The Silent Why Podcast

30/09/2025

🎙️ NEW EPISODE OUT NOW 🎧

This week's episode is a little different, because not only did we record it in an unusual location, about an unusual topic, but it's also the last episode before we head off on an Ozzie adventure!

https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7e072b22/chris-and-claire-chat-oz-mini-mics-bin-chickens-and-a-special-form

In this chat, we explain why our regular fortnightly episodes are pausing for the rest of the year - but also why this doesn't necessarily mean we'll be going silent either.

Aaand, we’d love your input. So we’re asking you to answer one anonymous question on a special form (link in the show notes). 📝

Your response will shape what we do on the podcast over the coming weeks. 💬

So, tune in, join the adventure, and be part of what’s ahead.

25/09/2025

Exactly 4 years ago today, in September 2021, we hesitantly posted the trailer for The Silent Why podcast... and our podcasting journey began.

Since then:
🎙️ We've released 228 episodes
🌍 We've had 44,000 downloads from 137 countries/territories (20 new ones since last year) and 3,567 cities (723 more than last year). People have downloaded our podcast in Europe, North America, South America, Oceania, Asia and Africa.
💰 The podcast has continued to financially support itself, thanks to the extreme kindness of others through Buy Me a Coffee & The Herman Company.

It's been an amazing journey so far, filled with many highs, some lows, and lots of 'could I do more on social media?' guilt! 🤣

Our next 101 Loss Episode will be Loss 66 on our mission to find 101 different types of loss, and that will be out next year in 2026! (Find out more about why in next Tuesday's episode.)

We continue to be inspired, encouraged and challenged by our amazing guests - so thank you to all of them. And thank you to anyone that's been a part of the podcast in any way. We are so grateful and humbled that so many people choose our platform to share on, to listen to, and to invest in.

If you'd like to help me celebrate this anniversary:

☕ You can buy me a fancy tea through Buy Me a Coffee [www.buymeacoffee.com/thesilentwhy] as a one-off, or regular supporter (from as little as £3 a month).

📝You can leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, they are hugely important for helping others find us.

🗣️ Or you can share an episode with a friend that needs some hope.

You can also buy a Herman, but you'd have to get in quick because sales of those are stopping in a couple of weeks for the rest of the year (more on that in our next episode).

Thank you to everyone that's ever been involved with the podcast or contacted us in any capacity - yes, even you podcast-promoter-spam-people 😘.

And a huge shout out to my amazing husband, co-host, and Senior Editor 😉, Chris Sandys - for letting me try this journey instead of a 'normal' job 😘.

Here's to the next year 🥂

23/09/2025

On Sunday, at our little Cotswold village church in England, a mother and daughter walked in for the first time, because of Charlie Kirk.

There's a chapter in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (CS Lewis) called 'The Dark Island', and that's where the quote above comes from. A lot of us feel like we live on a Dark Island (and I don't just mean the UK!) and the thing we are often lacking to change it? Courage.

Courage: 'the ability to do something that frightens.'

Many of us (over 40!) here in Europe, had never heard of Charlie Kirk until the news of his brutal death hit our news, or his killing hit our eyes unexpectedly on social media.

The next question - Who is this guy?

It's not hard to find out, because you quickly see that Charlie was someone with courage. His views, his voice and his beliefs are easy to discover, and many of us are now fascinated by a man who speaks so passionately about what he wanted to change, and by his rare ability to debate those who disagreed with him.

Whoever said this, was right:
'If you think you've silenced Charlie Kirk's voice with his death, you're wrong. You've amplified it.'
Millions who had never heard of him are now seeking him out to hear what he had to say - and some of them, for the first time, are walking into churches.

People are now asking - Why do WE find it so hard to speak up about what we believe?

And Charlie is a great example of the answer. Charlie was a Christian, he was shot for what he stood for, and people celebrated his death. That's why it's hard. It's scary.

There is a HUGE loss in our culture, highlighted by Charlie's death - the loss of empathy. How on earth have we reached a place in the West where we think a different viewpoint should deserve death?!

We should be dying to allow people to speak out - not killing those that do.

I'm so grateful for Erika Kirk and her courageous decision to choose to forgive Tyler Robinson - never underestimate how hard that will have been to reach that point. This is the kind of courage we need more of.

So much grief in the world, but courage, dear heart - this is not the end of the story. 😉

22/09/2025

A great example of the grief we can often overlook in a situation like this.

Two Fathers – Two Fates – One Pain.
One mourns his son in grief, the other urged his son to surrender to prevent more bl00dshed.
And today, fate has left them both with the same unbearable loss…
Oпe father lost his soп to violeпce.
The other father lost his soп becaυse of violeпce.
Differeпt paths. Opposite fates. Bυt the same tragic eпd..... loosiпg a child forever.
For Kirk’s family, the loss of a beloved soп left a hole that will пever heal. For Robiпsoп’s family, the loomiпg death peпalty promises to take their soп away forever.
From a father’s perspective, both meп пow walk the same path of grief. Both are victims of a tragedy that пo oпe coυld have imagiпed.
Thoυgh oп opposite sides, they are υпited iп grief—two fathers who have both lost everythiпg.
Αпd perhaps, the least we caп do, as hυmaп beiпgs, is to offer a prayer.
Α prayer for the father robbed of his iппoceпt soп.
Α prayer for the father who mυst live with the shame of his child’s crime.
Α prayer for the mothers, wives, sibliпgs, aпd childreп left behiпd iп tears.
Becaυse after all the politics, all the debates, aпd all the oυtrage, what remaiпs is this: two fathers, two fates, oпe paiп.

17/09/2025

🎧 NEW EPISODE OUT NOW 🎙️

Is the grief of losing a friend overlooked in our culture? 💔
https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/8001cbdc/loss-65101-loss-of-a-friend-hannah-rumsey

This week, we talk with Hannah Rumsey, founder of Friends Missing Friends, a community she created after losing her best friend, Lauren, very suddenly in 2015.

In this conversation, we explore the deep bond Hannah and Lauren shared, why friend-loss grief often feels invisible or minimised, and the surprising ways healing and hope can unfold

This is a heartfelt, honest conversation about a form of grief that’s rarely acknowledged, yet touches countless lives. Friend loss can also be categorised as disenfranchised grief, a grief that isn’t fully recognised or supported in our society, and together we explore why that is, and why it's important to give ourselves permission to feel what we truly need to feel.

To find out more about Hannah, Friends Missing Friends, and her podcast, visit www.friendsmissingfriends.com or the podcast show notes.

🎧 Listen now wherever you get your podcasts.

Plus, find out why this is going to be our last 101 Loss episode of 2025.

15/09/2025

It's World Childless Week.
What's that? I hear you say. 👇

"World Childless Week was founded to give a voice to the childless community; it’s a place to find support, understanding and validation. The week comprises of real-life stories: how we became childless, the words and situations that hurt, the grief we have faced, rediscovering our worth and celebrating new joys. It is a week to express ourselves in our own way, be that through the written word, art, creativity, song, dance or more. It is a week to say here I am, see me; and equally here is my story, but remain under the comfort of anonymity. World Childless Week is about sharing our stories with confidence." www.worldchildlessweek.net

reminds us we’re not alone.

There are webinars all week (don’t worry, cameras are off!) - so if you're facing childlessness (or know someone else that is), pop over and join in.

Chris & I found out in 2010 that having children wouldn't be straightforward for us, if it happened at all. Long story short - it didn't.
(If you listen to our podcast, you’ll know this hasn’t been an easy road, and we speak in detail about it in Ep 3 - link in bio).

BUT our podcast was born out of our childlessness. When we realised our grief was complicated and often hard to understand (after all, how do you grieve something you never had in the first place?), we concluded there must be others struggling in a similar way. What about the loss of a career, a marriage, a friend, a pet, a physical ability, an identity, a dream? So we started interviewing people - on a mission to find 101 different kinds of loss. To find out what hurt, what helped, and what brought hope. And we’ve learned so much from others’ grief.

Our podcast is something good that has been born from our childlessness, but life is still hard. The ache will always be there - for the children we’ll never have, and all the moments we miss because of that. 💔

Childlessness might never be 'easy' (neither is stamping 'childless' on a photo of you and your husband 😆), but finding others who 'get it' is such a blessing.

👉 Visit World Childless Week for more details.

12/09/2025

Herman and I think more than a few of us need this reminder right now: It’s gonna be ok. 💙

If you're on social media (especially if you have to be), this week (this year even!) has probably felt like a heavy one.

Our world feels like it’s crumbling, and for many of us, that’s heartbreaking. 💔

We fought so hard for freedom of speech, yet now we shut each other down with hurtful words.
We say we want people to live authentically, but only if it matches OUR definition.
We used to grieve every loss of life, yet now our empathy seems conditional on beliefs and differences.
We used to value healthy debate, yet now we treat different opinions as enemies.

These are losses, and for many of us it prompts grief.

Worse still, in the rush to be 'right', so many people are scaring others into silence. People are afraid to speak up now, because the backlash today is so quick, and so harsh. This isn’t how a healthy society works, and it will have consequences. Every individual has the right to believe what they believe. When did we forget that?

So if you’re feeling alone this week, isolated by the noise, please remember this: the loudest voices online are rarely the majority. Behind the chaos, there are millions of quiet souls who still believe in truth, kindness, love, and respect.

And, believe it or not, there are still those out there who hold opposing views, yet refuse to let that stand in the way of friendship, love, kindness or empathy. 💪

There’s a song I love by Brooke Fraser (Calvary’s Enough) with these lines:

“The weight of the world, too much for the souls of men…
The world is broken, but all is not lost.”

They've never felt more true.

And that’s what I want to leave with you today: all is not lost. 💙

It’s ok if the chaos feels like too much for your soul to carry right now, but this is not the end, and we’re here to remind you: it’s gonna be ok.

There are still so many good humans (and Hermans) out there.

You are not alone. 😉

And if you need your own personal Herman to remind you of that - you know where to go 😁 www.thehermancompany.com

[Posting this many images works better on Instagram, but I thought you guys over here should see them too! 😄]

02/09/2025

🎙️NEW EPISODE OUT 🎧

This one’s a little different. No blog, no interview, no Chris, and no talk about loss. Just me, giving you a behind-the-scenes look at how this podcast actually gets made.

I’m answering questions I often get asked, like:
📝 What takes the time to produce an episode?
💰 Does it make money?
🔍 How do I find guests?

If you’ve ever wondered what goes into hosting, producing, and publishing a podcast, or if you’ve thought about starting your own, this episode will give you a clear picture of the time, effort, and costs of running a podcast. Plus, all the lessons I’ve learned along the way.

Once again, a big thanks to all of you who support this show and keep it going - whether financially or by listening. ❤️ You guys are the best!

🎧 Listen now:
https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7d3dcd96/behind-the-scenes-how-i-put-together-a-podcast-episode

01/09/2025

I've just made a decision.
I'm going to send out a newsletter tomorrow. This doesn't happen very often! 😆
If you're not on the mailing list - sign up quick:

Subscribe to The Silent Why newsletter to receive news, updates and announcements, plus a good ol' shot of hope.

31/08/2025

What an honour to be part of this...

20/08/2025

🎙️ NEW-ISH EPISODE OUT NOW 🎙️

How do we accept, and live with, a life we never really wanted?

👂 Listen here (with extra update intro): https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7ef326a3/blog-rewind-my-why-accepting-a-life-i-dont-want

👀 Read (with video links mentioned): https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/acceptingalifeidontwant

If you've been around the podcast for a while, you'll know that I usually take a quick break from podcasting in August, but this year is very different - the intro on this episode tells you why.

So, instead of not putting an episode out, I decided to re-release the most listened-to blog episode I’ve ever done - and apparently, it's this one!

Tackling thing like:
✨ What if life never turns out the way I hoped?
✨ Which highway am I currently on? (this makes no sense unless you listen 😉)
✨ Is it even possible to accept a life I don't want?
✨ What happens if I don't?!

Grieving the life you imagined, and learning to embrace the one you have, is tender, messy, and ongoing. I don’t have all the answers, (in fact I listened to it last night to try and encourage myself again because I'm still not there!! 😆), but I do know acceptance is a vital step to keep in mind if we want to keep moving forward. 💛

Listen now - wherever you get your podcasts.

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