31/07/2023
What would you be saying "enough" to? What's the first thing that comes to mind? Is it something you already knew but hadn't quite been ready to accept yet? How does it feel to say "enough" to it now? (Even if just to yourself.)
No, Not Crazy
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Feelings for thinkers. Thinking for feelers. Relationships, Resilience, Renewal
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Hi, I'm Jessica--With over two decades in education, curriculum development, and coaching, I help people unravel the impact of external messaging, recognize their inner truth, and inhabit a life of their own creation.
17/07/2023
If you’re looking for an all-in committed intimate partnership, someone’s lack of capacity in relationship creates its own reality. You can have chemistry, compatibility, connection, and love but if they can’t show up, if they can’t remain relational and connected in confusing or challenging times, they don’t have the capacity to create what you want to create. It’s disappointing…heartbreaking even…I know, but you have your answer.
We often try to make up for someone’s lack of capacity by carrying more or giving more because we can, because we do have the capacity. Doing that, however, is pouring all that love and devotion into a sieve, not a container. What a waste of all you have to give.
The good news is that when you walk away, you take that capacity with you which you can bring to a relationship with someone who can meet you there.
12/07/2023
This is a variation of a longer piece I wrote many years ago after we had taken in some abandoned kittens that my daughter found. My son, who was about 8 at the time, said "You know, Mom, the kittens are making me think that you should write about adapting. That would fit in with the kind of stuff you write. You know, they were with their mom and then something probably happened to her. And they were alone and I bet they were scared. Now they’re here and they got used to us and they’re happy but soon they’ll go live with someone else and that'll be different and they’ll have to get used to it but then they’ll be happy there, too. You should write about it."
So I did.
02/07/2023
It's exhausting, I know.
You can lighten your load.
It can feel better.
30/06/2023
Are you sure? Why can't you?
Where did you hear that?
What is the belief about yourself embedded in it?
Who benefits/benefitted from you having that belief?
When you've located the origin of those messages, gotten to the heart of them, and unraveled what's yours and what isn't, your answer often will become "Actually, I can."
28/06/2023
Does it feel like everyone wants something from you? Wants you to be who they think you should be?
You give parts of yourself away. You suppress your own desires and needs. You're exhausted. You probably could use a hug.
Take a moment to feel into what's in your core.
What's not defined by others.
What's foundational and necessary to the fullest expression of who you are.
What does it want? What life is it calling for you to live? What can you give to that truth within?
Oh, and while you're thinking about that...sending you a hug.
26/06/2023
We all get truly confused sometimes and there's no shame in that. But...you may not be confused as often as you think. Is it confusion or simply the noise of listening to too many external voices instead of the one knowing voice that is your own?
25/06/2023
Does someone have to like every single thing you have to offer? Of course not. But they should still make space for it at the table.
23/06/2023
I know it feels like it is. It's not. None of it. I'll say it as many times as you need me to.
21/06/2023
Sometimes when you’re spinning your wheels or turning yourself inside out trying to make a decision, it’s a marker that you already have the answer…it simply may be something that's hard to hear or face. So you spend a lot of energy continuing to ruminate, trying to talk yourself out of your feelings, and staying stuck long after the truth is apparent.
Is your mind trying to silence what you know in your heart and gut?
19/06/2023
When you've invested so much into a family member, a friendship, a relationship, or even a job or a location, when you've hoped that somehow it would get better, or that you can live with it as it is, it's hard to let go, hard to move on.
We believe in the fallacy of sunk cost which tells us that the more we've put into something, the more we should stay the course—that if we don't, we'll lose everything we put into it already.
It's not lost, though, because it brought you what it could at the time and also because it brought you here, to this place where you can make new choices and where your life can be more. So much more. That's what's at stake now...not the past you'd be releasing but the future you'd be missing.
14/06/2023
Giving yourself permission to be angry may be your first step towards acknowledging, "I am not ok with this." That acknowledgment is necessary to get to the step of "What do I need to do about it?" and ultimately, create a life that meets your needs and lights you up.
12/06/2023
Is there really a choice at all?
08/06/2023
It bears repeating.
Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
05/06/2023
A toxic relationship will be hard to leave because, at some point, your nervous system learned to accommodate that as a model of love. Even when you’re unhappy, it feels normal to you. It actually is normal to you. When you encounter a healthy, loving relationship, it may feel very, very wrong.
For example, when you’ve learned that disrespect, manipulation, or lack of delight in your presence is love, that’s what you’ll choose. That’s where you’ll stay. It’ll feel normal. When you try to make a change, even when you know it will be better for you, your system may be triggered and overwhelmed and feel like something dangerous is happening. It may respond to this unfamiliarity by wanting to rush back to what it’s used to, no matter how awful, hurtful, and soul-crushing it is. So, it’s important to delve into the feelings beyond what’s telling you this is how it should be. When you start healing those wounds, you can begin to make different choices and embrace your vision of a new normal. You deserve it.
02/06/2023
Domestic abuse encompasses so much more than most of us realize. Everybody needs to listen to this conversation with Sybil Cummin—you may be experiencing abuse and not realize it. Even if you’re not, chances are you know someone who is. Sybil has a vast amount of valuable information to share...and she does so in a compassionate and clear way.
Find it here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2054685/12952322
Rising Beyond Power and Control
01/06/2023
Free yourself.
17/05/2023
Toxic people erode your sense of self to the point that you question your own reality. When they suspect you’re having a moment of clarity or strength, when they suspect you might actually walk away, they change their tune to show you how nice they can be and to convince you they care.
You may be tempted to think, “Ok, it’s not that bad” or “See, they really don’t want to lose me.”
I get it, and I’m sorry—because that’s not about them caring about you. That’s about them caring about themselves and caring about being able to control you and keep you around. Unfortunately, once they’ve hooked you in again, they’ll withdraw whatever was making you feel good and go back to their usual ways. You deserve better.
15/05/2023
If we have come to believe we are not worthy of love, respect, and acceptance as we are, it will be a challenge to embrace that we know what we know, want what we want, can be who we are.
12/05/2023
Why is it so hard even to acknowledge that we have imposter syndrome?
Why do we have imposter syndrome in the first place?
How can we overcome it?
Bre Clark TV is telling us all about it on this week's episode of the podcast.
Check it out here! https://nonotcrazy.buzzsprout.com/share
10/05/2023
You are someone's answer.
07/05/2023
We tend to have a knee-jerk reaction that change is negative or working against us. Here’s what’s actually working against us—that knee-jerk reaction. It undermines our ability to navigate or capitalize on change that’s happening and to choose change that benefits us.
Change is the voice of your next step. Best to hear it and join the conversation.
05/05/2023
Should I stay or should I go? By a show of hands, who has been there? Oh, all of us?
Understanding the distinctions behind these statements may point to whether you're facing what every relationship faces...or whether you're trying to talk yourself out of what you feel and into a relationship that isn't right for you.
01/05/2023
The purpose of any tool or practice is not to mute, numb or turn away from your feelings. The goal isn’t to talk yourself into being ok with what isn’t ok for you.
Uncomfortable feelings contain vast wisdom. So the goal is to be able to be present with them, to get to know them, to listen to them, and to learn how they inform your next steps.
It’s not easy, I know, but acknowledging what they have to share is where you begin healing from choices and patterns that no longer serve you.
29/04/2023
This week’s episode of the No, Not Crazy podcast is a critically important conversation about the effects of valuing, or not valuing, others around us—in our teams, communities, and societies.
It also happens to be with my dad!
Find the episode at:
https://nonotcrazy.buzzsprout.com/share
27/04/2023
Abandoning yourself for a short time can put a serious kink in your connection to what makes you, well...you. When it becomes a chronic state, you may remember yourself almost as a character in a book you read long ago—one you barely remember embodying. Come back to yourself. Reclaim the one in a gazillion uniqueness of your being. Be in relationships that honor and love you for it.
22/04/2023
You know that you’ll only be facing more of the same on an exhausting, crazy-making, soul-crushing continuous loop, right? You know you can’t fix it. You know you can’t live with it. Get off the treadmill. Find the path. Breathe.
19/04/2023
Feel all the feelings. Ride the waves and swim.
14/04/2023
The definition of appeasement is "the policy of acceding to the demands of a potentially hostile nation in the hope of maintaining peace."
If you're engaging appeasement, it means you're faced with aggression, not a healthy relationship.
13/04/2023
Have you lived your life trying (keyword: trying) to avoid pain or have you lived your life choosing to find happiness?
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Videos
Domestic abuse encompasses so much more than most of us realize. Everybody needs to listen to this conversation with Sybil Cummin—you may be experiencing abuse and not realize it. Even if you’re not, chances are you know someone who is. Sybil has a vast amount of valuable information to share...and she does so in a compassionate and clear way. Find it here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2054685/12952322 Rising Beyond Power and Control
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome with Bre Clark
Why is it so hard even to acknowledge that we have imposter syndrome? Why do we have imposter syndrome in the first place? How can we overcome it? Bre Clark TV is telling us all about it on this week's episode of the podcast. Check it out here! https://nonotcrazy.buzzsprout.com/share
This week’s episode of the No, Not Crazy podcast is a critically important conversation about the effects of valuing, or not valuing, others around us—in our teams, communities, and societies. It also happens to be with my dad! Find the episode at: https://nonotcrazy.buzzsprout.com/share
Unfulfilled Longing
What is longing really? Why it's not as risky as you think...and what choice can be even riskier. Check out Episode 8 of the podcast here: https://nonotcrazy.buzzsprout.com/share Or on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6K4VVyu_aQ
How much of our lives do we spend holding our breath...waiting? Let's exhale. And inhale. And again. Don't wait. It's time.
You might be surprised at how fear can illuminate your desires...and what that means for your life! This is big. More truth from Dr. Anancia Stafford on the podcast! Catch the rest here: nonotcrazy.buzzsprout.com/share OR YouTube: https://youtu.be/OLdaU-5z8AY
Do you hear a whisper, or maybe a shout, that it’s time to change your life? Wondering how to make that happen? Afraid that you don’t have the power to make it happen? Well, you do!On the No, Not Crazy podcast this week, Dr. Anancia Stafford is speaking to how we get unstuck and take steps to create the life we desire…and deserve! Her wisdom is both the warm hug and the straight talk we all need! Join us and, together, we can all feel a little less crazy! Link in bio.#changeyourlife #validation #innertruth #getunstuck #indecision #selfworth #listentoyourself #selfaccountability #trustyourself #liveyourtruth #youdeservemore #findjoy #personalresponsibility #selfdoubt #selfconcept #whatisyourdream #decisionmaking #liveyourtruth #embracelove #whatisyourdream
Reconciling Feminism and Faith
Is it possible to have faith and be a feminist? That’s the question we explore with Meghan Tschanz on this week’s episode of the No, Not Crazy podcast. She has a unique inside perspective from growing up in the Evangelical church as well as a wider perspective from choosing to step away from it as adult once she couldn’t unsee its framework of patriarchy and oppression of women. Join us for this fascinating conversation and, together, we can all feel a little less crazy. Find the whole episode here: Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3bYB9AJWF5bOOpQAEWY0bM?si=opJNwJ_LTrySs09xBsGEug&app_destination=copy-link Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/no-not-crazy/id1650565120?i=1000603417458 All other platforms: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2054685/12403269
Denying Your Truth
What are you trying to force into working in your life? What are you denying or contorting within yourself to hold onto what isn’t right for you? Listen to the whole episode here: https://nonotcrazy.buzzsprout.com/share
When suddenly you realize that your life needs to be something very, very different from how you’ve been living it and that’s going to mean some big changes, what do you do? On this episode of the podcast, Gabriel Ayuso and I discuss making transformative decisions in the face of fear and uncertainty. Join us, and together, we can all feel a little less crazy!
Pleasure-filled life anyone? 🙋♀️ An incredibly important message from Dr. Juliana Hauser.
Embracing Your Sexual Agency with Dr. Juliana Hauser
On this episode of the No, Not Crazy podcast, Dr. Juliana Hauser is here to tell us how to connect with our unique sexual selves and why that is essential to embodying our truest selves. Join us and, together, we can all feel a little less crazy! Find the whole episode here: https://nonotcrazy.buzzsprout.com/share
Embracing Your Sexual Agency with Dr. Juliana Hauser
On this episode of the No, Not Crazy podcast, Dr. Juliana Hauser is here to tell us how to connect with our unique sexual selves and why that is essential to embodying our truest selves. Join us and, together, we can all feel a little less crazy! Find the whole episode here: https://nonotcrazy.buzzsprout.com/share
No, Not Crazy Podcast with Andrew Harvey
The brilliant Andrew Harvey- Author speaking about how validation might just have the power to...well, change everything. Join us and, together we can all feel a little less crazy! Find the whole episode here: Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/356Qa9XTJ3ykH5mqDDfSPt... Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/no-not-crazy/id1650565120?i=1000596696147 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVu8qQcozdQ Other platforms: https://nonotcrazy.buzzsprout.com/share
Andrew Harvey on No, Not Crazy Podcast
Latest episode of the No, Not Crazy podcast with Andrew Harvey- Author! Andrew addresses the crises we face and how, individually and collectively, we can, and must, rise to the challenge and transform. He is brilliant, wise, and had an unusual personal experience with extreme invalidation. · Learn about Andrew's devastating experience within a spiritual community and the growth that arose from it. · Discovering the love, joy, power, stamina, passion, and beauty within yourself that connects you directly to your divinity. · How we can move through this time of global peril to become a world with extraordinary new powers of love, compassion, and justice. · The ways your individual dark night of the soul can lead to a more expanded, authentic, creative, joyful, regenerated self. · Exploring the radical regeneration map available to us all that offers hope for personal and global transformation. Find it here: Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/356Qa9XTJ3ykH5mqDDfSPt?si=e59e362d11b042cf Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/no-not-crazy/id1650565120 Google: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5idXp6c3Byb3V0LmNvbS8yMDU0Njg1LnJzcw== Other platforms: https://nonotcrazy.buzzsprout.com/share
Building a Healthy Self-Concept in an Invalidating World with Jeff Brown
Why we need to get on track with our purpose and path...asap. Important words from JEFF BROWN. Check out our whole conversation on the podcast. Find it here: Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/356Qa9XTJ3ykH5mqDDfSPt?si=ac0029f3cb074e2e&nd=1 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/no-not-crazy/id1650565120 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeMDvZg3lJk&t=1s Other platforms: https://www.nonotcrazy.com/podcast
No, Not Crazy Podcast: Building a Healthy Self-Concept in an Invalidating World with Jeff Brown
New episode of the No, Not Crazy podcast with JEFF BROWN! Jeff brings his grounded, embodied, insightful perspective, as well as personal experience, to familial and societal invalidation and what it really takes to build a healthy self-concept in the face of it all. Join us and, together, we can all feel a little less crazy! * What is the role of finding our sacred purpose in validating ourselves? And how do we find it? * Understand the way in which our survivalist society perpetuates a culture of shame and self-hatred. * How showing ourselves that we matter brings us closer to self-love and healing. * Why the journey to reshape our inner world is a beautiful and challenging warrior’s path. * The small question of…where does humanity go from here? Why we must begin authentically embodying ourselves and authentically relating to others. Find it here: Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/356Qa9XTJ3ykH5mqDDfSPt?si=ac0029f3cb074e2e&nd=1 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/no-not-crazy/id1650565120 Other platforms: https://www.nonotcrazy.com/podcast
No, Not Crazy Podcast Episode 1
This is good news. This is shedding what isn't yours. This is claiming what is. This is an opening to a new framework, a new way. ***Follow the No, Not Crazy Podcast wherever you get your podcasts or find it at https://www.nonotcrazy.com/podcast
No, Not Crazy Podcast Launch
The No, Not Crazy Podcast launches tomorrow! Pretty darn exciting! Please follow wherever you get your podcasts or find it here: https://nonotcrazy.buzzsprout.com/share Let’s unravel this phenomenon of invalidation and, together, we can all feel a little less crazy!
No, Not Crazy Podcast Trailer
Another taste of the No, Not Crazy Podcast! Launching next week! Find it on your favorite podcast platform or at https://nonotcrazy.buzzsprout.com/share
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