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Above the Fray is a weekly podcast where we share advice on parenting, marriage, and life. We strive
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18/11/2023

In the heat of a disagreement, it's so easy for the "old self" to sneak back in and make a mess of things. Don't let it. Learn the art of disagreeing without being disrespectful.

“Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭12‬:‭10‬ ‭‬‬

“Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.”
‭‭Philippians‬ ‭2‬:‭3‬ ‭

✨If you want to have a healthy, Christ-centered, lifelong marriage, we now offer marriage mentoring through every season using the SYMBIS Assessment.

💕Prepare: the engagement season, plus the early years of your marriage when you’re working to launch lifelong love.

💕 Repair: a season that involves navigating tough situations, ongoing conflict, traumatic events, or big life changes.

💕Maximize: a season where you’re ready to level-up your marriage, whether you’ve been stuck in a rut or are just ready to take the next step forward toward a more fulfilling marriage.

🌸Comment "Lifelong" if you are interested.

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17/11/2023

The whole Bible, in my opinion, is Wonderful Council for marriages. Husbands and wives lean in and seek that glorious wisdom as opposed to looking for all the what if’s and other imagined loopholes.

No, it’s not about being perfect. But it is about a heart wanting to please God who says faith without works is dead but also we are not saved by works. Let the Bible refine and define your faith AND your marriage also.

Yes, I have the audacity to read scripture and ask what is the Bible saying to me about my marriage? It’s not the first question but it is one of the questions and this simple practice has helps keep me in my place in my marriage. I know I have not arrived, that is for sure.

✨If you want to have a healthy, Christ-centered, lifelong marriage, we now offer marriage mentoring through every season using the SYMBIS Assessment.

💕Prepare: the engagement season, plus the early years of your marriage when you’re working to launch lifelong love.

💕 Repair: a season that involves navigating tough situations, ongoing conflict, traumatic events, or big life changes.

💕Maximize: a season where you’re ready to level-up your marriage, whether you’ve been stuck in a rut or are just ready to take the next step forward toward a more fulfilling marriage.

🌸Comment "Lifelong" if you are interested.

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17/11/2023

Marriage is needed for s*x and s*x is needed for marriage. Both are designed with God's specific plan in mind, not yours. Either He is glorified in it or not. This is why you must work to maintain s*xual unity and enjoyment.

This post was inspired by a comment on the post from yesterday that got my mind rolling. You all give such great feedback. Let us continue to encourage each other to God honoring marriage relationships🙌🏽💕

✨If you want to have a healthy, Christ-centered, lifelong marriage, we now offer marriage mentoring through every season using the SYMBIS Assessment.

💕Prepare: the engagement season, plus the early years of your marriage when you’re working to launch lifelong love.

💕 Repair: a season that involves navigating tough situations, ongoing conflict, traumatic events, or big life changes.

💕Maximize: a season where you’re ready to level-up your marriage, whether you’ve been stuck in a rut or are just ready to take the next step forward toward a more fulfilling marriage.

🌸Comment "Lifelong" if you are interested.

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15/11/2023

If you have been withholding love and s*x in your marriage and your list of excuses is a valid one, just NO! Christ has shown us that love gives and gives despite what the other person does.

Go after your spouse. Humble yourself and truly repent to your spouse for the careless and heartless way you have treated love and commit to doing better.
1. Take away the excuses.
2. If you have to justify it, it is likely not best.
3. Remember how Jesus pursues us and seek to do that in ALL areas of marriage.

✨If you want to have a healthy, Christ-centered, lifelong marriage, we now offer marriage mentoring through every season using the SYMBIS Assessment.

💕Prepare: the engagement season, plus the early years of your marriage when you’re working to launch lifelong love.

💕 Repair: a season that involves navigating tough situations, ongoing conflict, traumatic events, or big life changes.

💕Maximize: a season where you’re ready to level-up your marriage, whether you’ve been stuck in a rut or are just ready to take the next step forward toward a more fulfilling marriage.

🌸Comment "Lifelong" if you are interested.

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13/11/2023

A gentle husband will not force himself upon his wife. He and longs for his wife to desire him and in that, show in her response the same.

Spiritually speaking, Jesus is the "husband" who is in every way - perfect. He is altogether lovely; yet for all of His beauty and perfection, it is almost entirely unappreciated by the world. “The vain world cannot see in him a virtue to admire. It is a blind world, a fool world, a world that lieth in the wicked one. Not to discern the beauties of Jesus is an evidence of terrible depravity. (Spurgeon).

Wives, appreciate your husband in private and in public. Do the same with Jesus.

✨If you want to have a healthy, Christ-centered, lifelong marriage, we now offer marriage mentoring through every season using the SYMBIS Assessment.

💕Prepare: the engagement season, plus the early years of your marriage when you’re working to launch lifelong love.

💕 Repair: a season that involves navigating tough situations, ongoing conflict, traumatic events, or big life changes.

💕Maximize: a season where you’re ready to level-up your marriage, whether you’ve been stuck in a rut or are just ready to take the next step forward toward a more fulfilling marriage.

🌸Comment "Lifelong" if you are interested.

➡️Your deepest longing

➡️Your money matters

➡️Your Communication Styles

➡️Your personalities

➡️Your Fight Types

➡️Your Love Life

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11/11/2023

Our culture tells us that feelings of love means you actually love and that determines how you treat your spouse. However, to remain committed to your marriage vows and the TRUTH of God’s Word, ACTIONS of love drive feelings of love and maintain those feelings over time. Love is action and choice.

If you want to feed love that is dims in your marriage, begin with obedience to God who says “Love!”

“Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
Ephesians 5:24,25

✨The Rooted Christmas is available for through November 12th ONLY. Click the link in our bio to get all the details.

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09/11/2023

The Christian marriage ought to be an alleluia from head to foot!

*One of my favorite books is Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster. He has a chapter on Celebration as a discipline. In a nut shell, we can gather that finding and living in joy doesn’t just happen. It is a choice day in and out. That is also true for marriage.

If you want a joy filled marriage, it is a choice totally unrelated to your spouse and what they do or don’t do. Between you and Jesus, you got everything you need. The rest is icing on the cake if you are obedient 🙏🏾💞

✨Looking for a meaningful way to focus your family on Christ this Christmas? Check out the "Rooted Christmas Bundle." It is a resource packed full of great items like family devotionals, Bible verse memory cards and more! The Bundle is only available through November 12th. Click the link in our bio to get all the details.

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08/11/2023

Shoot y’all. When I read slide #10, I want to shout! When I think about the goodness of God, it literally takes away my reason to complain! In your marriage, your spouse will be drawn to joy, smiles, gratitude, peace, and contentment. And if you have Jesus, He is all you need. Period.

✨The Rooted Christmas is available for through November 12th ONLY. Click the link in our bio to get all the details.

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07/11/2023

At the White's house we celebrate. Yes, all the holidays, birthdays, and we make up quite a few others. Why? Because God is too good for us to not alway look for a reason to rejoice.

In this day and age where everyone is rewriting history to cancel all the holidays, we're gearing up to find more ways to celebrate and continue to keep Christ at the Center of it all. The devil is not stealing nothing over here. To God be the glory great things He has done for us.

David and I have contributed to the wonderful Rooted Christmas bundle (see pinned post) to focus all ages on Jesus in the holiday season where culture seeks to either kill it altogether or make it about Santa, Rudolph, and elf on the shelf. Those are fun and creative but NOT the real reason to rejoice.

✨The Rooted Christmas is available for through November 12th ONLY. Click the link in our bio to get all the details.

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07/11/2023

What aren't you telling your spouse?

We are most intimate with our spouse when we allow ALL of ourselves to be exposed. That kind of vulnerability, though, is what scares us away from being completely open and honest.

Many times, when we talk about this, we only consider this in light of bad or negative things (Addictions, bad attitudes, etc.) but what about things that weigh on your heart? Pressing desires that God has laid on your heart?

✨The hopes and dreams you've squirreled away from view, afraid to share them with your spouse?

✨The desire you have to see your husband step up in leading your family?

✨The desire to grow closer to the Lord together as a couple?

These are good things, things that need to be shared. Be brave. Be intimate.

✨Don't forget to check out our "Rooted Christmas Bundle" for a really great bundle of Christmas goodies.

✨If you want to a fresh new way to celebrate your spouse, we offer marriage and premarriage mentoring using the SYMBIS Assessment. DM us "Lifelong" if you want to find out more!

✨Also, looking to deepen your intimacy with your spouse? We've put together a video workshop on building intimacy in your marriage. Click the link in our bio for more information!

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06/11/2023

Already thinking about what Advent resources you want to use this year for your family? Tired of everything pointing to Santa and Elf on the Shelf? Look no further than the Rooted Christmas Bundle for only $32!
This bundle is brimming with full length resources for your family to use this Christmas season as we focus on the birth of Christ! Whether you are looking for devotionals to do on your own, with your spouse or family, activities as a family, recipes, gifts to give , guides to follow or something else, you’ll want to check this bundle out!

Here are the holiday details:
-13 creators
-Valued at over $250
-12 full-length Christmas resources
-Devotionals
-Scripture Memory Cards
-Recipes
-Christmas guides
-Christmas Book reviews
-Exclusive Christian shop discounts
-Items for all ages
✨Bonus materials: Keeping Christ in Christmas video content

For a detailed list of items and contributors, check out my stories and head to the link in my bio so you can be encouraged and focused on Christ this season!

05/11/2023

The benefits of celebrating and appreciating your spouse is a lifetime of discovering, exploring, and renewing with your spouse. Lean in for a sec, maybe you forget because because you haven't worked it out in the bedroom or you aren't working out 😉in the bedroom.👀🥰🔥

"Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
19 a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love."
Proverbs 5:18-19

✨If you want to a fresh new way to celebrate your spouse, we offer marriage and premarriage mentoring using the SYMBIS Assessment. DM us "Lifelong" if you want to find out more!

✨Also, looking to deepen your intimacy with your spouse? We've put together a video workshop on building intimacy in your marriage. Click the link in our bio for more information!

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03/11/2023

Imagine a marriage where you can only boast "BUT for Jesus..." We could not, would not, or even want to do this marriage without Jesus as our foundation and reason. What kind of boasting would that be?

Turns out, it is the BEST thing to be able to say.
"so that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.” 1 Corinthians :31

✨If you want to have a healthy, Christ-centered, lifelong marriage, we offer marriage and premarriage mentoring using the SYMBIS Assessment. DM us "Lifelong" if you want to find out more!

✨Also, looking to deepen your intimacy with your spouse? We've put together a video workshop on building intimacy in your marriage. Click the link in our bio for more information!

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02/11/2023

To consider what a good husband ought to do and be, especially before you get married is wise. But once you get married, if you want more peace, focus on what you ought to do.

Ladies, your role in marriage, when you allow the Spirit to guide you, is perfect for nurturing your marriage. Your prayers, patience, attention, attentiveness to details, and gentleness will help a husband who may never had a great example of what a good husband and father should be and do.

You fulfilling your role is perfect for HELPING your husband fill his.

"Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives.” (1 Pet. 3:1)

✨If you want to have a healthy, Christ-centered, lifelong marriage, we offer marriage and premarriage mentoring using the SYMBIS Assessment. DM us "Lifelong" if you want to find out more!

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01/11/2023

Ladies, we have to always work on showing up in our marriages but not showing out. Where I am from, "showing out" refers to the person who is being unruly and acting selfish. It is someone who is loud, overbearing, and obnoxious.

Show up because because your children and watching. They are taking notes and following your lead.

"Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." Ephesians 5:1-2.

✨If you want to have a healthy, Christ-centered, lifelong marriage, we offer marriage and premarriage mentoring using the SYMBIS Assessment. DM us "Lifelong" if you want to find out more!

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30/10/2023

This post is based on a true story... mine.😬

Initiate. Don't simply respond in kind. Yes, make it a competition to understand and to out do each other in love and grace.

Slide #7. My husband tells me, he doesn't want to be cute in my eyes. Puppies are cute. Your husband wants to feel desired and wanted. BTW, so do you.

💫 Don't forget, our "30 Days to Marital Intimacy" video course is live. It includes 8 sessions and a 30 day discussion starter workbook. Click on the link in our bio for more information !

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28/10/2023

If the number one cause for divorce is Infidelity, why don't we talk about it more?

Marriages suffer when s*xual sin is left unchecked. The church is silent on this so I just wanted to shine a light: God created s*x for marriage and for his glory. It matters if you have accepted false imitations of s*x. It breaks communion with God and your spouse.

S*x can be a fulfilling, worship experience and God will help you get there if you trust him to do it.

Husbands. Wives. If God is your father, purify yourselves “from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God. 2 Corinthians 7:1

💫 If you are looking for fresh ways to connect with your spouse, our "30 Days to Marital Intimacy" is live. It includes 8 video sessions and a 30 day discussion starter workbook. Click on the link in our bio for more information !

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26/10/2023

Laughter is contagious and a smile can change your mood and your marriage.

Your countenance is the overflow of your heart. If you claim to have the, "Joy, joy, joy, down in your heart (where?)," if so, you may want alert your face and show your spouse. It can make all the difference for a thriving marriage.

"A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit." Proverbs 15:13

💫 Don't forget, our "30 Days to Marital Intimacy" video course is live. It includes 8 sessions and a 30 day discussion starter workbook. Click on the link in our bio for more information !

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21/10/2023

On Safari in Africa, we learned a valuable lesson from a herd of elephants. They protect their vulnerable babies by making a circle around them and the adults turn outwards to face the threat. There is lesson for marriages - You can face any trial far better when together.

When when found out our Seven Mercy would likely have Down Syndrome and then ended up in the NICU for 10 days, we chose not to go through this trial alone. We chose together.

Unexpected, out of the blue, unfair... Trials will test the strength of your marriage. They will tear at the core of your commitment and strain against your resolve.

And it's not a matter of 'if,' it's a matter of 'when' and for how long.

More than that, it's a matter of how you are going to handle it individually and as a couple.

While you cannot prepare for every negative scenario, you can prepare for your reaction to it right now.

-Weave prayer into the fabric of your relationship.

-Don't push each other away, but rather, band together even closer.

20/10/2023

If you are struggling with communication in your marriage, seek counsel:
Prayerfully search the scriptures, get a marriage mentor (like us), see a counselor. Recognize when what you're doing is not working.

"Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding." - Proverbs 4:7

"But here I am, and there you are
The space between us i
s not so far
I'm reaching out my hand in love
Before the fading sun,
forgive me for what I've done"
Toby Mac, "Start Somewhere"

✨If you’re looking to build greater intimacy in every area of your marriage…

✨If you want to grow with your spouse and be the TEAM you know you can be…

✨If you want to finally know what TRUE marital intimacy means - physical, emotional, and spiritual…

We are super excited to finally share - the 30 Days of Intimacy Bundle!!

💕The self-paced Marital Intimacy video course to fully equip you with understanding how you and your spouse can work together

💕The 30 Days to Intimacy Workbook with good questions to work through so you build connections to improve your marriage in every area

💕🙌🏽PLUS a BONUS surprise when you join by October 25th.

✨ACT NOW - The cost is only $50 until Oct. 25th and will go up. Space is limited!
Click the link in our bio if you’re ready to see your marriage thrive! 🤩

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19/10/2023

Tip: Add prayers of gratitude for your husband. His masculinity. His design. His s*x drive. God will open your eyes not just to your husband's value in that but also the role you play in it.

Striving for s*xual intimacy is a great place to start mending fences in a marriage where a husband has disconnected. Big, seemingly insurmountable problems in a marriage arent fixed in a finger's snap but one step at a time.

"Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." 1 Corinthians 7:5

✨If you’re looking to build greater intimacy in every area of your marriage…

✨If you want to grow with your spouse and be the TEAM you know you can be…

✨If you want to finally know what TRUE marital intimacy means - physical, emotional, and spiritual…

We are super excited to finally share - the 30 Days of Intimacy Bundle!!

💕The self-paced Marital Intimacy video course to fully equip you with understanding how you and your spouse can work together

💕The 30 Days to Intimacy Workbook with good questions to work through so you build connections to improve your marriage in every area

💕🙌🏽PLUS a BONUS surprise when you join by October 25th.

✨ACT NOW - The cost is only $50 until Oct. 25th and will go up. Space is limited!
Click the link in our bio if you’re ready to see your marriage thrive! 🤩

Like🌷Comment🌷Share🌷

19/10/2023

If you keep trying the same things to infuse intimacy into your marriage but it still seems elusive, don't give up, switch it up.

One of the things you can try is to Teach your husband how to love you intimately by treating him how you want to be treated and how he needs to be treated - with respect.

✨If you’re looking to build greater intimacy in every area of your marriage…

✨If you want to grow with your spouse and be the TEAM you know you can be…

✨If you want to finally know what TRUE marital intimacy means - physical, emotional, and spiritual…

We are super excited to finally share - the 30 Days of Intimacy Bundle!!

💕The self-paced Marital Intimacy video course to fully equip you with understanding how you and your spouse can work together

💕The 30 Days to Intimacy Workbook with good questions to work through so you build connections to improve your marriage in every area

💕🙌🏽PLUS a BONUS surprise when you join by October 25th.

✨ACT NOW - The cost is only $50 until Oct. 25th and will go up. Space is limited!
Click the link in our bio if you’re ready to see your marriage thrive! 🤩

Like🌷Comment🌷Share🌷

18/10/2023

The enemy is crafty and always looking for chinks (weaknesses) in our marriages to exploit. One of his main tactics is to get us to take our focus off of Christ and place our worry, doubt, and fear front and center so it consumes us (think, Peter walking on the water). For some, the issues in their marriages have become so great and so distracting it has caused them to take their eyes off of Jesus. When that happens, their marriages aren't the only thing in trouble.

Do this today: Focus on Jesus. Repeat.

I Corinthians 7:35
"I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible."

✨If you’re looking to build greater intimacy in every area of your marriage…

✨If you want to grow with your spouse and be the TEAM you know you can be…

✨If you want to finally know what TRUE marital intimacy means - physical, emotional, and spiritual…

We are super excited to finally share - the 30 Days of Intimacy Bundle!!

💕The self-paced Marital Intimacy video course to fully equip you with understanding how you and your spouse can work together

💕The 30 Days to Intimacy Workbook with good questions to work through so you build connections to improve your marriage in every area

💕🙌🏽PLUS a BONUS surprise when you join by October 25th.

✨ACT NOW - The cost is only $50 until Oct. 25th and will go up. Space is limited!
Click the link in our bio if you’re ready to see your marriage thrive! 🤩

Like🌷Comment🌷Share🌷

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