No Cause for Alarm

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No Cause for Alarm Speculative fiction, weird tales, and dark fantasy for speculative, weird and dark people.

I’ve not been writing much, having decided that you’re nine and I might as well just talk to you if I have something to ...
14/05/2024

I’ve not been writing much, having decided that you’re nine and I might as well just talk to you if I have something to share. This is harder to do than I would have anticipated: You’re doing your own thing a lot of the time and you’re a highly scheduled kid. You also seem kind of sad and inaccessible, but maybe you’re just tired....

I’ve not been writing much, having decided that you’re nine and I might as well just talk to you if I have something to share. This is harder to do than I would have anticipated: You’re doing your …

Hey Buddy, When I was your age I was preoccupied with and terrified of the prospect of nuclear war. Adults didn’t unders...
06/09/2023

Hey Buddy, When I was your age I was preoccupied with and terrified of the prospect of nuclear war. Adults didn’t understand the intensity of this fear. I think an expectation that we have of adults is that they be capable of ignoring all the apocalypses about to happen around them. I watched Oppenheimer with Nanny this summer. She sobbed in horror at the end....

Hey Buddy, When I was your age I was preoccupied with and terrified of the prospect of nuclear war. Adults didn’t understand the intensity of this fear. I think an expectation that we have of adult…

I was thinking a lot about the human imagination today. Prior to that I was thinking about Dungeons and Dragons, and aft...
26/07/2023

I was thinking a lot about the human imagination today. Prior to that I was thinking about Dungeons and Dragons, and after that, about what it would be like if you or your sister got shot in the face, and these considerations led me to the broader question of the range of possibilities a mind can consider. We’ll start with Dungeons and Dragons....

I was thinking a lot about the human imagination today. Prior to that I was thinking about Dungeons and Dragons, and after that, about what it would be like if you or your sister got shot in the fa…

Discussion of a bad meme that expresses a dismal world view, containing few curses to protect the delicate mind of a you...
26/07/2023

Discussion of a bad meme that expresses a dismal world view, containing few curses to protect the delicate mind of a young adolescent.

Hey buddy, As you grow I think you’re going to have a lot of people at your disposal who can help you with vetting information and learning how to think. As much as you’re going to be assaulted wit…

A friend of mine told me that these things are too short. Writing really long and involved stuff discussing guns and sel...
26/07/2023

A friend of mine told me that these things are too short. Writing really long and involved stuff discussing guns and self-defense and guerilla war seems at odds with short, digestible essays that are age appropriate for young adolescents. So I guess these are going to be written for a more mature 13 year old. Don’t blame me. I didn’t invent this reality....

A friend of mine told me that these things are too short. Writing really long and involved stuff discussing guns and self-defense and guerilla war seems at odds with short, digestible essays that a…

Some thoughts on suffering, skeletons and ketamine.
26/07/2023

Some thoughts on suffering, skeletons and ketamine.

Hey buddy, I’ve communicated to you that I walk around looking for dead animals, which you don’t seem to think is weird. Good for you. It is weird, and fairly gross, but it’s also weird and gross t…

Hey buddy, I’m finally going to write something about drugs. You’re an adolescent now, and if the trajectory that you’re...
05/04/2023

Hey buddy, I’m finally going to write something about drugs. You’re an adolescent now, and if the trajectory that you’re on at seven continues, you’re probably a reasonably decent person. You’re not mean. You try to be fair. You don’t hate yourself or other people. I was a mess when I was your age. My life sucked, most of the people around me sucked, and I came to suck myself....

Hey buddy,  I’m finally going to write something about drugs.  You’re an adolescent now, and if the trajectory that you’re on at seven continues, you’re probably a reasonably decent perso…

You’re reading now. This is exciting for me, because I don’t really care about sports and I care very much about comics....
06/03/2023

You’re reading now. This is exciting for me, because I don’t really care about sports and I care very much about comics. We were reading The Oatmeal a few weeks ago, which you seemed to enjoy mostly because there were various characters sh****ng out rainbows and that does indeed look very funny, and on the way there we made a video detour that was sports-adjacent, and watched a fairly brilliant scene from the first season of Ted Lasso in which Ted rips Jamie a new as***le for skipping practice. ...

You’re reading now. This is exciting for me, because I don’t really care about sports and I care very much about comics. We were reading The Oatmeal a few weeks ago, which you seemed to enjoy mostl…

I was in the kitchen with your mom the other day talking about a kid in the neighborhood who’s been sad to the point tha...
08/02/2023

I was in the kitchen with your mom the other day talking about a kid in the neighborhood who’s been sad to the point that he’s not going to school (he’s not the first of your friends to have this problem and he won’t be the last). You were cruising by and said that you thought that it was stupid to not go to school for that reason....

I was in the kitchen with your mom the other day talking about a kid in the neighborhood who’s been sad to the point that he’s not going to school (he’s not the first of your friends to have this p…

Some reflections on an awesome bracelet and readiness to beat someone's whole ass.
06/11/2022

Some reflections on an awesome bracelet and readiness to beat someone's whole ass.

Hey buddy,  I turned 41 a few weeks ago, which feels very old. It’s definitely older than I want to be. Oh, if only I could send my middle-aged mind back in time and allow it to occupy my youn…

VOICEMAIL PROMPT: At the tone, please record your message. When you have finished recording, press one for more options....
21/09/2022

VOICEMAIL PROMPT: At the tone, please record your message. When you have finished recording, press one for more options. NARRATOR: Hey bud. Just wanted to hear your voice. I am getting sick of paying your phonebill though. I’ve been sitting here, not much going on. Wanted to talk at you for a minute. You probably don’t remember your grandad. It’s not a common thing, being a successful painter....

VOICEMAIL PROMPT: At the tone, please record your message. When you have finished recording, press one for more options.  NARRATOR:  Hey bud. Just wanted to hear your voice. I am getting …

Intake Specialist : What do you mean when you say you ‘didn’t have much going for you? Client: Just that. Not much of a ...
21/09/2022

Intake Specialist : What do you mean when you say you ‘didn’t have much going for you? Client: Just that. Not much of a future. I was plankton. Just drifting. Intake Specialist : So late teens, early twenties… a bad time. Client: Right. I left home early. I didn’t know how to do anything. I could turn on a microwave and smoke....

Intake Specialist : What do you mean when you say you ‘didn’t have much going for you?  Client: Just that. Not much of a future. I was plankton. Just drifting.  Intake Specialist : So lat…

Reflections on prophecy and speculation in agricultural markets Transcript I will not offer myself to you as a seer. I w...
21/09/2022

Reflections on prophecy and speculation in agricultural markets Transcript I will not offer myself to you as a seer. I will offer myself as a liar, and a person who has thought of lies and studied lies, believed them and then saw the truths beneath. I will begin by telling you: I was tired of life. I think it is easy for the young to be weary in this way....

Reflections on prophecy and speculation in agricultural markets Transcript I will not offer myself to you as a seer. I will offer myself as a liar, and a person who has thought of lies and studied …

Two copper pirates excavate the past and gain insight into the nature of the mental health system. Transcript James: I’m...
21/09/2022

Two copper pirates excavate the past and gain insight into the nature of the mental health system. Transcript James: I’m feeling okay about this. Pull this out of the wall, throw it in the trailer, at the yard tomorrow. But could you stop digging through s**t? It’s gross. And, y’know... no more supervised release, detox, whatever for me, so don’t get distracted....

Two copper pirates excavate the past and gain insight into the nature of the mental health system. Transcript [Sound of saw. Clanging of metal. Then trailing off.]  [Footsteps.]  James: I…

Hey Buddy, There’s a ton of stuff that has already been said in regard to Dave Chappelle’s The Closer. I’ve read some of...
21/09/2022

Hey Buddy, There’s a ton of stuff that has already been said in regard to Dave Chappelle’s The Closer. I’ve read some of it but then I started to feel stupid about not paying attention to other things. I felt like I was up to date on the fact that he’s a s**thead. But since television is my favorite drug and his face is plastered all over Netflix I continued thinking about it. ...

Hey Buddy, There’s a ton of stuff that has already been said in regard to Dave Chappelle’s The Closer. I’ve read some of it but then I started to feel stupid about not paying attention to other thi…

"You're good, so you ain't got nothing to worry about. Just stay that way. You're gonna want to give up. You're gonna wa...
21/09/2022

"You're good, so you ain't got nothing to worry about. Just stay that way. You're gonna want to give up. You're gonna want to start drinking, become a s**tass. [...] So I guess what I'm saying is be good. Fight evil. You do that and you'll never, ever have to see me again. Be good. " -Reservation Dogs, Season 1, Episode 5…...

“You’re good, so you ain’t got nothing to worry about. Just stay that way. You’re gonna want to give up. You’re gonna want to start drinking, become a s**tass. [& #8230…

In my early twenties, a time in which I felt profoundly lost and in which feeling profoundly lost was still novel, a man...
21/09/2022

In my early twenties, a time in which I felt profoundly lost and in which feeling profoundly lost was still novel, a man I owed a great deal to and loved profoundly asked me to work at his law firm. He framed it in a way that allowed me to feel valued instead of unfortunate and deserving of pity, in probably the only way that could work: He asked me to work on a single case....

In my early twenties, a time in which I felt profoundly lost and in which feeling profoundly lost was still novel, a man I owed a great deal to and loved profoundly asked me to work at his law firm…

Hey buddy, I feel like I have useful things to tell you, and most of them won’t be appropriate to share for six years at...
21/09/2022

Hey buddy, I feel like I have useful things to tell you, and most of them won’t be appropriate to share for six years at a minimum. Since there is a non-zero probability that I will die between now and then, I thought I’d write them down. So, this video… We watched it together in 2022, and then we looked at your globe....

Hey buddy,  I feel like I have useful things to tell you, and most of them won’t be appropriate to share for six years at a minimum. Since there is a non-zero probability that I will die betwe…

Hey buddy, That’s a pretty sick bass solo, huh? Wait... did you listen to this through laptop speakers? Unacceptable. Fi...
21/09/2022

Hey buddy, That’s a pretty sick bass solo, huh? Wait... did you listen to this through laptop speakers? Unacceptable. Find some decent headphones and listen to it again. That’s my favorite band, Propagandhi. I’m sure I’ve been forcing you to listen to them for years (unless, you know... I'm not around), and it’s possible I’ve succeeded, in which case this letter is redundant, and you can move on with your day, confident that you’re not missing anything....

Hey buddy,  That’s a pretty sick bass solo, huh? Wait… did you listen to this through laptop speakers? Unacceptable. Find some decent headphones and listen to it again. That’s my fa…

Discussion of a bad meme that expresses a dismal world view, containing few curses to protect the delicate mind of a you...
29/07/2022

Discussion of a bad meme that expresses a dismal world view, containing few curses to protect the delicate mind of a young adolescent.

https://nocauseforalarm.blog/2022/07/29/in-case-i-die-weak-times-hard-men/

Hey buddy, As you grow I think you’re going to have a lot of people at your disposal who can help you with vetting information and learning how to think. As much as you’re going to be assaulted wit…

A friend of mine told me that these things are too short. Writing really long and involved stuff discussing guns and sel...
25/06/2022

A friend of mine told me that these things are too short. Writing really long and involved stuff discussing guns and self-defense and guerilla war seems at odds with short, digestible essays that are age appropriate for young adolescents. So I guess these are going to be written for a more mature 13 year old. Don’t blame me. I didn’t invent this reality....

https://nocauseforalarm.blog/2022/06/25/in-case-i-die-some-more-thoughts-about-guns-supreme-court-edition/

A friend of mine told me that these things are too short. Writing really long and involved stuff discussing guns and self-defense and guerilla war seems at odds with short, digestible essays that a…

The ‘mental illness’ point is totally disingenuous. Let’s stick to the Buffalo and Uvalde shootings, since they’re on ou...
25/06/2022

The ‘mental illness’ point is totally disingenuous. Let’s stick to the Buffalo and Uvalde shootings, since they’re on our minds. Neither of these young men had a history of mental illness, and few mass shootings have been committed by people with diagnosed psychotic disorders. A case study: I worked at a mental institution, and was frequently on a floor where people were involuntarily committed....

https://nocauseforalarm.blog/2022/06/25/supplementary-facebook-rage-post-about-guns/

The ‘mental illness’ point is totally disingenuous. Let’s stick to the Buffalo and Uvalde shootings, since they’re on our minds.  Neither of these young men had a history of mental illness, an…

I was thinking a lot about the human imagination today. Prior to that I was thinking about Dungeons and Dragons, and aft...
05/06/2022

I was thinking a lot about the human imagination today. Prior to that I was thinking about Dungeons and Dragons, and after that, about what it would be like if you or your sister got shot in the face, and these considerations led me to the broader question of the range of possibilities a mind can consider. We’ll start with Dungeons and Dragons....

https://nocauseforalarm.blog/2022/06/05/in-case-i-die-school-shootings-dungeons-and-dragons/

I was thinking a lot about the human imagination today. Prior to that I was thinking about Dungeons and Dragons, and after that, about what it would be like if you or your sister got shot in the fa…

Hey buddy, You're asthma is all messed up today. I'm super sorry. It sucks that someone whose chief joy in life is const...
16/05/2022

Hey buddy, You're asthma is all messed up today. I'm super sorry. It sucks that someone whose chief joy in life is constant motion has lungs that push back like they do. Anyway... I’m your godfather. I don’t know if you know that. Your upbringing hasn’t involved any church, save a funeral here and there. Nonetheless, a Catholic priest poured some water on your head when you were a baby and charged me with overseeing your education in a particular conception of the spiritual world. ...

https://nocauseforalarm.blog/2022/05/16/in-case-i-die-godfatherhood/

Hey buddy, You’re asthma is all messed up today. I’m super sorry. It sucks that someone whose chief joy in life is constant motion has lungs that push back like they do. Anyway… I…

A few years ago I started a novel, made it about 200 pages in, and abandoned it for other projects. Here's an excerpt. I...
19/04/2022

A few years ago I started a novel, made it about 200 pages in, and abandoned it for other projects. Here's an excerpt. If you like it, drop me a line and let me know. Feeling like people have an interest makes it easier to keep going with this sort of thing - CJC Melantha saddled her skeletal horse. The only joy left to it was to run....

https://nocauseforalarm.blog/2022/04/19/novel-excerpt-interstices/

A few years ago I started a novel, made it about 200 pages in, and abandoned it for other projects. Here’s an excerpt. If you like it, drop me a line and let me know. Feeling like people have…

Hey buddy, I was driving east from Queens last week and it took three hours to move thirty miles. If I was riding a hors...
18/04/2022

Hey buddy, I was driving east from Queens last week and it took three hours to move thirty miles. If I was riding a horse that would be impressive, but I was driving an automobile. I wasn’t impressed at all. This turned into a brief existential crisis. I’ve driven east and west during Long Island rush hours in my life and it’s hard to find the meaning in millions of people moving slower than cyclists toward places that most of them don’t want to spend any time in....

https://nocauseforalarm.blog/2022/04/18/in-case-i-die-kurt-cobain/

Hey buddy, I was driving east from Queens last week and it took three hours to move thirty miles. If I was riding a horse that would be impressive, but I was driving an automobile. I wasn’t impress…

Hey buddy, A couple of years ago you got the sense that something was wrong with me. A couple of years is a huge span of...
01/04/2022

Hey buddy, A couple of years ago you got the sense that something was wrong with me. A couple of years is a huge span of time for a kid under ten. It wasn’t clear to me how best to explain it. The best I could come up with was to say that I had a sickness that prevented me from feeling happy....

https://nocauseforalarm.blog/2022/04/01/in-case-i-die-cola-boyy-rogovin/

Hey buddy,  A couple of years ago you got the sense that something was wrong with me. A couple of years is a huge span of time for a kid under ten. It wasn’t clear to me how best to explain it…

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