Letter to my baby daddy

18/10/2023

I won’t teach her to hate you, but I’ll let her make her own assumptions about you. Chances are, she won’t feel so fondly about you once she realise how truly disgusting your actions have been.

I’m proud of the child, she is growing up to be, and even more proud of myself for being able to do it on my own. I had my doubts at first, but now I see that this has truly just made me a better parent for our child.I don’t hate you because you gave me a beautiful child, but I have lost all respect for you. Our child looks so much like you, and it kills me every time she shows a side of her personality that is so much like yours.

I hope you don’t consider yourself a real man, because real men don’t walk out on their children. You walked out on the most important responsibility of your life, without any regrets.Father’s Day is always rough for us, but we manage to get through it by celebrating all the other wonderful father figures in our child’s life. Luckily for our child, there are plenty of people in our family that are more than willing and happy to fill your void.I don’t see it as anything that I did wrong. You were simply a coward who didn’t have the courage to stick out the tough times. Yes, things were hard in the beginning, but things are much better now, and I only feel sorry for you because you’re missing out.

Our child will grow up learning how to be a great parent, all because you taught them everything they shouldn’t do. You set a perfect example for all the things she will never grow up to be.

I’ve stopped agonising over you, because you don’t deserve these tears. Crying over you is like letting you win, and I’ve decided that you will no longer have control over my life.

I’ve tried to put myself in your shoes, and to see things from your perspective, but no matter how hard I try, I can never justify a reason for your departure. Nothing you say will ever excuse your actions.

I hope for your future family’s sake, you don’t do the same thing to them that you did to us. While you don’t deserve the happiness that a family can bring you, no one else deserves the pain you’ve left us with.But I’m trying my best, and I know that one day, our child will see how hard I worked to give her the best life I possible could.

Lastly, I hope that one day you look back on your life, and you realise how much you gave up. I hope you realise that despite the hurt you caused us, we will move on and be stronger for it in the end. So thank you, thank you for teaching us how strong we can truly be on our own.

Yours sincerely,

The woman who is raising your child to be someone you aren't. Xx

.😭💔

17/08/2023

I am writing this letter on behalf of my son and all the other children with absent fathers. I am also writing this letter on behalf of the fathers who do not seem to share the same rights at mothers.

I cannot speak for absent mothers as I have no experience in this, I'm sure there are many out there.

I am a single parent and have been for six years. In that time I have watched my son stand at the window and wait, I have watched him cry, I have listened to him ask where his father is and I have tried to explain to him the best way that I possibly can that he has a family that loves him and cares for him. I have watched him grow and I have watched him fall. I have cleaned up messes and comforted him when he's in pain. I have bought him new clothes and new shoes, I have paid for his school trips and attended concerts, weekly swimming lessons and have taken him to the beach, the park and the movies. I have never asked for money, I have never asked for food, I have never asked for clothing.

When our relationship ended you told me that you would be the best father you could possibly be. Then you disappeared. You float in and out of our son's life when it pleases you and when it's convenient for you. He waits for your calls and he begs to see you. He asks where you are and why you haven't shown up.

The longest period of time you made him wait was six months. Six months of no calls, six months of no contact. He began to stop asking questions. He stopped wondering where you were. Life moved on.

Then you called.

And so it began again. The months you leave between visits destroys him. He doesn't understand why you aren't there for him. He doesn't understand why you say you'll be there only to have you vanish.

He is smart, he is strong, he is funny and he is the light of so many lives. Shouldn't he be the light of your life also? You have missed out on so much, do you even know the name of the school he attends? Or any of his friends? His hobbies or interests? No. Because you aren't here.

For years I've been told to cut you off. To stop you from seeing him. To prevent you from talking to him. And yet I haven't. You are his father, I have no right to deny you your child. Yet the thought crosses my mind every single day. Maybe he would be better off without you. Maybe life for him would be a little less confusing if his father were permanently absent. Do you know why he wants to see you? Because you buy him things. You buy him toys, you buy him McDonald's, you buy his love because if you didn't then he wouldn't want to see you. He loves you for what you give him and not who you are. Imagine how amazing you would feel if he loved you for you? Imagine if you visited him at school, attended his concerts and his swimming lessons. I can already see his face lighting up when you walk through the door. He is 7 years old. He is too young to understand that you are not a good person, that you choose to put yourself and your addiction before him, that you focus on your own needs and your own life before you bother to focus on his.

Your own father walked out on you when you were a child and you vowed never to do the same. Well guess what? You have done exactly that. And you continue to do it because you know I will always give in when you finally reappear. You know I will let you see him and you know that I will let you speak to him. I do this for him. I do not respect you, nor do I care for you. I care for my child and the smile on his face when he hears your voice is the only reason I continue to put up with the pain you cause. At the beginning I tried so hard to put a plan in place. I tried to call you every day, I sent messages, I called your family. I even offered to drop my son off and pick him back up again just so he could spend time with you. It took me years to stop doing this. To realise that no matter how hard I tried it wasn't going to change anything.

I don't tell my son what you're actually like. I don't tell him you're selfish, I don't tell him you're too busy for him and I don't tell him about your addictions. He will realise all of this in his own time. No child deserves to hear one parent putting down the other. That in itself is wrong and will only cause resentment later down the track. I tell him you're working (do you have a job?), I tell him you're away (do you leave your town?), I tell him that you're busy. One day I will tell him the truth. When he is old enough to understand and make up his own mind. He has an incredible support network. He has a mother who cares, a family who is there for him and friends who love him.

Every week I see a new post on Facebook. A new post from a father who isn't able to see his children, a new post from a devastated man who wants for nothing other than to have his children in his life. Selfish mothers who use their children as weapons, selfish mothers who hold their children back because they don't like the new women in their child's father's life. Women who insist on having control over the father even after the relationship has ended. These women have no idea just how lucky they are that their children have a father that cares, a father who actually puts in the effort. Who are you to deny your children a father? Who are you to prevent him from seeing his son or daughter? What gives you the right to play with their lives? Every single child to deserves a father.

Sure, if he's dangerous or irresponsible then I would understand the apprehension. Go to counselling, seek a lawyer, mediation, family intervention. You do whatever you need to do to provide your child with a safe and loving home. Set boundaries in place. But do not deny them just because you're having a bad day. Just because you're upset that he has found someone new. Just because you like having power over him.

If I could have one wish for my son it would be to have a good father. A father who shows up and a father who puts his child before his addictions, before his friends, before his own selfish needs.

Please note not all stories I post here are mine.
I’m just posting for those who can relate to know that they are not alone big ups💞

17/08/2023

I am still surprised by your silence, crushed by the sadness of not being asked my baby's s*x or name and by the solitude of what it means to raise a child alone. I was meaning to ask you this: Does the fact that I chose myself, and I chose freely, rid you of all responsibility? I asked you once, and you wisely didn't respond.
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I’m baaaaack💕
Still care

26/07/2023

I’m back guys kindly please forgive me for disappearing I was furthering my studies so yeah I’m baaack

19/07/2022

12/07/2021

I thought we would spend our lives together. I knew we had problems. I guess I should have known better. I saw the signs, but I chose to ignore them. I loved you with a fire in my heart that couldn’t be extinguished. No matter what happened, no matter what you did, I loved you with every ounce of my soul. I loved you with a wild abandon only a teenager could muster. I thought that my love for you was enough. Enough to get us through anything. But, I was wrong. Years passed and promises were broken, lies told, hearts broken, but I still loved you. To this day, I love you still. Even though you’ve moved on. It was so easy for you. So easy for you to start over with someone new. I won’t have that chance for a while. See single mothers who have their children 24/7 don’t have the chance to go out and meet new people. Single mothers who work hard to support their children and give them everything they can in life, don’t have time to go on dates. Single mothers aren’t a hot commodity these days. So while you lay in bed with another woman, holding her close. I lay in bed with our son and read him stories. I bathe him every night, put on his pajamas, brush his teeth, and sing ABC’s. When he asks about you, I tell him you love him. Even though your actions say different. Even though, you can only manage to spend a mere day or two a month with him. I could put up with you making me feel like I didn’t matter to you. But the day I knew that you would make him feel that way too, is the day I had to let you go. That was the day I knew you’d never change. You’d never be the selfless, loving father I thought you could be so I had to let you go because I knew you weren’t good for me and we could never be a family.

One day I’ll get the chance to move on. I know God has a plan for my life and I trust him. One day, I’ll get married and have a real family with a man who recognizes my strength and loves me in a way you never could. And I hope one day in the future, it dawns on you just how much I loved you, just how much you lost when you lost me. It’ll take time for me to get over you. It’ll take time to let go of all the hurt and pain. But I forgive you. I forgive you for everything. Not for you, but for me. I know it's cliche, but it's true. It’s time for me to let go of this hurt and resentment. It’s time for me to heal. So I forgive you. I forgive you for lying to me. I forgive you for cheating on me. I forgive you for all the times you shattered my heart into a million pieces. I forgive you for leaving me while I was nine months pregnant to go party with your friends while I called and called and called for days. I forgive you for leaving me with our infant son while you stayed out for days and didn’t come home at night. I forgive you for making me question my worth. I forgive you for the nights I spent crying on the bathroom floor. I forgive you for getting my hopes up every time you promised to change, only to disappoint me once again. I even forgive you for being a terrible father to our son.

My only hope is that one day, our son has the strength and compassion to forgive you too
😥💔

02/01/2021

Happy New year
I hope we will focus on growing those babies so well even if we have to do it alone, learn to know that God is with us throughout the way♡
.

01/10/2020

For everyone who's ever had a deadbeat baby daddy how did it make you feel?

29/09/2020

29/09/2020

Being a single mother is twice the work, twice the stress and twice the tears but also twice the hugs,twice the love and twice the pride
.

05/06/2020

No amount of money is worth keeping a parent away from their child

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10/05/2019

yes✊🏾😌 I'm a single parent💕 futhi I'm not ashamed😊
I got pregnant because I had s*x🍆🍑 I carried my baby👼 all months🤰 because I didn't get to choose whose life matters🤱 , Just because I'm young😭 doesn't mean I'm any less of a Mother💕✊🏾
I'm gonna raise this baby🤱 with or without my boyfriend's help😊🤝, And just because I kept❤ the baby doesn't mean "I'm stupid"💛,I did what I knew was good for my womb . Even abortion wasn't an option I'd think about , I'm stronger than those who couldn't handle the pain of having a baby at an early age , I'm gonna raise this Queen of mine till she owns her own Throne If you got anything against my pregnancy, kept it to your Ass . I aint got time to deal with y'all . Not everyone understands the term Responsibility . Even how better life will get, She'll always be the pillar of my strenght to carry on , With Lord, I shall make it.
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28/03/2019

Every Child has all the rights to have both parents.
To our brothers, if you have impregnated a woman and you ran away from them, stop being a coward and be a man enough to be there for your children. Your children are your responsibilities, so do not be that heartless. God is watching you and He will hold you accountable for your children. If my brother you do not want children, do not have s*x period. Splashing money on a child is not fathering but being there and loving them is the real fathering. Do not be afraid of what the Church will say when they see you having children, because God is watching you.
To our sister, if you are not married to a guy, do not sleep with him. We can not continue to have children who the guys have ran away because their cowards. If you already have a child who the father ran away, we are sorry and please be strong, May God help you to raise your kid and grow them in prayer so that God can help them.
Let us think for our children. S*x before marriage is a sin and if you abstain you avoid many bad situations. If a guy leaves let him leave, if he came for your heart, he will stay even if you don't sleep with him. This boys who are full of lust should not be entertained, because they will play on you and leave you broken.
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27/03/2019

Can you carry a 7 and 8 pound baby👶 in your stomach 🤰🏾for 9 months and endure hours of labor pain😣 then have a natural birth or c-section, not to mention bleeding 💉several weeks after birth while taking care of your infant? Can you cook🍳, clean, and talk 🗣on the phone 📱at the same time? Can you bleed 💉for a week and not die💀? Can you cry😢 all night then wake up the next day like everything is okay? 😞💔 Remember guys, women are only helpless til their nail 💅🏾polish dries. 💋👊Put this on your wall if you're proud to be a woman
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27/03/2019

I'm sorry Baby Daddy....
I'm sorry that I made you a father ese nako, I'm sorry that I didn't do an abortion as we have agreed, I believe that this child deserve to live like me and you. I'm sorry if you think ke bile pregnant to trap you or to make you love me, yes I was a fool for having unprotected s*x le wena kesa prevente , I'm sorry, I'm sorry for go jumpisetsa to your other girlfriends ka goba preg. I'm sorry that my pregnancy separated us just because you didn't see a future with me. I'm sorry that our child is born and I named him after your grandfather . I'm sorry that I don't call you to ask for you to support your child, just because are xap ra sokola but we don't need your help ngwana wa gola. I'm sorry.

18/03/2019

Having a kid does not mean you were too weak
to say "no" to boys. It does not make you a
bad person; everyone has s*x. It's nothing to be
ashamed of. Having a baby is never a mistake.
We all have different eye opener in our lives.
Some will be imprisoned in order to approach
life in a responsible way next time.
Some will escape death in order to appreciate
life even more.
Some will fall pregnant in order to realize their
purpose in life. Sometimes it takes parenting
to set your standards in place. On other days
it takes that cute smile on your baby's face to
make you believe in happiness again. Let your
baby daddy runaway, it's fine, life has a funny
way of dealing with such people.
I am extremely proud of you for not giving up.
.

23/02/2019

TO ALL BABY MAMA'S OUT THERE.❤ 🤦🏼‍♂👇🏾It really doesn't matter at what age you fell pregnant.🤰🏼 Having a child doesn't mean you were too weak to say NO🙅🏾 to boys💔😿 . It doesn't mean you love s*x👙🍆💦💋 . You shouldn't feel ashamed😔 to walk on the street🚶🏽‍♀..🚶🏽‍♀. ... We all have different opener in our lives❤💙💜 . I know that pregnancy🤰🏼 appears to be a surprise😱, an incident😵, a mistake 😣but none fits🤚🏾😅 . She/He is your bundle of joy😊😍, your blessing👼🏽 . Believe me when I say your a blessed❤🤗 one. Leave the baby daddy 🤚🏾🏃🏻🏃🏻...run away, it's fine. His A Coward I know💔 Real man would take Responsibility 💞 all people understand the term Responsibility . A mature soulmate will walk into your life😊, Love ❤you and your child 👼🏽like his very own . Forget about those friends🤚🏾🚮 who are now enemies😅. who tease😔 you because you've gained weight💔 and hav a pot belly😿. Maybe they think life is about flat stomach's😏, and no stretch marks♒....you are not a loser🙅🏾. In fact you are a blessed💁🏽 soul❤ because God trusted you with a child 👼🏽and you never aborted😚. I salute you girl ☺. God bless you more🌹 Please Share if you felt Touched deep inside... let's spread the message to all beautiful baby mamas out here We love❤ you.

08/02/2019

Dear Fathers/Baby daddy
Your Kids don't eat Excuses when they r hungry pls pay Maintenance
.

03/02/2019

Shes a queen with or without you.

28/01/2019

Here lies a letter I hope you'll see someday, a letter that I've written a million times in my head and I've already tied it with a ribbon and I've delivered it to your doorstep but merely in my dreams and fantasies. This is a letter I hope you'll somehow magically find in your pocket, a letter that would miraculously appear on your screen, and it's a letter written to a boy I thought was different, a boy I loved for a brief moment, it's a letter to a boy who somehow managed to do the impossible because I found myself giving you a chance, I found myself walking on broken glass just to get to you, and it was all in vain because I tore all of my skin away, and I showed you me. I showed you my lights, my darkness's, my edges, my flaws, my insecurities, my perfections, my pain but most of all I showed you my smile, a smile you destroyed the day you left and I guess you're the last person to have it.
This is a letter written to you and these are the things I wish I had the guts to tell you that day, these are the things I'd never had the guts nor the stupidity to say in your face for I'm too scared to see you walk away and pretend like you didn't hear a thing, and I'll admit that you really broke my heart, I won't lie and pretend as if I didn't cry because I did, I cried but not only because I loved you, but because I believed in you, somehow I thought you were different. I thought it was real only to find out the only thing true was lies and decent and it really hurt me to let go of you because it meant letting go of the dreams I had for us two, in my mind I had already picked the houses, the names, the fights and the everything but you chose to take it all away, and I just want you to tell me why.
All I want are the answers to all my questions, like did you even care? Was it something I said, something he said, something you said or something we said because I deserve to know the whole truth. You said you cared, you said you dreamt and you said you loved so tell me why did you lie about it all? Was it ever real? Did you even give a s**t? If not, they why did you bother? Like do you know how many doubts I had to erase? How many tears I cried? Do you even know how your disappointments broke me? Do you know how many dreams I had to let go and how many wounds I had to heal just because of you? I gave you my heart, the same one you promised you wouldn't break, but you did, you ripped it all apart and you became it's architect.
But I'll give you the honours and I'll applaud every lie you ever told me and I'll kiss it, I'll cleanse it, I'll hang it, I'll cherish it, I'll loath it, I'll love it, and I'll remember it because it was a sad tragic, yet it was also beautiful because the feeling you felt for her was real, and the feeling I felt for you was for real but you loved her and I couldn't make you forget because your heart wanted what it wanted.
We used to talk till morning, we used to wake to each other's love but I guess thats what hurts me the most, the fact that all these words are now in past tense and there's no going back in time, because time gives then it also takes and when it takes, it leaves you broken, it leaves you crying, dreaming, hurting, bleeding, regretting and then months later you plead for it to erase the memories it gave you and I waited for time to erase you, but I still remember your name, I still remember your star sign and I still remember the night you called me Taylor Swift, and I still remember the feeling you gave me and it was priceless, it was magical, it was rare, it was beautiful and it was delicate but I watched it fade, and I watched it disappear the day you left me.
My love, or should I call his love? This is a letter that I hope will make it's way to you someday, and I just wanted to let you know that I'm jealous of your happiness. I hate you and I'm jealous of how you are happy without me because...well, because I still love you

01/12/2018

I don't know who's Baby Daddy needs to hear this
But your Baby Mama is goin to Shine,With or without you
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