Laugh at the Odds Podcast with Heidi & Dave

16/06/2024

18/04/2024

Sometimes the anticipation of a holiday, a birthday, a death day, (mother's day/father's day) can cause a lot of anticipatory anxiety. This is normal. Lean into it and know that the day will come; the day will pass; and you will survive it. Breathe and soften into the experience rather than brace against it.

destacados

03/04/2024

Death may come suddenly, or it may take awhile to arrive. But the sun goes down on every life. It’s not unusual to wish for your own death so that you can be with your loved one on the other side. This is normal. But wait your turn . . . your sunset will come. In the meantime, you are forever connected to your loved one on the other side. You don’t need death to be your connecter. You are connected, even now.☀

destacados

27/03/2024

For those of who you have never heard of it, Soaring Spirits International is a wonderful non-profit organization that has served the international widowed community for nearly two decades. Among its many helpful programs is Camp Widow, a very inclusive retreat for widows, widowers, and their family. They have also started the Public Health Initiative, and created a research survey on Grief Literacy that will ultimately help more grieving persons in the future. Please take a moment to complete it. Link is in the first comment below.

06/12/2022

There has been uptick in our podcast download activity despite us going on a hiatus last May.

Thanks to all who have listened, supported, and shared links to Laugh at the Odds Podcast with Heidi & Dave.

We’re proud of the 10 episodes we published last year, but had to take a break due to our crazy schedules, surgeries, and life in general. But we won’t be gone forever, and will come back strong in 2023. Stay tuned!

https://laughattheoddspodcast.buzzsprout.com

27/11/2022

I remember when Rich Kiamco uttered these beautiful and profound words on our last episode. Thank you, Rich, for being on our podcast!

Somebody quoted me, I don’t even remember saying this, I was being interviewed a few weeks after my beloved Sandy had died, right as vaccines were beciming available to young people interviewed me and this person dm’d me this pic. it’s a beautiful quote.
I must’ve been in such a deep painful fog but it reads so clear, does feel inspiring… Perhaps this is Thanksgiving gift to myself from the universe

04/10/2022

Today, I am asking you to start giving to yourself.
When you go to bed tonight and think about all the bad things that happened in your day be kind to yourself.
Tell yourself that you are worthy of a million stars, of the brightest moon and of a million open doors.
Because you are.

29/08/2022

No wonder our society is ill-equipped to support grieving people.

16/05/2022

From Christopher Poindexter

10/05/2022

(Cross posting. Copied from Kathryn of Widowednotalone. It’s great that there is an increasing number of resources for us and our little ones. Feel free to repost and share widely!)

Camp Erin 2022!
"Where children learn to grieve and heal."

A note from our Camp Director:

Hi from Camp Erin NYC,

We are off and running! Fingers are crossed for a healing weekend, August 26-28th, helping grieving families back at our favorite place……Camp Wayne!

Camper applications are coming in and volunteers are returning with a hop in their step and compassion, joy and hope in their heart.

It will be three summers since we experienced the magic of Camp Erin. So much has happened in the world in the past three years and events are unfolding daily. To be able to give children moments of support and comfort and be able to quiet the noise will be a privilege.

Cheers to looking forward and summer 2022!
- Ann Fuchs
Details
Date: August 26 - 28, 2022
Location: Camp Wayne for Girls, Preston Park, PA (Poconos)
2 ½ hours from NYC
Please note we DO NOT provide transportation

If you know of any families who could benefit from this weekend, please forward my email [email protected], or phone number
914-552-6919

Some facts and figures about childhood grief:

The New York Life Foundation created the Childhood Bereavement Estimation Model (CBEM) to better understand the number of children experiencing grief. Here is what they found as part of a 2-year long analysis of local, state, and national population data.

1 in 15 children will experience the death of a parent before adulthood
6.8% of children will experience the loss of a parent or sibling before 18, the equivalent to nearly 5 million children
Read more HERE

New York Life also conducted a survey among American school teachers which found that:

7 in 10 teachers (69%) currently have at least one student in their class(es) who has lost a parent, guardian, sibling, or close friend in the past year.
Students who have lost a parent or guardian typically exhibit:
Difficulty concentrating in class (observed by 87% of teachers)
Withdrawal/disengagement and less class participation (observed by 82%)
Absenteeism (observed by 72%)
Decrease in quality of work (observed by 68%)
Less reliability in turning in assignments (observed by 66%)

Camp Erin provides children experiencing with tools and resources to cope with their loss, within a traditional camp environment surrounded by peers experiencing similar emotions. If you know a child who could benefit from camp, or are interested in getting involved, please visit the links below.

GET INVOLVED:


CAMPER APPLICATION

VOLUNTEER

DONATE
Visit our website for more information!

COPE Foundation • [email protected] • www.copefoundation.org

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COPE Foundation
P.O. Box 1251
Melville, NY 11747
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COPE is a nonprofit grief and healing organization dedicated to helping parents and families living with the loss of a child.

15/04/2022

I Wish I Knew: Poems to Soothe Your Soul & Strengthen Your Spirit

22/03/2022

Want to help a grieving friend? Let them be sad.⁣
⁣Sadness is a natural response to loss, hardship, and death. It just is.⁣
⁣
And it's hard to know what to do when your friends are hurting. It sucks to see someone you love in pain. The thing is, you can’t cheer someone up by telling them to look on the bright side, or by giving them advice. It just doesn’t work.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
The trick is to lean into your helplessness in the face of your friend’s pain. Your job, honestly, is to feel awkward and stay there anyway. Just hang right out with their pain.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
When things are dark, it's OK to be dark. Really. Not every corner needs the bright light of encouragement. In a similar vein, don't encourage someone to have gratitude for good things that happened to them in the past or for good things that still exist. ⁣
⁣
Example: We recently we saw a person respond to someone's expression of sadness by telling them to shove down all the "bad feelings" and think about the good things they still have in their life. ⁣
⁣
NO! ⁣
⁣
First of all, just say no to unsolicited advice. When someone talks to you about how hard this is, notice your impulse to jump in with a solution, and then DON'T DO IT. Most of the time people are simply looking for acknowledgment about how awful this situation is. ⁣
⁣
Second, good things and horrible things occupy the same space; they don't cancel each other out.⁣ Sadness is healthy. Telling someone to look on the bright side or appreciate what they still have just tells them you're not someone they can talk with about their pain. ⁣
⁣⁣
Instead, mirror their reality back to them. When they say, "This sucks," say, "Yes, it does." It may seem too simple, but it's amazing how much that simple acknowledgement helps.⁣ It is an unfathomable relief to have a friend who does not try to dismiss or take the pain away.⁣
⁣⁣
To learn more about how to be the supportive friend you most want to be, visit refugeingrief.com & click "Someone I Know Is Grieving"⁣

18/03/2022

If you told me 7 years ago that I would be sitting in a Parisian restaurant, celebrating my birthday with someone other than my husband Arnel and a boy who uncannily looks like me but was not borne out of my body, I would have thought you were out of your mind.

But here I am, spending the most beautiful day in the most beautiful city of love with Dave and his (now our) son Benji. This week hasn’t been without its ups and downs, as I recalled so many memories from past trips here with Arnel. But I couldn’t have had a more thoughtful and loving partner to ride my grief waves with.

13/03/2022

If you are looking for a virtual/online support group, particularly if you are new and/or struggling, we cannot recommend the Widowednotalone program enough. Founder and grief coach Kathryn has been doing this for nearly two decades and has helped so many in the widowed community. No cost, but always happy to accept donations to keep her program going. Please contact her directly in the email below if interested.

02/03/2022

What a great idea!

Grief Garden

On view to members of the NYU community through Friday, May 27, 2022
Monday-Friday, 12:00-5:00 p.m.
at 8 Washington Mews

In the Grief Garden, visitors are invited to rest, meditate, and share their reflections on personal and collective loss and grief. A project of Khaty Xiong, the Spring 2022 Artist-in-Residence, the installation is a collaboration between the A/P/A Institute at NYU, Poetry Foundation, Smithsonian Asian Pacific American Center, and visitors. Postponed due to the pandemic, it now takes on new resonance.

Note on public health and accessibility: At present, our gallery is open only to current NYU staff, students, and faculty. All visitors will be asked to show an NYU ID and Daily Screener green pass upon entry. This venue has an elevator and is accessible for wheelchair users. Restrooms are single-stall, and all gender. If you need any accommodations, please email [email protected].

All are invited to write letters to their lost loved ones and contribute to the installation. Templates and instructions can be downloaded from our website.

NYU class and group visits: To arrange for an NYU class or group visit to the gallery, please email [email protected] with your preferred visit dates and times, and the size of your group (max 20 people).

21/02/2022

Treasure every moment!

20/01/2022

An alteration of being. A new definition of self.

11/12/2021

Friends - if you want to know how to help a grieving friend, here’s a great example. I probably would have thrown in a nice but inexpensive bottle of wine and maybe a small orchid or other flowering plant.

03/12/2021

Maybe not everyday, but definitely do things that scare you once in a while!

03/12/2021

Took the afternoon off from work to participate in a really cool project in Brooklyn. Hoping I don’t end up looking or sounding like a bumbling moron, and that I represent the widowed community well. Please send good vibes. 💞