he napped in the hospital, staring at his wrinkled, weathered hand. He was permanently tanned after having baked in the sun for years without sunscreen. I, on the other hand, inherited the more pale, Irish traits of the family.

Still, knowing one day I wouldn't be able to hold his hand and desperately wanting to make sure I never forgot what it felt like - I snapped a picture and put my phone away before he woke up.

This story hits home, sadly. Yes, if the story goes how it's supposed to, we will all say goodbye to our parents. Maybe you're the superhero brother (I had a superhero sister) or maybe you were the one who was a tad too far to help. It all hurts the same. You struggle wanting to give them what they want (He wanted to be home) but also balance the rest of your life.

We knew my dad was dying. He had made financial decisions based on how much longer he thought he would live. It was a surreal conversation.

At times there were easy choices. Other times it was emotional and daunting. I would NOT want to do it again. Yes, I would give anything to have more time with my dad. Anything. But I wouldn't want to watch him die. Watch my sister uproot her family, work and life because I couldn't.

Logistically it was hard. Emotionally, it was harder. The steps my dad took before we were put in a bad spot were just another example of how deeply he loved us and how fortunate we were that my parents worked so hard to put us first, even in their deaths.

“Bed bugs.”

14/09/2021

“When in doubt, just stay home.” —> that’s the motto at my kids school in this day and age of Covid.

Obviously the school must think us moms never worry or aren’t hypochondriac-like because my kid falls and I’m examining for broken bones?!?

Like what does that mean?! Is a little cough enough to keep them home? If they blew their nose twice within an hour?

Anyone else struggling whether or not your kid is sick or has allergies? It’s going to be a fun school year for us 🙆🏼‍♀️🙆🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

11/09/2021

01/09/2021

It was 8 or 9 pm and I was in tears when my husband left me and our newborn daughter to go to the pharmacy down the street. I needed lanolin- more commonly known as ni**le cream.

He was FaceTiming with his buddies who thought it was hilarious. They about died when he asked the store clerk where he could find it - quickly adding it’s for his wife who is breast feeding a baby. Just in case the worker thought it was for him. 🤣

I’d imagine it was like a guy buying tampons or pads for their mom or sister or girlfriend- whoever.

Breastfeeding is made out to be this beautiful, natural, bonding experience between mother and baby. When in reality- it hurts, it’s hard and it’s an emotional wrecking ball.

I’m talking about it because it shouldn’t be a hush hush topic. Women need more support. We shouldn’t have to hide the hardship or pretend it’s so simple and natural - It’s not!

My sister had to calm me down when the pediatrician was getting nervous my baby wasn’t gaining weight. My milk wasn’t in. I needed a few more days. Who knew?!

I also distinctly remember being able to help a fellow mom out months later when she was also in the struggle.

We don’t have to get graphic here. But I want you to know it can be very painful. The cream is needed. Getting the baby to latch *correctly* makes a big difference in whether you bleed and scab or hurt or are ok.

Lactation consultants can be superheroes without capes. I’m on my way to becoming a maternal wellness coach and I think that starts with giving the real picture of motherhood .. the good and the ugly!

These are some of my favorite pics post feeding of both my babes. XO

22/08/2021

My little one is getting ready to start preschool. We would have Done this last year because I think she’s smart as a whip (is that the saying?) and would just eat up learning. But thanks Covid. So we are trying again.

She was able to see her classroom while dropping off her supplies this week. Her teacher asked me what did I do and I turned and instantly started to say I’m a journalist. I’ve been saying it for 16 years. And five years before that that’s all I said I wanted to do. So I stopped midsentence -gave a puzzled look and said I used to be a reporter.

It was a little bit of an out of body experience. But it felt really good say former. Oddly enough it’s been one hell of a week in Washington. And I can honestly say I didn’t miss it one bit. Certainly didn’t miss comments about my appearance. My hair. And certainly not about my reporting.

So here’s to a great new school year. And new beginnings for all of us. (oh and PS here in Maryland we don’t start school until after Labor Day)

28/07/2021

When I was a kid I loved watching the Summer Olympics Swimming, gymnastics and track n field were my favorites.

The fighting four, as they are nicknamed, showcased some of the best talent America has to offer. Their hard work paid off.

There has been a lot of attention on 24 year old women’s gymnastics team Captain Simone Biles. Please remember she’s only 24.

Her talent is incredible but her strength and self awareness are extraordinary. Even the greatest have to deal with mental health challenges.

I’m praying for her health. I’m so thankful she’s talking about it. I hope it’s helping someone else who may feel like the weight of their world (not the world) is on their shoulders.

What a role model! Thank you Simone.

(Pic courtesy of Sunisa Lee Twitter)

25/07/2021

It’s estimated that the Casey Anthony case and trial caught the attention of a quarter of a billion people. I was right there in the courtroom watching everything. Tweeting. Boy, Twitter was a different beast then.

I haven’t thought about the case much until an old attorney friend sent me a book about the case.

I’ve been reading a little each night after the kids are asleep. There’s so much I didn’t remember. It’s been a nice walk down memory lane.

Did you watch the trial? Do you know who Casey Anthony is?

02/07/2021

The loss of so many in this way is horrific …
But to lose a child in any way is just unimaginable.

A member of City of Miami Fire-Rescue has lost his 7-year-old daughter in the Surfside, Florida, building collapse, officials said Friday.

30/06/2021

Finally. My last day is here. And if anyone thought I would be sad, maybe I’ll regret it, I’ll miss news… I don’t. I won’t.

And just to make sure I wasn’t second-guessing this decision Hope went ahead and decided to cover her entire body in hives and battle what feels like a never-ending fever. At the same time she also decided sleeping more than three hours was just silly.

Under normal circumstances I probably would’ve NOT went to work Monday- I haven’t slept. Hope is pitiful. She just wants to be held. Three doctors in two days. It’s been a lot! And I’ve been sadly- helpless.

But you can’t not show up for your last week.

Tomorrow though — it won’t matter how many times Hope wakes up or whether Charlie decides at 3am she needs to come and give me a hug (that happened today too) my alarm isnt going off at 4:30, I don’t have to do hair and make up and I’ll be able to read the whole
newspaper article not just skim the headlines.

Thank you For everything these past two decades. It’s been fun.

14/05/2021

I probably should not post this for another month... but it feels like a dirty little secret I’m keeping from you- and if you know anything about me or have been following me you know I don’t keep secrets very well. Never have.

My time with Cox is coming to an end. In fact, my time reporting on television is wrapping up.

And since I’m being incredibly honest... I cannot wait.

I love news. I will be a lifelong follower of it. I just don’t want to talk about it anymore in a professional setting. It’s crazy. I never thought I would feel this way. And maybe that feeling will change. But I don’t think so.

It’s been a hard two years here for me. I was going to leave last year but then there was a pandemic and Hope’s little health scare while in utero caused me to panic and stay a bit longer.

But this year has proven, without a doubt, that it’s time for something new. But first, a bit of a break.

10 years ago I took a break and it led me to my best friends Jen and Sonya, it brought me home to my mom, dad and my nephews and it brought me to you. And eventually it led me to Ryan and my two girls. Who would have known?!

So we have a bit more time together. Thx for following me here. Thanks for encouraging me.

Most importantly, thank you for your prayers. I hope they continue, even when I’m not talking to you live from DC.

XO,
J