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06/11/2023

Over the last 3 years, my parosmia has made it nearly impossible for us to travel. After a couple of years worth of grief counseling, trauma therapy and SGB’s, I’m now much more able to leave my house with confidence that I will always be able to track down something to eat. This weekend, we explored Savannah and Jekyll Island, GA and attended the wedding of one of my oldest friends. I’m happy to report I came home with very happy taste buds and much tighter pants. 😄

Oh, and guess what? Thanks to all that trauma therapy, I experienced zero flight anxiety and happily enjoyed a few hours in the sky to read and snooze. What is life?!

Pictured here: 
Wedge salad with ranch dressing and buttermilk biscuit croutons (without red onions, for now)

Crab cakes with parmesan risotto and asparagus, topped with arugula

Biscuits with sausage gravy and cheddar grits (do you see those chives?! I ate those!)

Key lime pie

Ham and cheese omelette, the literal best biscuit I’ve ever had with whipped butter and jam, and *surprise!* more cheese grits 😋

Not pictured here:

Buttermilk biscuits with honey butter

Vanilla oat milk latte

Shrimp and grits

Beef empanada  
Mini corn dogs with mustard

Mocha latte

Bagels and cream cheese

Black coffee

Multiple medicine balls from Starbucks (10/10 would recommend this off-menu concoction if you enjoy hot herbal teas and lemonade)

Mashed potatoes with gravy, sautéed broccoli and onions, the best collard greens I’ve ever had, more cheese grits and rolls

Gah, it feels good to be a foodie again. 🥹

17/10/2023

Two books I would highly recommend for anyone healing from smell and taste issues due to Covid, chronic stress or unprocessed trauma:

• “The Body Keeps the Score” by Besser van der Kolk

• “The Smell of Fresh Rain” by Barney Shaw

“The Body Keeps the Score” does a wonderful job explaining the links between various types of trauma and health complications. If you’ve been curious about EMDR, Internal Family Systems or any other type of modality that helps relieve the mind (and our perception of reality - including our senses) of stress and rewire the brain for healthier outcomes, this book will explain how and why they work.

“The Smell of Fresh Rain” does an insanely good job of explaining why our sense of smell is so uniquely tied to our memory and our emotions as well as how it impacts our ability to enjoy the flavor of food. If you or someone you love has lost the ability to smell or taste correctly, this book will provide language for all that you or your loved one has lost and why the grieving and healing process is much more intense than we could have ever imagined.

If you are searching for books to help you process your suffering, grief and healing through the lens of faith, I would also highly recommend the books “Gentle and Lowly: The Heart of Christ for Sinners and Sufferers” by Dane C. Ortlund and “Counted Worthy: A Father’s Perspective on the Theology of Suffering” by Connor Bales.

All four of these books have been instrumental to me in my healing journey. My mind has been blown as I learn more about the physiological capabilities of the brain and body to heal in the aftermath of trauma and my faith has been strengthened as I learn more about God’s heart for those He loves, even in the midst of their suffering, wandering and doubt. As the third anniversary of my initial infection is drawing near and my senses of smell and taste continue to improve, I am growing more and more grateful for the knowledge I’ve gained in this season and the therapies I’ve found that work so well for my body and mind.

Keep seeking, y’all. Healing is possible. 💛

17/10/2023

Two books I would highly recommend for anyone healing from smell and taste issues due to Covid, chronic stress or unprocessed trauma:

• “The Body Keeps the Score” by Besser van der Kolk

• “The Smell of Fresh Rain” by Barney Shaw

The Body Keeps the Score does a wonderful job explaining the links between various types of trauma and health complications. If you’ve been curious about EMDR, Internal Family Systems or any other type of modality that helps relieve the mind (and our perception of reality - including our senses) of stress and rewire the brain for healthier outcomes, this book will explain how and why they work.

The Smell of Fresh Rain does an insanely good job of explaining why our sense of smell is so uniquely tied to our memory and our emotions as well as how it impacts our ability to enjoy the flavor of food. If you or someone you love has lost the ability to smell or taste correctly, this book will provide language for all that you or your loved one has lost and why the grieving and healing process is much more intense than we could have ever imagined.

If you are searching for books to help you process your suffering, grief and healing through the lens of faith, I would also highly recommend the books “Gentle and Lowly: The Heart of Christ for Sinners and Sufferers” by Dane C. Ortlund and “Counted Worthy: A Father’s Perspective on the Theology of Suffering”.

All four of these books have been instrumental to me in my healing journey. My mind has been blown as I learn more about the physiological capabilities of the brain and body to heal in the aftermath of trauma and my faith has been strengthened as I learn more about God’s heart for those He loves, even in the midst of their suffering, wandering and doubt. As the third anniversary of my initial infection is drawing near and my senses of smell and taste continue to improve, I am growing more and more grateful for the knowledge I’ve gained in this season and the therapies I’ve found that work so well for my body and mind.

Keep seeking, y’all. Healing is possible. 💛

05/10/2023

This morning, I woke up and fixed myself a French press of black coffee.

When Hunter woke up, I sat on the floor beside his bed with my still-sleepy eyes and smiled my most genuine smile as he “read” me the books he didn’t want to sleep without.

I went to breakfast with a friend to talk about music and my mental health (this is 31 😄). I ate biscuits and gravy with an entire piece of bacon that - for the first time in almost three years - tasted exactly how it should.

This afternoon, I’m picking out autumn-inspired meals on Pinterest and writing a grocery list filled with beef, potatoes and onions.

These are realities I couldn’t picture a year or two ago. I wasn’t sure they’d ever come to pass, and hoping for days like this felt like a losing game. Thankfully, God is so much bigger than whatever realities I can perceive and however much faith and hope my human heart can muster at any given time.

I doubt, but He doesn’t.
I fear, but He doesn’t.
I worry, but He doesn’t.
I wander, but He doesn’t.
I fall short, but He doesn’t.
I lose control, but He doesn’t.
I break down, but He doesn’t.

I don’t deserve the breath in my lungs or a single moment of grace I’ve experienced today, yet He chose to bless me with them anyway.

What a good and loving Father He is.

11/09/2023

A year ago, I couldn’t eat any of this without a nose plug. Two years ago, I didn’t know if I’d ever eat any of it ever again. All illness improves when the nervous system is allowed to regulate. Because of EMDR, SGB’s, a lot of emotional release and a lotttttt of lifestyle changes, I’m able to eat more than I have in years. Let’s take a little culinary adventure through some of my favorite meals and snacks from the summer. ☀️

1. Pot roast and mashed potatoes 🤤

2. Dark chocolate peanut butter cups 🍫

3. Cheeseburger, fried pickles and ranch from 🍔

4. Yellowbird Serrano Condiment (I can’t enjoy most salsas, but I can eat this!) 🌶️

5. Margherita pizza with rosemary garlic bread (not pictured: many more pizzas with pepperoni, sausage, pesto, carmelized onionsand mushrooms) 🍕

6. Sweet clementine snocone from 🍊

7. Strawberry licorice twists (snuck these into the theater with animal crackers when I saw the Barbie movie like the responsible grown woman that I am) 🍓

8. coconut shrimp, garlic butter rice and salad with poppyseed dressing (y’all, I have been sleeping on coco shrimp! their food is SO good!) 🍤

9. Biscuits with sausage gravy, extra crispy hashbrowns and poblano grits from 😛

10. Root beer float ice cream bars from (probably my new favorite TJ’s find)🍦

Some of these items are healthy. Most of them are not. (I promise I eat a lot of healthy things, too, they just aren’t as exciting.) All of this food was delicious, though, and I am so, so grateful to have experienced enough progress with my senses to be able to enjoy it.

Keep nurturing your nervous system, friends. Healing is possible. 🙌🏻

13/06/2023

This is one of my favorite pictures of my dad and me. He is dressed as his most authentic self and I’m standing there knee-high to a grasshopper bossing him around. This was a few years before I’d ever been bucked off while riding, so I was still in my fearless phase. 💁🏼‍♀️That pretty horse there was named Colonel. I was tiny and couldn’t read back then, so I thought his name was “Kernel” (as in popcorn) for a really long time. 🍿The mind of a child is a precious and hilarious thing. 😄

Today on the blog I’m sharing a post called “Daddy Issues”. If your story was affected by divorce, this post will likely hit home with you and help you make some new connections between your emotional, mental and physical health.

One of my best friends asked me last week how my parents felt about me sharing parts of our story online. I’ve been having the most honest conversations that I possibly can over the last year or so, and I’m letting them read the posts before they go live. You can swipe over to see my dad’s response to today’s post. The cool thing about Jesus is that He truly can forgive our mistakes and heal our wounds, and He can strip us of any pride that holds us back from sharing our story with those who need to hear it most. My dad knows my heart. He knows I love him, and He knows he’s forgiven. He also knows how much I love all of you and how much I want to see y’all heal as I heal. He trusts me and encourages me in my storytelling because he knows we’ve been given a testimony that could change the trajectory of other people’s lives. He and I are on the same team. I’m simply sharing a glimpse into a chapter of our story from long ago to provide context for the healing that’s happening today.💛

Link in bio ✌🏻

06/06/2023

Every time I get ready to share something helpful for you guys, I face opposition. Hunter either has hand, foot and mouth or Roseola, so I’m without childcare ~again~ this week. 🫠

As per usual, I’ve been working ahead on my Healing Diaries blog series behind the scenes. I hope to get a new installment up for you guys each week until it’s complete. 🤞🏻

In honor of today’s post (Healing Diaries Part 2: In the Beginning), I thought we’d take a little trip down memory lane. These photos make me want to throw my iPhone in a river and only use disposable cameras and Polaroids for the rest of time. Good memories are worth more than gold. 🥹

The link to my most recent blog post will stay in the link in my bio. 💛

(PS: That last photo isn’t a good memory, it’s just proof that I’ve literally been struggling to breathe since I was born.)

30/05/2023

Hey friends, it’s time for another cookbook update. ✌🏻

Due to the increased cost of *literally everything on planet earth 🫠* Amazon’s production costs for all their self-published books are increasing on June 20th. Unfortunately, the current list prices I’ve chosen for the hardback and paperback versions of my parosmia-friendly cookbook are not high enough to cover the increase in their new pricing structure.

My desire to donate 10% of our profits towards smell and taste disorder research and a couple of other incredible charities in my local area have not changed. The cookbook provides us with a unique opportunity to raise awareness about parosmia and other smell and taste disorders and multiply the healing I’ve experienced in my own life and that I envision for so many others who are currently suffering. I sincerely hope you can understand the need to increase the price of the paperback and hardback by a couple of dollars in these unprecedented economic times so that I can continue contributing whatever resources I can to help bring smell and taste disorders to an end.

P A P E R B A C K
Current price: $27.99
Current profit: $1.94
Price after June 20: $29.99
Profit after June 20: $1.66

H A R D B A C K
Current price: $34.99
Current profit: $1.49
Price after June 20: $37.50
Profit after June 20: $1.42

(The price of the ebook and the downloadable PDF will remain the same.)

PS: Does anyone remember what precedented times were like? Feel free to leave your favorite memory from before the world turned upside down in the comments below so we can all reminisce. 😉

10/02/2023

Trigger warning: parental death, trauma, mental health, miscarriage

Earlier this week, we found out that Jonathan’s dad passed away after his decades-long battle with Huntington’s disease.

I came onto my stories that morning and said that we are ok, but I have gained a glaring sense of clarity about myself in the last week and it turns out that I am, in fact, not ok.

Last weekend, I learned for the first time ever that in the aftermath of trauma, an unhealthy brain typically runs to two things: addiction and/or codependency. I’ve never been formally diagnosed with either, but after learning the clinical definitions and reflecting on different seasons of my life, I can see how I have, at different times, fallen into both. I try my best to get addicted to healthy things, then I usually get praised for my discipline and the approval of others keeps me motivated to keep going. I grew up feeling the need to fix a difficult situation I was in for the sake of everybody else, and I can see how I have carried that unhealthy pattern and a lack of boundaries through a lot of my relationships and even into what I share here on social media. In my heart of hearts, I really do want to help those who are struggling. Once you see up close how broken and heartbreaking the world really is on this side of Genesis 3 and how broken your body can feel as you do your best to fight the good fight, you can’t help but notice the hurt in someone else’s eyes who is suffering in the exact same way.

I said I was ok Monday because I don’t like for people to worry about me. I grew up feeling the need to hold everything together for my family in the midst of chaos, and I learned way back then how to keep all my emotions and honest thoughts to myself in order to appease everyone around me. In therapy, I am finding my voice again, but I have almost zero experience with it and I need to learn how to harness it wisely around people I trust. (continued)

08/12/2022

Flying high over rivers, hills and valleys
Just trying to find my way back home to you
Cotton candy clouds and rays outside my window
Shades of sunrise color my whole point of view

To get back to where you are, I’d fly forever
I’d do anything to have you in my arms
I’d scale the mountains, swim the seas, float on every ocean breeze
No destination for me’d ever be too far
For the boy who has my heart

I’d rather be filling up the toy box before bed
or reading you the same ol’ book that we’ve already read

To get back to where you are, I’d fly forever
I’d do anything to have you in my arms
I’d scale the mountains, swim the seas, float on every ocean breeze
There’s no destination for me that’s too far
For the boy who has my heart

💛

I started writing this song for Hunter on a plane on my way back home from Spokane in August. I have 35 titles and little snippets of songs scattered all over my phone and computer and have hardly ever given myself the time and space to work on them. My body has been in such a tough place, and the creative voices in my head have been quiet for a long time. Now, they simply won’t shut up. 🙈 I’m recording voice memos, writing down notes and playing pitiful guitar every time inspiration hits between working, changing diapers and washing dishes so I don’t forget anything. I feel like a kid again. 🥹

Life can be so hard, and it can also change in a moment. Chase your dreams, friends. Tell those negative voices in your head to go to hell and show up for that little, imaginative version of you who had big dreams before you found out how cruel the world could be. Let little you write and dance and sing and paint and create beautiful things. You never know where it might lead.✨

19/10/2022

I just want to post this photo bc I finally feel like my smile is all the way back. I’m not putting on a show for myself or anyone else anymore. There is real joy and purpose in my everyday life again, and I am so glad. While Parosmia has absolutely changed my life and there are still many things I cannot enjoy eating or smell correctly, I finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. Whether it’s 6 months or a year until this thing is finally in my rear view mirror, I have so much hope for total restoration. Parosmia will affect my perspective, my gratitude, and my cooking and eating habits for the rest of my life, and while I never would have chosen this path, it has grown me and healed me in ways I may not have otherwise knew I needed.

I have big plans to continue serving and raising awareness for the parosmia community in the coming months, but for today I’m just so thankful I can smile and laugh and sing and dance again.

Thank you all for your support, your encouragement and your prayers. The dark fog feels like it has finally lifted from my eyes and the sunshine is taking its rightful place. Praise God. ☀️

Hang in there, friends. We’re going to get through this. 🫶🏻

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