Leading With Vulnerability

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Leading With Vulnerability Stories matter. Your story matters. Everyone has a story. People need to share their highs and lows.

13/09/2024

“I know why the front windshield is bigger than the rearview mirror, but sometimes I wish the rearview mirror was a little bigger.” -Ray Fuller

Ray Fuller said this while we were recording an episode of the LWV podcast this morning. He was referring to looking back on his time in service, and I wanted to share it.

I kept my promise. If you missed it, I said I match donations to the Stop Soldier Su***de made today up to $500. You guy...
13/05/2024

I kept my promise. If you missed it, I said I match donations to the Stop Soldier Su***de made today up to $500. You guys went above and beyond with over $1,000 today!

Thank you! Let's keep it going link in the comments!

13/05/2024

Let's make a deal. I need a founding donor for the Stop Soldier Su***de livestream on May 25th. What's the deal? I'll match what is donated today, up to $500.00. To be clear, that's $500 total; I'm a retired E8, not a retired 4-star.

Let's initiate movement, and thanks for the support!

Check the comments or message me for the donation link.

10/05/2024

Observable, Measurable, Repeatable

Stop Soldier Su***de is precisely that. We can observe the great things they are doing. You can measure their impact through the data. And with our help, it is repeatable.

For the remainder of May, I am raising money for Stop Soldier Su***de. The link to the fund raising page is in the comments. I need a founding donor! Ten cents or ten dollars, it doesn't matter.

Have a great weekend and thank you for the support.

It’s OK not to be OK. But it’s not OK to stay that way. I heard this from my pastor yesterday, and it hit me in all of t...
06/05/2024

It’s OK not to be OK. But it’s not OK to stay that way.

I heard this from my pastor yesterday, and it hit me in all of the feels.

But it’s not OK to stay that way. The first step in my mental health starts with me. I never improve if I remain disconnected and never take the first step in asking for help. What is “help”? Help doesn't always mean that you need to go to a doctor, a therapist, or a rehab center. Help could be calling a friend or a loved one and confiding in them. Help could be getting a trainer or nutritionist to aid in curbing bad habits. Help can be realizing that you're heading down a dark path and helping yourself correct your course. Help can be a lot of things.

Okay, it's time for full transparency. I struggle with depression. There are a bevy of reasons for this—multiple head injuries, childhood trauma, deployment-related stuff, isolation, and whatever else. For years, I ignored it. I can’t be depressed. That’s for bored housewives and weak-minded people—flawed, ignorant thinking. That was me being “OK” to stay that way. I know that now, and I’m okay saying that sometimes I struggle with depression.
Now that I have accepted that I have bouts of depression, I can recognize when I might be slipping.

Here are a few of the markers indicating I need to address my mental health.
Overindulgence – alcohol and food.
Sedentariness – disconnecting with too much screen time. Movies, gaming, phone, etc.
Angry – Mad and snapping at people and loved ones for no reason.
Isolation – not answering the phone, skipping social events, etc.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, but mental health is not relegated to only May. It’s a year-round activity, but maybe you can use this month to become more self-aware and identify your own markers of less-than-optimal mental health. Use May as the springboard to better mental and physical health for the months and years to come.

I’m always here if you want to chat and remember.

It’s OK not to be OK. But it’s not OK to stay that way.

***de

30/04/2024

“I’m in my car. In the woods, drunk, I’m about to finish a bottle of vodka. I don’t know what to do. I’m about to end it.”

I received this call at 9 a.m. on a Tuesday. A service member was in need and in harm's way: a Ranger buddy and a friend.

“Get out of your car!” silence. “Get out of your car right now!”
“Okay, I’m out.”

“Grab the vodka and throw it into the woods. DO IT.”

“Okay, I just threw the bottle.”

I then proceeded to recite the Ranger Creed. After completing the creed, we talked for a while. I didn’t mince words—tough love, just like an after-action review after a combat operation. You must have thick skin and cover the uncomfortable parts of the mission. What went wrong? Who made bad decisions? You don’t do this to “call them out” or embarrass them; you do it so you do not repeat the same mistake twice.

Long story short, it’s been a rocky road, but my friend is in a much better place. I am grateful that I received that call on that Tuesday morning.

Never forget the creed. The creed has no less meaning or impact outside of the uniform. Arguably, it has more.

Tomorrow, as the calendar turns to May, we enter mental health awareness month. Make it a point to check in on a friend and provide some tough love if needed. I’m here for you if you need me.

***de

What I’ve been reading lately.Recently, a friend asked me, “What are you reading right now?” Before retiring from the 75...
26/03/2024

What I’ve been reading lately.

Recently, a friend asked me, “What are you reading right now?” Before retiring from the 75th Ranger Regiment, the answer would have included authors like Kerr, Covey, Brown, Duckworth, or Pressfield.

Today, the books look a little different. I am very grateful for my abundant time with my family. The ability to cook breakfast every morning, be at the bus stop every afternoon, the baseball/softball games, and tuck the kids in at night is priceless.

Suppose you want to take your foot off of the throttle when you retire from service. I have some unsolicited advice for you. Hint: involve your spouse in the planning.

1. Set your values. Write them down. Top of my list is family.

2. Start early, really early. We decided six years before my retirement to stabilize the kids in our current location. This allowed us to buy a “forever” home and allowed my wife the time to plan her career journey.

3. Budget, again, write it down. What do you need to survive, be comfortable, and thrive?

4. Start your military transition 24 months out. That includes a lot of stuff, but I believe a few take priority. Get your medical records in order. Attend at least one nonprofit transition program. Build a network of already-transitioned service members. Build a network of nonservice members. Educate yourself on the VA and the process for filing for VA benefits.

Own your journey. Also, don't forget there is an abundance of out here on the other side, willing to help you out.

Have a great day!

How do you go from being a 75th Ranger Infantry Team Leader to an ER Doctor? It takes a lot of hard work and sacrifice.R...
09/02/2024

How do you go from being a 75th Ranger Infantry Team Leader to an ER Doctor? It takes a lot of hard work and sacrifice.

Russell Pieper overcame every obstacle in his journey to becoming a doctor. He was wounded in Afghanistan, completed his studies while having a family, had marginal test scores, and the list goes on. Russell never gave up and is the epitome of "fight on to the Ranger objective."

This is a story everyone should hear. Link to the show in the comments.

What?! You still have not watched or listened to my conversation with Michael Scoutten on the Leading With Vulnerability...
17/01/2024

What?! You still have not watched or listened to my conversation with Michael Scoutten on the Leading With Vulnerability podcast. Luck for you; there's still time. Check the comments for the link to the show, and give the LVW LinkedIn page a follow. I drop some great content on there every day!

Thank you, Michael, for coming on the show!

16/01/2024

"Chaplain, it's all you."

Chaplains have a tough job. They have to be there for comrades and family during the worst days of their lives. The day they lose their son, husband, daughter, and friend. Tough, underappreciated job.

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Observable, Measurable, Repeatable Stop Soldier Suicide is precisely that. We can observe the great things they are doing. You can measure their impact through the data. And with our help, it is repeatable. For the remainder of May, I am raising money for Stop Soldier Suicide. The link to the fund raising page is in the comments. I need a founding donor! Ten cents or ten dollars, it doesn't matter. Have a great weekend and thank you for the support. #stopsoldiersuicide #mentalhealth

Lifelong learning. This is another great message for Don Barden. #leadership #lifelonglearning #bettertogether #transitioningmilitary

The gang assaults a castle. #75thrangerregiment #WinterStrike #Afghanistan #podcast #kantiwa

What is an entrepreneur? Again, you are missing out if you have not listened to my conversation with Don Barden. #entrepreneur #leadership #LeadershipJourney

Veterans can/do make great teachers. #veterans #teaching #transitioningmilitary #hardwork #75thrangerregiment

Leaving the military is hard. It doesn't matter if you are going into the NFL, Fort Living Room, or the corporate board room; it's hard. #militaryservice #militarytransition #leadership #stories #conversation

"Why we exist on the planet." #serveothers #service #leadership #leadershipdevelopment #LeadershipExcellence

One day, your career will end. When it does, what will you have left? Your family. Remember that. #family #75thrangerregiment #army #military #CorporateAmerica #whatsleft

Like Lee, I had a panic attack while in the transition process. It happened after this conversation, and because of this conversation, I sought the help I needed to get through it. It's okay. I don't feel like less of a man. I'm not ashamed. It's okay to not be okay. Reach out and talk with your buddies. #panicattacks #itsokaytonotbeokay #Rangerbuddy #mentalhealth

STAFF NERD!!! What is the job of the staff? I love Dan Ferriter! #military #leadership #ChiefOfStaff #staffnerd #gettoyes #75thrangerregiment

"Chaplain, it's all you." Chaplains have a tough job. They have to be there for comrades and family during the worst days of their lives. The day they lose their son, husband, daughter, and friend. Tough, underappreciated job. #Chaplains #military #kia #sacrifice

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