Cops, Capers & Custard

20/01/2025

https://kirkeytalk.com/unlocking-your-mind-the-genius-of-innuendo/

I was recently scolded for my seemingly persistent use of the double entendre on social media. My guilt is overwhelming, with my allegiance to the “nudge, nudge, wink, wink” approach of comedy unde…

19/01/2025

https://kirkeytalk.com/kirkeyvlog/
69: Stanley meets a duo from David & a screamer from George.

Dedicated to those that accompanied me (in spirit) to Accrington Stanley.

69: Stanley meets a duo from David & a screamer from George.

12/01/2025

Thank you to all of you who accompanied me on my trip to Cleethorpes.

Here is the full story of hope and as Bill Shankly so emphatically once put it, "Some people believe football is a matter of life and death. I am very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that."

The UK weather in early January is usually equivalent to wintertime in Siberia, especially the coastal regions where the wind-chill factor can scare off the most robust of brass monkeys. So why on …

31/12/2024

https://kirkeytalk.com/2024-review/

2024 review: Matches: 31 New grounds: 4 (Bradford City, Tranmere Rovers, Carlisle United and Barrow AFC) Miles travelled: 9,317 Money spent in the club shop: a ridiculous amount Kits bought: 3 adul…

28/12/2024

New Year resolutions are crass but Kirkey would nonetheless like to be optimistic …

New resolutions are crass but Kirkey would nonetheless like to be optimistic: In 2025, commit to being in awe of the universe. 🌌 At least once, look at something that makes you angry from another p…

17/12/2024

Christmas presents: Santa says “Ho! Ho!” I say “Oh no!”

My testimony to the principle of Bah Humbug!

Disillusioned by Santa at a young age, a change of heart brings a Christmas present with meaning

14/12/2024

How apt that I publish this on the day we went down with not so much of a whimper.

A recent Facebook post provoked a sudden synaptic spasm: Some people think it’s peculiar that I am a Notts County season ticket holder and follow them all over the country whilst living in Berkshir…

13/12/2024

When do you want to die?

Following Parliament’s historic decision Kirkey poses the question, “when do you want to die?” and discloses a personal tragedy …

Following Parliament’s historic decision Kirkey poses the question, “when do you want to die?” Even in the darkest recesses of humanity, humour has its rightful place. Triboulet, a 16th century jes…

12/12/2024

Taking the p**s out of men’s health: Type 2 & the prostate.

I would urge fellow chaps to give p*e a much greater prominence, especially when it comes to matters of health…

To the ordinary Brit urine literally flows through mainstream culture. The vernacular is awash with references to this yellow fluid. Do you think I’m taking the p**s? Look outside it’s almost certa…

11/12/2024

Coming soon on www.kirkeytalk.com …

Taking the p**s out of men’s health: Type 2 & the prostate.

11/12/2024

Blinded by the error of my ways: typos.

Errors are a part of life. However, I would assert that there is a hierarchy of miscalculations …

Errors are a part of life. However, I would assert that there is a hierarchy of miscalculations, with those that occupy the higher echelons of mistake worthy of raising a red flag. The signing of a…

10/12/2024

Eating my words: why I’m so interested in what’s on your plate.

When eating with others do you ever ask, “What are you having to eat?”

I have become increasingly conscious of this habit in which I am not alone. But why? Am I exhibiting a not so latent anxiety over what I put in my mouth? Is it food envy, or are there deeper cultural influences at play …

For the majority of my adult years I’ve had to conform with the rules of life, both written and informal. At times, the societal norms I am obliged to yield to frustrate me, and the more I explore …

08/12/2024

A short Sunday read …

Oh God! Jesus Christ! Sacred swearing.

I do admit to being a professional potty mouth. My filler expletive regularly engages with my favourite and most versatile of profane words: f**k. Its versatility is pretty much limitless: both a v…

04/12/2024

Van Gogh: much more than a missing ear.

Recently, I was in London and found myself confronting an uncomfortable truth from my past that occurred more than a couple of decades ago in the wonderful city of Amsterdam…

Quotes about change are as plentiful as there are folk who fail to do so. Nonetheless, my favourite line on this subject is by the author Robert C. Gallagher: “Change is inevitable—except from a ve…

02/12/2024

Coming soon on www.kirkeytalk.com …

Van Gogh: much more than a missing ear.

The other day I found myself in London and confronted an uncomfortable truth from my past that occurred over a couple of decades ago in the wonderful city of Amsterdam…

28/11/2024

Coming soon on www.kirkeytalk.com …

On the eve of the second reading of The Assisted Dying for Terminally Ill Adults Bill, Kirkey poses the question, “When do you want to die?”

11/11/2024

Inspector Clueless does Vietnam.

All you need to know about Vietnam, from the unique perspective of the British equivalent of Inspector Clouseau, who usually turns up at the airport and says, “Where are we going?”

All you need to know about Vietnam, from the unique perspective of the British equivalent of Inspector Clouseau, who usually turns up at the airport and says, “Where are we going?” Collecting my tr…

05/11/2024

Coming soon to www.kirkeytalk.com …

T**t travels to: Vietnam.

All you need to know about Vietnam from the unique perspective of a guy who turns up at the airport and says, “where are we going?”