The Silent Why Podcast

12/09/2025

Herman and I think more than a few of us need this reminder right now: It’s gonna be ok. 💙

If you're on social media (especially if you have to be), this week (this year even!) has probably felt like a heavy one.

Our world feels like it’s crumbling, and for many of us, that’s heartbreaking. 💔

We fought so hard for freedom of speech, yet now we shut each other down with hurtful words.
We say we want people to live authentically, but only if it matches OUR definition.
We used to grieve every loss of life, yet now our empathy seems conditional on beliefs and differences.
We used to value healthy debate, yet now we treat different opinions as enemies.

These are losses, and for many of us it prompts grief.

Worse still, in the rush to be 'right', so many people are scaring others into silence. People are afraid to speak up now, because the backlash today is so quick, and so harsh. This isn’t how a healthy society works, and it will have consequences. Every individual has the right to believe what they believe. When did we forget that?

So if you’re feeling alone this week, isolated by the noise, please remember this: the loudest voices online are rarely the majority. Behind the chaos, there are millions of quiet souls who still believe in truth, kindness, love, and respect.

And, believe it or not, there are still those out there who hold opposing views, yet refuse to let that stand in the way of friendship, love, kindness or empathy. 💪

There’s a song I love by Brooke Fraser (Calvary’s Enough) with these lines:

“The weight of the world, too much for the souls of men…
The world is broken, but all is not lost.”

They've never felt more true.

And that’s what I want to leave with you today: all is not lost. 💙

It’s ok if the chaos feels like too much for your soul to carry right now, but this is not the end, and we’re here to remind you: it’s gonna be ok.

There are still so many good humans (and Hermans) out there.

You are not alone. 😉

And if you need your own personal Herman to remind you of that - you know where to go 😁 www.thehermancompany.com

[Posting this many images works better on Instagram, but I thought you guys over here should see them too! 😄]

02/09/2025

🎙️NEW EPISODE OUT 🎧

This one’s a little different. No blog, no interview, no Chris, and no talk about loss. Just me, giving you a behind-the-scenes look at how this podcast actually gets made.

I’m answering questions I often get asked, like:
📝 What takes the time to produce an episode?
💰 Does it make money?
🔍 How do I find guests?

If you’ve ever wondered what goes into hosting, producing, and publishing a podcast, or if you’ve thought about starting your own, this episode will give you a clear picture of the time, effort, and costs of running a podcast. Plus, all the lessons I’ve learned along the way.

Once again, a big thanks to all of you who support this show and keep it going - whether financially or by listening. ❤️ You guys are the best!

🎧 Listen now:
https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7d3dcd96/behind-the-scenes-how-i-put-together-a-podcast-episode

01/09/2025

I've just made a decision.
I'm going to send out a newsletter tomorrow. This doesn't happen very often! 😆
If you're not on the mailing list - sign up quick:

Subscribe to The Silent Why newsletter to receive news, updates and announcements, plus a good ol' shot of hope.

31/08/2025

What an honour to be part of this...

20/08/2025

🎙️ NEW-ISH EPISODE OUT NOW 🎙️

How do we accept, and live with, a life we never really wanted?

👂 Listen here (with extra update intro): https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7ef326a3/blog-rewind-my-why-accepting-a-life-i-dont-want

👀 Read (with video links mentioned): https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/acceptingalifeidontwant

If you've been around the podcast for a while, you'll know that I usually take a quick break from podcasting in August, but this year is very different - the intro on this episode tells you why.

So, instead of not putting an episode out, I decided to re-release the most listened-to blog episode I’ve ever done - and apparently, it's this one!

Tackling thing like:
✨ What if life never turns out the way I hoped?
✨ Which highway am I currently on? (this makes no sense unless you listen 😉)
✨ Is it even possible to accept a life I don't want?
✨ What happens if I don't?!

Grieving the life you imagined, and learning to embrace the one you have, is tender, messy, and ongoing. I don’t have all the answers, (in fact I listened to it last night to try and encourage myself again because I'm still not there!! 😆), but I do know acceptance is a vital step to keep in mind if we want to keep moving forward. 💛

Listen now - wherever you get your podcasts.

Join 70M+ creators and sell, share & curate everything you do online. One bio link—your Linktree—brings it all together for your audience.

15/08/2025

As exam results roll out across the UK, not everyone is celebrating.
For some, results day is a moment of loss.

I remember standing in my school, holding the grade paper. My friends whooped over their A’s, securing their universities, and I just wanted to disappear. My mum asked me recently, “We lost you after you picked up your results – where did you go?” Truth is, I’m not sure. I only remember the humiliation and sense of failure as I escaped the question, “What did you get?”

If you know someone in that boat – let them grieve. Resist the “Plan B” pep talks. Don’t buoy them along with “maybe you can resit” or “well, you could do this instead.” Let them sit in the sadness first. Take them out for food to commiserate, find out how they're feeling, or give them space. Decisions about their future can wait. You might see the bigger picture, but they can’t yet.

To those who are hurting: these moments might feel life-defining, but they aren’t life-destroying. Yes, grades matter, but they’re not the whole story. What matters most is becoming who you were made to be: someone kind, resilient, loving, rooted in hope, someone who knows faith, the strength of bouncing back, and the value of loving others.

I didn’t get the grades I wanted. My career hasn’t gone as I imagined. I’m not the mother I thought I’d be, and my health is far from “peak.” And yet – my life still holds meaning, and hope 😉. Sometimes I have to dig deep to find it! But I can promise you: none of it depends on my A-level grades.

Grief is sharpest at the start, so be sad for a few days.

For those who didn’t revise - regret is its own kind of grief. That teen who just shrugged and said, “oh well”, might still be struggling inside, especially when friends are celebrating.

If we’d had kids collecting results, I’d be looking for those hiding tears behind a smile – because I know that feeling. And yes, I’d have a basket of Hermans for anyone who needed a little hope. 💙
[Pop over to www.thehermancompany.com if someone you know could use one.]

So amid all the proud, smiling photos this week, if you're feeling sad, and you need to blow a raspberry at those posts… go for it.

12/08/2025

Want to Hear the Whole Story of Hope After Su***de Widowhood?

If today’s message touched something deep in you, I’d love to invite you into a raw, Holy-Spirit-led conversation I shared on The Silent Why podcast.

In this episode, I open up about:

-Walking through su***de loss and survivor’s guilt
-Remarrying and blending families
-Learning to live surrendered and fully present- not just fearing more loss
-What hope actually looks like after devastation

It’s for any widow wondering if it’s really possible to feel God, rebuild life, and experience joy again.

🎧 Listen now:

https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7befff74/lets-chat-finding-hope-as-a-widow-rachel-powell

(You’ll also find free widow resources linked there!)

You don’t have to navigate this valley alone anymore, sister.

With you,
Rachel ❤️‍🔥

05/08/2025

🎧 New Episode Out Today!
Let’s chat… about finding hope after feeling completely hopeless.
https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7befff74/lets-chat-finding-hope-as-a-widow-rachel-powell

Grief definitely doesn't have a roadmap - but stories like this can light the way. 🕯️

In this week’s Let’s Chat episode, I speak with Rachel Powell, a life coach, speaker, author, and founder of Hope Speaker, who helps widows move from overwhelming loss to purposeful healing.

Rachel’s journey began in heartbreak, losing her husband to su***de in 2019 and suddenly becoming a solo parent to four young children. She opens up about the emotional toll of that loss, including her own battle with suicidal thoughts.

But this is also a story about resilience, faith, and hope.

I also chat about the role Rachel’s faith played in her healing (a powerful reminder that faith in God doesn’t guarantee an easier path), why she now supports other widows through their darkest seasons, and how she found a new sense of direction after deep despair.

This one is raw, real, and filled with wisdom, not just for those who’ve experienced partner loss, but for anyone navigating life after loss.

🎧 Listen to the full conversation wherever you get your podcasts.
📌 For the free resources we mention, and more about Rachel, visit the links in the show notes.

22/07/2025

🎧 NEW EPISODE OUT NOW 🎙️

🕊️ “Grief isn’t sad – because it reminds you to make the most of today.”

https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7db28ec5/loss-64101-loss-of-a-wife-richard-smith

In this episode, we explore Loss #64 of 101: Loss of a wife.

After losing his wife, Heather, to breast cancer, Richard was left navigating life as a solo parent to three grieving children. Eleven years on, he shares how his grief has evolved, what it’s taught him, and why he no longer believes grief is a sad word (even though it does bring sadness).

Richard also explains what it means to carry someone’s presence with you, even after they're gone, and how he keeps Heather's presence alive in a way that continues to shape his life today.

This is a powerful and thought-provoking conversation with a truly unique perspective on grief. I’m really excited for you to hear it, especially as it explores a kind of loss many of us deeply fear: the loss of a partner. It might even just shift the way you see grief.

Tap the link in bio to listen — and discover why grief might just be one of life’s greatest teachers.

For more on Richard and the blog he mentioned, visit the podcast shownotes.

21/07/2025

Continued from the last post… 🎬

If you're a listener of the podcast, you'll know we ask all our guests if they've ever asked the question 'why?' in their grief. It’s something people often assume everyone wrestles with - that classic image of someone raising their fists to the sky, shouting “WHHHHY?!” into the ether. But in reality, not everyone experiences grief that way. Some ask and never stop wondering, some ask and then find a kind of peace, and many never ask it at all. So often in grief, we know the how, where, when and who of our loss, but the why... the answer to that question often remains silent (hence the podcast name!).

That said, if there’s ever been a moment on screen where that question is handled masterfully in grief, it’s the funeral scene from Steel Magnolias, which I shared in the last post. And what’s so beautiful about this film is what happens after that intense outpouring - a quiet, tender moment between M'Lynn (Sally Field) and Truvy (Dolly Parton) that has stayed with me ever since. I’ve even mentioned it on the podcast before:

M'Lynn: “I shouldn’t have gone on the way I did. I made everybody cry. I’m sorry.”
Truvy (in her wonderful Dolly accent): “Don’t be silly. Laughter through tears is my favourite emotion.”

That line hit me the first time I heard it - and it still feels special.
It's not referring to happy tears, but deep sadness mixed with unexpected laughter.
It’s a kind of emotional honesty that’s rare and beautiful.

I’ve experienced it myself - crying hard, completely overwhelmed, and then, right at the end, my husband does or says something that makes me laugh. And somehow… it shifts the grief. Not away, but alongside something lighter. Something healing.

That’s what I love about this film, the raw, funny, touching connection between these women as they navigate life: loss, love, illness, bad hair days, manicures, new life, death, and friendship.

If you haven’t seen Steel Magnolias, I can’t recommend it enough.
Just… bring tissues. Lots of them. :)

21/07/2025

If you instantly recognise this movie, and this scene, you already know why I’m posting it. 😉

If not, watch this 7-minute clip of it:
🎥 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYqnMDANJSY

It’s from the timeless film Steel Magnolias, a powerful story of friendship, love, and loss.

I had to share a still from this moment because, in my opinion, this is one of the most honest portrayals of grief ever captured on screen. I first saw it as a teen, and it’s stuck with me ever since.

In this scene, M'Lynn (Sally Field, in an unforgettable performance) is at the funeral of her daughter Shelby (Julia Roberts), who has died from diabetes complications, leaving behind a young son and husband.

When Annelle (Daryl Hannah) offers a few words of religious comfort, M'Lynn responds graciously at first:

"Thank you, Annelle. I appreciate that. Shelby wouldn't want us to get mired down and wallow in this. We should handle it the best way we know how and get on with it. That's what my mind says. I wish somebody would explain it to my heart."

She then reflects, with heart-breaking clarity:

"I realise, as a woman, how lucky I am. I was there when that wonderful creature drifted into my life, and I was there when she drifted out. It was the most precious moment of my life."

And then, the raw, painful outpouring of grief that makes this scene so unforgettable:

"I'm fine.. I'm FINE! I could jog all the way to Texas and back, but my daughter can't!... Oh God, I'm so mad I don't know what to do! I wanna know why! I wanna know WHY Shelby's life is over...
Why? Lord, I wish I could understand! No. NO! It's not supposed to happen this way, I'm supposed to go first! I've always been ready to go first! I don't think I can take this!... I just wanna hit somethin'! I just wanna hit somebody.. till they feel as bad as I do! I just wanna hit something! I wanna hit it HARD!" [sobs]

Then, in a wonderful moment of friendship, her friend does something to make them all laugh. :')

This scene is everything: rage, heartbreak, helplessness, love, loss, friendship, and screaming 'why?!' - not all why's are silent. 😉

It’s one of the most honest depictions of losing a child I’ve ever seen.

📌 Continued in the next post...

10/07/2025

🎙️ NEW MINI EPISODE OUT NOW 🎙️
https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/811754b8/the-even-more-silent-why-and-the-mediterranean-sea

Life feels a bit chaotic, doesn’t it? 🌪️ Sometimes, we just need a moment to pause and breathe.

That’s why I’ve created these very short episodes, which are designed to help you hit pause and recharge.

✨ In less than 7 minutes:

- Join me (Claire Sandys, podcast host) in an imaginary escape.
- Spend 2 minutes just for you.

️🥵 And this episode is very well timed for those of us in the scorching heat of the UK - because I want you to join me by the cool Mediterranean sea for a few minutes. 🌊

Take a break. You deserve it. 💛