It's Not Selective

07/11/2023

Facebook deleted my post about my new book 😱 I have no idea why!

So here goes again!! Here it is...

I wanted to write a book that parents can give to teachers to help teachers to understand what Selective Mutism is quickly. An understanding teacher can be a game changer for a child!

This book is two-fold; it can be read by teachers of children of any age, and it can be read by children aged 10+. Feedback has been that it would be amazing to have a book like Eliza or Ben but for older children to read themselves, so here it is 😊...

𝗔 𝗹𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝘆 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗿: 𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗜 𝗰𝗮𝗻’𝘁 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗸 𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗹

This is a book about Jess, a child with Selective Mutism.

Jess writes a heartfelt letter to her new teacher at the start of the school year - articulating what Selective Mutism is and how it isn’t a choice, how it affects her in many different situations at school, and what she wishes teachers would do to help her. This book can be read by teachers of children of all ages. It is recommended that parents of children with Selective Mutism give this book to the new teacher ahead of the school year. It can also be read by children aged 10+ with Selective Mutism (it is recommended that parents read the book first to assess the suitability for the specific child).

The reader will leave these pages having gained a deeper understanding of not only what Selective Mutism is but also what they can do to help the child or young person feel more comfortable and accepted.

Get the book:

UK/Europe: https://amzn.to/474KOYM
USA/rest of world: https://www.amazon.com/Letter-My-Teacher-Speak-School/dp/180352748X/ref=sr_1_3?crid=IILBK673RPR9&keywords=lucy+nathanson&qid=1699388604&sprefix=lucy+nathanson%2Caps%2C162&sr=8-3

19/10/2023

I enjoyed every second of recording this final episode. Each of us have our own story with our children and I’ve been fortunate enough to share our story with some truly amazing teachers along the way.
This episode I spent chatting with two teachers that my daughter has had in her primary years at school. We talk about what worked for us, next steps, adapting to social changes and more.
Thankyou to Rachel and Jess who gave up their time to record this episode with me. I could talk about SM and our journey for hours and hours. So thankful.

‎Health & Fitness · 2023

06/10/2023

I am so excited for this month. I will be recording my final podcast with some amazing teachers. These teachers are incredibly special to our family for the way in which they supported my daughter through her SM journey. Watch this space. 💛

21/06/2023

Such a great article. Please share as far and wide as possible.

Is your child so ‘shy’ that they do not talk at school? Or maybe they talk to children but not adults, or vice versa. It may be that they...

27/02/2023

Last week was amazing! Neve met her goal of reading and answering comprehension questions with her teacher. On top of that, I have been told she is speaking with at least two other teachers she has never spoken to before. What a week!! The hard work she puts in is definitely showing fruit. 🌺❤️😊📣
Be encouraged that all the work we do at home and out and about, really does have purpose.

04/02/2023

Collaborative learning and SM can be tricky. A strategy we use to ensure inclusion and accessibility to learning outcomes is though the use of post it notes.
Students are asked to brainstorm a specific topic in groups. Each student within the group is given post it notes to jot down ideas. These post it notes are then combined on a larger sheet of paper for that group. When the brainstorming part of the lesson concludes, students then place their larger sheet of paper (full of post it notes), on the large board at the front of the classroom. The teacher is then able to share each students ideas. This can be a completely non verbal experience for the SM student but still promotes inclusion but more importantly is ACCESSIBLE for the nonverbal learner.

31/12/2022

We had a fabulous year!! Ready to see what’s waiting for us in 2023. ✌🏻🤍☀️

22/12/2022

Not long now till Christmas!! 😱🌲🎅

The Christmas period, Easter and other family gatherings can be very anxiety inducing for children with Selective Mutism.

𝗪𝗵𝘆?


1. Visits from extended family and family friends who the child has previously been unable to talk to elicit an anxiety response. Additionally, children with Selective Mutism typically get overwhelmed in busy environments with lots of people.

2. Visiting 'non-verbal' environments; extended families homes' that the child has found it difficult to be verbal in in the past also elicit anxiety. The child has memories of not being able to talk there and has built an association e.g. 'I can't talk at grandma's house', causing them to pre-empt the anxiety that they may feel.


𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘄𝗲 𝗱𝗼 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝗮 𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗠𝘂𝘁𝗶𝘀𝗺 𝗮𝘁 𝗳𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗴𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀?

These situations can be a great opportunity to help the child to feel at ease and potentially start to be verbal with new people BUT some planning is necessary.

1. Brief everyone...

Click here to continue reading this article:

https://www.confidentchildren.co.uk/single-post/2017/12/08/how-to-help-a-child-with-selective-mutism-cope-with-family-gatherings

Please share with other parents who may benefit

19/12/2022

Review of 2022

09/12/2022

High five for the last day of year 5 🙌
I seem to end every year saying it was the greatest, and this year is no exception. We have seen so much growth this year. Growth in independence, confidence, resilience, stamina and character. This would not be possible without the incredible support of our therapist, school teacher and the village that surrounds us. You all know who you are. I can’t believe next year is the final year of primary.

27/11/2022

We GROW through what we go through. My prayer for my daughter Neve is that she uses her experience of SM to bless others. This experience will undoubtedly grow her compassion and strengthen her character.
My experience as the Mum of a child with SM has impacted my entire career. I get to spend my working days supporting students that not only require academic adjustments but, need that extra bit of love and care in the school environment. This is something I have witnessed my daughter experience at school over the last 6 years. It’s such a privilege to use the lessons of our hardships to build others up. ✌🏻

09/11/2022

Reaching goals in November has the best reward! Christmas tree up and dog dressed up. It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. 🎄❤️🎅🏻

03/11/2022

New day and new goals. Our amazing therapist suggested a survey to encourage voice talking with more teachers. The reward of course means putting up the Christmas tree early 🎅🏻🎄❤️. The joy was real in our house this afternoon creating this survey.

28/10/2022

Happy World Teachers Day!
I could talk about the wonderful, amazing and supportive teachers both my daughters have had. We have been so incredibly blessed by teachers who have gone the extra mile, researched in their own time, made adjustments, asked questions and been a listening ear. My girls teachers are people I will never forget and I’m sure my girls will always remember the impact of kind and lovely teachers. X

27/10/2022

https://youtu.be/rdple9pJT2g

https://www.confidentchildren.co.uk/https://www.facebook.com/Confident-Children-705561972840374/Selective mutism online training courses: https://confidentch...

23/10/2022

I’ve been reflecting a lot on my experience in high school as I just attended my 20th reunion. I’m hoping and praying my daughters experience of high school will be just as wonderful and even better than mine. The best way I can help is to make sure I model a positive attitude towards learning and relationships and continue to advocate for the right support. There is so much I wish I could change about my teenage years and so many decisions I made that were poor due to my own anxieties. I’m equipping myself now as a parent ready for those teenage years. I know I won’t make all the right parenting choices but I’m damned well going to try!

16/10/2022

It’s ALWAYS a good day to be proud of the progress you’ve made and are in the process of making.

11/10/2022

05/10/2022

Episode 11 is ready!
October is Selective Mutism awareness month and Neve is sharing some of her thoughts and experiences with Selective Mutism. I’m so proud of this girl!
https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/its-not-selective/id1533412026?i=1000581619199

28/09/2022

It would be easy to say it costs nothing to be nice BUT that’s not always the case. Sometimes being nice means sacrificing our justice meters, sacrificing our opportunity to be seen and noticed, and sometimes sacrificing our need to be right.
If it comes to you to BE NICE and you know it will cost you something then go for it. You never lose anything worthwhile by being nice. It may cost you something but you’ll never be in debt. 🕊✌🏻

01/09/2022

If you knew then what you know now; we are just thankful for all that we have learnt and are learning on this long road of kicking goals. X

17/08/2022

“I can’t live without…” this was the topic for my daughters speech. Today was the first time my daughter has ever given a speech in front of her teacher and entire class. She went to school with the goal of giving her speech to a friend and the teacher but decided to give the whole class a go. I’m blown away!!!! The anxiety that was unleashed when she got home and relaxed was something I’m happy to never experience again 😝. We need to remember that although a goal was achieved it takes a significant amount of courage to walk through the anxiety and all that energy needs to be released somehow. This afternoon was hard. My word I’m proud of her!

04/08/2022

Sometimes having visual prompts helps a child to choose what a conversation will be about. This allows them time to have a script in their mind which will reduce anxiety. We are trying these at my daughters school to encourage her in conversation building. The teachers will ask her a question and then she will return the question and try her best to continue the conversation by adding details. Having visuals also supports the teacher preventing them from having to think on the spot for an appropriate conversation building question. Plus I just find laminating very satisfying.😉

31/07/2022

Grade 1 = Done
The entire family are thrilled to not listen to those same 3 pieces of music EVER AGAIN!
Her hands were sweaty and heart was racing but she pulled it all together and did such a great job. Another day = Another goal = Another Maccas run 😜

29/07/2022

My daughter had her interview for High School this morning. I gave her some questions that they may ask so she could prepare a script in her head to be ready and she nailed it! She even said she was excited for High School …still another 18 months to go . If this interview had taken place even a few months ago, I don’t think she would have felt as confident. She has grown so much in self confidence and this is due to her consistent efforts to meet small, reachable yet challenging goals. Knowing questions ahead of time is super helpful because it allows the person to build a script in their mind which lowers anxiety as they don’t have to think of answers on the spot. 🤍

18/07/2022

That’s a wrap for the July break. We hope you all had a relaxing break from school and are feeling ready to get stuck into term 3! I’m more than ready for my kids to get back to school. 😜

15/07/2022

My daughter has spent the week at an amazing Holiday Club run by our church. For 90% of the time she was up there with the loudest kids but for that remaining 10% she was feeling those anxious feels. Singing and dancing in front of people is a huge trigger for her despite her brilliance at it. Today I made sure to rewind and practise a few goals that she is already able to do so that she can feel that sense of achievement to increase motivation ready to start a new school term. Ordering food is a great goal!

24/06/2022

Day At The Dog Park, this is apparently the name for the classroom skit that my daughter used her VOICE in today. She performed in front of her entire class as well as her teacher. This is a MASSIVE goal for her and we are celebrating with her favourite dinner. This doesn’t mean she is free from the anxiety but by practising over and over again she one day hopes to be free from SM.