City of Ventura Public

25/05/2023

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

City of Ventura Public Press Release

Title: "Ventura's Traffic Extravaganza: A Masterful Display of City Coordination!"

Ventura, CA - May 29th, 2023 - The City of Ventura is proud to announce the smashing success of its latest traffic management experiment: the "Ventura Traffic Extravaganza!" This past weekend, we managed to double book both the Strawberry Festival at the Fairgrounds and the Mountains 2 Beach Marathon, causing a massive traffic jam that brought our lovely city to a grinding halt.

Under the watchful eye of Supervisor Matt LaVere, the City of Ventura has once again demonstrated its unparalleled expertise in event coordination and traffic management. The monumental traffic jam not only provided hours of entertainment for residents but also allowed for some much-needed bonding time with fellow motorists.

In a stroke of genius, Supervisor LaVere and the City of Ventura decided to combine the two events, ensuring that marathon runners could enjoy the sweet scent of strawberries as they navigated the labyrinth of traffic. As a bonus, festival-goers had the unique opportunity to practice their patience and problem-solving skills while attempting to reach the event.

We would like to extend our most sincere gratitude to Supervisor Matt LaVere for his unwavering dedication to making Ventura the traffic jam capital of Southern California. His tireless efforts to create the most chaotic and confusing event schedule have not gone unnoticed, and we are confident that his innovative approach to city planning will continue to delight and surprise us all.

In the spirit of continuous improvement, the City of Ventura is already planning its next traffic jam extravaganza. We encourage residents to stay tuned for updates on future events that will undoubtedly showcase our city's exceptional ability to bring the community together through gridlock and frustration.

For more information on how the City of Ventura is revolutionizing the art of traffic jams, please visit our website or contact our public relations team.

Contact:
City of Ventura Public

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Disclaimer:
This press release is a work of satire and should not be taken as an official statement from the City of Ventura or any of its representatives. The purpose of this press release is to provide humorous commentary on local events and should not be considered factual or accurate information.

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Safety tips to keep in mind when at the gas station

Use disinfecting wipes on handles and buttons of the gas pump before you touch them.
Use a hand sanitizer after you get gas and pay.
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