I Internally Had a Laugh

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I Internally Had a Laugh Comedy , bizarre, insane , non sequitur , if it’s pointless , worthless , that’s our business !

Tv show Idea pitch … Beat Bobby Flay … but literally
15/12/2023

Tv show Idea pitch …

Beat Bobby Flay … but literally

12/06/2023

Dung beetle on his first date…
You smell like s**t ! …
Thanks !

05/06/2023

I’ve gotta say I was more than a little disappointed when I went the the Pinterest
Website and it wasn’t a site devoted to people interested in bowling

09/10/2022

I Think I Hate the First Mate
The Pirates and the Spyglass of Time

Page 4

Every good ship needs a few trusty officers to keep things running , allow me to introduce you fine folks to a few of them , to me they’re not just me crew
Theres me friends , me brothers in arms , this fella to the far right , that be Big Abe , we met Big Abe long about 7 years ago , we had stopped in Jamaica in a small port near Port Royal , we just mean to re supply , the typical , lemons , limes , mangoes , all manners of citrus , Loverboy greatest hits tape , or even Reo Speedwagon , but no such things existed yet ... the shop keeper had told of a massive slave uprising in and around Port Royal , so we thought it could be a opportune time to take adavantage of the chaos , and perform a little impromptu raid , we made the short sail around the coastline to find some major skirmishes all around the city, Cap’n John suggested it might be a good time to take down the cities armory , and liberate a few of there muskets , pistols and all the gunpowder and musketballs we could find , as we came ashore we first set our eyes on a man , not just a man , but a mountain of a man , this man was taking on 5 British soldiers at once , all fully armed with nothing more than what looked like a broom handle , he ripped the first guys arms off and beat him to death with his own arms , the second did the old patented Steven Segal neck snap ... the next two he had lined up in such a way that he ran them thru with the broom handle , and last man stood shaking as he grabbed the pistol out of the mans hands , aimed and shot the right thru his old Johnny C**k N’ Balls , our whole crew reacted with a wince and an audible “ ooohhh “ reacting to the pain , this caught the mans attentions as he turned to us... Cap’n John stepped forward and addressed the man carefully... “ Whoa friend , we’re just here as humble sailors a fortune , looking for the British Armory “ , the man still breathing heavily , but responded in a suprisingly calm voice ... “ I’ll take you to the armory , ill even help you load up , but you have to take me with you , and give me my fair share, if I stay here when more troops come they’re definitely going to kill me ... Cap’n John extended his hand and share a firm forearm / handshake and shared a wry smile with our new friend

08/10/2022

I Think I Hate the First Mate
The Pirates and the Spyglass of Time

Page 3

As Our 2 jam packed longboats tied up and docked
One of our men , Big Abe flipped one of the rock workers a piece of silver to keep a close eye on our boats , as the crew headed ashore I had to admire what a badass looking crew we were , and I had a quick though on what the Netflix movie trailer of the Movie of the book of
, I Think I Hate the First Mate ( The Pirates and the Spyglass of Time ) would look like ... now picture this , sweeping drone foot of the crew walking in a line down the pier , super slo mo like
Reservoir Dogs style , and if very much like that movie adaption to be directed by either Michael Bay and or Jerry Bruckheiner ...man that’ll be cool in about 400 to 500 years from now when Netflix is invented. It’s hard not to be taken by the beauty of Jost Van D**e , with its idyllic pristine beach , the kinda place that Jimmy Buffett would love to plop down a s**tty Margaritaville and cram some strikingly below average cheeseburgers down your mouth hole and don’t forget the merch ! I suppose it’d be about time to introduce you to the rest of me crew , well at least the main characters, the ones important to the story and not just the NPC’s hanging in the background. Well you already knows about your truly and Ol Cap’n John ... Jalepeno John ? Likes I said earlier we be still workshopping a fitting nickname ... the rest of the officers on the ship are a diverse bunch for sure , Modern Piracy today magazine named used the 43rd most diverse crew on the high seas ( were coming for you Seamanal Vessel the 42nd most diverse ship
, the hilariously named Portuguese merchant ship , they had a elderly Asian le***an woman in a wheelchair in their crew , but she was killed on her first day onboard the ship with a rogue cannonball to the face )

08/10/2022

I Think I Hate the First Mate
The Pirates and the Spyglass of Time

Page 2

We had managed to sneak our way thru heavily British patrolled waters all thru the British Indies
Past the stronghold of Tortuga and to the small enclave of Jost Van D**e , probably named after the comedy duo of Dick Van D**e and Jerry Van D**e ... we’d been out a sea for months and were in desperate need of suppliers , big old sacks a flour with with , and other dry goods , and you guessed it a whole boat load of lemons and a s**t load of limes , no scurvy on this boat ! , we dropped anchor in the small bay at JVD , and the crew were itchin to get on dry land , you see , these are grown men , and grown men got needs , needs that no manatee can satisfy , cuz lord knows we’ve tried
The small village at JVD had a few taverns and a few houses of ill repute , which is what the boys were in desperate need of , they were fit to blast a few ladies thru the walls , the men took the long boats and headed for shore , Capn John among them , now ol’ Capn John was a man of honor , and surely wouldn’t be visiting no wh**es , he had heard that there was a doctor in town now and he had every intention of finding him , to see if he could get some relief for his aching back , you see 60 plus years of roping and rigging had taken a toll on Ol Johns back , and if John had any weaknesses it was to overshare , and every man within a 1,000 nautical miles had to hear all about ol Johns back problems , so he set out on a mission to find a doctor and find a bit of relief

07/10/2022

I think I hate the first mate
The pirates and the spyglass of time

Page 1

Land ho ! ... or Land, Ho ... it’s all in the phrasing they say. We were nothing more than your run of the mill Motley Crew , and not even the good kind with Vince Neil and Tommy Lee. Just a rag tag bunch of scallywags... that is until one fateful day when a bit of luck , a seasoned crew , a map of unknown origins , a one legged w***h named Dixie and a trusty and moderately seaworthy vessel named The McGuffin came together to aid us in finding the greatest lost artifact of all time , the legendary ... Spyglass of Time. So you says to yourself , self , what is The Spyglass of Time?
But now where are my manners. Let me introduce myself , I’ll be the narrator of this here tale , my name is Bruce and I be the Quartermaster of this fine ship , I’m also a huge fan of the band Quarterflash , and oh there so much more to the band than Harden my Heart , the have a deep catalog, that sax gets me every time
I joined the crew about 7 years ago after serving under Cap’n John for 2 years , but you know all about the dreaded Cap’n John , the most respected pirate to ever sail the high seas , he earned the nickname ... Jolly John , and then Jovial John , and then Ron John , ok so we had been work shopping a good nickname for quit a long time for ol John , and then he up and disappeared on us

23/09/2022

Probable plots for episodes of Dr Quinn medicine woman

1) trouble with one of the townspeople
2) a sick woman in childbirth
3) bears , bears , and more bears
4) those damn native Americans
5) a storms a brewin
6) a missing child
7) town drunk gets caught boinking a sheep again
8 ) the townspeople come together to build a cabin for a family in need
9) a mans horse breaks down in a small town and he meets a lovely young woman who shows him the true meaning of Christmas
10) dr Quinn gets her medical license revoked for selling co***ne again

If you were a boy growing up in the 80’s Then you definitely had thoughts about being the meat in a Wilson sisters sandw...
23/09/2022

If you were a boy growing up in the 80’s
Then you definitely had thoughts about being the meat in a Wilson sisters sandwich

23/09/2022

Somewhere out there exists something like a Facebook group of 30,000 members or more that is entitled

“ people who were surprisingly underwhelmed by the Grand Canyon visitors center “

23/09/2022

Growing up I didn’t just “ avoid the Noid “ I was so passive aggressive with him
That eventually he just left me alone

23/09/2022

You can bet your sweet , sweet ass
That at any given time in Japan some poor soul is getting crushed to death by a vending machine

23/09/2022

If walking around in short shorts as a mid 40 something year old man with one ball hanging out is wrong ... then I don’t wanna be right

23/09/2022

I always wanted to finish a sentence with a random “ mo********er “
For example ...
pump the brakes mo********er
Or
Catch any fish today mo********er ?
Or
Shove that AARP card up your ass mo********er !

23/09/2022

Who the Hell kept Dr. Quinn medicine going for
6 painfully long and agonizing seasons ?

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