21/02/2024
Validation is communicating to someone that what they are saying, feeling, or doing makes sense—and it’s one of our favorite tools for talking to kids about tricky tech topics.
Here are the basic steps to validating your child (or, really, anyone):
1. Use nonverbal cues to show you’re listening.
Make eye contact, nod, set aside your phone and other distractions.
2. Listen to what your child has to say...‍ and try to imagine how they might be feeling. You might not be familiar with the social media specifics, but you can likely relate to the feeling (it’s tough to feel left out of the group). Pay attention to your teen’s nonverbal cues, too.
3. Name the emotion...and express that what they are feeling makes sense and/or that you understand it. For example:
Wow, I’m so sorry that happened. That must have been really hard. I’d be upset if that happened to me, too.
4. Optional: follow up with a question.
Often, just reflecting on how your teen is feeling will prompt further conversation, but sometimes, it is helpful to check that you guessed the emotion correctly (Is that right?)Â or to ask a brief follow-up question (What else happened?)
Find out more about how validation can help talk with your child about tech at www.techwithoutstress.com