Kapsabet my city

12/08/2023

09/08/2023

Two teenagers arrested in Vihiga for allegedly disturbing neighbors at night while making love. The neighbors say they've always been distracted and at times they think it's violence.
"Saa zingne tunasikiza kill me, finish me, nimalize kabisa, gonga hapo, ndani kabisa, inabidi tutoke tuone nani anauliwa" a neighbor was heard saying.

09/08/2023

🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈
Today, I met my ex and she was kissing her new boyfriend in front of me, I was watching them and she saw😎 me then she kissed him more and asked me what I was doing there. I told her my wife is pregnant 🤰 and I am here to buy baby 🤱 stuffs and I am very very happy🤣. I spoke as if she asked how i was feeling. I proceeded in the store as she was looking at me, I bought 3 buckets, diapers, a baby seat and a baby bed with sponge with soaps then I called a taxi🚓 and left. She and her boyfriend were looking at me and I felt good!. Now, my issue is; if you know any woman who has given birth, I am selling buckets, diapers, baby seat, soaps and sponge. Please HELP me, l was supposed to go and pay our compound electricity bill with the money ...
🙆🏽‍♂️🤦🏽‍♂️🙆🏽‍♂️🤦🏽‍♂️
😡🤦🚶🚶🚶🚶

07/08/2023

World Coin 🔥

05/08/2023

Simba ni moja----Part 4932

Nywele juu ya macho ni Nyusi✅
Nywele kwenye jicho ni Kope✅
Nywele juu ya mdomo ni mashurubu✅
Nywele chini ya mdomo huitwa kionjamchuzi✅
Nywele kwenye kidevu ni Ndevu✅
Nywele kwenye mikono na miguu huitwa malaika.✅
Nywele kwenye...........🤔 Ama acha tu

04/08/2023

Hi Virgin 👋

03/08/2023

Umewai Kula maharagwe sahani mbili 🍚🍚 ukaongezea mahindi Choma moja na nusu 😗 Ukafeel hujashiba ukaongeza Ndizi 🍌🍌 tatu ... kidogo umetulia crush 😋 anakukol anakuambia "" Beb Leo Kam kejani kuna surprise yako""🙂 unatoka nduki 🏃🏾🏃🏾 unafika Kwa gate unamtext
anakukujia😜 Mahug kibao then anakufunga kitamba macho anakupeleka ady sitting 👌🏼 anakusho swry tulia Acha nigonge shower .... kidogo unaanza kukazwa na mnyambo 🙂 unainua mguu moja juu unajilia puuuh 😑 kananuka na tena ingine inashambulia sasa unaachilia na Nguvu kiasi 😀 Crush anarudi anauliza kwani Beb kitamba kinanuka spray gani
ii 😰😰 anakufungulia macho unapata familia yake yote imeshikilia mapua 😭😭 then babake Anasema ..... Kijana k**a ii ndo kusuta ni heri uende Vietnam 😓 mamake anaconclude .... Msichana ungeachilia ya tatu si ungetuua 🙂🙂
That happened to me now so am fainted😅

03/08/2023

This son of a bitch😬😬aliniplay na my bestie😭tena akanikula doh zangu 7k.my own hard earned money 😔😔then kumwitisha akanishw hizo ni vitu ndogondogo na nsimletee ushenzi or else ataniblock☹️☹️I was so hurt that I cried for a week nkifikiria about my future till I got over him.so jana akanitxt ati niende kwake nimgojee hao coz anaenda job mbali atarudi kesho.(In his mind bado anadhania tuko pamoja)so nmeenda tu juu nataka revenge😡😡ni Nini naeza mfanyia kwa hii hao enye hatawai sahau??nshamwaga maji ndoo tatu kwa bed😒😒

02/08/2023

My ex has bn calling me 😩after aliona pic zangu latest 🤗tangu niolewe nimekua Mali Safi🤗Kwanza nyuma acha tu🤗💯so he's bn texting and calling ati anataka tu kuniona🙄my man came across the texts 😩na akaona pia calls 😩 akaniita akanikalisha chini akaniuliza 😩sikukana😩bt nikamwambia mi I nolonger love my ex 🙅ata sitaki kumwona🧟akaniuliza anafanya kazi gani 🤷nikamshow ako na minimart yake anmanage 🤗hubby akanishow K**a ako na pesa acha tumchoree 🙄akaniambia nimtext nimshow tumeet 🙄na atume pesa ya uber tupatane tao🙄 nikamuuliza K**a ako sure hatafeel akaniambia K**a ako na pesa tumkule 🙄nikajua baas🤗morio akatuma Thao✌️hubby akanibeba na bodaa yetu🏃🏃Hadi Tao mind you Niko🤰kufika nikashuka nikaingia kwa restaurant tulikua tupatane 🤗hubby akanifuata nyuma akaketi a distance morio akakuja🤗akanihug tukaorder food🤗kidogo hubby akapita nikamuita "waah Steve nikamhug 🥰nikamuuliza unafanya Nini huku 🤗akaniambia alikua ameleta manzi yake but ashaenda🤗 nikamintroduce kwa ex K**a cuzo 🤗🥰akamshow akae chini aitishe chenye anataka🤗hubby akaitisha tuk**aliza 🤗ex akainsist anataka kunipeleka place ingine bt nikamlenga nikamshow cuzo ataenda kusema itabidi amrushe kitu 🤗akampea Thao mbili akamshow akanyangie😉kidogo nikaanza kujifanya naumwa na tumbo 😩 nikamshow I need some rest atudrop home na cuzo🙄sisi hao akatudrop home kukaa kaa nikaskia kamessage 3k ikaingia ati niende hosi 🤗 tuliingia na hubby kwa nyumba tukacheka tukaisha😂😂 na tukatumia landlord pesa ya rent😉anyway that's the kind of hubby natafuta🤗😉

28/07/2023

Court of Appeal lifts painance act suspension 😜

26/07/2023

Eldoret imenyesha tu kidoogo...kila mtu ako mteja!
Where are you guys?
God bless your hustles.

25/07/2023

Kna Dem yangu mkale nilikua namlamba akaniambia apo iko tamu,nikafikiria anaskia utamu,kutoka ivi mdomo yngu yote ilikua na damu, Akaniambia, nmekwambia apo iko tamu ukuskia,kumbe alikua anamaanisha hapo iko damu🤣🤣🤣

22/07/2023

Ni ukweli bendera ya shule ikianguka wanachange Uniform ama ilikuwa story za jaba?

21/07/2023

3 episodes in a week 😂😂
Kalenjin to the world 💯
Ready for the Sweden
Competitions😂😂😂

21/07/2023

From Sigor to Mosoriot know at Annex
Usiachwe nyuma na syllabus 🤣🤣🤣

20/07/2023

Umepata video ya Mosoriot KMTC ama Bado??? 😂😂

19/07/2023

RULES OF DATING SOMEONE'S WIFE;

1. Never take photos with her.

2. If you called and she hangs up, don't call her back, the husband is around.

3. Don't text her love messages.

4. Satan should not tempt you to sleep at her house even when her husband is out of the country.

5. Never book the same lodging every time you go for fun.

6. Do not involve your friends or her friends in your relationship.

7. If she calls you, receive but don't answer fast. Maybe her husband is the one calling trying to find out, let her talk first.

8. Don't call her my everything, she is borrowed.

9. If you find yourself at her place, just lift the dress or lower the trousers halfway during voting. Don't remove everything. In case things go wrong and you need to activate temple run.

19/07/2023

Azimio Lawyers led by Danstun Omari to file and Habeas Corpus application in court over the whereabouts of Embakasi East MP Babu Owino and Raila Odinga's Private Security Maurice Ogeta. Application seeks to compel the State to reveal where the trio are detained.

18/07/2023

Reporting live from sigor😂😂

16/07/2023

Did you know that:

1 . The space between your eyebrows is called
a glabella.
2. The way it smells after the rain is called
petrichor.
3. The plastic or metallic coating at the end of your shoelaces is called an aglet.
4. The rumbling of stomach is actually called a wamble.
5. The cry of a new born baby is called a vagitus.
6. The prongs on a fork are called tines.
7. The sheen or light that you see when you close your eyes and press your hands on them is called phosphenes.
8. The tiny plastic table placed in the middle of a pizza box is called a box tent.
9. The day after tomorrow is called
overmorrow.
10. Your tiny toe or finger is called minimus.
11. The wired cage that holds the cork in a bottle of champagne is called an agraffe.
12. The 'na na na' and 'la la la', which don't really have any meaning in the lyrics of any song, are called vocables.
13. When you combine an exclamation mark with a question mark (like this ?!), it is referred
to as an interrobang.
14. The space between your nostrils is called columella nasi.
15. The armhole in clothes, where the sleeves are sewn, is called armscye.
16. The condition of finding it difficult to get out of the bed in the morning is called dysania.
17. Unreadable hand -writing is called griffonage.
18. The dot over an “i” or a “j” is called tittle.
19. That utterly sick feeling you get after eating or drinking too much is called crapulence.
20. The metallic device used to measure your
feet at the shoe store is called Bannock device.
I thought you should know😋✔️🥳

14/07/2023

Boychild, Stay away from broke ladies, they are very fertile.

13/07/2023

Kapsabet-Kamobo-Kolong wueeh 🤔😰😰

27/06/2023

So this guy makes tea for 5 of us at his place. Before serving he is like guys sugar wasn't enough so one unlucky guy will get a cup without sugar. I was the unlucky one who got it. In silence and pain I took the tea. Little did I know that we were all unlucky 😂🤔

27/06/2023

18 Years... I don't date highschool boys.
21 Yrs... I don't date broke guys.
22 Yrs... I can't settle for less know my worth.
23 Years.... pregnant
25yrs... My child my everything, I love the woman I'm becoming.
27 yrs... Men aren't dogs,you can get one and love him.
30yrs... We nolonger go for looks we go for peace, loyalty and maturity.
33yrs...only a real and mature man will love you and your child like his own.
34 yrs my village people can't allow me have a boyfriend.
35 yrs... PATANISHO.I'm caro from Bomet with 2 kids looking for any man who can marry me I'm hardworking and God fearing woman.

26/06/2023

Breaking

SIAYA County deputy Governor saved by the Senate after a resounding vote supporting him

18/06/2023

Dear kalenjin men

Ten things that real men must do.

1.Tumia dem credit / pesa before akuombe.atakuheshimu na hatawahi kuomba pesa juu anajua ukiwa nayo unatuma.
2.Dont ask for a date, mwambie when are you visiting me hunny?
3.when she visits you, don't rush to bed,give her choices of food ndio achoose,usiulize eti umekula? Utatumia nini?
4.umpikie food ndio afurahie,usiende kwa Duka u buy
5.serve food kwa plate moja na usikule na haraka,Kula polepole ukimpigia story.
5.story iwe ya mature minds,ongelea maisha yako na yeye hapo mbele mkishaoana.
6.Mkishamaliza food akisema angependa kurelax kwa bed then ujue it's your time kucheza Ka wewe.take her to bed and don't hurry.describe how beautiful she is from her hair down stairs.hold her neck and kiss her forehead.
6.....
7.......... Breathing system Ile ya class five kuenda juu.tafuna polepole,akitema unatema,akimesa unamesa and not Vice versa,mbio uwachie vi****or ya mjengo.
8.umletee maji ya kuoga hadi kwa bafu ( warm water is an added advantage)
9.escort her mpk stage na akishapanda gari umlipie transport, give enough money..ukitoa pesa utoe kwa wallet ikionekana Acha ujinga za kutoa noti kwa walet ikiwa mfugoni.
10.Akiwa kwa gari umtext goodbye my queen.do so and you will thank me later....

MEINMAAT KAPISA😏🥺

10/06/2023

A crocodile in Costa Rica has made herself pregnant, the first recorded instance of a “virgin birth” in the reptile species.

09/06/2023

I was talking about clan totems to a crowd consisting of primary and secondary school boys at an event... and I went like, "matinye chitugul tyondo nyi inye"? The boys bursted out laughing. I was innocently asking them if they know about their animal totems, kwani "tyondo" ni mawhat again?

08/06/2023

Hello Kapsabet my city.

I am Jackie Jesang from Kabiyet, a mother of 3 and still beautiful. I am looking for a serious husband who will take me home and have 1 more kid with me. The following are the requirements that a man I need should meet.

1: He should be brown in color and more husband than anybody else across the planet.

2:He should have a Networth of around 1.5M in the account

3:He should be faithful enough and a religious person who knows who God is.

4:He should calm and non starter when it comes to dictating Family issues at any given time.

5:He should not have any other outside unless he explains why he sired with the lady he will identify.

6:He should not be above age of 38 Years, energetic and aggressive in terms of Hustle.

Finally should take my 3 kids to boarding schools where they will get better and quality Education

Advice her...?!!..

08/06/2023

PHONE CALLS THAT A KALENJIN HUSBAND MUST MAKE TO HIS WIFE IN A DAY

8AM - Karong’etye? Unee ting’oek en ng’etet? Unee tanyigonye? Soso sikemwa

10AM - Katagonyo pundiyot ii? Ak oromchi beek cheseger en keringet, ko chon igo oget koba oinet...

1PM: Karochop lanchi? Koomis Chepkemo? Ani inye ko unee eut? Kogele kogatorin kwendet ooh? Unee tos koropon ii? Haiyaa Soso sikemwa

4PM - Imii gaa ooh ana kemande? Lenen nee ng’eetaaon? Igochin simoit ooh (confirming if indeed she’s at home)... Amii kasit eeh baba, anyone Chumomos, aibun nee?

7PM - Karokwany ooh? Katagoropon ii? Ak olal maat iis en koristo... Haiyaa oamishen iis sikemwa... siigochi loochon simoit kigatke

9PM - So nee? Tomo iiru ooh? Kalyaan ile keeteb yugan ile omii ak ng’o? Ani suet ko unee? Koosob ii? Kogatagole nee matayat en ripot inigonye? Soso mara anyon Sadadei.. haiyaa sikemwaa karon

Good night

06/06/2023

Acha sasa zile za aty "when I was young I used to think I was a goat";;
Kuna sasa hizi emojies zenye zinajua vowels
😆- a
😃- e
😁- I
😲- o
😯- u
Na Kuna mtu atajaribu😂😂

06/06/2023

Madem size ya vidole mnaangalia ya kazi gani?😂😂😂

05/06/2023

Sweden declares s£x as sport, first European S£x Championship will take place next week.
WENYE WATAWEZA HII, KAZI KWENYU.

03/06/2023

My wife took my phone and deleted my girlfriend, Naomi's number and saved her own number as Naomi.

I didn't know that someone had told my wife about Naomi, I then got an SMS From Naomi asking for money 2,000 naira .I rushed to my wife and lied to her that I need 2,000 naira for an emergency.

I told her that my brother is sick and he needs the money urgently.

My wife gave me the money and I rushed to send it to the account number written in the message. When I was relaxing at home after work, I kept wondering if Naomi had received the money.

I sent her an SMS to find out if she had received the money. Her response was, "Call me now."
I went outside behind the house to make a call.eeeh
You can imagine my horror face when i heard my wife's voice instead of Naomi,
It's been three days am still standing outside.
I don't know how to get back into my own house!!!
Any advice plz....

03/06/2023

FOOTBALL ⚽

Inter Miami have offered Lionel Messi 50m euros per year (£42.9m) to spend four seasons in the MLS after the Argentina forward, 35, leaves Paris St-Germain this summer. (Sport)

France forward Karim Benzema, 35, will join Saudi Arabian side Al-Ittihad when his Real Madrid contract expires this month. (ESPN)

Croatia midfielder Luka Modric, 37, has also told Real Madrid he intends to accept an offer of 120m euros (£103m) to play in Saudi Arabia for the next three seasons. (Okdiario via Sport)

Newcastle are set to rival Manchester United for the signing of Nigeria striker Victor Osimhen, 24, from Napoli. (Gazzetta dello Sport via Mirror)

West Ham's England midfielder Declan Rice would prefer to stay in the Premier League this summer as he prepares to snub a move to Bayern Munich, with Arsenal and Manchester United most keen on the 24-year-old. (Mail)

Manchester City are close to finalising the signing of Croatia midfielder Mateo Kovacic, 29, from Chelsea. (Football Insider)

Celtic's Australian boss Ange Postecoglou could be confirmed as Tottenham's new manager as early as next week. (Sun)

English manager Sam Allardyce, 68, will not get a new deal to stay at Leeds after failing to keep them up in his four games in charge. (Telegraph)

Manchester City's Joao Cancelo is highly unlikely to make his loan move to Bayern Munich permanent this summer and the Portugal full-back, 29, does not want to play in England anymore - for City or Premier League runners-up Arsenal. (Abendzeitung - in German)

Bayern are set to entertain offers for Germany wingers Serge Gnabry and Leroy Sane, both 27, this summer, as well as Senegal forward Sadio Mane - just a year after signing the 31-year-old from Liverpool. (Mail via Bild)

Chelsea have turned down a £30m bid from Brighton for 20-year-old English defender Levi Colwill, who has spent the season on loan with the Seagulls. (Mail)

Inter Milan are pushing hard to sign Chelsea's English centre-back Trevoh Chalobah, 23. (Sta

31/05/2023

When i die i would like my body to be castrated

31/05/2023

Breaking News!!

Nandi County Students Stranded In Finland After County Gov't Allegedly Fails To Pay Fees

31/05/2023

I love cholocate. Read it again. This is how diploma holders fail DEGREE exams.