11/11/2023
Marriage, kids, and divorce
I hear a lot of folks beat themselves up over a bad marriage, or a divorce, but while it’s tough, the real question is, “is it worth it”.
Marriage can be hard. There are problems that arise, financial, health, social, political, global, jobs change, couples don’t want to live in the same areas, different interests and hobbies, extended families pressures, schooling decisions… the list can go on forever and when couples disagree on several things and begin to grow apart, resentment or regret can seep in. Then you have the arguments that can seem endless and ongoing. The shouting, hurt feelings, resentment. At some point one questions if they made the right decision.
But the flip side is that once one brings a beautiful, pure, precious, child into the world, something magical happens. Like the Grinch, your heart grows 3 sizes! LOL, OK, I’m not sure it physically changes, but you begin to see the world differently. It is no longer about you, there is no room for selfishness, pettiness, or excuses. You have a duty to show this new soul your best side. Your ego disappears. You grow as a person and realize that there is much more to life than football and beer, or beaches and running. You have to nourish the body and soul of that child. Healthy becomes a priority. Setting a good example. You must change diapers, wipe noses, wash hands, give baths, become a language teacher, love unconditionally, discipline, and prepare that child for the world that they are about to face. Once that reality sets in, you have an incredible new found respect and appreciation for parents, teachers, doctors, and mentors than you ever had before. Wow, how could you have been so blind and self-absorbed? It’s then that you realize why some people get wrapped up in politics. They are desperate to make the world better for this new perfect, pure, sweet, innocent child. And as the child grows, you struggle to find new ways to pass on vital information to them. It never ends, and you never want it to. And one day, after years of giving so much of yourself and convincing yourself that they will never understand your sacrifices and efforts, you get a hug or a card, or a look from that child that says - wow! Thank you for all you have done for me… I never realized… and then your heart grows even more. That’s the payoff and it’s priceless. And the cycle continues.