Letter to my baby daddy (2025)

17/10/2024

I thought we would spend our lives together. I knew we had problems. I guess I should have known better. I saw the signs, but I chose to ignore them. I loved you with a fire in my heart that couldn’t be extinguished. No matter what happened, no matter what you did, I loved you with every ounce of my soul. I loved you with a wild abandon only a teenager could muster. I thought that my love for you was enough. Enough to get us through anything. But, I was wrong. Years passed and promises were broken, lies told, hearts broken, but I still loved you. To this day, I love you still. Even though you’ve moved on. It was so easy for you. So easy for you to start over with someone new. I won’t have that chance for a while. See single mothers who have their children 24/7 don’t have the chance to go out and meet new people. Single mothers who work hard to support their children and give them everything they can in life, don’t have time to go on dates. Single mothers aren’t a hot commodity these days. So while you lay in bed with another woman, holding her close. I lay in bed with our son and read him stories. I bathe him every night, put on his pajamas, brush his teeth, and sing ABC’s. When he asks about you, I tell him you love him. Even though your actions say different. Even though, you can only manage to spend a mere day or two a month with him. I could put up with you making me feel like I didn’t matter to you. But the day I knew that you would make him feel that way too, is the day I had to let you go. That was the day I knew you’d never change. You’d never be the selfless, loving father I thought you could be so I had to let you go because I knew you weren’t good for me and we could never be a family.

One day I’ll get the chance to move on. I know God has a plan for my life and I trust him. One day, I’ll get married and have a real family with a man who recognizes my strength and loves me in a way you never could. And I hope one day in the future, it dawns on you just how much I loved you, just how much you lost when you lost me. It’ll take time for me to get over you. It’ll take time to let go of all the hurt and pain. But I forgive you. I forgive you for everything. Not for you, but for me. I know it's cliche, but it's true. It’s time for me to let go of this hurt and resentment. It’s time for me to heal. So I forgive you. I forgive you for lying to me. I forgive you for cheating on me. I forgive you for all the times you shattered my heart into a million pieces. I forgive you for leaving me while I was nine months pregnant to go party with your friends while I called and called and called for days. I forgive you for leaving me with our infant son while you stayed out for days and didn’t come home at night. I forgive you for making me question my worth. I forgive you for the nights I spent crying on the bathroom floor. I forgive you for getting my hopes up every time you promised to change, only to disappoint me once again. I even forgive you for being a terrible father to our son.

My only hope is that one day, our son has the strength and compassion to forgive you too.
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17/10/2024

That was the day I knew you'd never change. You'd never be the selfless, loving father I thought you could be so I had to let you go because I knew you weren't good for me and we could never be a family. One day I'll get the chance to move on. I know God has a plan for my life and I trust him.
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Good morning friends😊

27/05/2024

THINGS I WILL TELL MY KIDS WHEN THEY GET OLDER…

1. If the relationship fails, come home.
2. If the bills become too much, come home.
3. If your mental health gets the best of you, come home.
4. If you ever feel alone, come home.
5. If you mess up, come home.
6. No matter where you are in life, how old are you, you can always come home. My home will forever be your home.

✨✨✨
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18/10/2023

I won’t teach her to hate you, but I’ll let her make her own assumptions about you. Chances are, she won’t feel so fondly about you once she realise how truly disgusting your actions have been.

I’m proud of the child, she is growing up to be, and even more proud of myself for being able to do it on my own. I had my doubts at first, but now I see that this has truly just made me a better parent for our child.I don’t hate you because you gave me a beautiful child, but I have lost all respect for you. Our child looks so much like you, and it kills me every time she shows a side of her personality that is so much like yours.

I hope you don’t consider yourself a real man, because real men don’t walk out on their children. You walked out on the most important responsibility of your life, without any regrets.Father’s Day is always rough for us, but we manage to get through it by celebrating all the other wonderful father figures in our child’s life. Luckily for our child, there are plenty of people in our family that are more than willing and happy to fill your void.I don’t see it as anything that I did wrong. You were simply a coward who didn’t have the courage to stick out the tough times. Yes, things were hard in the beginning, but things are much better now, and I only feel sorry for you because you’re missing out.

Our child will grow up learning how to be a great parent, all because you taught them everything they shouldn’t do. You set a perfect example for all the things she will never grow up to be.

I’ve stopped agonising over you, because you don’t deserve these tears. Crying over you is like letting you win, and I’ve decided that you will no longer have control over my life.

I’ve tried to put myself in your shoes, and to see things from your perspective, but no matter how hard I try, I can never justify a reason for your departure. Nothing you say will ever excuse your actions.

I hope for your future family’s sake, you don’t do the same thing to them that you did to us. While you don’t deserve the happiness that a family can bring you, no one else deserves the pain you’ve left us with.But I’m trying my best, and I know that one day, our child will see how hard I worked to give her the best life I possible could.

Lastly, I hope that one day you look back on your life, and you realise how much you gave up. I hope you realise that despite the hurt you caused us, we will move on and be stronger for it in the end. So thank you, thank you for teaching us how strong we can truly be on our own.

Yours sincerely,

The woman who is raising your child to be someone you aren't. Xx

.😭💔

18/10/2023

Shout out to my newest followers! Excited to have you onboard!

Effie Gonza, Tinyiko Lakhoza Msengi, Ndaba Ndaba Ndaba

17/08/2023

I am writing this letter on behalf of my son and all the other children with absent fathers. I am also writing this letter on behalf of the fathers who do not seem to share the same rights at mothers.

I cannot speak for absent mothers as I have no experience in this, I'm sure there are many out there.

I am a single parent and have been for six years. In that time I have watched my son stand at the window and wait, I have watched him cry, I have listened to him ask where his father is and I have tried to explain to him the best way that I possibly can that he has a family that loves him and cares for him. I have watched him grow and I have watched him fall. I have cleaned up messes and comforted him when he's in pain. I have bought him new clothes and new shoes, I have paid for his school trips and attended concerts, weekly swimming lessons and have taken him to the beach, the park and the movies. I have never asked for money, I have never asked for food, I have never asked for clothing.

When our relationship ended you told me that you would be the best father you could possibly be. Then you disappeared. You float in and out of our son's life when it pleases you and when it's convenient for you. He waits for your calls and he begs to see you. He asks where you are and why you haven't shown up.

The longest period of time you made him wait was six months. Six months of no calls, six months of no contact. He began to stop asking questions. He stopped wondering where you were. Life moved on.

Then you called.

And so it began again. The months you leave between visits destroys him. He doesn't understand why you aren't there for him. He doesn't understand why you say you'll be there only to have you vanish.

He is smart, he is strong, he is funny and he is the light of so many lives. Shouldn't he be the light of your life also? You have missed out on so much, do you even know the name of the school he attends? Or any of his friends? His hobbies or interests? No. Because you aren't here.

For years I've been told to cut you off. To stop you from seeing him. To prevent you from talking to him. And yet I haven't. You are his father, I have no right to deny you your child. Yet the thought crosses my mind every single day. Maybe he would be better off without you. Maybe life for him would be a little less confusing if his father were permanently absent. Do you know why he wants to see you? Because you buy him things. You buy him toys, you buy him McDonald's, you buy his love because if you didn't then he wouldn't want to see you. He loves you for what you give him and not who you are. Imagine how amazing you would feel if he loved you for you? Imagine if you visited him at school, attended his concerts and his swimming lessons. I can already see his face lighting up when you walk through the door. He is 7 years old. He is too young to understand that you are not a good person, that you choose to put yourself and your addiction before him, that you focus on your own needs and your own life before you bother to focus on his.

Your own father walked out on you when you were a child and you vowed never to do the same. Well guess what? You have done exactly that. And you continue to do it because you know I will always give in when you finally reappear. You know I will let you see him and you know that I will let you speak to him. I do this for him. I do not respect you, nor do I care for you. I care for my child and the smile on his face when he hears your voice is the only reason I continue to put up with the pain you cause. At the beginning I tried so hard to put a plan in place. I tried to call you every day, I sent messages, I called your family. I even offered to drop my son off and pick him back up again just so he could spend time with you. It took me years to stop doing this. To realise that no matter how hard I tried it wasn't going to change anything.

I don't tell my son what you're actually like. I don't tell him you're selfish, I don't tell him you're too busy for him and I don't tell him about your addictions. He will realise all of this in his own time. No child deserves to hear one parent putting down the other. That in itself is wrong and will only cause resentment later down the track. I tell him you're working (do you have a job?), I tell him you're away (do you leave your town?), I tell him that you're busy. One day I will tell him the truth. When he is old enough to understand and make up his own mind. He has an incredible support network. He has a mother who cares, a family who is there for him and friends who love him.

Every week I see a new post on Facebook. A new post from a father who isn't able to see his children, a new post from a devastated man who wants for nothing other than to have his children in his life. Selfish mothers who use their children as weapons, selfish mothers who hold their children back because they don't like the new women in their child's father's life. Women who insist on having control over the father even after the relationship has ended. These women have no idea just how lucky they are that their children have a father that cares, a father who actually puts in the effort. Who are you to deny your children a father? Who are you to prevent him from seeing his son or daughter? What gives you the right to play with their lives? Every single child to deserves a father.

Sure, if he's dangerous or irresponsible then I would understand the apprehension. Go to counselling, seek a lawyer, mediation, family intervention. You do whatever you need to do to provide your child with a safe and loving home. Set boundaries in place. But do not deny them just because you're having a bad day. Just because you're upset that he has found someone new. Just because you like having power over him.

If I could have one wish for my son it would be to have a good father. A father who shows up and a father who puts his child before his addictions, before his friends, before his own selfish needs.

Please note not all stories I post here are mine.
I’m just posting for those who can relate to know that they are not alone big ups💞

17/08/2023

I am still surprised by your silence, crushed by the sadness of not being asked my baby's s*x or name and by the solitude of what it means to raise a child alone. I was meaning to ask you this: Does the fact that I chose myself, and I chose freely, rid you of all responsibility? I asked you once, and you wisely didn't respond.
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I’m baaaaack💕
Still care

26/07/2023

I’m back guys kindly please forgive me for disappearing I was furthering my studies so yeah I’m baaack

26/07/2023

Shout out to my newest followers! Excited to have you onboard!

Siphokazi Portia, Conciliar Nalu Sikuka, Junior Mpho Ekk, LonDy Dlåkådlæ, Isher Quate
Thank you guys and welcome to my page

Letter to my baby daddy

17/10/2024

17/10/2024

27/05/2024

18/10/2023

18/10/2023

17/08/2023

17/08/2023

26/07/2023

26/07/2023

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