Social media has so many pros & cons but the research has become very clear about how overuse can lead to deterioration of mental health… especially in kids and teens. It is hard to detach completely and there’s a reason for that… one of the things I discuss in my course on understanding and managing social media (Navigating the Digital Maze) is that the companies building these platforms know the neuroscience and use it to increase time And engagement! I help you understand this as well as how to take steps to help your daughter understand it too! She may push back but, I have found over and over that once girls detach and get past the “withdrawal” phase, they can see more clearly how they are happier and they begin to rediscover joy in other things! I encourage you to challenge her to see of this is true! #teenmentalhealth #socialmediabreak #parentingteens #raisinggirls #raisingdaughters
We can often miss opportunities for connection and learning more about our daughters because we interpret their responses as disrespect! Challenge yourself to use the opportunity differently - if you are curious about ways to do that come chat with me and let’s find a path forward together #nurturinggirls #raisingdaughters #parentingteens #momsofteengirls #raisingteengirls #parentinggirls #momsoftweensandteens #raisingteendaughters #raisinggirls
There will be many relationships in my daughters’ lives that may bring hard leasons and even make them doubt things.I have vowed that our mother/daughter relationship will never be part of that group! Here are a few ways I accomplish that: 1- Finding ways to use authoritative parenting 2- Being a mom that listens more than lectures. 3- Providing room for their voices in conversations and decisions. 4- Showing them the same respect as I want from them 5- Creating and maintining a safe emotional space to hold when they need it 6- honoring who they are instead of my idea of who they should be. 7- Giving them room to challenge me when needed so i can manage mybown triggers and history and not pass it to them! #nurturinggirls #parentingteens #parentingtips #raisingdaughters #mothersanddaughters #raisingteengirls #momsoftweensandteens #raisingteens
As your teen begins to define these four levels we engage in a dance with herWe take steps back and forth to accommodate for these changes while still holding our own family values true. Each level has a step we can take in this dance to help us navigate it together. The key in using these steps is compromise on both parts, finding a common ground in each stage to move forward (sometimes with baby steps)👉First- Her changing characteristics can include things like the physical changes in her body but also how she begins to use her personality in different ways. If we reject these, it sends her the message that we disapprove of her as a person (even if that’s not how it was meant) ACCEPTANCE is the step associated with the characteristic level. 👉Next is value differences… This is a tough one because many parents have created a set of strong family values and when our daughters veer away from them it can feel hurtful, confusing, and disrespectful. The step at this level revolves around RESPECTING. The bottom line is that our daughters will often try on new values that they have found or heard with their peers and many times, they might actively even express an opposite one from us during their search for more autonomy When we reject it or disrespect their voice or curiosity it only deepens the divide. We don’t have to agree with it but when we can respectfully discuss why and how she is thinking, it opens her to hearing all perspectives(not just peers)👉Third- Habits are actions that tend to be more automatic instead of purposefully thought out. Research identifies that we can create one after doing the same thing repetitively and consistently. These can be helpful or unhelpful!The step linked with this level is TOLERATING. This doesn’t mean we have to just let those negative habits go (like talking back or hoarding dishes) - but it does mean that instead of quickly implementing punishment for them we would do better by tolerating t
Anyone else?
I’m not complaining… gross stuff comes with the territory. And I know what I signed up for but, its so funny to watch my daughter go from a kid who would play in the most disgusting pile of mud as a kid to now not be able to tolerate touching an old banana! 😂 #nurturinggirls #parenting #parentingteengirls #raisingdaughters #parentinggirls #momsofteengirls #ParentingTeens #momsofteens
What’s your stand on privacy with your teen?
In case you have a daughter struggling with friends…. It’s hard on everyone but- she is not alone!
Every family is different but the research is becoming more and more clear…. Delaying is better!
I have been focused on a bit of a theme lately but, there’s a reason for that!
I have noticed more and more that teens I work with have struggled with managing Social Media and the effects of it on socialization with others is remarkable A big issue no one is talking about is that, most of the time, parents have no idea the magnitude of the problem (even if they think they do)!
I am on a mission to support and educate parents and help them become aware and ready to help thier kids!
These 4 movies are ways to help you get started in that education- if you know of others PLEASE share them in the comments!
It feels like our village has become nonexisitent these days and we need to build it up again! Let’s do it together #ParentingTeens #nurturinggirls #socialmedia #raisingdaughters #teenmentalhealth #parents #parenting
When we were children, the way that our parents responded and guideed us as we grew created a type of blueprint that we tend to automatically follow as parents ourselves.
There is no black-and-white style of parenting. Most parents are a mix of some positive and some negative. However, when we grow up in an environment that weighs more on the supportive, unconditional love side, we naturally bring that into our own parenting style. When the opposite is true, it takes more work and self reflection in order to change that pattern for own children.
If we don’t do that work. it shows up as defensiveness and denial, causing friction in our relationships with our own children, especially as our kids enter their teen years.
Because the reality is that our children do get to a point in their development where they see who we are as people and realize that we have flaws. They will see them and pivot from the children that ant to follow your lead to individuals that call ypu out for each mistake made! Therefore, if we do not accept them ourselves (and admit to them) it leads to more significant conflict in our relationship with our children.
It’s never too late to be able to start this journey of self-reflection. When we are able to heal our own wounds and identify our triggers from our own upbringing, it allows us to be more open and find paths to navigate a new way with our kids, which, in turn, changes the entire trajectory for them in the future! #ParentingTeens #raisingteendaughters #nurturinggirls #raisingteenagers #raisingdaughters #raisingteengirls #parenting #parentingishard
Lately, there’s been a lot of negative self talk that I’ve heard from the girls… both the ones I’m working with as well as some of the girls in my own house.
It’s an easy default for a lot of teens to fall into and the usual recommendations of positive affirmations and gratitude journals tend to fall on deaf years.
So today, as I was sitting in the car pick up line for school, I had a few minutes so I thought I might just share some extra tips that you might be able to use with your daughter.
If you have other ideas that have worked for you and your daughter, pleawe share them in the comments because it’s always great to learn from each other #nurturinggirls #raisingteenagers #raisingteengirls #momsofteens #raisinggirls #parentingteengirls #raisingdaughters #raisingteendaughters #Parenting #teenmentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters
Critical thinking skills are not skills that develop overnight. They are skills that need to be taught and practiced.
It’s often something that gets overlooked in our communication with our daughters, especially because, in the teen years, this area of their brain is still in early development. This makes it feel very frustrating to have those conversations, because not only are they detaching from you, but they also don’t have those critical thinking skills to be able to self evaluate often. So keeping this in mind is really important when we are modeling and using these skills with her.
The great part is that once she gets it, they will be skills that will be useful for her for the rest of her life both with you and with everyone around her !
#nurturinggirls #raisingteenagers #raisingteengirls #momsofteens #raisinggirls #parentingteengirls #raisingdaughters #raisingteendaughters #momsofteengirls #Parenting #communication #parentingteens
Let’s Face It, Social media is inevitable for our teens!
At one point or another they’re going to be exposed to and start using it. As a rule, I recommend that parents wait until AT LEAST high school to introduce it but, I know that can be difficult. So, if you have decided to introduce it to your daughter, you want to consider a lot of things.
One thing that often gets overlooked is how your daughter might respond to different platforms and apps based on her personality and behavior pattern.
Apps like Instagram and TikTok use algorithms that reinforce some of the negative aspects of adolescence, such as her need to fit in and be liked.
That doesn’t mean that she can’t use it, it just means that she may need to be eased into it with monitoring and maybe even restricted access as she shows responsibility and the ability to use it without issues.
If your daughter has any depressive symptoms it is wise to avoid social media entirely until she can develop some healthy coping strategies to manage it as well as recognize when she may be having more pronounced symptoms. Until she can do this there is research to support that social media can be a contributing factor to her depressive symptoms!
One last (probably unpopular opinion) …Snapchat is an app that, although extremely popular, should be delayed until much later in teen years. I know this has become a “go to” for teens to communicate these days but there are features that work aginst the teen brain!!! This app requires an extreme amount of executive functioning skills to manage and as we know, this is an area that is emerging for our teen girls!
The biggest factor when introducing social media is making sure you have a plan for introduction, rules, and montioring before jumping in.
Come to the Nurturing Girls website to see what resources we have to help! #nurturinggirls #raisingteenagers #raisingteengirls #momsofteens #raisinggirls #parentingteengirls #raisingdaughters #raising
Parenting teen girls is NOT for the faint at heart! It is brutall! There is so much that no one tells us.
Yes, we hear that the teen years are hard…
Yes, we hear that teen girls can be tough…
but no one explains the deep lows and emotional hits it brings with it… maybe because it’s hard to truly understand unless you’re in it!
#raisingteenagers #nurturinggirls #momsofteens #raisingteengirls #raisinggirls #momsofteens #parentingteengirls #RaisingTeenDaughters #raisingdaughters
Opening the conversations about dating, consent, and sex can be harder as your daughter enters adolescence…. I have a resource to help! 🌟 Introducing “The Dating Bundle” 💖a resource to help with understanding and connection designed for moms to use WITH their teen daughters. 🚀 Here's what it includes: 📘 Ebook: "The Hard Stuff"Uncover the secrets of teen dating and explore the dynamics of relationships in adolescence! 💡💬 Workbook: "Conversations That Connect"Ignite meaningful conversations through engaging activities.🚩 Infographic: "Red Flags in Teen Dating"Empower your teen girls to navigate relationships confidently. Identify red flags and foster discernment.🤔 Self-Reflection Worksheet: "Am I Ready for Dating?"Encourage self-awareness in your teen. Reflect on emotional readiness and values before entering the dating world.📝 Dating Guideline Worksheet: Explore healthy dating guidelines collaboratively. Foster mutual understanding and shared values. Ready to make lasting connections with your teen? 🌈 find it at www.NurturingGirls.com/DatingBundle. #TeenDating #Relationships #EmpowerHer #Parenting #Nurturinggirls #NewRelease 📦🌸
I can hear you all asking…so then what do we do??
It’s all great to know, but the next step is what do we do with this information to get our daughter to do what we need her to do?
Well the great thing about understanding the brain is that we can leverage neuroscience insights for a smoother journey! 💡
Here are some tips to do just that….
🔄 Autonomy Wins:
Offer choices and involve them in decision-making to boost intrinsic motivation. Offer options and involve her in the process. Ask her for a time that she will be able top get the task completed and let her know that you will follow up at that time to make sure it happened.
🎉 Highlight Passions:
Link tasks to their interests for that extra boost of motivation. Try to link any rewards or benefits to things she is passionate about or interested in to encourage “buy in”
🤝 Collaborate, Don’t Dictate:
Set timelines together to foster a sense of shared responsibility.
🌐 Social Connection:
Frame tasks with social context, aligning with peer expectations.
👫 Peer Power:
Encourage group work for shared motivation and responsibility whenever you can.
📅 Realistic Expectations: Recognize brain development and set achievable goals based on what she has shown you she can handle.
🌈 Positive Vibes:
Don’t forget to recognize when she gets it right! Pointing out her accomplishments will fuel a sense of achievement.
🗣️ Open Communication: Understand her perspective and concerns. Genuinely asking for her ideas, thoughts, and feedback will go a LONG way.
⚖️ Balance is Key:
Find the sweet spot between guidance and independence. She will still need the guidance but if you give it when asked instead of offering automatically you might find she hears you more.
Parenting a teen girl is not for the faint of heart! It is a marathon so make sure you pace yourself 🚀 If you need more support come join us in the Nurturing Girls community! #ParentingTips #Teenagers #nurt
Social media isn’t all bad but…depending on the state of your daughter’s mental health… it might be impacting her more than you think! #nurturinggirls #raisingdaughters #momsoftweens #momsofteens #parentingteenagers #parentinggirls #momsofteengirls #RaisingTeenDaughters #teensandsocialmedia #teensandmentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #teenmentalhealth
This post comes to you today from someone who is strapped into this rollercoaster with you…. This has been a tough couple of weeks for me, managing the emotions and launching of my own daughters so… every word comes from my heart (and experience) and I know SO many of you can feel it too, at your core! That’s why I created Nurturing Girls- find resources on the website and exclusive content, offers and free resources when you join our email community! come join us and lets navigate this together 🥰 #nurturinggirls #raisingdaughters #momsoftweens #momsofteens #parentingteenagers #parentinggirls #momsofteengirls #RaisingTeenDaughters #momsoftweengirls #momsofteengirls #raisinggirls
Navigating the mother-daughter relationship during the teen years is honestly one of the hardest parts of parenting that I’ve had to do yet.
This is just a gentle reminder for those of you going through it with me. #nurturinggirls #raisingdaughters #momsoftweens #momsofteens #parentingteenagers #parenting #parentinggirls #momsofteengirls #RaisingTeenDaughters #momsoftweengirls #momsanddaughters
