Mac's Healthy Love Lab

24/04/2024

What’s the most important aspect to you in a relationship?

21/04/2024

Exactly - how another treats you does not dictate your worth.

19/04/2024

Do you know the differences?

16/04/2024

Unless there are young children involved there is no need to be communicating with an ex partner. If your partner communicates with a past flame, and this makes you feel uncomfortable, then you need to check in with your boundaries. A healthy partner takes on board their current partner’s feelings, and should take appropriate action.

“If the past is still involved, it will weaken the foundations of the present.” - Mac’s Healthy Love Lab 🧪 2024.

13/04/2024

Do your healing, to makes changes from within. Don’t expect to swim around in the same bowl, and catch a different fish! 🎣

13/04/2024

Drop me a message if you would like to start your healing journey, if you need help to leave a toxic relationship, or if you would like to empower the self to attract healthy love ♥️

Sessions available online, one to one, via video call. This is the start of looking after you!

10/04/2024

09/04/2024

Do you feel you are deserving? This is what trips one up - when one’s self worth or self esteem isn’t on par.

07/04/2024

Don’t you just love ‘me me me’ folk. You know the ones that if you are describing how you feel, or something you are struggling with, they just take it back to themselves - like how they have to manage! Always the victim.

06/04/2024

When someone is asked for something, and they say ‘not at the moment’ - without any further explanation, then it is nothing more than a ‘carrot dangling’ reply, usually said, to create a situation where the other person is left in deliberate limbo.
A genuine person would state ‘when’ the right moment would be, and explain ‘why’ - allowing the other person to address if there is any additional criteria to be met.
This is usually done in avoidance to the subject at hand, by withholding a direct answer and reason, and is often identified as controlling and manipulative behaviour.

02/04/2024

For a successful relationship all parties must have the 3 skill criteria - Conpatibility, Communication, & Comprehension.

31/03/2024

Please drop me a heart below in the comments, and a wee share - it helps get my posts seen.
Sunday Story - grab a hot drink, relax, ponder, and reflect.

Once upon a time, there was a wise old man who lived in a small village. He was known throughout the land for his wisdom and his ability to solve any problem that came his way.

One day, a young man came to the wise old man and said, “I have a problem. I have been wronged by someone and I want revenge. What should I do?”

The wise old man replied, “Before you seek revenge, you should ask yourself if it is worth it. Revenge may make you feel better in the short term but it will not bring you true happiness.”

The young man thought about this for a moment and then asked, “But what if I don’t seek revenge? Won’t people think that I am weak?”

The wise old man replied, “True strength comes from within. It takes more courage to forgive than it does to seek revenge. If you can find it in your heart to forgive those who have wronged you, you will find true happiness.”

The young man thought about this for a moment and then thanked the wise old man for his advice. He left the village feeling much better than he had before.

Mac’s Moral of the Story …

Is it revenge you seek, or is it really justice? The two are very different things.

Not everything done to us is forgivable, and forgiveness is a personal choice, however; the key is to learn to let it go. To find peace in your heart, and mind.

Now this often, can be a surmountable task, but whilst one holds onto the need to punish another, takes up great energy, much time, and focus - and blackens the mind with ill thoughts.
Like consuming poison everyday, whilst hoping the other individual suffers.

When we have been done wrong by others, acknowledging our emotions, understanding why we feel the way we do, and releasing the hurt that is the true emotion underneath, is what will set you free, and allow you to move forward in peace.

Remember, Karma deals with any untoward in its own way, set yourself free, and allow karma to do its job.
No one gets away with doing wrong unto others, intentional or not, karma makes sure there is a lesson to be learned.
More often than not, karma’s deliverance is much more of a ‘mastermind teaching’ than you could ever dream up, anyhow.

Leave ‘retribution’ to the expert, and let it go, and live a life of peace.
Justice is not often seen, but it is so always, most certainly delivered.

Happy Easter Sunday 🐣🐰

27/03/2024

It’s good to self-reflect after a relationship, it allows us to see what we want to improve upon in ourselves, as well as how differently we want to move forward next time. However, it is not okay to beret ourselves, and become the self-reflecting enemy. It is a time for self-forgiveness, and new ways put in place.

26/03/2024

There is a lot of information out there on attachment, and we have to be careful not to fall down the attachment trap theory ‘hole’. One relationship does not dictate your true attachment style. For example, if you are met with toxic behaviours, you are not going to feel safe to have a secure attachment. However, if both partners are healthy, have the skills needed within a union, communication is open, and honest, then security takes place. This is why it is so important to work on yourself, and each individual is responsible for their own inner healing.

20/03/2024

Their actions give you the conclusion. Take the focus back on to your healing. We are not meant to understand everything. Once you understand narcissistic behaviours, and their patterns, you will realise it was never anything about you at all.

18/03/2024

It is more often than not, NOT what they feel about you, but what they feel about themselves, the toxic behaviours they exercise out, and the lack of relational skills they have.

This is why many clients internalise that they are unworthy - it is their behaviours, their toxicity, their unhealed parts playing out, NOT a reflection of you!

Remember next time you say to yourself, ‘they can’t love me if they do that’ - it’s all about them and really nothing about you at all!

It was never about you.

15/03/2024

Boundaries are so important - they are one of the main keys to healthy relations.

14/03/2024

A wee bit of humour on this Thursday … 🤣🤣

14/03/2024

As a Therapist, & Coach, who specialises in TRAUMA, I can lead you through your healing journey, in releasing your past, and empowering yourself for the future.

8 week programme “It’s all about the Self - Attracting Healthy Love”

Trauma does not have to be a life sentence!

12/03/2024

Why do victims of narcissistic abuse stay? Why don’t you just leave!?

This is probably the most undermining question you can ever ask a victim of narcissistic, or toxic abuse. In reality, many victims do not know the answer, or are still trying to work out everything in their mind.

There is a psychological process that takes place during the ‘situationship’ labelled in the medical journal as ‘cognitive dissonance’, and ‘intermittent reinforcement’, that is exercised out by the toxic person that almost ‘glues’ the victim to them - often described as addictive as he**in.

Victims usually stay for many reasons, but the main reason is because they are ‘trauma bonded’ which is not a process that just happens overnight, but is psychologically played out over a period of time.
Unless you have been trauma bonded, within a relationship, it is difficult to understand this whole process, but what is important, is to know the steps that lead to trauma bonding, so that this cycle cannot take place, or continue.

MNT describes a trauma bond as a ‘connection between an abusive person and the individual they abuse.’ It typically occurs when the abused person begins to develop sympathy, or affection for the abuser.

This bond can develop over days, weeks, or months. Not everyone who experiences abuse develops a trauma bond.

Stockholm syndrome is a specific type of trauma bond. While this term typically refers to someone who is captive developing positive feelings for their captors, this dynamic can occur in other situations and relationships.

2018 research investigating abuse in athletics, suggests that Stockholm syndrome may begin, when a person experiencing abuse begins to rationalize the actions of the perpetrator.