23/12/2024
Imma be real and vulnerable for a sec here.
For as much as I am doing my best to project positivity as 2024 closes out, this year has been FAR from being a cake walk.
It wouldn't be an exaggeration to state that at times, my mental health and wellbeing has been obliterated this year. Through issues that a lot of people know about, to issues that no one knows about, this year has taken a hefty toll on myself.
I always try to be that guy who is goofy, fun and always laughing. That is a hard act to keep up all year round, and I burn out very easily through this and I begin to regress. I struggle with my image, I struggle with my feelings, I struggle with my emotions.
I think this year, I have projected a side of me that not a lot of people have seen and it's taken some by surprise. However, there is only so much someone can take before they eventually snap, the cup over runs and the emotions come pouring out. My walls have well and truly gone up. My trust has been dented severely and I have to go through a rebuilding process of myself.
Every action i have taken this year has been to protect me. To protect my space and to protect the ones close to me. To ensure that I can heal and rebuild safely.
My wife, puts up with a lot from me. Stomachs a lot, watches me go through all these difficult moments, and she is always there to pull me out and set me straight 💙
I'm learning a new version of me. I am not regressing back into someone who spends their entire time pleasing others whilst overlooking my own happiness. I need to find that balance. I'm not everyone's cup of tea, but I am as loyal as they come and I am who I am.
2025 will be a better year. It will be more positive, with less messy moments and more moments to laugh, smile and cherish.
