grievemealone

25/03/2021

A YOGA WORKSHOP FOR GRIEVERS. 💛
Register today... taplink.cc/grievemealone
There are still some spaces left.

23/02/2021

I'm so proud of my friend-turned-family Aaron Burch for giving a voice to grief and sharing his story which is so beyond impactful. Profound words that I can't get out of my head. He's absolutely right. Please watch. Please sit with the reality we're in. Please hold space for the very real excruciating pain Aaron and his family feel. Please share his story.

03/10/2020

Max lets me know when we're low on water 💦

23/09/2020

20/09/2020

GMA is in the HC! 😭💛🗞️ I was crying already but now I'm crying a little more Houston Chronicle https://www.houstonchronicle.com/opinion/outlook/article/Essay-You-Can-t-Hug-a-Laptop-Grieving-15580106.php

Losing a loved one right now is even harder without in-person support. But in times of crisis you take what you can get.

13/08/2020

Chantal King's project grievemealone aims to help people express grief in honest and open ways. She has a powerful story, and an even more powerful message.

"Never will I ever look at the numbers of humans lost to this virus and carry that around on my conscience. I will know without a doubt that I had taken every necessary action even albeit overly precautious to ensure I do not leave this planet with blood on my hands."

www.makegoodtogether.com/stories/chantal-king

Make the promise alongside Chantal and others, to be a leader within your social circle to annihilate COVID-19.

Being a positive role-model through your behavior and actions is one of the most impactful and immediate things you can do as a human.

The world literally is depending on you.

13/08/2020

Please take the time to listen to my friend Aaron

https://youtu.be/v9N84Yt3gWI

Aaron Burch lost his mom to the coronavirus pandemic. When you don't wear a mask, or you don't social distance, you are making a choice not only for yourself...

20/05/2020

Why are deathiversarys so significant? There's something holy about living through a day you never thought you could live through. A day when you feel your heart break inside your chest and shatter so much it turns to sand. And not just some ordinary heartbreak. It's a day you feel your soul screaming out in pain as if your soul is also dying. EVERYTHING hurts. And you don't even know how you are still breathing, blinking, moving when you've cried more tears than there are drops in the oceans.Those who have lost someone close to them know exactly what I'm talking about. And if you haven't endured that type of loss, I pray you never have to. But what about ordinary days? Well, any day you live through when you least expect it becomes holy.I can't get my mind around how I've somehow endured this much time without chambers of my heart and sometimes I just want time to stop moving forward because I don't want to get through another day without them. I don't want to risk forgetting more, I don't want to go through more life without them right by my side, cheering me on, laughing with me, holding me when I cry. When your world turns upside down and inside out, you don't yet know at the beginning how cruel and painful it feels to not only lose one of the most important people in your life, but then to have to navigate the soul-stabbing grief without the person you want most by your side. Today is a stay-in-bed-all-day kinda day. Sometimes my grief doesn't always look like this.. Sometimes I can get up, show up, get through the day, and even plaster a smile on my face. But today is not that day. Today my grief requires my attention. Today my grief demands isolation.
There's only so many photos we get of our people we lose. Photos that I pick up and cycle through when I need to remember they were real. I don't get any more photos of them or with them. I don't get to see the me I am now beside them. I don't get to make any new memories with my dead. I don't care how much time has passed. No amount of time fills the gap that is left behind. Today is a day to honor that gap in my heart and soul and in this world without them. Just an ordinary Wednesday that feels impossible

19/05/2020

I went to my own funeral I just didn't know at the time it was for me.
I said goodbye not realizing the farewell was to myself, the me I'll never be.

17/05/2020

Y'all! 😭 I just got an email and I am feeling all types of honored and blown away to have something I wrote now up on www.lifedeathwhatever.com

Would you consider giving it a read, helping me to share and educate others, and also go explore what other amazing things has on their site and page for us grieving gladiators to relate to?

Thanks again Louise & Anna for sharing my "Five Things", for all you do, all your work, and all you're contributing to the world.
I need you. The world needs you.

PS. If you need me, I'm just gonna be curled up in this sick grief ball, crying, and trusting that the universe isn't actually out to smite me.

**kcancer

08/05/2020

*IMPORTANT*
This Sunday is Mother's Day. A day that is intended for celebration and honor but for so many is a day of dread because it reminds us of our pain. Pain we carry with us everyday but seems to get highlighted even more so on days where there are cards and emails and I gift idea ads everywhere we turn.
Mother and everything that word touches...
Myself, it'll be my first Mother's day without my mom. The other night, my dear friend Michelle reached out to me and proposed an idea so we're collaborating on this together. We want to invite you to join us for a day of ReMOMbrance. Sunday May 10th. Let's take time to honor those we've lost, those we know who've endured loss, and those who carry grief a little more heavily on Mother's day.
Babies without their Moms. Moms without their babies. Moms who can't remember who they are or that they're moms. Infertility. Miscarriage. Abortion. Adoption. Death. Dementia. Stroke. Abandonment. Addiction. Moms. Daughters. Grandmas. Dads that were more like moms. Widows. Sisters. Sons. Friends. Brothers. Fathers. Grandpas. Siblings. Aunts. Cousins. Nieces. Nephews. Uncles. Step family. In laws. Everyone with a heavy heart qualifies. There are no exceptions. If you are or if you know someone who qualifies, light a candle or turn on a lamp or build a campfire in honor of those you love. Let's light up the sky in honor of those that feel like Mother's day is a dark day. You can type their names below. You can share with us your memories. You can tag people you know too including people you want to honor that day. You can share on your stories. You can send pictures of your candles or lights and please tag us & & include the hashtag



All grief is valid and welcome and worthy of acknowledgement and honor.
It's one way you can show love, empathy, and acknowledgment of another's grief on a day that not everyone will be smiling. It's one way you can honor your own grief.

Who will your light be for?
Say their name.👇

07/05/2020

empathy matters.
well, to me, it does.

ps.
this summer, I'm mostly gonna be rocking the s**t out of this baby blue tee with my mustard yellow shorts, a sweet iced tea, and re-reading Drunvalo Melchizedek in my backyard under a burnt orange patio umbrella...just so you know.

06/05/2020

6 months today 💔
It was Alex's Senior Picture Day at school and I wanted us to have a photo with Mom on that special day.
Shortly after this photo, things turned for the worse. I can't really write more about it today but I'm so grateful we have this picture with her. I hate that I didn't look close enough to see that would be our last evening with her. I'm intuitive but I hate I wasn't intuitive enough to know what was real and what was fear.
I don't think you'll hear from me anymore today... I'm already so tired. My body remembers everything and it's running through memories like an old cassette tape. Glitching, Scenes slipping by, and the audio is fu**ed. I can't remember what everyone says, what I say, what wasn't said.
So thank you for the love, thank you for your empathy, and for those that wanna reach out, here's my email... [email protected]
I'll read and reply when I have it in me.
Whoever you can safely hug, please hug them extra hard and pretend it's me. Maybe I'll pick up on it and feel it however far away.
Until tomorrow, I'll try to hold on to what I can, and breathe through the salt water, and cling to whatever hands are nearest me in this ocean. The sea is terrifying. The storm is here.
Both literally and figuratively.
And I wish I could walk on water so I could run far away from here.

Momma,
I fu***ng miss you. We miss you. We feel your absence every single fu***ng moment of every single day. I'm sorry I somehow carried on without you. I know you always said you wished we were always together. I'm so fu**in sorry I can't be with you right now. I hate that my love wasn't strong enough to save you.
Love,
Tal

03/05/2020

MAY YOUR ANGELS BE WITH YOU ALWAYS🦋
MAY'S DROP / SHOP UPDATE
NOW AVAILABLE!
*LINK IN BIO*
GO TO GRIEVEMEALONE.COM
CLICK SHOP NOW

03/05/2020

You and I.
By Chantal King.

19/01/2020

To all of us who remain
From all who have gone before us

(This poured out of me this morning, before the sunrise, right after I deliriously did some yoga by the panoramic windows of this Airbnb lake house.)

18/01/2020

My cutie patootie baby brother in his GMA apparel! 💚

Want your own?
Hit up the shop! *Link in Bio*

You can hear Zacharoni share some real thoughts on grief (along with myself & Alex aka Jesse Pinkman) on Grieve Me Alone's Podcast!
Episode 7: The 7-Layer Grief Dip
Available on so many platforms including Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Anchor, & so much more.

**k **ksgiven #

15/01/2020

Momma's Watch 💛

14/01/2020

I FU***NG MISS YOU, MOM.💔

**k

11/01/2020

Grieve Me Alone Podcast is now on pretty much everything, including Apple Podcasts!

I make no promises this will be a podcast you'll love. Only you get to determine that.

I can guarantee it's a podcast that was made from a non-podcaster (that's me) less than a month out of losing her mom (that's mom), and it all began on my closet floor.

Grief might not be your jam, but if it is, you butter check it out or you'll be toast.

(Can you tell how tired I am? I can tell you I can't remember the last time I had a good night's rest)

11/01/2020

The love that led me here 💛

11/01/2020

I bookended my drive to and from work with sobbing.
I tried to catch by breath, to try to pull myself back enough to see through burning eyes to finish driving home while still seeing flashes of my dying mom. Don't forget these thoughts and memories: Luby's & the food poisoning that interfered with me taking Mom to that one radiation appt, Herradura+Lindsey= now Mom, 16 year old me fighting with Mom, when I yelled at her to leave my Dad and she slapped me & I got out of the car and stormed off, holding hands on our drive home from an appointment, her excitingly telling me she was taking me to see Brandon Bennett as an early birthday gift, her ignoring me in his presence because she was a smitten kitten for a dude about my age, sitting in chairs while she was humming a hymn after we got news the large mass in her lung was gone, sitting beside her on her bed, wiping fluids from her face with my snotty kleenex as she was dying, dressing her for the very last time, watching Astro's in hospital rooms and listening to the game in an ambulance, holding her close in both ambulance rides, praying desperately in the bathroom at the ER for God to please just let me keep her for one more day, begging for God to bring Mom back from cardiac arrest so she wouldn't have to die in that room alone, telling Brian to pray for Mom as her heartbeat lessened, the prayer ending, Mom taking her last breath, my face next to hers, "it's ok mom, I love you, it's ok, I'll clean you up, it's ok, I love you...", curling up on the bed with her, listening to her empty chest, taking off her socks and kissing her feet, memorizing her toes, the tall man coming to get mom, running to the bathroom in the ICU waiting area, weeping, puking, & peeing on myself as the tall man took away mom's body, wailing like a wild animal on the ride home, part of my soul dying and going with her.

10/01/2020

When my people were here those first several days after Mom died, my besties and brother put away the Mount Everest of laundry that had piled high over the 6+ weeks prior when me and Mike were taking turns being at the hospital with Mom.

While hanging clothes, my bestie Emily remarked that she loved how I lived in clothes that were basically pajamas.
What can I say?
I like me some oversized, comfy, wear-around-the-world- like-it's-a-forever-Sunday-morning sweaters.

And it might've been the same night, but sometime around then, my dear friend Nikki brought me the fluffiest blanket and pillow and socks, that I actually live in when I'm at home. I didn't know until that very moment how much I needed all the fluffy things in my life...
How my GRIEF required it, requested it, welcomed it. But Nikki knew.

So as the first Christmas without Mom approached, a conversation close to this took place:

"What would you like for Christmas🤔?"
"Mom🙄."
"Right, of course, but maybe something I can actually get for you🤷‍♂️."
"Umm...😳 I suppose you could go dig her up for me."
"😲."
"Just kidding😬."
"Thank God😓."
"Well, since I can't have Mom...Maybe just all the fluffy things🤷‍♀️???"

So, I got all the fluffy things and now I practically live in oversized, comfy, fluffy-pajamas-I-can-wear-to-work-but-really-I-can-wear-and-do-whatever-the-hell-I-want-whenever-wherever-because-my-mom-just-died-so-lay-the-f**k-off-me sweaters all the livelong days.

Let the record show that I'd still rather have Mom.

07/01/2020

"I always got your back"
A Soulmate's Pact
1983-2019 // Chantal & Emma
♾️-♾️ // 💛✨

07/01/2020

Mom,
You didn't know I snuck this picture of you. I took it while I was snuggled up on the cot next to you. I loved adoring you when you didn't know I was even paying attention. I'd glance over at you and smile while you were sleeping, I'd sneak a peek when you were trying to organize things with your left hand to see if the task required my assistance. I can still see you sitting on the edge of your bed, where I'm lying right now, it's burned in my mind, and I'm hoping it stays this way forever.
I didn't know I could look at you the way I looked at my son the first time we met, or the way I looked into my husband's eyes when I knew I had found my way to love. But I did. I loved you so deeply I fell in love with you. You were my first thought in the morning, and the last thing that crossed my mind before I closed my eyes. This world fu**in sucks without you in it. I miss the physical channeling of your love. I am begging and praying and pleading that one day I can feel your love blanket the sky, cover the world, reach out past the stars. I need to feel your love and I need it to be bigger than what I've known before, so I know it's you. I miss you, momma. Two months without you feel like two lifetimes. I hope we get to be together again, whether it be in heaven or another life. I claim that I am yours and you are mine.
I'm gonna love you
Forever and ever, Amen.

Love,
Tal

07/01/2020

Once upon a time, I wrote these words.
Reading it today as though Mom speaks to me.

05/01/2020

Gold helped me write this.
& Fatigue.

05/01/2020

It's 49 degrees in H-town this morning and here I sit listening to the diverse chirps in nearby trees, sipping on my morning latte.
I've lost count of how many times it's felt like the wind touched me, tugging on my pajamas, tapping the top of my head. These patio chairs are arranged in the same way they were the day of my mom's funeral.
When I stepped outside this morning, I first noticed a moth, Kath.
Next, I caught sight of a tiny bird staring at me through the brush, Linds.
Then like clockwork, a breeze pushed the dewdrops down the umbrella until they reached me and all the while I took notice of the mustard yellow beginnings of new palm, Mom.
And here I sit, beside three empty chairs, maybe not so empty after all.

05/01/2020

Ever lose someone you love, have people show up for you right after, assure you they'll be there for the long haul, then they disappear?

Yeah, me too.

We tend to lose more living people after we lose our dead loved ones, which then packs on more grief to our initial grief.

04/01/2020

Grief doesn't always look like crying.
It can look like laughing, numbing, zoning out, distracting, bouts of frustration, rage, peace, eating, not eating, sleeping, not sleeping, keeping busy, keeping score, isolating, going out, counting blessings, counting regrets, counting calories, exercising, couch potatoing, silence, burn-out, short fuses, long-winded rants, deep cleaning, avoiding, ignoring, forgetting, remembering everything, drinking, smoking, caffeinating, obsessive replaying, and dare I say it... joy.
It can look like so much more than this.

Don't assume someone's not in the thick of grief just because they are not actively sobbing in your presence.

02/01/2020

*Link in Bio*
'Tis the year for better sweaters!

2020 // I'm declaring this the year I no longer apologize to the world for wearing my grief!

I'm not ashamed of being a human who's experienced life-changing loss. I refuse to feel worse for already feeling terrible because the world doesn't know how to behave around grief. I'm going to boldly live in oversized comfy sweaters that put my grief out there in your face because let's face it, it's already there and obvious as it is, and if you feel uncomfortable with that, look within... Because it's not about me.

You want a sweater for yourself? Or for a friend? Or for someone you love who is thick in grief, like me?

Check out our store!
More colors and designs available & even more soon to come!

02/01/2020

I like to hold onto the things I write to later revisit. I am one of my greatest teachers as well.
Shared these words with my new friend .

01/01/2020

Just some wise words I heard a wise woman once say...
She sounded a lot like me.

Episode 7: 7-Layer Grief Dip
Grieve Me Alone Podcast

**k