The de facto fake news of higher education Now, we know what you're thinking: I already have my Facebook feed, so why do I need another news source in my life?
Based in New York University, The Village Groupie is one of the finest news organizations on the East Coast, and is dedicated to providing avid internet users with the most useful information while they take a break from watching p**n. Simply put: because we are devoted to journalistic integrity. Everything you'll find here has been fact checked by Wikipedia, so it's fair to say that accuracy is our guarantee.
Shocking! Student Solves Real World Problem With Skills Learned in College http://www.thevillagegroupie.com/home/2017/5/5/shocking-student-solves-real-world-problem-with-skills-learned-in-college
"Like I didn’t even know college could teach you how to do that"
Sumerians Sick of All These People Culturally Appropriating the Wheel http://www.thevillagegroupie.com/home/2017/5/1/sumerians-sick-of-all-these-people-culturally-appropriating-the-wheel
“My people have been culturally exploited for millennia and nobody seems to
be doing anything about it.
Conservative Guy Concedes That People Should Be Able to Live However They Want, And Blacks Too http://www.thevillagegroupie.com/home/2017/4/29/conservative-guy-concedes-that-people-should-be-able-to-live-however-they-want-and-blacks-too
The avid Donald Trump supporter told reporters that as long as they don’t
bother anyone, “the blacks” should be allowed to live as freely as their
human counterparts.
TA Having Little Power Trip After Professor Allows Him to Correct All Midterms http://www.thevillagegroupie.com/home/2017/4/28/ta-having-little-power-trip-after-professor-allows-him-to-correct-all-midterms
“I’ve always believed hard work doesn’t go unnoticed,”
Professor Shares Laugh with Coworkers Over Time Gallatin Student Said He Was Looking for Job http://www.thevillagegroupie.com/home/2017/4/25/professor-shares-laugh-with-coworkers-over-time-gallatin-student-said-he-was-looking-for-job
“Oh man, I wish I took a picture of his face, he looked so hopeful"
Bored Social Justice Activist Just Sitting, Waiting Around Until Next Boycott http://www.thevillagegroupie.com/home/2017/4/8/bored-social-justice-activist-just-sitting-waiting-around-until-next-boycott
“Days have been a little slow lately,”
Incoming Freshman Excited to Come to College and Interact with Diverse Array of His Same Viewpoints http://www.thevillagegroupie.com/home/2017/4/7/incoming-freshman-excited-to-come-to-college-and-interact-with-diverse-array-of-his-same-viewpoints
"Like I already agree with everything I'm gonna learn in college, but I
wana like agree with it more you know.”
Sick of Getting Cat Called, Female Student Set to Undergo Gender Transition Surgery http://www.thevillagegroupie.com/home/2017/4/6/sick-of-getting-cat-called-female-student-set-to-undergo-gender-transition-surgery
CAS Junior Anna Weber just about had it with this constant catcalling and
is set to undergo gender transition surgery in the upcoming weeks.
Shy Sophomore Can’t Wait to Go on Spring Break Trip to CVS Pharmacy http://www.thevillagegroupie.com/home/2017/4/5/shy-sophomore-cant-wait-to-go-on-spring-break-trip-to-cvs-pharmacy
Tandon Sophomore Jay Lopez told reporters he was “super pumped” for his
upcoming Spring Break trip to the CVS on the corner of 14th and 4th.
Ghost of Adolf Hi**er Just About Had It with These Unfair Donald Trump Comparisons http://www.thevillagegroupie.com/home/2017/3/30/ghost-of-adolf-hitler-just-about-had-it-with-these-unfair-donald-trump-comparisons
“Like seriously, what does a guy have to do to get some recognition around
here?"
Entitled Pre-Med Swamped with Studies in Bobst Rudely Tells Protesters Shouting at Face to Please Try to Be Quiet http://www.thevillagegroupie.com/home/2017/3/28/entitled-pre-med-swamped-with-studies-inbobstrudely-tells-protesters-shouting-at-face-to-please-try-to-be-quiet
A privileged pre-med crassly told a group of student protesters who were
fighting for their rights at Bobst Library to “try to keep it down” because
he was "trying to study."
Breaking! Guy Called Racist Actually a Racist http://www.thevillagegroupie.com/home/2017/3/16/breaking-guy-called-racist-actually-a-racist
“Black, browns, Jews, yellows… I hate them all,”
NYU Hipster Now Wearing Make America Great Again Hats Because It Super Trendy http://www.thevillagegroupie.com/home/2017/3/14/nyu-hipster-now-wearing-make-america-great-again-hats-because-it-super-trendy
“I honestly don’t care what they think about me,”
NYU to Start Offering Alternative Medicine Track for Premeds http://www.thevillagegroupie.com/home/2017/3/2/nyu-to-start-offering-alternative-medicine-track-for-premeds
The track will include courses such as: “CHAKRA-UA 100: An Intro to
Shamanic Studies” where students will be expected to learn the ancient
healing practices required to rid the body of all evil spirits that cause
ailments
Politics Professor Replaces Lecture With Weekly Anti Trump Chant http://www.thevillagegroupie.com/home/2017/2/23/politics-professor-replaces-lecture-with-weekly-anti-trump-chant
“Students are expected to analyze the complexities of the long ranging
history of political thought using no more than 10 words that make up for a
catchy chant about Donald Trump's small pen*s.”
Tisch Student Adamant Stick Up Her Ass Is an Artistic Choice http://www.thevillagegroupie.com/home/2017/2/21/tisch-student-adamant-stick-up-her-ass-is-an-artistic-choice
“Honestly, if you can’t even recite the entirety of Andrey’s monologue in
Chekov’s Three Sisters, don’t even talk to me like what the f**k."
Heartwarming: NYU Baseball Places Sixth in Little League World Series http://www.thevillagegroupie.com/home/2017/2/20/heartwarming-nyu-baseball-places-sixth-in-little-league-world-series
“This year, we were ready for the challenge,”
Dear White Guys: 4 Tips on How to Avoid “Mansplaining” http://www.thevillagegroupie.com/home/2017/2/18/dear-white-guys-5-tips-on-how-to-avoidsplaining
Being an expert on a subject does not mean you get to have an opinion on it
Liberal Student Continues to Have Conversation About Having a Conversation http://www.thevillagegroupie.com/home/2017/2/18/liberal-student-continues-to-have-conversation-about-having-a-conversation
“A conversation is, umm, an exchange of words that happens between people.
Breaking: Gallatin Sophomore Describes Concentration in 500 Page Poem http://www.thevillagegroupie.com/home/2017/2/16/breaking-gallatin-sophomore-describes-concentration-in-500-page-poem
“So is he like an English major?"
Sad! Birthday Reminders Only Notifications on Loser's Facebook http://www.thevillagegroupie.com/home/2017/2/14/sad-birthday-reminders-only-notifications-on-losers-facebook
When he did the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge none of the people that he
challenged responded or even bothered to like his video
White Guy Living in Dumpster Wondering Where He Can Sign Up for That White Privilege Everyone Talking About http://www.thevillagegroupie.com/home/2017/2/14/white-guy-living-in-dumpster-wondering-where-he-can-sign-up-for-that-white-privilege-everyone-talking-about
"I really don't know how I missed out on that"
Breaking: Sophomore Still Using Trump Win As Excuse to Miss Class
http://www.thevillagegroupie.com/home/2017/2/13/breaking-sophomore-still-using-trump-win-as-excuse-to-miss-class
"Unfortunately, I will not be able to do my Webassign in time, for I am still grieving for my great country."
‘I’d Like You to Turn in Your Papers a Month After the Deadline,’ Says Professor in Student’s Interpretation of Academic Policy http://www.thevillagegroupie.com/home/2017/2/12/id-like-you-to-turn-in-your-papers-a-month-after-the-deadline-says-professor-in-students-interpretation-of-academic-policy
“I want you to waste as much time as you can on useless mundanities and
distractions so that when the submission deadline comes, you can disregard
it completely,”
Class of 1991 Fraternity Pledge Finally Emerges from Basement He Was Left in During Rush Week Party http://www.thevillagegroupie.com/home/2017/2/11/class-of-1991-fraternity-pledge-finally-emerges-from-basement-he-was-left-in-during-rush-week-party
Upon hearing of the news, Mr Jonson’s fraternity brothers were thrilled
that their friend “Little Dick Face” was still alive.
Trump Assures Public He Not Prejudiced Against Muslims, Says There Still Plenty of Time to Go After Other Minorities as Well http://www.thevillagegroupie.com/home/2017/2/8/trump-assures-public-he-not-prejudiced-against-muslims-says-there-still-plenty-of-time-to-go-after-other-minorities-as-well
"I want everyone to know that I want nobody to feel left out of this
project. We will work very hard to take away everyone's rights equally."
Local Brooklyn Priest Can’t Get Any Decent Confessions Lately http://www.thevillagegroupie.com/home/2017/2/7/local-brooklyn-priest-cant-get-any-decent-confessions-lately
"The only thing I hear about now is micro-aggressions and not being good
enough to animals or the environment. It's pathetic"
Vegan Activist Group Protesting Lions’ Abusive Mistreatment of Zebras http://www.thevillagegroupie.com/home/2017/2/5/vegan-activist-group-protesting-lions-abusive-mistreatment-of-zebras
"It's not that we think that only zebra lives matter, it's that zebra lives
matter too."
In light of recent events, a little throwback seemed appropriate
Frontrunner of the Cherokee party Mr. Big Orange has recently come under fire for expressing his desire to close all travel from white immigrants into all North American territory.
Study Abroad Student Excited to Explore New Country’s YouTube Page in Hopes of Immersive Cultural Experience http://www.thevillagegroupie.com/home/2017/2/1/study-abroad-student-excited-to-explore-new-countrys-youtube-page-in-hopes-of-immersive-cultural-experience
"Clowns slamming pizza pies into people's faces? That’s some cultural
exposure you can only get in Italian YouTube.”
Village Groupie to Work with Trump Administration to Provide Greatest, Most Fantastic Facts http://www.thevillagegroupie.com/home/2017/1/25/village-groupie-to-work-with-trump-administration-to-provide-greatest-most-fantastic-facts
The hacks will no longer get away with lying about the accuracy of the
claims made by the president just by showing that said claims do not concur
at all with reality.
Despite Recent Progress, Racists Still Facing Lack of Representation in Government and Media http://www.thevillagegroupie.com/home/2017/1/23/despite-recent-progress-racists-still-facing-lack-of-representation-in-government-and-media
“There’s still plenty of work to do,”
Millennial in Africa Sees Child Starving to Death, Starts Checking Her Privilege to Save Him http://www.thevillagegroupie.com/home/2017/1/19/millennial-in-africa-sees-child-starving-to-death-starts-checking-her-privilege-to-save-him
"This is why I need to check my privilege. There are marginalized
minorities all around the world whose voices also need to be a part of the
conversation."
Judge Acquits Man of Murder on Grounds the White Supremacist Patriarchy Made Him Do It http://www.thevillagegroupie.com/home/2017/1/18/judge-acquits-man-of-murder-on-grounds-the-white-supremacist-patriarchy-made-him-do-it
“This man is clearly a victim, the patriarchy oppresses him as much as the
man that he killed"
Groundbreaking Study Finds Everything You Believe In is Absolutely True and Supported by All Evidence http://www.thevillagegroupie.com/home/2017/1/17/groundbreaking-study-finds-everything-you-believe-in-is-absolutely-true-and-supported-by-all-evidence
"The science tells us that you are always right, and everyone else is
always wrong."
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