Leading With Vulnerability

13/05/2024

I kept my promise. If you missed it, I said I match donations to the Stop Soldier Su***de made today up to $500. You guys went above and beyond with over $1,000 today!

Thank you! Let's keep it going link in the comments!

13/05/2024

Let's make a deal. I need a founding donor for the Stop Soldier Su***de livestream on May 25th. What's the deal? I'll match what is donated today, up to $500.00. To be clear, that's $500 total; I'm a retired E8, not a retired 4-star.

Let's initiate movement, and thanks for the support!

Check the comments or message me for the donation link.

10/05/2024

Observable, Measurable, Repeatable

Stop Soldier Su***de is precisely that. We can observe the great things they are doing. You can measure their impact through the data. And with our help, it is repeatable.

For the remainder of May, I am raising money for Stop Soldier Su***de. The link to the fund raising page is in the comments. I need a founding donor! Ten cents or ten dollars, it doesn't matter.

Have a great weekend and thank you for the support.

06/05/2024

It’s OK not to be OK. But it’s not OK to stay that way.

I heard this from my pastor yesterday, and it hit me in all of the feels.

But it’s not OK to stay that way. The first step in my mental health starts with me. I never improve if I remain disconnected and never take the first step in asking for help. What is “help”? Help doesn't always mean that you need to go to a doctor, a therapist, or a rehab center. Help could be calling a friend or a loved one and confiding in them. Help could be getting a trainer or nutritionist to aid in curbing bad habits. Help can be realizing that you're heading down a dark path and helping yourself correct your course. Help can be a lot of things.

Okay, it's time for full transparency. I struggle with depression. There are a bevy of reasons for this—multiple head injuries, childhood trauma, deployment-related stuff, isolation, and whatever else. For years, I ignored it. I can’t be depressed. That’s for bored housewives and weak-minded people—flawed, ignorant thinking. That was me being “OK” to stay that way. I know that now, and I’m okay saying that sometimes I struggle with depression.
Now that I have accepted that I have bouts of depression, I can recognize when I might be slipping.

Here are a few of the markers indicating I need to address my mental health.
Overindulgence – alcohol and food.
Sedentariness – disconnecting with too much screen time. Movies, gaming, phone, etc.
Angry – Mad and snapping at people and loved ones for no reason.
Isolation – not answering the phone, skipping social events, etc.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, but mental health is not relegated to only May. It’s a year-round activity, but maybe you can use this month to become more self-aware and identify your own markers of less-than-optimal mental health. Use May as the springboard to better mental and physical health for the months and years to come.

I’m always here if you want to chat and remember.

It’s OK not to be OK. But it’s not OK to stay that way.

***de

30/04/2024

“I’m in my car. In the woods, drunk, I’m about to finish a bottle of vodka. I don’t know what to do. I’m about to end it.”

I received this call at 9 a.m. on a Tuesday. A service member was in need and in harm's way: a Ranger buddy and a friend.

“Get out of your car!” silence. “Get out of your car right now!”
“Okay, I’m out.”

“Grab the vodka and throw it into the woods. DO IT.”

“Okay, I just threw the bottle.”

I then proceeded to recite the Ranger Creed. After completing the creed, we talked for a while. I didn’t mince words—tough love, just like an after-action review after a combat operation. You must have thick skin and cover the uncomfortable parts of the mission. What went wrong? Who made bad decisions? You don’t do this to “call them out” or embarrass them; you do it so you do not repeat the same mistake twice.

Long story short, it’s been a rocky road, but my friend is in a much better place. I am grateful that I received that call on that Tuesday morning.

Never forget the creed. The creed has no less meaning or impact outside of the uniform. Arguably, it has more.

Tomorrow, as the calendar turns to May, we enter mental health awareness month. Make it a point to check in on a friend and provide some tough love if needed. I’m here for you if you need me.

***de

26/03/2024

What I’ve been reading lately.

Recently, a friend asked me, “What are you reading right now?” Before retiring from the 75th Ranger Regiment, the answer would have included authors like Kerr, Covey, Brown, Duckworth, or Pressfield.

Today, the books look a little different. I am very grateful for my abundant time with my family. The ability to cook breakfast every morning, be at the bus stop every afternoon, the baseball/softball games, and tuck the kids in at night is priceless.

Suppose you want to take your foot off of the throttle when you retire from service. I have some unsolicited advice for you. Hint: involve your spouse in the planning.

1. Set your values. Write them down. Top of my list is family.

2. Start early, really early. We decided six years before my retirement to stabilize the kids in our current location. This allowed us to buy a “forever” home and allowed my wife the time to plan her career journey.

3. Budget, again, write it down. What do you need to survive, be comfortable, and thrive?

4. Start your military transition 24 months out. That includes a lot of stuff, but I believe a few take priority. Get your medical records in order. Attend at least one nonprofit transition program. Build a network of already-transitioned service members. Build a network of nonservice members. Educate yourself on the VA and the process for filing for VA benefits.

Own your journey. Also, don't forget there is an abundance of out here on the other side, willing to help you out.

Have a great day!

09/02/2024

How do you go from being a 75th Ranger Infantry Team Leader to an ER Doctor? It takes a lot of hard work and sacrifice.

Russell Pieper overcame every obstacle in his journey to becoming a doctor. He was wounded in Afghanistan, completed his studies while having a family, had marginal test scores, and the list goes on. Russell never gave up and is the epitome of "fight on to the Ranger objective."

This is a story everyone should hear. Link to the show in the comments.

17/01/2024

What?! You still have not watched or listened to my conversation with Michael Scoutten on the Leading With Vulnerability podcast. Luck for you; there's still time. Check the comments for the link to the show, and give the LVW LinkedIn page a follow. I drop some great content on there every day!

Thank you, Michael, for coming on the show!

16/01/2024

"Chaplain, it's all you."

Chaplains have a tough job. They have to be there for comrades and family during the worst days of their lives. The day they lose their son, husband, daughter, and friend. Tough, underappreciated job.

04/01/2024

Unapologetically Authentic 📢
365 Days of Movement 🏋️‍♂️
Journal Daily 📖

Unapologetically Authentic. Although I am vocal in public and social media, I hold back many genuine thoughts and opinions. There are many reasons for this, but mainly because negative feedback puts me into an anger loop where I want to respond with violence, and that Yuma scares me. So, I will work on that version of myself this year.

365 Days of Movement. Walk, lift, hike, bike, or play for 40-60 minutes daily. I’m two years into my post-military life. Staying consistent with movement has been a challenge. This year, it’s a priority.

Journal Daily. I’ve journaled in the past and found great joy in the process. One day, I stopped and didn’t return. This year, I’m back.

My three focus areas for 2024.

One question for those who journal. Do you go somewhere for writing prompts when you are stuck and cannot think of anything?

Have a great 2024, and in the words of one of my most excellent mentors, Brett Johnson. “One shot, you have one shot at this day, this month, this year, make it a good one.”

01/01/2024

Pork on the egg, collard greens are simmering, and the black-eyed peas are on standby.

Big plans for 2024, but first, I'm going to smoke this butt.

Happy New Year to you all.

15/12/2023

Carlos Vasquez has an amazing story. It is a true testament that your past does not determine your future.

On this week's Leading With Vulnerability podcast, Carlos and I talk about his time in prison, a suicide-altering encounter with the prison chaplain, how he read 150 books in solitary confinement, and the similarities of military and prison transition to civilian life.

Please find the links to the show in the comments, and thank you, Carlos, for joining me on the show.

08/12/2023

Dave Taylor is one of the best commanders I was honored to serve with in the 75th Ranger Regiment, U.S. Army. He's also a top-notch person.

Dave is the type of leader you want to be around. Dave is just as comfortable discussing leadership and vulnerability as he is discussing NASCAR, mountaineering, and his beloved Dallas Cowboys. His love for the Cowboys might be his greatest flaw.
Dave, thanks for coming on the Leading With Vulnerability podcast. Check the comments for links to our conversation.

PLEASE SUBSCRIBE ON YOUTUBE I'M SOOOO CLOSE TO 500 🙏

05/12/2023

72,200 souls were lost forever.

During the Battle of the Atlantic, over 3,500 ships carrying millions of tons of cargo were sunk.

Until I watched the movie Greyhound, I did not know about this. In every war, there is a war within the war. Significant, heroic, and war-altering events happen that do not make the front page, just like in the movie.

The Battle of the Atlantic is one such event from WW II. For Vietnam, it might be the covert actions that occurred in Cambodia and Laos. During the 100-hour Gulf War, the fighting did not entirely cease at the 100-hour mark. During Iraq and Afghanistan, the daily task of route clearance cost many lives but saved countless others, including mine, I am sure.

This is why telling stories is so important. The sacrifices and innovation that come from the wars within wars are important. The stories of those who lived through and did not live through them are important.

While watching Greyhound, I was deeply moved. I also gained a new perspective on WW II and the reason for Allied success.
All this is to remind you that your story matters, no matter how insignificant your contribution may feel. It matters.

I want to say thank you to all of the route clearance teams, engineers, EOD service members, drone pilots, intelligence personnel, cargo ship captains, flight crews, and countless other personnel. Thank you for doing the jobs that don’t always get the movie and book deals. Thank you, and share your story; it’s important.

02/12/2023

Are you looking for a podcast to listen to on your Saturday morning?

I've got you covered. Check out the Leading With Vulnerability podcast and my conversation with Michael G Halterman. Halty is a retired Marine and one of my favorite people. He shares some great stories about his time in the Marines and what he is doing now with The Honor Foundation.

PSA: No crayons were harmed during the recording or production of this interview. 😂

Link to the show in the comments.

29/11/2023

It's not about the hunting. It's about self-care.

When the Army took me out of New Mexico and planted me in Georgia, I could not wrap my head around hunting in the South.

Growing up, I chased Elk and Mule Deer in the Rocky Mountains. I was climbing mountains on foot and horseback. Spotting game from miles away, then pursuing that bull or buck for hours or days.

Now I'm in Georgia. Pine trees, river bottoms, lucky to see 100 yards. Climbing into a tree or blind to sit for hours waiting on the deer didn't appeal to my Western upbringing.

Fast forward a few years, and after about ten combat deployments. I decided to give Southern hunting a try.

I went all in on gear and equipment. I joined a lease and learned all I could about deer hunting in the South. I realized it was much more complex than just sitting In a tree. It's about working the land, creating habits, and getting to know the deer on your property.

I remember my first sit in the tree stand. It was after a particularly challenging week of training. I rose early, arrived at the lease, walked the swap to my climber, shimmied 25 feet up a Georgia oak tree, and sat silently for five hours.

My senses tuned into every snapping twig and rustle of squirrels. About three hours in I had a sudden realization.

I'm at total peace. A peace I hadn't felt in years. With all the deployments, marriage, leadership changes, paperwork, and the list goes on. Peaceful moments were few and far between.

But now, at this moment. Total peace. I'm in tune with nature and everything it has to offer: the sights, the sounds, and the smells. My anxiety about the world just melted away. I don't think it's a stretch to say deer hunting saved my life.

This year, I haven't been in the woods as much as usual. The tyranny of the now once again grabbed me in its dirty tentacles.

Over the last few weeks, I noticed I was heading to a dark place. I happened to be in the garage and saw my hunting bag. I took it as a sign to head to the woods.

I did. I went to the woods, climbed a tree, and sat. The grip of the now loosened.

Peace.

I challenge you all to find your peace, and I recommend it has something to do with nature.

Nature heals.

Have a good one and happy hunting.

29/11/2023

From age 19 to age 40, this was my life.

I'm kinda speechless after watching this.

Best job I ever had.

To our GWOT Veterans—if you feel today like it was all for nothing, know this:Because of you, we have everything. Every opportunity, every chance to compete,...

23/11/2023

Thankful for you!

17/11/2023

Let's talk about leadership.

During my 20+ years in the Army and the 75th Ranger Regiment, I learned a lot about leadership. During that time, I narrowed it down to five things I needed to do daily to succeed. I frequently failed one or all of my own rules, and that's okay. Tomorrow is a new day.

Give this week's Leading With Vulnerability podcast a listen. Do you agree with my five rules? What would you do differently? I want your feedback; give me your AAR of my five rules (After Action Review Rule #5).

Link to the show in the comments.

10/11/2023

“When you're a leader, a senior leader, you can just give people the answers to the test, okay, but what you're doing is you're robbing them of professional development.”

I had another excellent conversation with someone I am fortunate to call a friend.

Listen to Mike Burke, and I chat about leadership, vulnerability, transition, and life on the Leading With Vulnerability podcast.

Links to the show in the comments, and if you check it out on YouTube, please hit the subscribe button. I'm sooo close to 500, thank you.

And thank you, Mike!!! Mike S Burke

10/11/2023

Watch from the 20-minute mark! Great interview.

I had a realization yesterday while thinking about this war.
Where is the Palestinian front? Where are the Palestinian freedom fighters? Where are the Palestinians that are fighting to expel Hamas?

I fought with fellow Afghans in Afghanistan against ISIS and the Taliban. I shared patrols with Iraq Army soldiers in Mosul while we hunted down targets—same story in Syria.

There have always been freedom fighters and those who resist. Not here, not that I have heard. Have you?

Are all Palestinians complicit in these acts of barbarism? Are they too weak to fight back? Too scared?

I have my assumptions, but I ask anyone who reads this. Are there Palestineins fighting alongside Israel in any capacity in this conflict? Leading With Vulnerability

Watch Piers Morgan's explosive interview with author and journalist Douglas Murray on the Israel-Gaza border.Douglas Murray says evidence of Hamas's October ...

09/11/2023

True statement.

08/11/2023

Lee Garcia, you can’t just post about my news spot without mentioning your own.

Lee is long overdue for recognition for the great things he does and provides for our community.

Next time any of you see him be sure to get an autograph. He’s local news famous now. Foundation Training Facility, LLC

07/11/2023

03/11/2023

From the French Foreign Legion to the 75th Ranger Regiment.

That's an easy headline to type. It is not an easy thing to do. Andres Montenegro has an amazing story. AMAZING.

It's a two-part episode, and I'll provide links to both in the comments. Before I get any more comments like "Let him talk and tell his story," yes, I cut him off a couple of times and redirected the conversation. I hate doing that, but until a magic fairy starts, scripting, recording, producing, editing, sound engineering, publishing, and promoting the show, I'll have to steer conversation and stories occasionally. On the other hand, I'll try to do better; thanks for the feedback.

Monty, thanks for sharing your story.

Thanks for the listening and the support.

20/10/2023

Leadership rule number three, measured response.

Now that we have applied rules one and two show up and listen. It’s time to reply with caveats, of course.

3. Measured Response

a. You don't have to reply immediately. If you need time to gather facts, that's okay.
b. Avoid knee-jerk reactions. Reference a.
c. Remove emotion from your response
d. If you do not have or cannot find the answer. It's okay to bring in someone with more experience
e. Ask for more information before. Don't make assumptions

I'm umwaiverable regarding rules #1&2, but maybe your number three is different.

I throw it to the group. What say you?

19/10/2023

The number two rule of leadership is to listen.

Number two also comes with a set of caveats.

2. Listen

a. Listen to hear, not to reply
b. Make eye contact when possible
c. Let the speaker finish
d. Listen with your eyes, not only to the speaker but to others present
e. Don’t feel the need to reply immediately

In the military, when entering a new area, reason immaterial, we conducted SLLS. Stop, look, listen, smell.

SLLS applies to leadership and listening.

Stop, and give the moment/situation your undivided attention.

Look, what do you see around you? What does the body language of the person or people tell you? What does the environment tell you?

Listen, be interested, not interesting.

Smell, yes, smell. Smells can tell you a lot. Is the person you are engaging with drunk, high, or just had a smoke break? Is the environment clean and safe?

I could go into more detail, but you all get the point.

What did I miss?

17/10/2023

Number one rule of leadership.

1. Show up.

Yup, that’s rule number one. Two words, but it comes with a few subtasks, and if you neglect the subtasks, you should have stayed home.

1. Show up.
a. Sober
b. Open-minded
c. Prepared
d. Informed
e. Rested
f. Physically fit

If you show up hungover, closed-minded, unprepared, clueless, tired-eyed, an unapproachable know-it-all Jack 🫏, and so out of shape that the elevator being out almost put you in the hospital.

This is not showing up. This bad leadership and we all know this person.

What did I miss?

16/10/2023

This is a leader.

1. If you have yet to listen to part one of my conversation with Al Pertuz, you should.
2. If you are not beating down his door to get a leader of his caliber on your team, you should.

Al, thank you for coming on the show. Show links in the comments.