A Woman's Soul

11/04/2020

My Soul is Incomplete. I Need To Find An Outlet For All My Pent-up Anger &Pain. I Have Fought All My Life I've Kept Silent With Hopes that 😂 The Real Truths Would Be UnCovered,that I,at Last, Would Be Seen As The Victim The Real Heroine At last!!!

10/03/2020

I'm Soo tired, I'm sooo worn,
I am tired of
fighting to
stay alive.
I'm tired of this pain that never
goes away, that has me bent & aged... unable to
stand tall.
If only God..would call
My Soul Home,
So I could rest once more

04/03/2020

I'm so lost, I'm weary & tired
I'm always in pain,always alone, I feel like I'm a failure,I feel afraid, I feel
death coming, these black shadows. hover over my bed
I see him to have lost my
way, f poo r the first time in a long time. I can't seem to find my faith.. I'm sorry that I didn't have the courage &strength to keep the person I love, here by me, I wish I could turn back time, I'd love to be able to once again, share whatever time I've got left, with the one & only,
True Love I've ever had
I am so confused,so angry,so blue. I miss him,I love him, I wish to just see &talk to him,. even if, it's only an hour or two

23/02/2020

🖤💫

21/02/2020

I wish there were words to break through your walk,your silence
I wish that there would be soneway to just talk to you or see you,just even for a minute
I wish there was a way that I could get closer to you,to have a face to face chat, so I could just know,for sure, that you are alright&well, that you would tell me that you're not in love with me anymore,that you have someone new.
I cannot apologize enough for all the wrong decisions I made that resulted in you going away, My prayers are for you to be well happy and moving forward to that better place you said you were going, I want to release this love for you,let it go, forget you too..but I haven't been able to. God brought you &I together for a reason, you cannot deny that ever, we both did wrong but we were a strong team &overcame more than most people. I pray that one day very soon, that you will video chat me and tell me what I really need to hear I can't blame you for finding someone else, I look in this mirror &all I see is an old woman,who can't no longer even care for herself, I never thought I'd be this helpless, all I know is I love you still and wish that you would give me a call before I die

13/02/2020

Yes just what are we doingRay?

Wild Heart, Wings & No Regrets ♥️

03/02/2020

Here you go again. Why would you💖 send a bi***es thing ass to me? Whatz more complexing is that You!! won't at least post a pic of you &her together?? You must feel very ashamed to be with her huh? Or are you scared her husband will recognize?

31/01/2020

This was me before this darkness began. .

31/01/2020

I'm spiriling down down into the darkness,
I'm crying out for help yet
Yet...no one
Heard me.
My mind screams your name, over and over
But ..you aren't there,you
Don't hear hear me... don't you care? I love you
So much, I'm afraid of this darkness..I need you so much you're the only one that I trust...help me

Please come save me. Hear my cries..for help

22/01/2020

You came into my life,
Why? I will never know ..
And from that first night, we knew that we
Had met before.
In another place in time.
You helped me to release
So many fears, Because of You, my loneliness disappeared
You had my heart,right from the start, I felt that
Now. You filled that missing part .
Of Me! That had been empty for a very,long time.
I couldn't believe that You were mine
We loved hard,passionately,and amazing
Though we each had once had others. None of them had fulfilled us..
Like You for me,And,Me
For You. At last,I wasn't afraid to venture into things..I didn't know,things I'd
Never,Ever Allowed Anyone or Anything to take me to before
I knew that I could trust you You tenderly gave me so many Firsts, I'm so
Happy that we shared those moments together,
Thank you for giving me your love.

17/01/2020

I've been reminiscing
On those moments we
Once shared
Some,which make me laugh and smile
Instead of crying these tears
We had so many beautiful,crazy moments
We had our ups and downs but that special,once in a lifetime love...never failed
And even though we are now apart, of which I know was mostly my own fault..because I failed you,I wasn't strong enough, to keep you here by my side and give you that special care you needed. My heart breaks a lil more everyday,I still am in love with you,I know I will love only you...til my dying day. I've cried a million years, I long to just see you and hold you once more very tight It hurt my soul each time my cards and letters were returned ,and every phone call was not answered,but I'm learning that you may now either have a new love,or one from your past,you don't love me anymore I have to live with that. I hope in time that you will reach out and once more be my friend, I'd really like that it would mean ALOT I miss that much more than you will ever know.

12/01/2020

11/01/2020

The darkness if night has closed in,
I glance at the clock and see
Itz once more,time for bed.
I hate this part, I dread the darkness of each night.
Tonight.. I didn't take the pill, the one who caused me...to close my eyes.
I wanted to see if maybe,I
Could finally sleep without that pill tonight
I am still working on getting over you..l trying to make myself believe
That there never ever was,a you &me. I do not wanna think of you at all..
Cuz then, I'd have to admit that I need you lying next to me in my bed. All I ever wanted,all I ever needed, got lost forever..the day you left. I regret ever letting you go I was so wrong I would love to turn time back, for the chance to have you next to me,loving me like before. Sometimes I get through it sometimes I don't, because the Love for You Lives On In My Heart,My Soul, Forever & Always it will remain I'll take it to my grave, now here I sit...tears running down my face, thoughts of you again...keep me from sleeping tonight. .AGAIN ,💖💖💖💖💞

31/12/2019

I'm a woman who has been through hell and clawed my way back. I am "for real" a one of a kind that cannot be duplicated by anyone. When I love,I love completely,wholly, forever.

28/12/2019

I see your face
As I sit here
Looking out the window
Remembering times
When you held me tight
And kept me warm on cold
Winter's nights
Wondering now,where you're at,wondering who now, you're holding tight?. Tears start to flow
Down my face, My heart is breaking,shattering into
Small pieces. I long for you to find your way back. To love me as you
Used to I pray that no other woman,can keep your love or desire satisfied, that your heart and soul will only be for me,&.me alone. I wish that you would somehow feel my touches,my kisses, my breath on your neck and call out my name loudly, as you have s*x with her. Again &again. Til she leaves forever and never returns
They say that no woman can compete with another Woman's love for the same man? True or not? Don't know but If it is, I'd give up my last breath to have you in my arms again . You may have changed,as you say, to have conquered the demons inside your head,that hurt your body &your soul,moved forward to a better life for you. But you can't see the struggle I fought, to also break free of those demons too. You're blind to these changes I've done too, so I could move forward and be a better me too. I wish you could, I wish you would call me, I long to hear your voice again,to chat and share like we used to do. Our breakup has taken alot out of me, the face I now see in the mirror,has aged and lost itz glow, my body stays racked in pain day & night, instead of walking now,I stay in this wheelchair, wishing for you to be here

28/12/2019

He will never ever know how very much I loved him. He won't ever know everything I had to do just to be by his side. There was alot I could not tell him because he was too precious to me and I wasn't going to allow others words against him hurt his beautiful soul. I was THE ONLY ONE! WHO STOOD BY HIS SIDE THROUGH EACH &EVERY ILLNESS HE HAD I TOOK CARE OF HIM BY MYSELF, SELLING ANYTHING I COULD,JUST TO MAKE SURE, HE HAD WHAT HE NEEDED. NL ONE ELSE HELPED HIM, NO ONE REACHED OUT TO HIM,EVEN BY TELEPHONE. NOW THAT I AM NEEDING HIM TO BE HERE FOR ME,TO HELP ME THROUGH THIS CRIPPLING ILLNESS, HE IS T HERE,HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE BY ME. HE CANT ACKNOWLEDGE ME,OR THE LOVE &LIFE HE AND I shared together. Suddenly, I'm the bad person who caused his many illnesses,.