The Vindicator News

23/07/2023

BREAKING NEWS

The Brooker Highway is falling apart. Several key people are stuck. More as the story develops!

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22/04/2023

BREAKING NEWS:

BEAUTIFUL HELICOPTER FOUND ON ISLAND, FRESHLY GROWN, RIPE, YUMMY

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16/02/2023

BREAKING NEWS

Notorious BITCH Cate Blanchett has unleashed footies across Queenstown after she announced her intentions on abolishing the rural town on Jimmy Kimmel Live.

When asked why she did this, she only responded by saying "I'm Cate Blanchett. I do what I want."

More as the story develops!

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13/01/2023

WEEKEND UPDATE

The formerly living editor of the Vigilante News (may he rest his beautiful soul) has been revealed to be none other than Robot City's very own Rodney Copperbottom.

In this eulogy, I, The Vindicator, want to express that Rodney Copperbottom's heart was always in the right place. He always sought to deliver pristine and clean reporting and true blue Aussie glue. For after all, his parents did want a boy, right? It didn't hurt a bit.

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13/01/2023

BREAKING NEWS

Creatures with LOCKS and KEYS for heads have been spotted patrolling southern Tasmania's roofs.

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13/01/2023

BREAKING NEWS

The supreme overlord and chief magistrate, also known as the notorious champion of evil, most known as the founder of the Vigilante News, Mr. REDACTED REDACTED has tragically passed away following an incident relating to his health.

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29/10/2022

BREAKING NEWS

Occupants of white car leave white car to look at beautiful act of blue car being born in the wild Tasmanian bush.

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08/09/2022

BREAKING NEWS

Queen Elizabeth's health is critical. Reichskanzler Herman Goring is mobilising his supporters.

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11/03/2022

BREAKING NEWS

In an effort to be furtherly intolerable, notorious clothing shop Off Ya Tree has decided to start selling sympathetic autobiographies of controversial Austrian painters.

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11/03/2022

TRAFFIC UPDATE:

The margate train has started choo-chooing out of control all over southern Tasmania. Casualties are expected in the thousands, and delays are expected to last until Monday.

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10/03/2022

BREAKING NEWS:

Premier Peter Gutwein has confirmed the landing of multiple Ukrainian divisions on Bellerive Beach today. When asked why they are invading, the Ukrainians stated "We believe it is our right"

More as the story develops!

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18/08/2021

TRAFFIC UPDATE:

The entirety of Mount Wellington (Kunyani) landslid into the whole Hobart area. There have been no reported survivors. Take care on the roads today as there has also been some rain.

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17/08/2021

Now that our mourning period from Prince Philip's bucket kicking is over, we are pleased to report that Port Arthur has sunk back into the sea.

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09/04/2021

Dearest readers;

It is our ultimate displeasure to announce the death of his Imperial Majesty Emperor Philip - King of England, Scotland, Wales, Ireland, Emperor of India, King of the New World, Emperor of the British realm, and the Lord-Protector of all Christendom.

We mourn his great achievements to ensuring an English dominated world upon this Earth, and most importantly, his strive to establish an Australia free from the shackles of republican nonsense and anything counter to the monarchy.

For this horrible occasion, instead of taking our flag to the half-mast, we have decided to erect it to its fullest in order to show our respect and pride for our late great Emperor.

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18/02/2021

18/02/2021

BREAKING NEWS:

Eternal victory over the swine at Vigilante News today.

LONG LIVE THE VINDICATOR NEWS

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02/12/2020

TRAFFIC UPDATE:

A Boeing 747 has slammed into the side of the Tasman Bridge. Delays up to 50 minutes expected.

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02/12/2020

Breaking news!

A gang of cars stole several people in Gagebrook last night. More as the story develops!

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01/12/2020

Breaking news!

Premier Peter Gutwein really pi**ed off Sheldon Cooper today by stating that his favourite pair of socks were out of stock at Myer. Sheldon Cooper then laid waste to the greater Hobart area and has massacred everyone within a 100,000 km radius. Here is a picture from the scene:

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01/12/2020

Breaking news!
Snap, Crackle and Pop have been found butchered in Rokeby. This is the second string of murders following the death of Robert Johnson (Codename: Zer0).

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30/11/2020

Breaking news!
Robert Johnson (Codename: Zer0) was found completely mutilated and dead. Who did this? As far as we, the Vindicator News, is concerned, there could be no possible way of him being found out. These criminal gangs are much more sophisticated than we thought.

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30/11/2020

Today we'd like to show our support for the great undercover police agents of Tasmania! Here we have Robert Johnson (Codename: Zer0) who is currently investigating a supposed Human trafficking ring at number 1 risdon vale street. He is there right now! Be sure to honk your horns and wave hello as you go by!

Go Robert!

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17/11/2020

BREAKING:

NASA, SpaceX and the European Space Agency has announced in a joint conference that there is something sinister happening with Venus.

They have released this image.

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21/04/2020

Heart attack had a Kim Jong Un.

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05/04/2020

BREAKING NEWS

Covid-19 has invented a vaccination against humans.

Rejoice!

01/02/2020

A coronavirus infected with human died today due to infection. What will this mean for Tasmania?

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27/01/2020

The infamous dictator of Cambodia known as Pol Pot was tried at the supreme court of Tasmania today. He was found guilty with 3 dollars bail.

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23/01/2020

BREAKING NEWS

CHINA INVADED

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23/01/2020

BREAKING NEWS:

BIG JOHNSON from GAGEBROOK has consumed all of Gagebrook's supply of Ice and has gone absolutely crazy. The police refuse to intervene out of fear. Stay safe, everyone!

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13/12/2019

WEEKEND UPDATE:
After our staff decided to party for three months straight, we finally had the nerve to fire them and hire a new batch of souls to do our bidding. More honest and up-to-date news to come!!
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