Episode 44: Dawn And The Older Boy
OMG, Dawn’s dating an older boy! Luckily, he’s an insufferable douche as well as being a creep, so it doesn’t last long. Meanwhile, Mary Anne’s actually being canonically sensitive for once, and someone’s caught Kristy’s eye.
On today’s agenda: false promises of child chaos; toaster oven vindication; hazing in the NICU; the best use for fake teeth; podcaster charitability rankings; important Travis statistics; Dawn goes genre-hopping; everything is Zach’s fault; the mark of a good man; superior stalking techniques; all the teens love Ovid’s Metamorphoses.
Our theme song is "The Incredible Shrinking Larry" by Matt Oakley & "Big Band Jingle A" is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive.
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Episode 42: Babysitters' Island Adventure
OMG, Claudia and Dawn are doing illegal daycare while lost at sea! How did this happen, you ask? It turns out they’re massively into sailing, just huge boat-heads, and they always have been, you just didn’t notice. Don’t worry if you don’t know anything about sailing, though – neither does Ann. We got a boat guy in to consult on this book and he was very upset.
On today’s agenda: massive, shameless retcons; the boat terminology social contract; Dawn and Jeff are hydration hipsters; the junior coastguard can’t go out after dark; all the men are cancelled; beach vibes only; the tragedy of the Ramseys; a master class in exposition; judo training in the Carnegie library; a PhD in boat imagery; baffling 90s phone tech.
Our theme song is "The Incredible Shrinking Larry" by Matt Oakley & "Big Band Jingle A" is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive.
If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram!
Episode 41: Stacey And The Mystery Of Stoneybrook
OMG, there’s a mystery in Stoneybrook! Fortunately Stacey’s on the case, and it turns out she’s psychic maybe? The important thing is, it’s totally OK to drag your ailing babysitting charge around an unsupervised building site if there are ghosts involved. Plus, further discourse on microwaved bacon.
On today’s agenda: a distressingly competent cover; important Dublin history; we have doubts about Kristy’s map-reading skills; parasocial stone tape hypothesis; a troubling absence of Jessi; some implausible stuff about welding torches; Old Rubbernose is the OG incel; little a gaslighting, as a treat; what to wear for the social event of the season.
Our theme song is "The Incredible Shrinking Larry" by Matt Oakley & "Big Band Jingle A" is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive.
If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram!
Episode 39: Claudia And The Great Search
OMG, Claudia might be adopted and has to go on a journey of discovery and learn how to use a microfiche machine! Meanwhile, Emily Michelle is… basically fine, actually.
On today’s agenda: science disappointments; the grammar skull; award ceremony trauma; fair pricing for witch labour; nobody in this book cares about data protection; phonetics phun phacts; casually swinging by the doctor’s office for some blood; not how cookies work; a run on the relics.
Our theme song is "The Incredible Shrinking Larry" by Matt Oakley; "Big Band Jingle A" is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive.
If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram!
Episode 38: Dawn's Wicked Stepsister
OMG, Dawn And Mary Anne are officially sisters! In a shocking, unforeseen twist, it turns out that sometimes sisters have fights, exactly like last episode! But fear not, Dawn’s going to fix everything through the life-changing magic of gaslighting.
On today’s agenda: HIPAA for podcasters; cutlery-drawer degeneracy; further research in the field of cake science; we use the phrase “passive-aggressive” a record number of times; the Shame Room; the Pikes invent mask mandates; a wholesome Charlie Thomas fanfic; Dawn commits sock crimes; gratuitous Ronald Reagan references; traumatic phone bill experiences; safe, sane and consensual spring cleaning; we pray for a shiny red reset button.
Our theme song is "The Incredible Shrinking Larry" by Matt Oakley, and "Big Band Jingle A" is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive.
If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram!
Episode 36: Babysitters' Winter Vacation
OMG, the babysitters are going on a winter vacation! Kristy breaks a boy’s ankle, Stacey wears the face off some guy, we get short-changed on a ghost plot, and the less said about Jessi’s plot the better.
On today’s agenda: the Mallorys are a hardy folk; all babysitters and no Logan make Mary Anne go something something; we stan the Flugelmeister; great moments in theatrical history, starring Esther and Karen; terrible moments in talent show history, starring Davina; Ashley Wyeth gets a contractually required cameo; everyone’s desperately trying to make ‘vacation historian’ a thing; PE punishments that backfire; the 1989 vaudeville boom; heteronormativity cures everything.
Our theme song is "The Incredible Shrinking Larry" by Matt Oakley and "Big Band Jingle A" is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive.
If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram!
Episode 35: Mallory And The Mystery Diary
OMG, Mallory’s found a mystery diary and she has a lot of thoughts about it! Stacey’s house might be haunted, or not, whatever, and Buddy Barrett’s learning about the Magic Of Archie Comics. Meanwhile, Karen’s got some bonus content for you all and is real angry at her 12-year-old self.
On today’s agenda: an MBA in embezzling; how long it actually takes to zone out and narrate Chapter 2; how to train your dragon to seize the means of production; who needs bogeymen when you have New Yorkers?; the gigantic Pike hand curse; a school field trip for the ages; building literacy skills via Attack On Titan; urgent updates on Sir Walter Scott; Kristy gets even more problematic than usual; Scholastic cuts their old man character budget; an abundance of Jareds; Charlotte Johansson has unique, profound insights; white male mediocrity saves the day.
Our theme song is "The Incredible Shrinking Larry" by Matt Oakley, and "Big Band Jingle A" is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive.
If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram!
Episode 34: The Podcast At Nancy Drew's House: The Secret Of The Old Clock
Heavens to Betsy! Old Josiah Crowley promised to leave his fortune to a wide assortment of nice people, then left it to the worst people ever! If only there was a second will that left everything to nice people! Can plucky girl detective Nancy Drew save the day, armed only with advanced boat-repair skills, a vast amount of societal privilege, and a heroic capacity for eavesdropping?
Today's hot gossip in River Heights: how to do laundry on the go; exciting new developments in wardrobe technology; a world without professional ethics; hot old men of genre fiction; furniture criminals and teapot heists; a tantalising glimpse of cinnamon cake; the surprising similarities between Nancy Drew and Jack Reacher; exploding boats all the way down.
Our theme song is "Jazzy Detective" by John Bartmann and "Big Band Jingle A" is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive.
If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram!
Here’s a sneak peek at our upcoming #aprilfools episode… can you guess the book?!
If you haven’t caught up on our latest episode yet, here’s a preview!
Episode 32: Jessi And The Superbrat
OMG, Jessi’s babysitting an extremely minor celebrity! Also, she gets a bit freaked out about ballet and wonders if the modelling industry would be a less toxic environment. Meanwhile, we review a disappointing nun cemetery.
On today’s agenda: Jessi absorbs the lingering Stacey vibes; bizarre vinyl collections we have known; we find out too much about esteemed critic AN Wilson; Janine sources regional cakes on the dark web; our beef with Starlight Express fandom continues apace; gymkhana drama; everyone remembers when a dog came into the school; Claudia solves all Derek’s problems and gets zero credit for it; spectacularly unethical linguistics research; unforgivable breaches of TV etiquette; upsetting sandwich concepts; an elegy for the prizes in cereal boxes.
Our theme song is "The Incredible Shrinking Larry" by Matt Oakley and "Big Band Jingle A" is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive.
If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram!
Episode 31: Baby-sitters’ Summer Vacation
The girls are going to camp! Stacey’s catching every disease going, Jessi and Kristy are prioritising revenge through dance, and Mary Anne is exceptionally ready to cut a bitch. We talk about our own camp experiences, DIY piercing techniques, and the etymology of names, because we’re cool like that.
On today’s agenda: spite-based framing narratives; tfw nobody needs your fish knowledge; Ann helpfully invents a new slur; Charlotte Johansson’s dark night of the soul; gibbon threat displays; things you don’t want to research in the workplace; how to evade bed check and escaped murderers using just a cantaloupe and your wits; Nude Nuns With Big Guns.
Our theme song is "The Incredible Shrinking Larry" by Matt Oakley and "Big Band Jingle A" is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive.
If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram!
Episode 29: Kristy And The Mother’s Day Surprise
Omg, it’s Mother’s Day! Kristy’s celebrating with illegal daycare, her mom and Watson are celebrating with a very questionable surprise adoption, and everyone’s a bit sad about Mary Anne’s mother being dead, but not THAT sad.
On today’s agenda: full-on, balls-to-the-wall babysitting; faces are hard; monkey-level physics; bad gift epiphanies; Aoife the tragic Victorian orphan; the avocado curse; horrifying 1980s smoothie trends; the woke bae dads of Stoneybrook; some dude who lifts; a brief respite from the crushing grind of the capitalist patriarchy; a bona fide RUDE WORD; Karen and her Lovecraftian monstrosities; that one time when everyone’s parents got mad into sumo.
Our theme song is "The Incredible Shrinking Larry" by Matt Oakley and "Big Band Jingle A" is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive.
If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram!
Episode 28: Dawn On The Coast
Dawn goes to California! She has a lovely time! Turns out Californians are laid-back but also very judgy about food and bright colours, and they lack the vicious business instincts of Connecticuters. Meanwhile, we get violently nostalgic for air travel and warm weather. Also, Karen would like it to be known that that one line about the doctor is actually a quote from Hamilton and not just her being randomly disgusting.
On today’s agenda: DAWN IS A FREAKIN’ BAT PERSON YOU GUYS; avoid a traumatic divorce with this one weird trick; some lingering X-Files-based resentment; the Swedish delegation at the blonde convention; a truly baffling makeup concept that thankfully didn’t catch on; tfw you think you might die in a plane crash but in a good way; Disneyland is the best and we should all go there; social and epidemiological pitfalls of small-town swinging; a better grade of tiny misogynist; second child naming protocols; an emergency more important than spinach lasagna, if you can believe such a thing.
Our theme song is "The Incredible Shrinking Larry" by Matt Oakley and "Big Band Jingle A" is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive. “Hep Cats” is by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com), licensed under Creative Commons By Attribution 3.0 License.
If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram!
Episode 27: Halloween Special – Kristy And The Haunted Mansion
Kristy’s trapped in a haunted mansion due to underfunded local infrastructure! Also, there’s a lot of scrapbooking and a trip to a fabric shop, which makes Esther very happy.
On today’s agenda: making chaos work for you; reasonably sized haunted mansions; an important PSA about your old cassette tapes; we finally take an editorial position on Dan Quayle; the triumphant return of Kristy Noir; Jamie Newton confronts his own mortality; unrealistic expectations of archival research; Hurricane Ophelia or GTFO; pizza topping scapegoats; a criminal waste of Chekhovian servants’ bells; primary sources for DAYS; kisses vs burgers; dying of spleen; turns out the real ghost was the patriarchy all along.
Our theme song is "The Incredible Shrinking Larry" by Matt Oakley and "Big Band Jingle A" is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive.
If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram!
Episode 26: Jessi Ramsey, Pet-Sitter
The Mancusis have too many pets, and Jessi’s babysitting all of them! Meanwhile, Kristy’s in beast mode again, Mary Anne’s a liability, Dawn’s learning to swear, and we contemplate getting a horrible Boomer parrot. Also, we complain extensively about Mrs Braddock but we actually meant Mrs Barrett, so, uh, sorry about that.
On today’s agenda: Chekhov’s fat hamster; things the Queen wears; a heartening show of solidarity against Kristy; suspicious levels of DustBuster visibility; lessons in hamster husbandry; fond memories of the world’s sketchiest pet shop; NEW ELECTIONS; home hairdressing disasters and the thongs of faces; merry japes and medieval drolleries.
Our theme song is "The Incredible Shrinking Larry" by Matt Oakley and "Big Band Jingle A" is by Lobo Loco, both on Free Music Archive.
If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram!
Episode 25: Mallory And The Trouble With Twins
Episode 25: Mallory And The Trouble With Twins
aka I Think, Therefore I Mall
Mallory's babysitting the Arnold twins! But more importantly, earrings earrings earrings earrings and, in conclusion, earrings.
On today's agenda: Twins With Threatening Auras; the only Pike rule; David Michael gets into highbrow manga; Mary Anne uses SHOCKING ADULT LANGUAGE; a veritable orgy of earring-giving; Byron gets all the personality traits; they try to make “malling” happen; canonical groans; trans-Neptunian objects or GTFO; singles bars and whether they are a thing; tracksuits all the way down; actual f**king clogs; manifesting the makeover of your dreams.
Our theme song is "The Incredible Shrinking Larry" by Matt Oakley on the Free Music Archive.
If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram!
Episode 24: Kristy And The Walking Disaster
Kristy's Krushers make their first appearance! And so do Bart's Bashers, ugh. Kristy is her best self for once, we refuse to know anything about baseball, Jackie Rodowsky is not particularly disastrous, Watson is the wholesome content we need, and Ann M. Martin is too tired for a B-plot, which at this point is fair enough.
On today’s agenda: it's all baseball, for the love of God don't @us; Kristy experiments with heterosexuality; Sam and Charlie’s secret shame; the douchebro Punnet square; the IRA rounders league; DENTAL HORROR; O’Neills we have worn and loved; Karen learns an important thing about the Super Bowl; Nicky Pike’s elegant revenge; getting those sick gains with David Michael; the tribulations of being 5.8; Shannon’s new pastime; the insurance application scenes that got tragically cut; Jackie Rodowsky’s dark night of the soul; the long-awaited debut of California Casual.
Our theme song is "The Incredible Shrinking Larry" by Matt Oakley on the Free Music Archive.
If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram!
