06/07/2024
Love the Sinner, hate the Sin. REALLY?
A common cliché among Christians is Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin, or Love the Person, hate the sin. Yes, I have used that phrase in the past. Is this a Biblical statement? Is it possible? Is it probable? Is it right? Love the sinner/person; hate the sin. The sinner here would be defined as a person who has not come to faith in Christ.
Let's think about this for a moment. Do we have the ability to separate sin from the person? How can we hate a person's character and love the person? Can we genuinely love the person with an asterisk? What sins are we to hate in the other person? Sins we don't commit or all sins? Sins shouted from the rooftop or sins secretly held in the heart? Love the Person--Hate the Sin--Really?
I understand the dilemma being addressed: How can we love people and not appear to condone their sins? This seems to me to be an awkward and unnecessary question. I believe the phase also leads to a self-righteous attitude and a condemning attitude with only a wink of love toward the person. Rarely have I seen this phrase lived out as a wink at the sin and an embrace of acceptance for the person. It usually goes like this: Well, you know he is a ________________, and she does __________. Yes, but we must love the sinner and hate the sin. How is that lived out?
Appearances are deceptive, and our judgment is marred because we don't have the facts. Two children are on a public bus, screaming and running around the bus. The dad sits there! Doesn't he see the issue? Doesn't he know the rules? He and his brat kids should be thrown off the bus. Come on; we can't take it anymore. Ok, I will say something if no one else will: Sir, your kids are really causing a disturbance by running around and screaming, can't you control them! The dad responded: I am very sorry, we just left the hospital, my wife, their mom, just died; I guess I didn't even notice.
Now, what is the attitude? What has changed? Insight!
Check out the ministry of Jesus, and you will find that people changed in an atmosphere of acceptance. The woman by the well, the woman caught in adultery, the tax collector up a tree, the apostle who denied Jesus three times, etc. Jesus never condoned sin, but He loved unconditionally. He accepted them. He ate with them. He was mocked as being a Friend of Sinners! It is not a compliment from the people making the accusation, but it is a hope for us! He is our Friend. Jesus' harshest words were for the religious (those with knowledge), not the sinners (without knowledge).
We are not capable of hating sin unless we are fully capable of living holy. We are not capable of separating a person from the sin. We don't have all the facts, nor do we need them. God has not called us to ensure the sinner knows that we hate his way of living and actions, but we love him. When you get rid of the sins, we can accept you. I am glad that is not the Lord's way. We can't choose who to love. Christ calls us to love our enemies and to love others. He sums up the law by saying Love God and Love your neighbor.
I am not called to straighten people out. We are not called to itemize a person's sins and determine when we can begin to accept the person. We accept the person, sins, and all! We don't have to make it clear to the person that we love them but hate their character. Acceptance of people is our calling—friendship with sinners. We are called to be fishers of men, but we are not called to clean them. Only the Holy Spirit can bring cleansing and conviction.
A true story. I was golfing with friends and a guest whom I didn’t know. He had a horrible shot and began to cuss as though it was his second language. (I was a SGT in the AIR FORCE.) My ears have heard a lot. But this guy could melt asphalt with his tongue. My friend whispered to him: He is a pastor. The man became very apologetic. He felt horrible. I put my hand on his shoulder and said: Don’t worry. I am not allowed to cuss at bad shots. Sometimes, I hire a person like you to cuss for me. He laughed and became comfortable again. If I had made it a big deal, he would have left with a very different opinion of my faith and pastors.
Once we have accepted a person and developed a friendship or become an acquaintance, let the person bring up issues. Remember your past. Remember your sense of being lost. Remember those who were kind to you. Remember those who shunned you and felt you should not be a part of their group!
So what do we do? We love people. We hate our own sins. We accept people where they are and influence them toward faith in Christ. We follow what Jesus says: Love God and Love others. This is a big enough job for me just to love God, and God help me to love others.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit, Romans 15:13, NIV.
Jim
Dr. James D. Allen