Big Family Love (2024)

09/11/2021

Malawi for the win! I am a little bit jealous, but a lot bit excited. My first time in Africa was more than life changing—it was soul shaping.

Two weeks in June 2022, Adam and JoJo are working in the refugee camps building and serving. We just wish it could be longer and that we could all go. That we could do more for all our brothers and sisters across the world experiencing displacement. And our even bigger wish, just like with adoption, is that there was no need for refugee camps . . . Anywhere!

We hope our loaves and fishes offerings, however small and insufficient, multiply throughout our family so our children and their children are ensconced in lighted service. Because people are the only thing God is concerned with—all of us. Every single one.

It doesn’t matter what we do. It only matters that we do something!

15/10/2021

Hannah was baptized by her big brother, JoJo, two weeks ago. Her birth was his first miracle. Jojo prayed her here and has loved and protected her ever since. So this baptism was extra beautiful to witness. A perfect capstone to our family’s blending through foster care, adoption, and fertility treatments.

Hannah marches to her own beat—more than any of our other children. I guess she kind of has to. She survived months in cryo-freeze, threatened miscarriage, months of bed rest, preeclampsia, and an emergency c-section all just to get here. And she remained perfectly calm and healthy through the whole ordeal—all thirty weeks and two pounds of her.

She’s also the only bio kid, blonde kid, and the only one who doesn’t have a sibling buddy near her age. She and her stuffed animal friends make their own way. And she chooses to follow the Way Maker as she goes along.

The Bible she is holding is her great-grandmother’s. This shell-cased treasure was purchased in Israel in the early 1970s. I know great-grandma Pearl was smiling on this day!

I believe that Jesus loves everyone. That his grace is sufficient. That he is our exemplar in all things. And I choose to follow him. My one true wish is that my children and their children will choose him too.

09/10/2021

13 years. It doesn’t feel like enough time. I know it never will. Grateful she allows us access to her adult life to share meaningful moments. Binding moments. Sacred moments.

From the dark echoing halls of a Colombian orphanage to the sanctifying halls of our temple and the years and space in between, radiating light spills out of her. The beauty of this week is nearly indescribable.

25/08/2021

I’m not sure why I am blessed with many amazing friends. Like the literal best. Dinner. Texts. Funny Marcos. An Amazon delivery. Planning future trips. But mostly prayers and love and careful concern. They have all made this colossally crappy two weeks bearable.

I am overcome by gratitude today for “each life that touches ours for good.” My cup is full, even in the darkest moments, because of meaningful relationships.

Send that text. Write that thank you card. Deliver that meal. Drop off that cookie. Sit with someone who’s hurting. You don’t need words. Just sit still with them. Pray for that minutely specific need you happen to know about. Just do it. Whatever it is, intentionally act—every day.

Many small, individual acts of caring culminate into an overflowing bucket of purpose and grace. Orchestrated by the divine. For our good.

I have been both the giver and receiver—hopefully given more than taken—on many occasions, and both roles work symbiotically to buoy us individually and collectively. I may not be worthy of such relationships, but I am most grateful they exist. Today. I am just so grateful.

Now off to read the aforementioned Amazon gift—Greenlights.

12/08/2021

As I’m headed back from Cali—“Hey Babe, I might take the girls backpacking tomorrow.” No big deal. Let me just switch gears and help make that happen.

Things move fast in a large family—the windows of opportunity are sometimes elusive when managing many schedules. So we grab the moments when they arise. And lately we’ve been holding every single moment we have.

As summer ticks down and so does our gaggle of teens in the home this coming year, we feel ourselves packing in as much memory making, as many experiences, as many moments of meaning as we possibly can.

I’ll never be in this space again. I’ll never have seven teens at once, 10 kids under one roof, or even babies or toddlers ever again.

I know most moms feel this way this time of year. Sending your last kid to kinder or your last kid to Senior Year or your first kid to college. It always seems to be the beginning of the end as chapters open and close at lightning pace.

I’m grateful for a Yes Dad as my partner who snatches the opportunities. I’m grateful for children who want to be snatched. I’m grateful for friends and sisters who see the world the same way and are up for our crazy adventures!

Basically, I’m grateful for the molecular moments that make this life full and beautiful!

30/07/2021

I am currently parenting my seventh 14-year-old. Yep. Still floating above water. Barely some days. But usually gliding along with the help of some incredible teens/young adults currently in the home. Teens are awesome for so many reasons. They can be funny, helpful, good travel companions, movie buddies, and game players. They are willing to talk about anything and are forming their own opinions that allow for deep, thoughtful conversation. Give me all the teens—even though they are straight up dumb at times—because of their potential.

But 14 is still no joke. It’s hard sometimes for them and for us. I taught 14-year-olds for several years before parenting, so I know all the ins and outs. The tips and tricks. The expectations and the limitations. And yet, it’s still tricky. Cause each kid is different. Each reacts to changing hormones and changing in general differently. Some cry a lot. Some don’t cry at all. Some laugh at everything and are utterly helpless in their awkwardness. And some. Well, some are just joy-suckers no matter what tool of the trade is unearthed on them.

We are all becoming. And at 14 we kind of become all at once. And right when we need to be checked in the most as parents, we tend to completely check out. Some parents don’t know how to handle the alien invader inside. Some don’t like confrontation—taking the ostrich approach for a few years. And some simply think their kids don’t need them anymore.

Wrong. Wrong. And Wrong.

Be checked in. It’s worth expecting they will look people in the eye. Answer intelligibly. Get up before noon. Be productive members of the family and the community. And be respectful and courteous and kind.

Eventually, we end up with strong, capable, confident, emerging adults who influence the world for good.

Most of my kids have experienced significant trauma in their lives. But we still EXPECT. Because we know they will eventually BECOME. It just takes some longer than others—just like all of us…as we choose to be molded into something better!

That is always worth it!

08/07/2021

I was so uncertain about bringing newborns home at 43. And that first year was HARD! But now, two years later, they are just light.

In a home where seven of our kids are ages 14-20, these two brighten the emotional load. The trauma issues. The hormones. The heartache and heartbreak. The poor decisions. The indecision. The crises of faith and the growing of faith. The letting go and welcoming home. We are all in for all of it. But these two with their cuddles and wonder—where everything is magical and new—ground us in goodness and patience and love.

We wouldn’t change a thing about any of it!

02/03/2021

And then there were 10 . . . officially anyway. Lilah and Lucy are finally and legally McCrackens.

We had no idea the judge would finalize at our hearing yesterday, but toward the middle of the hearing he seemed to be satisfied and decided to close our case out. A huge thank you to for appearing and clearing up that we and our bio family have no part in the state’s ongoing investigation of our former adoption attorney. We appreciate the extra time they’ve taken on our behalf.

So, alas, no cool adoption pics or signs or parties or matching t-shirts or family and friends on the zoom hearing to celebrate with us. You all know we love that stuff. But it doesn’t matter. We are family. We are together.

I would LOVE if you left Lilah and Lucy a note in the comment or send a text or DM for their Life Books.

24/02/2021

Remember when you slept on the hard floor all night outside your parents’ room so you could be by them but still be big? Yeah, me neither! 🤪

(I think she just didn’t want to clean up her fort before bed.)

22/02/2021

Big family photo shoot means all hands on deck. 🤦🏼‍♀️You get the picture (pun intended)!

19/02/2021

When you have 12 people to outfit for family pics and your bestie moves to Texas so you can raid her kids’ (all 13 of them) closets anymore. And two of your sons, whose fashion sense is nil, don’t live with you anymore. AND you have to find two of everything for the toddlers...in the same size! 🤦🏼‍♀️

But seriously, this picture is really important to me. We haven’t seen one of our boys in person for over two years. And we’ve added the twins in that time. This will likely be the last family picture before the Army and missions and marriage and grandkids start to snowball . . . the culminating result of starting with seven kids under ten. They all seem to leave at once. A chapter nearing its end. A new one beginning.

Please pray for cloud cover over our family tomorrow so we have beautifully diffused light in the desert. 🌴🌥

02/02/2021

Adoption Day ended in Non-Adoption Day!

Our attorney called us EIGHT minutes before our scheduled hearing to say the judge unexpectedly postponed. 🤷🏼‍♀️I felt very much like I was back on the familiar foster care roller coaster—except these babes aren’t fosters. 🥴

We have spent almost two years waiting, filing extra documents, getting the all-clear from the attorney general’s office, waiting some more, COVID, new paternity search, new paperwork notarized by first Mama, and then waiting some more.

And now . . . We wait. Again. There will be another round with the state attorney general. More declaration requests. More questions about the efficacy of our particular adoption.

Don’t they know I woke two toddlers up from their nap today?!? I even curled my hair, dang it! And PS, powers that be—I am a child advocate. That is literally what I do every day of my life.

And . . . It’s still always worth it.

The girls aren’t going anywhere. Their place in our family is secure. They are cared for. And happy. And the best little cabooses. Lilah and Lucy have a first family and a forever family that surround them with stability and love.

So we will continue forward in faith with gratitude. For adoption. And reunification. And family—of all kinds. And the ability to advocate for things that matter.

I also choose grace toward those who I feel like punching in the face right now. 😂🙄
———————————
If you know someone going through an adoption or foster placement—even if it seems straightforward—it’s probably not. Some situations are messier than others, for sure! But there is loss every time.

When adoption hiccups or foster removals or negative court hearings come, the person you are rooting for will need a text or a call or a Diet Coke and peanut m&m’s. Sometimes all three. But mostly, they need to feel your warmth. I’ve been a grateful recipient of a lot of goodness and warmth over the years. I hope I can give as good as I’ve got over the next 40 years.

26/12/2020

Big Family. Big Christmas. Big New Year.
(Missing two boys who are now men!)
Bring on 2021!

26/12/2020

It’s a CHRISTMAS MIRACLE. These twenty toes and twenty fingers will officially join our little McFamily on February 1st, 2021. Finally!

19 months in the making—Lawyer issues. Judge issues. Translation issues. COVID issues. Even after multiple adoptions and court dates over the years . . . the stalling of this finalization has been a first for us.

But all is well. And always is. Gratitude and grace fill my heart this week as we finally received the green light from the the judge in UT.

25/09/2020

2013. 2 lbs. 30 week delivery. 8 weeks stay. Memorial Hospital. Yakima, WA.

2019. 4 and 5 lbs. 34 week delivery. One week stay. University of Utah Hospital. Salt Lake City, UT.

Two completely different situations. Different sized hospitals. Different levels of care needed.

ONE thing in common: their AMAZING nurses. Caring. Precise. Smart. Attentive. Trained. Confident. Beautiful. Every single one of them.

We honor the NICU staff at both of these hospitals with the lives of our perfectly healthy, growing, and spunky girls.

Because of them...we could sleep at night without our babes, knowing they were in the best of hands.

Because of them...parents who lost their babies while in care were loved on and watched over by these selfless women and men. I’ve watched it in action too many times.

Because of them...I could sit for hours watching their little bodies inside of the protective isolletes without feeling like I was in the way. I even got my own corner by the window so my other children could view Hannah easily.

Because of them...I was able to safely hold each of my babies against my chest when they should still be in the womb.

Because of them...Hannah would be dressed to the nines when I would come in the mornings. Such beautiful attention was given to her, day in and day out.

Because of them...Lilah and Lucy’s birthmom was given precious time with her babies without judgment from staff. They were so kind and patient with her, despite language barriers and adoption snags on the hospital’s end. The NICU staff remained focused on what was best for the babies. And that was TIME with both their moms.

Hannah, Lilah, and Lucy had the BEST nurses. The BEST care. The BEST village from birth. And our NICU nurses remain a part of that in my heart. Always!

Today, I honor them. All of my respect. All of my gratitude. All of my love.

NICU AWARENESS MONTH

15/09/2020

We get super fancy for “first day of school” pics around here (even missing one in the shower this year, HA)! But . . . the caramel apples are homemade, ala Annie. So we’re basically winning!

2020-21 McCracken Family Rundown:

Danny—20, living his life solo

Ezzy—19, BYU Pathways program, college at home

Nikki—18, Senior, homeschool

Juan—17, Senior, online school

JoJo—16, Junior, Amplus Academy, online

Brian—15, Sophomore, Amplus Academy, online

Annie—13, Seventh Grade, homeschool

Hannah—7, First Grade, homeschool

Lilah and Lucy—1, cute and more cute

10/09/2020

“The National Homeschool Dilemma”

Several friends have reached out recently to ask about homeschool as a stopgap for this school year. As one of my friends put it, virtual schooling at our public school district is a colossal disaster. (She is a staunchly supportive public school parent/advocate and former teacher.)

We live in the fifth largest school district in the country. It’s huge—over 300,000 kids—and every single kid is home. Tech issues. Comms issues. Isolation issues. Scheduling issues. We got tons of issues ‘round here. Friends from smaller districts have reached out with similar concerns also. There’s no blame or shame here.

Teachers are HEROES. And everyone is doing their best. (For the record, I can name every single teacher I ever had. I love them all. They were mentors to me and many are now friends that feel like family! . . . I digress!)

Like many others, my local Vegas friend has given it the ol’ college try for three weeks and is pulling her kids for the semester or year or however long this educational dumpster fire lasts. And droves of parents have flocked to our local homeschool FB groups looking for alternative solutions.

If you are a parent—considering homeschool as a short term (or long term) alternative—may I offer three suggestions to help give you the courage to try:

1. KEEP IT SIMPLE—
I know, original, right?!? But seriously, homeschool does not need to be complicated. In fact, it shouldn’t be. You will burn out. Your kids will revolt. You will fail.

It’s super simple if you keep it that way. Forget the frills. Provide the basics. You are only doing this to survive, remember. Most of you aren’t interested in doing this long term and even if you continue after COVID, you don’t have time right now to be paralyzed by the choices.

*Pro Tip: It literally doesn’t matter what you choose. Just choose an open and go curriculum and GO.

2. KEEP IT SHORT—
Direct teaching and learning occur over a very short amount of time in a school day and class period. The rest of the time is taken up by classroom management, transitions, recess, lunch, specials, assemblies, the list goes on.

I can accomplish in two to three hours with three kids working at totally different levels (Senior with learning disability, 7th grader, and 1st grader) and two toddlers running around, what it takes my kids an entire day to cram in at school. And the bonus is that we aren’t bogged down by homework. Having been a public school teacher, I can back this claim all day long.

*Pro Tip: You can teach your child to read in just a few short lessons—when they’re ready. It’s pretty darn easy. I’ve taught seven of my ten children so far. (And, No, I didn’t teach 1st grade—I taught 13 and 14-year-olds. Someone’s gotta do it. You’re welcome! 🥴)

3. KEEP THE MEAT—
And spit out the bones. Our lessons are rich and rigorous. We memorize, we read quality literature, we explore science and history that is interesting to us. We discuss things that matter. And we write. We write a lot. Imagine that . . . from an English major.

However, I don’t use complicated systems, behavior charts, drawn out morning routines, or anything like unto it.

Pro Tip: If you have littles and/or you work or have other significant time constraints, consider skipping history and science. Shut. Your. Mouth! Yes, you heard me, skip it. Seriously. Your kid is only six or seven or eight. Or older. They’ll learn all they need and more.

They got time, people. No need for worry or overwhelm. Remember, this is temporary—for most of you. If you have more time, then do it. But not because you think you’ll fail your children. Remember that whole dumpster fire thing? You can at least do as good as that.

With homeschool, you’ll at least have total control of the schedule. You’ll take back control over screen time. You’ll have opportunities to teach your kids stuff that YOU value and connect with them in magical ways. Even if you work—it’s easier for some of you. Because YOU decide what they do and how they spend their learning time.

——————————
I’m not gonna lie, this is a commitment. But so is managing your children online all day, every day. And, honestly, homeschool can bring magnificent rewards.

As always, my suggestions aren’t for everyone. Some are perfectly happy with their learning experience (some districts have done an amazing job). Some families can’t homeschool, even if they wanted to because of their family dynamic. Others have zero desire and won’t even get to the bottom of this post.

To all those people, I support you. I’m in your corner too. There’s no one-size-fits-all in family or in education. I firmly believe in “every child, every year” and have always made educational decisions accordingly. My two high school boys are sticking with online at our charter school. It works for them. It doesn’t work for my three girls. So we are homeschooling once more. It’s actually my happy place. But that’s another post.

If you have questions? If you feel like you’re cheating on your teachers and your district? If you’re unsure but a little excited at the idea? I get it. If you want curriculum recommendations from a friend with loads of homeschool experience? If you just want to bounce ideas? Text, call, email, DM, or comment below. I legit don’t sleep, so. . .

I’ve homeschooled the good, the bad, and the ugly! Non-verbal kid. No English kids. Fetal Alcohol kid. Slowwww at everything for no reason at all kid. Normal, on target, but I like having home kid. And thankfully, this year, a couple of smart cookies.

Loving Big this year has meant a lot of new things for a lot of people—really growing and stretching in uncomfortable ways. Thank you, 2020. I actually mean that. Most of the time.

Whatever you need . . . I am your friend. I get nothing for helping and am not affiliated with any product or company. I am just here! Share this post or page if you feel like you know someone or a group of someones that could benefit. We’re all in this, we might as well help each other. ☺️

PS: I love teachers. I value teachers. I was a teacher. My mom was a teacher. Some of my besties are teachers. Did I say enough to indicate my feelings toward teachers?!? Okay. Good!

02/09/2020

We almost said “No!” I know. Crazy, right? So many fears and concerns: I’m too old for babies! What if I can’t keep up? What if I regret it? What if we can’t adventure the same as we always have?

I have a ton of kids. Can my love and time really be multiplied AGAIN? Can I really homeschool well, volunteer at church well, feed my marriage well? Can I take care of my physical and emotional health? AND continue to speak my kids’ love languages, giving them what they need?

We’ve never navigated an open adoption before. What if that goes sideways? A couple of my trauma kids “got big issues.” Can I do this, really, and be my best self? You know, all the normal family planning questions we ask ourselves.

I’m not sure why I continue to receive the love, the grace, the faith, the multiplying of love and abilities to do this work. I don’t know why I have so many core relationships that stand like steadying stakes under this big, crazy, beautiful circus tent that blankets our family.

But I DO know that I’m not special. I’m not extraordinary. I’m not super human. I’m just like you: imperfectly trying my best. I’m just a girl that believes in miracles—even when it takes a lifetime of loving and parenting to see some of those miracles unearthed. I’m just a mom that believes in second and third and fourth chances. I’m just a divine daughter that believes in a whole lot of grace and who chooses to walk by faith.

And somehow, all of this is enough. Enough to say “Yes” over and over again. These beautiful little humans fill our home with pure light, which helps us fight the darkness that comes with trauma and abandonment and complicated family relationships. I am filled with the conviction to live what I believe—that there is always room for one more. That when we have more, we should do more. That casting a wide net always yields opportunity for learning and growth and change. And that loving big is ALWAYS worth it.

28/08/2020

Homeschool Martial Arts for the win! COVID derailed her plans this spring for in-person training. But for a homeschool mom with a billion kids . . . this is awesome!

Three live trainings a week and I don’t have to take her anywhere. Yes, please. And the animated monkey who follows their adventures put it over the top for the seven-year-old. She’s in love! And I love how she loves life.

20/08/2020

Two Families. One water park. Beating the Vegas heat, big-family style. Only missing SIX of our collective 23 kids. 😂 Glad we squeezed in one last mega adventure before school starts. And the moms were still smiling at the end of the day. Win!

You would think that this many kids makes group outings nerve-racking or makes traveling impossible. But nope. We’ve never subscribed to that notion around here. And we are so blessed to have friends who feel the same as us.

Training children young. Setting boundaries and expectations. Parenting purposefully. Creating a culture of helping first. It’s all part of our large-family lifestyle. These are the things that allow us the order and organization necessary to explore, travel, and adventure without pulling our hair out or regretting our lifestyle choice.

In a world where selfishness and intolerance seems to often win the day, I hope my children will learn the exact opposite through our family life. I hope, eventually, they will become obsessed with the best things: helping others, going the extra mile, and always loving big!

17/08/2020

A new van AND going back to real-life church . . . all in one weekend. 💕

I have loved at-home church and the opportunity for extra family time—teaching and learning and growing together in a new way. But man, I sure miss church too—the sociality, the feeling when I’m gathered together with lots of people who are on the same covenant path as me, singing praises with more than just a few voices, the youth time that my teens receive, and just the extra bit of formality that worshipping in a church brings when approaching God. Both ways are wonderful. And I am beyond grateful for both experiences.

Now to fill the extra seats with some more kids who need a home. Maybe. Foster re-licensing in progress. Pray for me! 😂

03/04/2020

Big Family at the Farmhouse!

Loving being here during a time of year that we don’t usually get to enjoy. Projects, outside time, tending our raspberries, and thinking of a garden (just waiting to see about extended school closures).

School at home is keeping us quite busy. Reminding me of my full-time homeschooling days, minus the lack of human contact that I crave!

Contrary to popular belief, big families don’t have to be chaotic. It requires a little organization and a whole lot of consistency when the kids are younger, which both pay dividends when they are older. I don’t have a fancy chore chart or elaborate point system. Just a rotation and assigned days for laundry and dinner duty. That’s it.

So isolated “forced time” together isn’t torturous. We are eating well and the house is clean. And since I refuse to be a cruise director, having a large family makes the isolation easier—many hands and always someone to play with. Only a smidge (or more) of chaos, which makes us human. And awesome. HA!

It’s the lack of face-to-face time, the hugs and handshakes, the talking, the helping, the surprise popovers to a friend’s couch and the school that make this soooo hard.

Relationships matter. And texting just isn’t the same. But it will have to do . . . for a little longer.

17/03/2020

OPPORTUNITY. For growth. For time slowed. For sibling friendships. For unfinished projects and new ideas. All the things we wish for all the time in our frenetic lives.

It doesn’t matter how successful we are at “schooling” the next few weeks. What matters is the memories that we make, the intentional time that we spend, and the buckets that we fill in and out of our homes. That is an education that will last a lifetime.

A month or two or four from now, we will all ask ourselves, What did we do with the time we were given? Being fully checked in with our families can be emotionally exhausting at times. It’s a muscle that is strengthened through opportunities like this. It doesn’t take long—it just takes intentionality and doing.

I believe that when the tides of life roll out, we see what we’re really left with on the shore. Well, the tide is rolling. And to that end, on a day when the Amazon shipment announcement directly affects my family’s income over the next few months (hopefully not more), our house chooses to be left with joy. We choose to love. We choose growth and change and doing hard things. Together. With a glass half full, even when we have every reason to see it empty.

Whatever uncertainty comes to your doorstep, my prayer is that you will find the same for you and your family. Because family is everything. And in times like this, Big Family Love feels especially sacred.

What are the opportunities you see?? We would love to spread the goodness.

Big Family Love

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