Katalyst (2025)

02/05/2024

Minamaliit ko sarili ko.

👉 I make myself smaller so that I don't scare people away.
👉 I quiet down and try to be the last person to talk.
👉 I dress simply so that I don't grab attention.

and yet somehow, I still get told:
💥 "Your outfits are aggressively forward."
💥 "You're intense in how you show up and speak."
💥 "You're crazy!"

And my face like: 👁👄👁

All my efforts to be smaller and you're still saying that I take up that much space? 🤨

I got so frustrated with diminishing myself that I didn't realize that it was because I learned it was unsafe for me to be big. 🥲

So I judged myself for being the way I am - as if how I expressed myself was wrong in and of itself.

but if so many people love me as I am, then why did I struggle in loving me too? 😭

But I guess "You can't read the label from inside the bottle."

So maybe, I can start trusting the way my loved ones see me.
And slowly, I can start taking up space confidently once more. 🥰

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Hey, I'm Kat, and I share my life and lessons as a Recovering Burnt Out Achiever over at my newsletter, Sunday Sparks.
Come join in for FREE here: https://bit.ly/KatalystSparks

29/04/2024

I was never good at posing in front of a camera. 🙈
I had stage fright and I was scared of how I'd be seen. Or worse, perceived.

I had a carefully crafted image of myself that I would always step into in front of an audience.

"What if they see through its' cracks?"
This translated to my stiff poses and how obvious it'd be how self-conscious and in my head I was in front of a crowd. 😫

I thought every one would judge my every move, every small detail and think how I'd never measure up to this certain standard.

I eventually realized that in thinking like this, people will never see me for me, but only as the person I present myself to be.

And it's so sad pala to think that way. It means that I will never have true relationships based on who I really am. ☹️

Because of this, I slowly started to get to know who I am and what I enjoy outside of what I'd like people to think of me. It took a lot of crying HAHAHA

In the process, I've lost many connections and I was brought to different places than where I thought I'd be.

💖 But I gained people who SEE ME for ME.
💖 I am in situations where my strengths and desires are valued for what they are.
💖 I am loved as I am, just as I am.

So now I get to pose freely. I get to smile freely.
I know who I am showing up as in front of the camera, and I now get to do it as myself, without the need to perform. 💅

Sana ikaw rin. 🌟

26/04/2024

“Kat, I read your newsletter - I don’t want to read it na during work. Lagi mo akong pinapaiyak 😭"

Little did this person know that that’s my personal measure for impact with my newsletters. 💌

I LIKE TO MAKE PEOPLE CRY! HAHAHA

But not in a way that hurts them. In a way that allows them to finally admit what they've been scared to admit to themselves - whatever that may be, and highlight a new possibility for them.

I believe it's cause I'm a challenger. So when I have conversations with people, they almost always tear up. 🥹

I know it’s because these people are so tired of holding it all together, waiting for someone to tell them that it’s ok to put it down sometimes, that world isn’t going to end if you do so.

I know.
Because I was once there too.

Now I love sharing the process I went through in the mission of helping others recognize that achievement doesn’t have to come at the cost of yourself. 🫶

I’d actually been scared of launching my newsletter because I was afraid of being vulnerable and I felt like people already knew what I share. 😥
But I still pushed through.

In the last 2 weeks, I’ve consistently gotten a 62% open rate for more than 100 subscribers in my list. ✨

I’d like to say that’s a step closer to bringing my mission to life.

It all started by embracing all the chapters of my journey and the little things that make me my weird crazy self.

My life is my message. 💖

Your life is your message too.
When are you going to start showing up for that? You never know how much you’re going to impact someone until you do.
I believe in you! 🤗

Check out the link in bio to get access to Sunday Sparks! 🌟

24/04/2024

IT'S RAAAAWWWW!!! 🔥🔥🔥

Gordon's famous for his rage in the kitchen. It IS called Hell's Kitchen after all.

How about you? When was the last time you were raging and ANGRY?
Has it been a while? Or just yesterday?

Either way, did you enjoy it?

🚫 We often demonize anger writing it off as destructive.
🚫 We dismiss anger boxing it in as someone out of control.
🚫 We repress anger thinking it is an emotion that hurts.

But in reality, anger shows up when we feel the need to protect ourselves from a threat.

We come to believe that anger is destructive and unhealthy, especially because of our influences growing up.

😡 We see it in Pinoy Dramas where anger is used as an emotion to control and to invalidate someone else’s perspective.

😡 We see this in our online culture where trolls are prominent to set off people’s emotions and shape the narrative.

😡 We talk about controlling our anger, writing someone angry off, and ultimately just minimizing it to avoid conversations about it because… It feels like such a touchy subject and we don’t want to set someone off.

But there are actually many forms of anger.
And underneath it all, anger comes out because we feel that we are threatened, violated, or feel powerless to change some thing.

Your anger is a signal of unmet needs.
Your anger loves you.
Your anger is telling you something.

Are you listening?

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Want more of this? Check out weekly articles delivered straight to your inbox about business, psychology and life every week in my Sunday Sparks newsletter.

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13/03/2024

The scariest place to be in is the same place as last year.

I recently did my monthly review to assess my progress and I noticed something alarming.

It was the same old story: the SAME frustrations, SAME 1% improvements and SAME goals as 30 days ago.

NGYEK. No wonder the nagging feeling that I wasn’t doing anything was so loud right before I’d sleep. Nothing had changed in 30 days!

I wrote the various plans and systems to change and that “I am committed to taking action.”

Despite this commitment, the pattern persisted. Over the next 2 weeks, I still found myself hesitating. I’d miss out on trade after trade, on certain opportunities and I still tell myself “It’s ok. There’s still another opportunity. There’s still next time.”

Until it got to the point where I predicted a trade, hesitated on taking it, and watched it TP right before my eyes, all frustrated.

Why do I keep allowing myself to miss out?

Turns out, I’d been procrastinating on my goals pala. And since procrastination’s not an issue of time management, but fear, I asked - what am I afraid of now?

Fear of success.

Ding ding ding! Here we go again.

There were 3 key events in the last 3 months that my brain condemned as failures and it triggered my old belief system:

1️⃣ “The higher the successes I get, the bigger the failures.”

2️⃣ “I'm afraid of enjoying the journey again so much then for things not to fall through according to my plans, that it's better for me to just stay small.”

3️⃣ “I’m afraid that the thing I am so proud of creating would fail again.”

Then, it all clicked:

💥 Why I was procrastinating
💥 Why I’ve been trying to fill my days with seemingly busy activities
💥 Why I’ve been frustrated with all the missed opportunities.

I was trying to justify my existence once again with the things that I’m able to accomplish, as if my existence as myself isn't enough.

Amidst this frustration and self-doubt, I know that’s not what I believed anymore. My worth is no longer defined by my achievements. That’s only a fraction of my identity.

I’m reminded of my own message - how to divorce your high achiever identity.

Divorcing your high achiever identity - the thought that you are only valuable because of what you’re able to do - is a lifelong process.

But ultimately, it’s about learning how to be safe in yourself so that you can realize you’re not boxed in the narratives that you’ve been conditioned to carry and evolve towards a more authentic you.

Ultimately, gaining a new fuel for achievement - one defined by freedom, love and authenticity instead of anger, proving and burnout.

How about you? In what ways have you been procrastinating your successes and have you been able to unearth what you’re afraid of?

If not yet, send me a PM! I still have 3 slots for my Achiever Recovery program where I help high achievers transform their fuel for achievement from anger, proving and burnout to a more sustainable fuel of love, freedom and authenticity.

06/03/2024

“In order to be successful, to truly have what you want in your life, you must stop waiting to be told what to do and how to do it.

🔥Your goals.

🔥Your decisions.

🔥Your commitment.

If you can’t see the end result, how can anyone else see it for you?”

I recently picked up this book called Relentless by Tim Grover.

Let me tell you - this book has validated my experience as a high achiever more than any book I’ve read so far.

He described Relentlessness as
”demanding more of yourself than anyone else could ever demand of you, knowing that every time you stop, you can still do more.” 💪

This perfectly encapsulates how my blockmate once described me.

💬 “Kat, you’re like a roaring train. If there’s a door in front of you, you’re just going to break it down.”

I felt bad the first time I heard it. I thought it was a bad thing. I’d often find myself in spaces where I lowered myself, my standards just so others could also keep up.

Otherwise they’d call me intimidating, too much, too demanding.

It was scary. I didn’t want to be ostracized. 🙈

But whenever I tried to chill out, it was just not IT for me. I’d get all antsy and itching to do something more. I knew I was lowering my standards for performance and I was not happy about it.

This book just gave me the confidence I needed to give myself permission to be just that. No apologies. No fear.

So throw out all the versions of Kat that you’ve met so far.

Because now, I want to be relentless.

Let me introduce myself again.

👋 Hi! I’m Kat.
I’m a Relentless Activator that enables emotional clarity for high achievers to thrive beyond burnout by divorcing their high achiever identity.

If this sounds right up your alley, let’s connect! 💖

21/02/2024

"Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about making yourself smaller." - Marianne Williamson

16/02/2024

I love talking to Eldest siblings, Achievers and Analysts!! 📊

I love it because it’s an immediate connection to being type A, responsible, dependable…

And also feeling…

😰 The pressure to get it right
😰 The paralyzing fear of failing
😰 The crushing weight of disappointing those we care about

After all, we grew up learning that if we don’t manage to keep it all together, we’re a **failure**. And so rarely, do we change our minds about things, and we stick things out and test and learn to ensure that we get things RIGHT!

Because Annie Duke says in Quit:

“If you abandon a belief, that is the moment **you admit you were mistaken.** If you set out on a course of action and change your mind, that’s **when you go from “failing” to “having failed.”** And if you failed, doesn’t that mean you made a mistake to start in the first place?”

That’s why it’s so terrifying to change, especially for people like us. Because change requires the humility to admit that you were wrong. And when we admit we’re wrong, we have no idea the consequences that’s going to happen next. After all, we “should have known better.”

As the Ate/Kuya, Achiever, Analyst - **I should have planned for this better.**

But that’s the thing, we’re never going to know any better. We’re never going to know any more. We’re not God.

Yet, in the quest to be the best, we fall into the perfectionism trap.

But perfectionism is actually the pursuit of the worst in ourselves, the part that tells us that nothing we do will ever be good enough. (The Artist’s Way, Julie Cameron)

So we’re constantly researching for more information, always seeing new mistakes to patch up and correct, always moving, moving, moving onto the next new thing.

The best we can do is to decide with what we have and roll with the punches. That’s what makes US the decision maker for our own lives. We live and die by our decision.

Albeit terrifying, we live, we learn and we do better. 🫡

So if you’re an eldest sibling, achiever or analyst who’s in transition to figuring themselves out, send me a PM!
I’m accepting 5 more slots for my Achiever Burnout Recovery Program and let’s see if it’s a fit to work together 🌟

17/01/2024

You’ve got to train your mind to be stronger than your feelings or else you’ll lose yourself every time.

Trust me, doing this is a daily battle.

There are so many days where I wonder why I couldnt just have chosen the easier path.

It was literally a battle as one half of me would beat me down with doubt and fear about what I was doing, and the other half was validating me and reframing the statement the other me would say.

Like that scene in the song The Ultimate Deception in the Journey to Bethlehem where Joseph was having an internal battle about his feelings towards Mary!! (omg fave movie musical lately!!)

Eventually it reminded me of what I learned from a podcast the other day:

🔥 Preparing to do the thing isn't doing the thing.
🔥 Scheduling time to do the thing isn't doing the thing.
🔥 Making a to-do list for the thing isn't doing the thing.
🔥 Telling people you're going to do the thing isn't doing the thing.

🔥The only thing that is doing the thing is DOING THE THING. 🔥

And beating myself up and trying to correct my emotion was also NOT DOING THE THING.

So I shifted it. Ok, fine, I still feel badly, but I’m gonna put on my big girl pants and do the thing.

I picked myself up and I did the thing.

The next thing I knew, I found myself in momentum, in flow and wondering why I was feeling badly in the first place.

Ultimately, it's our choice that determines the end.

What about you? How are you training your mind to become stronger than your emotions?

Read the full post and join in on this discussion at The Katalyst Circle - where we expand perspectives, ask the tough questions, and discover unconventional answers towards an unconventional life.

15/01/2024

It was never about if you were capable enough, it was always about whether you liked it enough.

One of the funniest things I noticed is that the people I attract as my coaching clients tend to be achievers, even if they're not aware they are.

They're constantly wondering if they're enough, downplaying the successes that they've achieved, and thinking if there is something more they can be doing.

This can be surprising to some. Because these achievers, seem to have it all - the money, the societal acceptance, the success. "They seem to be at a state where they know what they're doing."

But, hidden behind all these, they're actually:

🏃 Always looking for the next thing to improve on

🏃 always seeing new mistakes to patch up and correct

🏃 always moving, moving, moving onto the next new thing.

As a society, we are conditioned to accept and reward this. After all it's what gets things done.

We always say that we must be growing or improving daily. We praise people for doing things beyond what is expected. And we come to expect consistent levels of output and successes.

Thus, becoming a never ending pursuit of the impossible - perfection.

"Perfectionism, is not a quest for the best. It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves, the part that tells us that nothing we do will ever be good enough - that we should try again." - Julie Cameron, the Artist's Way

It is the constant repairing of what we have deemed to be broken, wrong, or a failure - our humanity.

Hence, we learn that emotions are unsafe, resting is not allowed, and ruthless rationality is king.

Achievers learn to betray themselves, their likes, and their humanity hoping that one day they will be enough to just....

Be human.

🤔 If I do this, THEN I will have more money.

🤔 If I do this, THEN I will have control.

🤔 If I do this, THEN I will be free.

But finding the solution in a material thing doesn't solve the problem. It in fact just snowballs onto the next thing that the achiever will latch on to. And the cycle repeats itself until the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of making the change.

Only then, we come to realize that all that we've known to be right doesn't work anymore and finally do all the necessary changes to confront all that hurts.

And most people never do this, simply because it hurts.

But my dear, if you only looked at yourself through the eyes of another, you'd discover just how impressive what you do and who you are is. 🤩

No one else will be able to accomplish or do anything you have done, simply because they are not you.

And once you see yourself for all that you are, I hope that you fall in love with yourself.

And all the wonderful things that make you human.

You only have one life, why would you like to spend it proving to others that you are good enough?

I think you're plenty good and capable enough.

My challenge is - do YOU like it enough? If no, then why do it?

I hope you spend 2024 with the things that you like and bring you joy. The power's in your hands. It's your choice. 🌟

*Photo from LA Japan trip in Tokyo DisneySea as we rediscovered our inner children hahaha

10/01/2024

"I gave up a lot to have this life of mine. My lifestyle comes at a high price that people don't really appreciate." a client told me on our final coaching session.

I met her at a time where she recently walked away from a job that many people would die for, struggling with her ForEx trading journey and felt like every decision she makes needs a proper ROI before she takes them. She felt so far from where she wanted to be. And because of her past experiences, she felt that she couldn't fail to make any wrong moves with her life.

3 months later, and her conclusion with her life is...
"I'm finally here. The future me I wanted to become is so much nearer than I thought. "

And where's "here"? 🧐

It's waking up without an alarm, savoring the sunset daily, trading the forex market confidently, feeling peace with her choices.

Because, in the end, it's her life to shape. It's her definition of success to follow through with.

Her words made me pause and consider my own journey, as I'd recently been questioning where I stand today compared to where I thought I'd be by now.

But recalling all I gave up to get here – the paths I rejected, the consequences I faced, the tradeoffs I chose – has shaped who I've become.

I may not be where I expected, but these experiences have transformed me into someone I never imagined.
I'm meeting a new part of myself every step of the way and that makes the pursuit of my goals all the more rewarding.

How about you? What significant tradeoffs have led you to this moment?
For sure, those choices created the person you are today. 😊

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If you want more real talk conversations, come join my growing group where I post more unfiltered thoughts in the link below

Katalyst

02/05/2024

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