Down to a sunless sea: memories of my dad is a new podcast series from Getting Better Acquainted launching in 2020. https://podfollow.com/sunlesspod/view
Part of the series will be funded by the British Podcast Awards Fund and the Wellcome Trust.
Really lovely to get this shoutout for Down to a sunless sea from Martin Zaltz Austwick in Podcast the Newsletter https://podcastthenewsletter.substack.com/p/-the-real-hansel-and-gretel-rapa It’s a really great source of podcast recommendations and I recommend subscribing.
Since it’s why not listen to Down to a sunless sea: memories of my dad a podcast which among many other things looks at my dad’s experiences of living with dementia as well as covering depression, anxiety, trauma and suicidal ideation.
You can find it here: https://podfollow.com/sunlesspod/view or wherever you find your podcasts.
I think we need to be doing more than just telling people to talk, sharing our stories and raising awareness. Material assistance and systemic changes will help people much more. And I feel ambivalent about and similar awareness raising initiatives. But that said I do think there is some value in talking, sharing and awareness and so that’s why I’m putting out this post.
Just found out this cinema club is doing an evening about the films my dad made on Tuesday. Do tune in (or watch again) if you’re interested. I don’t know anything about Sands Film Studio and nor did the person who brought it to my attention but it will be interesting to hear their take on his films.
Celebrating the work of Peter Pickering
Film-maker who spent three decades documenting the lives of miners for the National Coal Board
On this episode of the brilliant Discovering Dementia podcast I spoke to Penny Bell about making the show. I also get really real about my specific experiences of caring for a parent living with .
Penny was the first guest funded by The Pulse Award that featured on the show. (The Pulse Award was created by British Podcast Awards and Wellcome Trust) and you can hear her talking about her podcast and experience of caring for a parent living with dementia in Episode 2 of Down to a sunless sea: memories of my dad.
Season 2 Episode 7 Dave Pickering: Documenting His Dad's Life Story and Dementia by Penny Bell
As with all of the episodes that focus on my dad’s life and our relationship the narration for this week’s finale was based on an essay I wrote. I published that piece earlier today on Medium:
An additional piece written at the end of completing a podcast series based on these medium pieces. General content note: death, dementia…
Episode 18 is now live. Find it wherever you find your podcasts.
https://podfollow.com/sunlesspod/view
http://downtoasunlesspod.com/
This episode is the last episode of the first (and possibly last) season of this show, and it's about legacy.
I’ve been planning this show for years. The earliest recording I’ve used was recorded by my dad on cassette tape in 1984. This show has covered 96 years of my dad’s life and 38 years of mine. I started recording interviews with my dad in 2011 and began writing essays about our relationship and his journey through old age towards death in 2017.
I’m glad I made this show. That it hasn’t just remained an imagined show. It’s been a tough journey at times, but it’s one I’m so glad I’ve made. Thanks for travelling on it with me.
Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: Pick-Art: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/
Thanks to Martin Zaltz Austwick for the advice, support and audio expertise.
And most of all to Peter Pickering who is very much a collaborator in this show, despite probably being now past the point of being able to understand it.
Episode 17 is now live. Find it wherever you find your podcasts.
https://podfollow.com/sunlesspod/view
http://downtoasunlesspod.com/
In the last full episode of the podcast using content funded by the British Podcast Awards and the Wellcome Trust I talk to counselor and psychotherapist Karen Po***ck MBACP (from Counselling In Northumberland) about grief and death. This is an episode about ways of thinking (and feeling) about bereavement, therapeutic approaches to change and loss, how the systems and attitudes around and inside us effect the ways we deal with difficult things, and so much more. It is the only episode of the show that doesn't feature my dad's voice but he is still very present in the conversation.
Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: Pick-Art: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/
Thanks to Martin Zaltz Austwick for the advice, support and audio expertise.
And most of all to Peter Pickering who is very much a collaborator in this show, despite probably being now past the point of being able to understand it.
Organisations including the Alzheimer's Society and Dementia UK have written to health secretary Matt Hancock saying this would allow people to visit their loved ones
Really nice animation Tony Pickering (Pick-Art) made from the artwork he made for the show:
Episode 16 is now live. Find it wherever you find your podcasts.
https://podfollow.com/sunlesspod/view
http://downtoasunlesspod.com/
But no matter what he forgets, it can’t take away the love we have shared, that existed, and will always have existed, even when he has forgotten it; even when he is no longer alive to remember it; even when I have forgotten it; even when I am no longer alive to remember it. It happened. And that has to be enough.
This episode is about movement, memory, change, time, distance, tears, connection, therapy, sadness, love, grief and everything else that can come in waves.
Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: Pick-Art: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/
Thanks to Martin Zaltz Austwick for the advice, support and audio expertise. And also for being the person who recorded the literal walk down to a sunless sea that happens in this episode.
And most of all to Peter Pickering who is very much a collaborator in this show, despite probably being now past the point of being able to understand it.
Lovely review/recommendation for the show from Miranda Sawyer in The Guardian: https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2020/jul/04/times-radio-launch-first-week-review-newsbeat-100-days-of-lockdown
“FaceTime with Dad” This has been the only way to talk to him for a while. And with Dementia it’s been difficult for him and the rest of us.
Episode 14 is now live. Find it wherever you find your podcasts.
https://podfollow.com/sunlesspod/view
http://downtoasunlesspod.com/
I realised that maybe our positions aren’t that different after all. And I wondered if, in the moments that I manage to believe in hope, I seem as inspiring and naïve as he does. It made me wonder if maybe the spark I see in him, that belief in people and ideas, if that isn’t also in me, despite my frequent feeling that it isn’t. If I might communicate that to other people regardless. If the world as humans know it lasts for long enough for me to reach a similar age as my dad, I wonder if I will be someone who frustrates and delights young people with my faith in them, whether I will still accept the possibility of hope and change?
This episode is about belief, hope and progress. It considers technological change, generational change, spiritual change and political change.
Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: Pick-Art: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/
Thanks to Martin Zaltz Austwick for the advice, support and audio expertise.
And most of all to Peter Pickering who is very much a collaborator in this show, despite probably being now past the point of being able to understand it.
Father’s Day is a complicated day for many people. Lot’s of people have complicated or absent relationships with their parents, or have lost a parent. Days bring up a lot. I’ve spent most of 2020 thinking about my dad because I’ve been making this show.
It’s a present for someone who can no longer open the present. It’s a love letter to someone who can no longer understand the writing. It’s a document of history, of science, of grief, and of love.
This podcast is about my dad, and me, and our relationship. It's also about death, old age, care, love, history, change, mental health, science, medicine, art, dementia and friendship. It brings together memoir, clips from over 10 years of recordings of my father, sound design, and interviews with e...
Episode 13 is now live. Find it wherever you find your podcasts.
https://podfollow.com/sunlesspod/view
http://downtoasunlesspod.com/
In the sixth full episode of the podcast using content funded by the British Podcast Awards and the Wellcome Trust I talk to sociologist Dr Gill Haddow about embodiment, replaceable hearts, everyday cyborgs, humanimals and unhealth. This is an episode about possible futures and how we feel about our bodies.
Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: Pick-Art: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/
Thanks to Martin Zaltz Austwick for the advice, support and audio expertise.
And most of all to Peter Pickering who is very much a collaborator in this show, despite probably being now past the point of being able to understand it.
Episode 12 is now live. Find it wherever you find your podcasts.
https://podfollow.com/sunlesspod/view
http://downtoasunlesspod.com/
I’m still pretty terrified of my dad stopping existing. He has been such a part of my life that it feels like a world without him in it is impossible. But ever since I was a child, I have been imagining that world. I’ve played out his death so many times. I’ve written it into fiction and songs. I’ve spent hours in my mind going through how it will be. What I might think and do. How it will affect me. How it will affect my family. And I’ve always thought it would probably happen soon. But it never has.
This episode is about confronting death and confronting love. It includes the story of my dad's war and of his heart attack and quadruple heart bypass.
It features a story my dad told live on the Spark True Stories stage.
Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: Pick-Art: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/
Thanks to Martin Zaltz Austwick for the advice, support and audio expertise.
And most of all to Peter Pickering who is very much a collaborator in this show, despite probably being now past the point of being able to understand it.
Episode 11 is now live. Find it wherever you find your podcasts.
https://podfollow.com/sunlesspod/view
http://downtoasunlesspod.com/
In the fifth full episode of the podcast using content funded by the British Podcast Awards and the Wellcome Trust I talk to psychologist and epidemiologist Dr Suzi Gage from the podcast Say Why to Drugs about researching recreational drugs and mental health.
Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: Pick-Art: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/
Thanks to Martin Zaltz Austwick for the advice, support and audio expertise.
And most of all to Peter Pickering who is very much a collaborator in this show, despite probably being now past the point of being able to understand it.
Episode 10 is now live. Find it wherever you find your podcasts.
https://podfollow.com/sunlesspod/view
http://downtoasunlesspod.com/
This episode is about creating things: imaginary worlds, homes and friendship. It's also about walls: drawing on walls, putting up boundaries, and pulling down the walls inside your mind and heart.
Pictures snatched from a couple of iterations of everybody’s wall.
Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: Pick-Art: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/
Thanks to Martin Zaltz Austwick for the advice, support and audio expertise.
And most of all to Peter Pickering who is very much a collaborator in this show, despite probably being now past the point of being able to understand it.
Episode 9 is now live. Find it wherever you find your podcasts.
https://podfollow.com/sunlesspod/view
http://downtoasunlesspod.com/
In the fourth full episode of the podcast using content funded by the British Podcast Awards and the Wellcome Trust I talk to health psychologist Professor Rory O'Connor about researching suicidal behaviour. And to historian Professor Julie Gottlieb about researching su***de increases in times of crisis, specifically during the "War of Nerves" (1938-1939) and the Munich Crisis (September/October 1938).
Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: Pick-Art: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/
Thanks to Martin Zaltz Austwick for the advice, support and audio expertise.
And most of all to Peter Pickering who is very much a collaborator in this show, despite probably being now past the point of being able to understand it.
Episode 8 is now live. Find it wherever you find your podcasts.
https://podfollow.com/sunlesspod/view
http://downtoasunlesspod.com/
When I made a show about my relationship with masculinity, I talked a lot about my mum and my stepdad, but my dad hardly featured at all.
When he did, he was a positive presence and represented an alternative version of masculinity. When you’re trying to condense your history into an hour-long show, you have to leave some bits out. But there’s also something inside me that doesn’t want to deconstruct my dad. I don’t want to mess too much with the positive parts of my childhood.
This episode is about masculinity, privilege and performance.
Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: Pick-Art: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/
Thanks to Martin Zaltz Austwick for the advice, support and audio expertise.
And most of all to Peter Pickering who is very much a collaborator in this show, despite probably being now past the point of being able to understand it.
Episode 7 is now live. Find it wherever you find your podcasts.
https://podfollow.com/sunlesspod/view
http://downtoasunlesspod.com/
It’s important to keep in mind that the story of my relationship with my dad is only one part of his life. It’s only one of the ways he has been a father: the context of my childhood has been very different from the context of my siblings’ childhoods. While he was retired for most of my life, for the rest of my siblings, he was someone who went out to work.
This episode is about friendship, parenting, love and care.
Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: Pick-Art: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/
Thanks to Martin Zaltz Austwick for the advice, support and audio expertise.
And most of all to Peter Pickering who is very much a collaborator in this show, despite probably being now past the point of being able to understand it.
Episode 6 is now live. Find it wherever you find your podcasts.
https://podfollow.com/sunlesspod/view
http://downtoasunlesspod.com/
In the third full episode of the podcast using content funded by the British Podcast Awards and the Wellcome Trust I talk to three doctors with different perspectives and experiences that inform their opinions around assisted dying and euthanasia, something my dad has long advocated for and wishes was available to him.
Dr Rob Jonquiere is the executive director of The World Federation of Right to Die Societies and formerly NVVE
Dr Jacqueline Davis chairs Healthcare Professionals for Assisted Dying which is part of UK organisation Dignity in Dying.
Dr Mark Pickering is chief executive officer of the Christian Medical Fellowship and part of UK organisation Care Not Killing.
Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: Pick-Art: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/
Thanks to Martin Zaltz Austwick for the advice, support and audio expertise.
And most of all to Peter Pickering who is very much a collaborator in this show, despite probably being now past the point of being able to understand it.
Episode 2 guest Penny Bell has started Discovering Dementia Season 2.
We are back for Season 2! It's been a while but Mum is doing well. Find out how she is doing and get an insight into the world of dementia research with Selena Milanovic, from the University of Oxf...
Episode 5 is now live.This episode is about memory, childhood, dementia and Citizen Kane and involves a literal roadtrip back to some of my dad's earliest memories. Find it wherever you find your podcasts.
https://podfollow.com/sunlesspod/view
http://downtoasunlesspod.com/
Memories are like desire paths: when you first walk down them, they are overgrown and full of details. The more you walk them, the more eroded they become; they are smoothed out and set. You get to what you remember more quickly, but what you remember has become something else. You no longer have to look for landmarks because there is a path for you to walk.
Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: Pick-Art: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/
Thanks to Martin Zaltz Austwick for the advice, support and audio expertise.
And most of all to Peter Pickering who is very much a collaborator in this show, despite probably being now past the point of being able to understand it.
Episode 4 is now live. In it I speak to two doctors about dementia. Find it wherever you find your podcasts.
https://podfollow.com/sunlesspod/view
http://downtoasunlesspod.com/
In the second full episode of the podcast using content funded by the British Podcast Awards and the Wellcome Trust I talk to Dr Jonathan Huntley from UCL about the work he is doing looking into awareness in people living with advanced dementia. And to Dr Daniel Davis from UCLH - University College London Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust about the work he is doing looking at how delirium and dementia impact society and health at a population level.
Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: Pick-Art: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/
Thanks to Martin Zaltz Austwick for the advice, support and audio expertise.
And most of all to Peter Pickering who is very much a collaborator in this show, despite probably being now past the point of being able to understand it.
Episode 3 is now live. This episode is about time travel, death, dementia and love.
https://podfollow.com/sunlesspod/view
http://downtoasunlesspod.com/
Time is the longest distance between two places.
Even when we are no longer here, we are always in time.
As well as some of the earliest clips of my dad from Getting Better Acquainted this episode also uses a lot from some of the most recent recordings of my dad from The Family Tree.
Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: Pick-Art: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/
Thanks to Martin Zaltz Austwick for the advice, support and audio expertise.
And most of all to Peter Pickering who is very much a collaborator in this show, despite probably being now past the point of being able to understand it.
Episode 2 is now live. It’s an introduction to my dad, and to me, and to the show. Find it wherever you find your podcasts.
https://podfollow.com/sunlesspod/view
http://downtoasunlesspod.com/
In the first full episode of the podcast using content funded by the British Podcast Awards and the Wellcome Trust I talk to fellow Pulse Award recipient and podcaster Penny Bell.
We compare notes on documenting a parent living with dementia, and discuss the similarities and differences between our parents' experience of, and attitude towards, dementia.
You can find Penny's podcast Discovering Dementia wherever you get your podcasts.
Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: Pick-Art: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/
Thanks to Martin Zaltz Austwick for the advice, support and audio expertise. And to Penny for not only being a brilliant guest but also letting me use clips from her show and arranging to record her mum playing piano for me during a pandemic.
And most of all to Peter Pickering who is very much a collaborator in this show, despite probably being now past the point of being able to understand it.
(I didn't get any pictures of Penny or me and Penny together when I traveled to record her in the time before the lockdown but I did get lots of pictures of her dogs!)
Episode 1 is now live. It’s an introduction to my dad, and to me, and to the show. Find it wherever you find your podcasts.
https://podfollow.com/1502257373
http://downtoasunlesspod.com/
A document is a piece of evidence; a record; a proof of something. By this definition, we are all living documents, documents that may or may not be lost to history. What parts of us are recorded? What parts of us are seen?
We record our lives and the lives of others, using our memory and our technology. We choose what to record, how we record it and how we present it, sometimes consciously and sometimes subconsciously. We don’t always fully choose because we can only work with what we have; sometimes our choices are more restricted than others. We are all documents; we are all documenters; we are all Documentary Makers.
The clips in this show were mostly taken from the archive of material gathered on Getting Better Acquainted. With some clips being from The Family Tree Cuttings.
Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: Pick-Art: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/
Thanks to Martin Zaltz Austwick for the advice, support and audio expertise. Also to British Podcast Awards and
Wellcome Trust who funded some of the content in this episode.
And most of all to Peter Pickering who is very much a collaborator in this show, despite probably being now past the point of being able to understand it.
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