My special wind chime...
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Are you missing someone?
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Find positive thoughts to balance your guilt thoughts. “Thought stopping” is a technique with mixed reviews among the mental health crowd. The idea is this – when you notice a negative thought taking over (i.e. guilt) make a conscious effort to stop and replace the thought. Though it may not be quite this simple, there is value in having a positive thought to balance negative guilt thoughts you experience. For example, if you are feeling guilt that you were not there at the moment of your loved one’s death, when that thought comes up be prepared with a thought about the many times you were there.
Forgive yourself. Easier said than done, right? Remember, forgiveness does not mean condoning or excusing. Forgiveness can mean accepting that we may have done something we regret, but finding new attitude and perspective toward ourselves in relation to that action. It doesn’t mean we forget, but means we find a way to move forward.
Figure out what you have learned. Guilt often teaches us something. It can be something about ourselves or about the world. We can learn and grow from almost any emotion (cheesy, but true) so take some time to consider what your guilt has taught you.
Do something with your guilt. Whether rational or irrational, you can use your guilt to help others. What you do may come out of things you have learned. Whether it is educating others so they can avoid the mistakes you feel guilty about, raising awareness about causes of death (anything from heart disease to substance abuse to suicide), or simply encouraging others to talk with their family about end of life wishes, you can use many guilt experiences to help others.
Consider what your loved one would tell you. Get yourself in a space to truly focus on thinking about your loved one. Imagine telling them how you are feeling – your regrets, your guilt, all of it. If there are things you wish you had said, say them. Then imagine what your loved one would tell you
#wodowthoughts #StarsE
Take control of your life.
It might seem easy to accept loss and wallow in despair. But that won’t help you move on.
Widows should prepare to accept the life they’re living, take it by the horns and move on from the darkness when a loved one passes away. That’s the only way they can fully embrace the new world they’ve found themselves in.
Consider getting into good physical shape with an improved diet and a schedule for training.
You might even consider a professional reboot — anything that gets you focused on something constructive can help you move on. Remember, you’re responsible for yourself. It’s you who has to take action.
#wodowthoughts #selfhelp #selfhelptips #StarsEverywhere #widowhood #fyp #mentalhealth #griefandloss #griefjourney #widow #widower #Real
Learn to love the loneliness.
Part of being a widow is learning to spend time alone. But people don’t like to be alone, research has suggested. So, how can widows use loneliness to survive?
Well, being alone is something that people can get used to it. No matter if they’re an introvert or an extrovert, can learn to accept loneliness and love it. I found hobbies and self improvement mind, body and soul things.
This is because loneliness has been linked to deepening other relationships, finding new hobbies and changing scenery. It makes people develop new skills and abilities they may not have considered before the event occurred.
Look forward to seeing your lost one again. Thinking about the ways in which she would be reminded of her late husband or see him again in the afterlife helped her cope.
Have patience when people forget your lost spouse.
An important part of being a widow is not getting too upset when someone briefly forgets about the person you lost. The best medicine for a widow in that scenario is not to push those relationships away, but to accept that some people aren’t going to be there for you all the time. Part of your transitioning into a life post-loss includes dealing with relationships that may be in flux, evolving or perhaps even disappearing altogether. Just know this is part of life. But we are not alone.
Part 2 coming up.....
#wodowthoughts #StarsEverywhere #widowhood #fyp #mentalhealth #griefandloss #griefjourney #widow #widower #Real
*Part 1
Acknowledge that guilt is a normal grief emotion and don’t let others minimize the validity of your grief experience.
Consider what your guilt is all about. Is it rational? Is it irrational? Is it about control?
Talk it over with others. Though you don’t want people minimizing your feelings, talking about guilt can help you reflect on your grief. A good counselor or support group is a great environment to talk about feelings of guilt.
Examine your thoughts. Often our guilt thoughts, whether rational or irrational, start to consume us. They can drag us down into one of those bottomless black holes – the kind that are full of isolation, despair, and far too much wine and ben & jerry’s ice cream. In order to adjust your thinking, you have to know what your guilt thoughts are and notice them when they arise.
If your guilt feelings are irrational, admit it. This doesn’t mean dismissing your feelings of guilt. It means acknowledging that, though you feel guilty, you may not actually be guilty. Some common examples are acknowledging you did the best you could with the information you had at the time, you couldn’t predict the future, there were many other factors at play other than your behaviors, etc. Being honest with yourself about your guilt is important, and accepting that grief is sometimes irrational can be helpful.
#wodowthoughts #StarsEverywhere #widowhood #fyp #mentalhealth #griefandloss #griefjourney #widow #widower #Real
What she said.
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Get up and walk or move around, preferably outside, at least a little each day.
Tell your primary care doctor you are bereaved so they can help you keep an on eye on healthy habits.
This means groom and dress, even if you are not leaving the house. Also, eat small, regular meals, even if you are not hungry.
This means groom and dress, even if you are not leaving the house. Also, eat small, regular meals, even if you are not hungry.
#grief #loss #wodowthoughts #StarsEverywhere #widowhood #fyp #mentalhealth #griefandloss #griefjourney #widow #widower #Real
Physical and emotional exhaustion is common. You will need more rest than usual.
Realize that feelings come whether we like it or not. All we can do is let them move through, like waves in the ocean or clouds in the sky. It is neither weak nor abnormal to feel these waves. There are many approaches under the category of “mindfulness” that can help with emotional self-regulation. It’s also important to know when to seek professional help.
Make it a goal to go to bed and awaken at the same time each day. Give yourself a good amount of time to rest, but be on guard for sleeping too much as a way to avoid the hard work of grieving.
#grief #wodowthoughts #StarsEverywhere #widowhood #fyp #mentalhealth #griefandloss #griefjourney #widow #widower #Real #loss
Widow thoughts
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While there’s no simple formula for getting through a deep loss, here are some following tips:
Loneliness is completely normal, but it is important not to get too isolated. Reach out to people and support groups who are comfortable with grief — who can let you move through the process at your own pace.
Look for friends, old and new, who know how grief feels and who can let you be “alone but not alone” when you just need company and who won’t place any further burdens or expectations on you.
Try not to judge yourself for not “doing better” or “keeping it together.” It will get easier over time to feel like your normal self.
#wodowthoughts #StarsEverywhere #widowhood #fyp #mentalhealth #griefandloss #griefjourney #widow #widower #Real
When someone dies, it can be hard to know what to say to those who were close to them. While each bereaved person’s experience will be different, these tips will give you ideas for how to help them feel heard and supported through their grief.
#loss #grief #wodowthoughts #StarsEverywhere #widowhood #fyp #mentalhealth #griefandloss #griefjourney #widow #widower #Real
Part 1
Thanks to everyone that contributed with responses.
Grief is a natural human response to the loss of a loved one. It can show itself in many ways. Grief moves in and out of stages from disbelief and denial, to anger and guilt, to finding a source of comfort, to eventually adjusting to the loss.
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It is when our emotional reaction to loss doesn't happen right away. Somehow the reaction is postponed. It can come in waves later and even burst at the most unexpected time.
#wodowthoughts #fyp #griefandloss #griefjourney #widowhood #widower #widow
Just thinking....
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#wodowthoughts #fyp #griefandloss #widowhood #griefjourney #widow #widower
#wodowthoughts #fyp #griefandloss #widower #griefjourney #widowhood #widow
