Come Back Podcast (2024)

09/09/2024

“I grew up in Manti, loved church all growing up, had a great experience with leaders and made a lot of friends.

I served a faithful mission in Nebraska.

My testimony of the restored gospel was so strong that nothing could shake it.

I think Satan took that as a challenge.

I always loved going to church.

But year after year went by and I became busier and busier with work.

By year 4 in my new business I now had 3 kids, was making quite a bit of money and life juust seemed good.

Looking back at those 8 years after my mission I now see the work the adversary did.

He patted me on my back for my faithful missionary service and scripture memorization and knowledge of the scriptures and told me ‘you’re right, you know the truth’.

Convincing me, indirectly, that reading the scriptures or studying the scriptures wasn’t necessary for me.

I had a recommendation from a friend’s dad to follow this Tiktoker and one night I went on a bender.

It wasn’t anti but it contained a lot of things I had never even thought about the bible and raised some concerns and questions even about the validity of the resurrection of Jesus.

I normally didn’t have Tiktok but the algorithm really started to change and that’s when a lot of these voices about the Book of Mormon and the restored gospel started to have my attention.

It got to the point where I was deciding whether or not to pay my tithing when I started to experience just some really great anxiety.

I didn’t know anything anymore.

I didn’t know whether the Book of Mormon was true or if Joseph restored the gospel or if priesthood was restored.

One day in the summer of 2022 I decided I’m just going to read the Book of Mormon cover to cover and kneel and pray every day and ask God if he called Joseph as the prophet to restore the gospel, if he helped Joseph translate the Book of Mormon using seer stones, and if those who have succeeded him were called of Him as well.

My prayers were answered— all of them. And I am just so grateful for the restored gospel and for the Book of Mormon.”

02/09/2024

“I joke that I’m a ‘born again Mormon’.

I grew up in an amazing home with loving parents who were strong in the gospel.

I started forming a testimony at a young age but started partying as a teenager and slipped away.

I first tried smoking w**d when I was 14 years old.

I knew it was wrong but it was fun and didn’t seem so bad at the time.

This led to a full blown drug addiction to pain killers and opiates that lasted years.

It took a few trips to jail and a lot of misery for me to decide to put the gospel to the test.

What followed were many miracles and blessings.

I now live a life I never thought possible with the most incredible wife and 4 beautiful daughters.

Jesus Christ and the gospel can change you. It’s the best way to find true peace and joy in the world!

I have a strong testimony of the Book of Mormon, the word of wisdom, and my savior Jesus Christ.

‘No one can sink lower the light of Christ shines’.

I hope my story can help someone.”

Derek’s story is out now.

26/08/2024

“I was raised in the church and eventually served a mission and got married in the temple to my highschool sweetheart who had just returned from his mission.

However, both of us were struggling with our testimonies and we went inactive.

Within the first year of our marriage, my father in law passed away and everything sort of fell apart.

I was not able to comfort my husband because I didn’t know what I believed in.

We both fell into heavy drinking, partying and occasional drug use.

Our marriage fell apart and we eventually got a divorce.

I moved back in with my parents who tried to nudge me back into church.

Both of them at different times sent me your podcast and told me to listen.

I remember getting a link from my dad one day to ‘The Come Back Podcast’ and I audibly groaned and rolled my eyes.

I continued to explore single life with no religious direction or relationship with God.

Nothing truly terrible happened.

I had fun but I also felt like my life had no direction.

I felt purposeless and a little lost.

Around this time I met someone who has changed my life.

He is a friend of mine who decided to serve a mission at the ripe age of 23.

Whenever I spoke to him, his testimony and confidence in it stuck with me and made me want to be better.

I wanted to be more like him.

My little brother (who is an active member) is my best friend.

He is so important to me.

He called me one day and told me that he and his girlfriend would be getting married in the temple eventually and that I should be there.

The idea of waiting outside of the temple while my best friend got married fueled a fire in me.

I went to YSA the next sunday and met with the bishop.

I started listening to your podcast everyday!

Multiple episodes a day.

It has been huge in reminding myself that it is possible and that I can do it.

I am now a very active and involved member and my testimony is stronger than I ever thought it could be.

I am working towards my temple recommend because my brother gets married in 3 months!

I will get to be there in that room and I am so so grateful for that.”

Mary’s episode is out now.

18/08/2024

“I was adopted from foster care as an infant.

I grew up in a gospel centered home.

Loving family.

Good childhood.

As I grew I had questions about my biological family.

No one could answer.

I felt like I had a missing piece.

I got a scholarship to play Division 1 soccer at a college close to home.

Living the college life.

Parties, classes and soccer.

Didn’t leave much room for the church.

So I stopped going.

I thought I was happy.

Living my best life.

Then before I knew it- I had an unplanned pregnancy.

My world turned upside down and I felt completely alone.

Those next 9 months were still the most spiritual times of my life.

Christ and the atonement became real and palatable.

I chose the lifelong journey of adoption for my baby and I.

6 months after I placed my birth daughter for adoption I found my biological family.

A true miracle.

As the storms of life crash on me, and I feel as though I am drowning, I continually find myself reaching for the Savior, just like Peter.

Christ is always there.

Waiting.

Loving.

Comforting.

As I come back.

To him.

To the fold.

Another storm I recently had was choosing to get divorced 2 years ago after a 12 year temple marriage.

It was the second hardest decision of my life next to adoption.

Being a member of the church and being divorced is hard.

But Christ has been my partner these past 2 years.

I believe as we all walk this covenant path we step off continually.

Get lost.

Come back.

We are all life long converts.

As a single mom of 4 kids at 37 years old I am continually coming back to myself.

To God.

To the gospel.

I am thankful for my storms for they have made me who I am.

Christ is always ready for me to come back.”

Jori’s story is out today.

11/08/2024

“My parents are of Samoan descent, Olomoana & Dora Afemata.

I’m the youngest of 8 children- 6 brothers and 1 sister.

I grew up in Paramount, Compton, and Long Beach areas in my childhood years.

In the 80’s and 90’s, I only saw 3 types of lifestyle, Church, Sports and Gang banging.

I was born and raised in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

My mom was a Christlike person we strived to be like.

My Father was hard working, but a discipliner.

I followed my older brothers footsteps into gangs at an early age.

By 3rd grade, I started mimicking his ways.

After high school graduation I became inactive in the church but very active in the streets.

I was married in 2001 to my wife Sabrina Afemata and had 5 children (Ahriyah, Ahlijah, Angelina, Ahqillez, Ahpollo) with her from 2001 to 2012.

I lost my Mom in 2008, that was a devastating loss for me and my family.

In December, 2019 I started to make my way back to church.

May 2020 I got my Melchizedek Priesthood but in June 2020 I lost my 11 year old son Ahqillez in tragic accident.

I held on to the iron rod, and currently serve as a ward clerk.

In 2021, I also help form an organization called FOU MOVEMENT that helps former gang members come to Christ.”

Peter’s story is out now- and this is one you DO NOT want to miss! ❤️

05/08/2024

“I am the youngest of 23 sons that my father Rulon Clark Allred had, of 48 children in total.

My mother was the 4th wife of the 7 original plural wives my dad had.

My dad was unique in the fact that he had been appointed the leader of the A.U.B. church (Apostalic United Brethren group) that had roughly 10,000 members at the time I was born.

When I was 15 years old on May 10th 1977, Two women in disguises burst into my dad’s Naturopathic doctors office and shot him 9 times.

This was a really hard time in my life, not only because my dad had been brutally murdered, but I had to start High School in the fall and I didn’t know how my friends would take it.

I met the love of my life Kayleen Mckinnon in 1979.

We were raised in the polygamist group so we were taught and expected to live plural marriage.

We had 17 chances to take on more wives, but with each time we were approached by a girl to marry into our family or we asked about a girl, Kayleen and I would go on a 3 day fast with much prayer to know the Lord’s will, and everytime without fail the Lord would tell us, ‘No it’s not right.’

We wondered, why?

My sister Colleen had recently left her polygamist husband and joined the LDS Church.

She asked us if we would read a book that her Stake President had lent her.

We looked at the book and knew it would forever change our lives.

Kayleen and I read the book along with The Book of Mormon, and many books and scriptures over the next 6 months.

We prayed and fasted.

In November of 1997, we had come to a point in our lives where we had to know for ourselves if we should stay in the A.U.B. group or join the L.D.S. Church.

So we did as Joseph the Prophet did, James said ‘If any of you lack wisdom let him ask of God who giveth to all men liberally and upbraideth not.’

I was on fire with the Lord’s spirit, testifying to my heart and soul.

I have never felt so much peace, joy, and love from my Heavenly Father!

He Lives and answers our Sincere prayers!

I now knew for myself we needed to be baptized and confirmed, members of the Lord’s true church.”

Rob’s story is out now.

03/08/2024

All time favorite book 🩶

29/07/2024

“I was raised in the church in northern Wyoming.

My wife and I skied for the first time together when we were in fourth grade during a school ski trip.

This started our passion for skiing and snowboarding that would last until the present time.

On Christmas Eve 2010, Kelli and I were skiing with our 5 year old Daughter Elise and 3 year old daughter Milli.

After I had taken a few runs with Elise, I traded her off to Kelli so that she could see how well she was skiing.

During their second run, one of Elise’s skis came off.

As Kelli was helping her get her ski back on, a 23 year old snowboarder riding at approximately 50 mph collided with my girls.

The snowboarder died, Kelli was severely injured sustaining a traumatic brain injury, and most tragic for us, Elise was killed by the collision.

After multiple uplifting, powerful, amazing spiritual experiences, and Kelli’s miraculous recovery after months at Craig Hospital in Denver, I crashed spiritually.

Beyond the grief I worked through, I struggled with anxiety and depression resulting from PTSD that I didn’t understand.

I turned to alcohol to self-medicate and found myself doubting the existence of God.

I was never fully physically inactive but went spiritually inactive for a couple of years as a functioning alcoholic.

People came out of the woodwork to convince me to leave my faith that I never would have expected.

I started to believe many of the falsehoods about the church that are out there as a result and was ready to walk away completely.

I was skeptical of everything and angry at God (when I chose to believe that he existed).

Because of my amazing wife, a phenomenal bishop, and a small group of great friends, two of which are not members of the church, I was able to choose Christ, and come back.

In 2016 I started working with the National Ski Areas Association and started the Ride Another Day safety campaign to prevent ski/snowboard collisions and founded the Snow Angel Foundation in 2023 to continue this mission nationwide.

I’ve been serving as the Branch President for three and a half years and continue to do my best to raise my four kids.”

22/07/2024

Jesse & I grew up in the and testimonies at a young age.

As years went by, we both experimented with drugs and alcohol, which ultimately led us to full blown he**in addictions.

We met for the first time when I was 18 & he was 23, at an LDS 12 step meeting.

Our paths had not crossed before that (though we lived down the street from one another and had the same friends) and wouldn’t cross again for 5 more years- until we were both sober and going back to church.

We’ve both experienced the bo***ge that comes from leaving the safety the gospel provides.

Some people call the church restrictive, or think it demands too much.

From our experience, true restriction comes when you are a slave to a substance.

And true freedom, peace & joy come from obeying what the Lord asks us to do.

The fruits of the gospel are evident.

We were he**in addicts, life was dark, and full of misery.

And because of the atoning sacrifice of our Savior, we’ve experienced a true change of heart.

Our lives have been transformed.

We both have 11 years of sobriety, we were married in the Bountiful, UT temple, and have three beautiful kids.

Howard W Hunter said, “Those of us who have partaken of the Atonement are under obligation to bear faithful testimony of our Lord and Savior.“

So, this week’s episode is Jesse & I sharing our experience of overcoming our addictions, creating new lives, experiencing a change of heart, and choosing to come back to the Lord’s church.

We love the gospel, and it is an honor for us to share our hearts with you. ❤️

14/07/2024

“As a missionary, I met many Christians: Lutherans, German Baptists, Catholics, etc.

I began to wonder: Who am I to say that the doctrine of these religions are not true?

Who am I to disregard their spiritual experiences, when they sound so much like mine?

If they believe as fiercely as I do, who am I to say they don’t have it right?

Who am I to dismiss their devoted, faithful dedication to deceiving illusions?

What’s more, I wondered, Who are we—any of us—to say who God is or isn’t?

Is there even a God at all?

Because in the grand scheme of things… all these earthlings with big conflicting ideas about supernatural truths look pretty foolish.

For all I knew, I was illusioned.

Illusioned just like everybody else who believed.

Feeling spiritually unable to receive revelation or direction, my intellect began to work overtime to compensate for my disabled gift of spiritual discernment.

I became overly-analytical, and my perception of the world became far too based on facts and objectivity to be called “balanced”.

Though I didn’t have scholarly terms for them yet, I began to think of the world in terms of relativism.

I was becoming an existential nihilist.

But, I held on.

Even if for a couple years after my mission I was clinging to the iron rod, not holding fast.

From the outside, no one would guess that I was only *partially* sold on this whole church and religion thing.

No one would guess I was thinking about leaving the church.

Now, doubts no longer scare me like they used to—now I just observe them and say, ‘Hmm.’

And the truth is, even though I frequently feel like my skepticism certainly outweighs my certainty, I am at peace and Jesus Christ keeps me.

He keeps me in the church.

He keeps me holding fast to faith.

Because today during the sacrament… I felt that Jesus Christ’s sacrifice, though I hardly understand it, somehow helps me.

Jesus Christ did something for me.”

Hailey’s episode is out now.

08/07/2024

“There is no way, in mortality, to get through it by yourself.

You can’t push, you can’t shove, you can’t design, you can’t do any of that- even if you’re not on drugs!

You must turn yourself over to a loving Heavenly Father and then there is this capacity for the Savior to enable you.

He does internal work and changes you.

You think ‘This is different. I’m different than I was.’

And I give them the credit.

Luckily, they caught me before I passed away and helped me out.”

On this week’s episode, John shares his story of going from a member of the high council, to a crack addict, and back.

01/07/2024

“I was raised in a strong LDS family and active in church growing up, but I was always attracted to the wilder side of life.

I didn’t fit the mold of a ‘good’ LDS girl, and didn’t know how to reconcile the things I was attracted to and still be part of the church.

When I moved out for college, the first Sunday in my new place I thought, ‘No one knows I’m even here; I don’t have to go to church today…’

One Sunday turned into countless Sundays, and days turned to almost a decade of being totally inactive.

I didn’t know how to live a so-called ‘clean’ life; it seemed so boring and unrealistic.

I felt justified in my choices, and had incredible worldly experiences with fascinating people, immersed in a scene of music, travel, art, and poetry.

After several years of a very temporal lifestyle, I was frequently feeling more nagging thoughts that I wasn’t realizing my divine potential.

I couldn’t sleep, I felt a very real darkness around me.

My soul was in constant anguish.

I knew I needed to make significant changes in my life.

Who do I talk to?

Where do I turn?

…What if I tried to pray to God?

It had been nearly a decade since I had sincerely prayed.

Unsure of where to begin, I knelt down, folded my arms, and simply began, “Dear Heavenly Father...”

Instantly, a profound darkness enveloped me, and an unseen force gripped and overwhelmed me with fear, twisting and squeezing me from within.

Recognizing it as the adversary, I cried out to God for help.

The darkness in my stomach swiftly dissipated, replaced by a powerful warmth that flooded over me.

A week later I was walking into a building I had never set foot in, down a hallway I had never seen, to meet with a Bishop I didn’t know.

He tenderly listened to my tearful confession of a decade worth of poor choices.

The spirit in the room was unmistakable and the bishop and I cried together.”

Emily’s story is out now.

24/06/2024

“In 2008 I buried a daughter.

She was only 2 1/2 months old.

After my sweet Jacey died there were days that I felt the Savior carry me.

It was in 2013, my husband at the time showed me this book he had been reading about freemasonry.

He took me into his home office and continued showing me content on the internet that I had never heard of before and it took only minutes, yes, just minutes for me to be completely swayed.

I didn’t know how to ‘be’ or how to exist without the gospel.

I felt like I had a glimpse of what Alma talked about being wracked with torment.

I felt this wrestle between heaven and hell.

I took off my garments.

I did not stop going to church, I’m not sure why either.

It took a few weeks for me to finally speak to my bishop.

I thought I would be shunned and that my ward family would turn away from me.

My bishop shocked me.

I poured my heart out to him and explained all that had been going on.

He looked at me and then said, ‘Heather, this is great news!’

He began drawing a staircase.

At the top he drew a stick figure, me, and said I was stuck here, stagnant, on this plateau and in order to proceed up (he drew more stairs), the Lord needed to ‘grow’ me and challenge me.

He set me up with a gospel scholar in the ward who came to my home to answer the questions I had.

I realized there is so much that just can’t be answered and I have to rely on faith to see me through.

I spoke to a good friend who happened to be black and that was one of my many issues with the church.

She told me her story and bore her testimony to me.

There was so much damage done to my heart and my testimony, but not the kind of damage that is irreparable.

Today, in 2024, I teach Gospel Doctrine in my ward, I attend the temple and I serve as a service missionary at the Gilbert, Arizona temple.”

Heather’s episode is out now.

16/06/2024

“I joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints just before I turned 13.

My widowed mother had married a member of the Church, and we all joined.

But I was still depressed over the sudden death of my father and nothing much sank very deeply into my heart.

I did the things I was supposed to do, but during my teen years my doubts began to grow, spurred on by disaffection with the behavior of certain leaders in my ward.

By the time I got to BYU, I had one foot in and one foot outside the Church. Away from home and prying eyes, with more-worldly roommates leading the way, I drifted further and further from the doctrines and precepts I had never fully absorbed into my soul, until finally I let my doubts consume me.

I mounted the steps of the great and spacious building and there I stayed for more than half a century.

I was never hostile to the Church; in fact I defended it from the ignorant comments of friends who knew only the misleading rumors they’d heard.

Like many, I considered myself “spiritual, but not religious.” I was glad my sisters who had stayed in the Church had their faith to sustain them through difficult life circumstances, but I was certain I’d never need such a “crutch.”

I thought I was strong enough to face the rigors of the world on my own behalf.

I made it (barely) through a troubled first marriage without the help of religious belief and continued through my life, finding happiness with my new life companion, not realizing something vital was missing.

Various experiences during those years convinced me that we all have eternal spirits and that life continues after bodily death, but that didn’t make me believe in “organized religion.”

I continued on my way, struggling through the long-term effects of repressed grief and my beloved second husband’s surprise diagnosis of serious heart disease.

At one point, after 9/11, feeling the need for the comfort of the Sunday-school tenets of my youth, I began attending a Presbyterian church.

After a few months, and after I was ordained an elder, I felt strongly called to become a Presbyterian minister.”

(Continued in comments)

07/06/2024

Thank you all for your love sent our way with our baby ❤️

Names are pretty special to my husband and I… and I wanted to share with you a little bit about our little girl and her name, because it is something that I feel is illustrated so beautifully in this space.

We went back and forth for months on what we would name our baby girl.

My other kids’ names come from the first Stone’s to be baptized in the church.

We tossed around several family names from pioneer ancestors, and people we felt connected to in our family history.

But nothing felt right…

A few weeks ago I went to the temple with the intention of connecting with my Heavenly Father and gaining clarity on what we should name this little girl.

That temple trip was one of the most incredible experiences I’ve ever had.

Throughout the endowment session, the word grace was mentioned multiple times, in reference to Christ.

Each reference hit me like a lightning bolt.

I knew this little girl was named Grace.

And she was going to do big things for her Savior here on earth.

My husband & I have experienced the Savior’s grace in our lives that is undeniable- at a time where we were seemingly too far gone- past repair.

What could be more beautiful than naming our sweet girl after one of Christ’s most incredible gifts, one that has transformed our family in such a drastic way.

“It is likewise through the grace of the Lord that individuals, through faith in the Atonement of Jesus Christ and repentance of their sins, receive strength and assistance to do good works that they otherwise would not be able to maintain if left to their own means. This grace is an enabling power that allows men and women to lay hold on eternal life and exaltation after they have expended their own best efforts.”

Our sweet Grace, thank you for serving as a forever reminder of our Saviors love, His grace, and His ability to help you, and those around you, achieve the seemingly impossible. ❤️

We will be back June 16! 🎉

02/06/2024

🫶

27/05/2024

“I was raised heavily steeped in the gospel since birth.

I came to love the scriptures - letting that faith carry me into the next exciting chapters of life- into a young temple marriage, into bearing my heart and testimony though singing, songwriting, performing for the church in various aspects- EFY albums, my own records, onto stages, chapels, amphitheaters, all sharing my heart in service of my love for the gospel.

The most cherished blessing of my life was and forever will be, becoming a mother.

One of the greatest highlights in serving at the time, through heavy faith, preparation and prayer - was also being blessed to play the role of Emma Hale Smith in both the lm ‘Joseph Smith, Prophet of the Restoration,’ and ‘Emma Smith, My Story.’

The sacred experiences that transpired in those years laid a testimony in my heart for the Prophet Joseph Smith and the restoration of the gospel.

But even still.

In all the speaking, singing, firesides,
in all the testimonies given, there was something missing for me.

My marriage at the time had a steady undercurrent of challenges- we married young, and neither of us were equipped to handle the ongoing repercussions of an addiction my then-husband struggled with.

For me, it became a corrosion on my heart, on my self-esteem and self-worth.

I slowly became lost.

Around the last year we were married, I started to slip- seeking my worth elsewhere.

That’s how it happens.

I felt like I couldn’t relate to sisters in the church at the time, that, overall, the women’s presence in the gospel felt limited, shrouded in guilt and shame-based messaging, and with the onslaught of trials faced in 17 years of our marriage handling the addiction best we knew how, I didn’t have much support from the leaders or community for what I was privately enduring.

For this and many more reasons, I slowly began to step away from the church, from faith, from temple attendance, from my covenants, from the spirit, from the promises and protection of God.

Not long after, I found myself sitting in a council room with my membership in question.

The decision was made.

I was excommunicated from the church.”

(Cont. in comments)

20/05/2024

I grew up in Rotterdam and my mother was already a member but inactive at the time I was born.

I am the youngest of 4 and I am the only dark person in a white family, because my mother had an affair with a black man.

She stayed with her white husband and so I had two white parents and all white siblings.

When I was 4, my mother went back to church. My dad wasn’t a member (I never met my biological father) and so my mom went to church with my eldest sister, my 2 years older brother and me.

When I was 12 I stopped going to church.

Until I was 15, I did about everything God had forbidden and that ended in a few su***de attempts.

Then not long after that I helped my sister to move and she had also asked some sister missionaries to help her.

I felt loved by them and decided I wanted to see them again, and so I went to church that Sunday.

I got a real desire to know for myself whether the church was true or not.

I served a mission despite having homosexual feelings, and after my mission I really struggled and I didn’t want to have these feelings, but I also didn’t want to live a celibate life.

In order for me to be happy, I thought I either have to get rid of those feelings, or I would just leave the church, which would be really hard for me because I had a very strong testimony of the gospel.

So I read all the books and stories of people who had overcome those feelings and also books and stories and especially stories in the scriptures of people who had overcome hard things.

(Continued in comments)

13/05/2024

“I grew up a devout member of the church, and had a strong relationship with God and many spiritual witnesses.

I served a mission in Mexico, loved preaching, teaching, and witnessing, but could feel my natural skepticism growing.

I returned to BYU and just couldn’t reconcile the secular theories (evolution, physics, cosmology) with what I was learning with my understanding of the gospel at the time and became an atheist, not just doubting the existence of God, but completely at a loss of how I might ever believe again.

Because my issues were not with the Church/gospel/prophets, which I always loved, I continued to be active.

I got engaged (she was fully aware of my struggles, but trusted I would get things figured out), and before getting sealed in the temple, I approached the Lord, a wreck, and in His mercy He showed me a sign.

After that, it still took years to fully rebuild my belief, but from that moment I at least knew if was possible.

Today, I am back to being a devout member of the church, happily married, 9 kids, oldest son on a mission, teaching my children how to avoid the same traps.

My story is for those that struggle or leave the church for intellectual or skeptical reasons, but are still searching for some way back, as well as those who have skeptical loved ones who have left and perhaps want to understand them better.”

Brett’s story is out tonight.

Come Back Podcast