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Wolfie echos the current political climate after allegedly calling recent developments a “stolen election”.
University officials pulled the furry gray seawolf from a statewide Mascot March Madness competition after realizing fans were stuffing the ballot box.
The USG executive branch abolishes the Supreme Court, soon the senate will follow.
Palpatine declares himself Emperor of the newly formed Galactic Empire.
USG consolidated power through removal of Supreme Court. USG President states, “I am the law!”
OpinionsThe student body has been cheated by USG by Thor HawreyNovember 17, 2019November 17, 2019ShareTweetPin itShareEmailMoreThe logo for Stony Brook’s Undergraduate Student Government. Last week, the USG proposed over 250 changes to its constitution in a referendum for students to vote on; it p...
Does campus only sell Pepsi products?
why won’t Stanley senpai notice me?
Without net neutrality, we wouldn't be able to bring the truth to the people!
The move would roll back the Obama-era rules on net neutrality, setting the stage for a vote next month that could reshape the entire digital ecosystem.
Reminder for all you citizens of the empire to GET THE F**K OUT AND VOTE TOMORROW
President Stanley gets penetrated in his office on camera, and wants the students to do the same
Wait, we have a masculinities center?
When Stony Brook University launched its Center for the Study of Men and Masculinities in 2013, alumnus Bruce Bawer was intrigued by the new program. “Would the new Center do anything to enhance the school’s reputation for scholarship,” he wondered. Bawer, an author, was skeptical. And it turns out…
It's a sad day in America when you try to host a Hawaiian luau with some German friends and suddenly people start calling you racist.
No funding for the arts means no funding for dank memes
The Department of Theatre Arts has suspended its admissions due to budget cuts. In the future, the department will now only teach lower, general education requirements. This means that no new or undeclared student can declare a theatre arts major or minor. This also means that many beloved faculty....
We would like to take this moment to remember the 2014 USG Administration who tragically met their end in the past Roth Pond Regatta.
In the aftermath of the 2014 Roth Regatta, The Stony Brook Enquirer is sad to report that the USG boat sank and with all hands lost. We will be reminded of this tragic loss next semester as we see...
It looks like winter won't be leaving Long Island without a fight this year as weather services warn of an impending blizzard to hit the area over the next few days. The University has begun...
Happy International Women's Day! Celebrating women and their indispensable contributions that go unrecognized throughout history.
And a reminder to all Enquirer employees, next week's sexual harassment seminar is mandatory for everyone, ESPECIALLY YOU PAUL AND THE REST OF THE ACCOUNTING DEPARTMENT.
Remember all you single folks, you can always have a th*****me with Ben and Jerry. They won't betray you like that cheating bitch Deb from accounting.
With Stony Brook faculty, staff, and students being denied entry back into the country, please be sure to secure all legal documentation and seek an immigration attorney ASAP if you believe you may be affected as this emergency stay may only be temporary.
A federal judge in New York has issued an emergency stay temporarily halting the removal of individuals detained after President Trump's order banned immigrants from seven Muslim-majority countries from entering the U.S.
Ladies and gentlemen, the 45th President of the United States of America.
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Merry Kwanzaa, Joyful Festivus, and Happy Holidays!
'Twas the week before Christmas, and all throughout campus, a creature was stirring: the demon named Krampus. Oh and his friend Black Pete, but beware of his race, for he's actually white, but...
Earlier today Stony Brook University gave an unexpected farewell to the beloved Student Union building. While it has been rumored that the building was to be condemned for some time, students,...
Netflix: Bringing back the greatest hits.
President-Elect Donald Trump addresses the Liberals after his victory.
REMEMBER TO GET THE F**K OUT AND VOTE TODAY
In a surprising move that stunned many and caused much controversy, Starbucks once again unveiled a new coffee cup design for the holiday season. What was unusual this time around though was that...
Boys and girls of every age
Wouldn't you like to see something strange?
Its sure you make you say "What the f**k?"
Its our school of Stony Brook!
This is Stony Brook, this is Stony Brook!
Students scream during finals night!
This is Stony Brook, go ahead, take a look
Your du***ss roommate just forgot to shut the light
Its our school, everybody scream!
You got an "F" in your last dream
I am the stoner passed out in your bed
Don't give a f**k that my eyes are red
I am the asian who won't go to sleep
playing league of legends until you weep
This is Stony Brook! This is Stony Brook!
Stony Brook! Stony Brook! Stony Brook! Stony Brook!
In this school, pay your fees
Everyone hail to the U.S.G.!
In this school, don't you love it now?
Everyone's waiting for the next construction site
Deep in Roosevelt hiding in the alley way
Something's smelling dank, and how you'll puke!
Scream! This is Stony Brook!
Red and gray, wait, what? Gray?!
Are you confused?
Well so am I
Pick your class carefully!
Take the chance or PNC
Order dominos in the dead of night!
Everybody scream! Cheer for our team!
In our school on Halloween!
I Am the man in the F.S.A.
Those increased prices are here to stay!
I am the guy who won't shut up in class
Raising my hand to kiss the teacher's ass!
I am the drunk in the dorm on Thursday
missing the toilet not my problem anyway!
This is Stony Brook! This is Stony Brook!
Stony Brook! Stony Brook! Stony Brook! Stony Brook!
Sheltered students everywhere,
Going to college must be a huge scare
I don't really mean to be mean
but who the f**k can't work a laundry machine?!
In this campus, don't we love it now?
Everyone's waiting for the next surprise!
President Stanley might send out an email
and talk of Ebola to make you not give a s**t!
This is Stony Brook, won't you all take a look!
Please make way for a very special guy:
Mascot Wolfie is king of the Seawolves
everyone hail to the Seawolf king now!
This is Stony Brook! This is Stony Brook!
Stony Brook! Stony Brook! Stony Brook! Stony Brook!
In this school, pay your fees
Everyone hail to the U.S.G.!
Happy Halloween from The Stony Brook Enquirer!
Philosophy students lose sleep over question: What's a seawolf? Only to find themselves in an existential crisis and pathological drinking.
After a poor review of the University's educators, SBU Human Resources Director regrets hiring professors from craigslist after a night of drinking alone.
Stony Brook University prides itself on high rankings, but in some cases, being high up on a list may not be something to brag about.
Tonight is the first Presidential Debate for 2016. Will you vote for the Democrat to blast you in the ass? The Republican to blast you in the ass? Or get a little freaky and pick the Independent to blast you in the ass? (The candidates, not Stony Brook Independent, unless you're into that sort of stuff, then go ask them)
With New York major party primary elections taking place this Tuesday, April 19, The Stony Brook Enquirer is proud to give our support to the only candidate that matters: Donald Trump. Showing...
In a powerful move by University Fuhrer Stanley, the campus bookstore is no more, as all textbooks have been removed and replaced with university-supporting nationalist regalia. This move came about in order to "Protect the young minds from the corrupting influences of communist and capitalist literature." All students who wish to purchase books must do so through a pre-approved selection available through our University's newest alliance with Amazon and Starbucks.
update : ocotober/2013 - THUMBS IT UP EVERYONE !!!!! AND SUBSCRIBE ** please NO HATE SPEECH OR N**I SYMPATHIZING ** Forgiveness and zero deception is the onl...
THIS JUST IN: Princeton Review ranks UMass Amherst #1 best campus food in the country yet again. Stony Brook is still awaiting a rank, because we didn't know we could count that high.
Business as usual at the FSA...
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