My Spouse Has Dementia

14/09/2024

New Episode: "Summer Solstice - A Ritual Inspired by My Dying Husband"

Whatever spiritual path we follow, whether we follow any path, we're far more alike than different. We all understand the importance of hard work and the value of sacrifice. We know how good it can feel to finally lay a burden down. We know how...

Whatever spiritual path we follow, whether we follow any path, we're far more alike than different. We all understand the importance of hard work and the value of s…

02/11/2023

Mary Lou Falcone became a caregiver at the age of 10 when her dad had a massive stroke. The experience served her well when, decades later, her husband was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia (LBD). Mary Lou has written an award-winning, unflinching memoir about her life and, in particular, her experience caring for her husband, the illustrator and 1950s rocker, Nicky Zann.

Mary Lou Falcone became a caregiver when he father had a massive stroke. She was 10 years old. The experience prepared her for the day, many years later, whe...

03/10/2023

New Episode! "Illusive Dreams and Frustrating Dementia Care Ads"

Sometimes, the dreams we carry inspire us. Then life changes, especially if your spouse has dementia. Now, those same dreams weigh us down… and we have to let go. Advertisements for some memory care facilities and some dementia service agencies...

Sometimes, the dreams we carry inspire us. Then life changes, especially if your spouse has dementia. Now, those same dreams weigh us down… and we have t…

14/08/2023

"My Caregiver Friend Died First"

This is a cautionary tale about a dear friend, a family caregiver who died first. She was in her mid-70s, a few weeks younger than I am. In mid-April, she had a stroke. She died mid-July, just as I faced the one-year milestone of my husband's death...

This is a cautionary tale about a dear friend, a family caregiver who died first. She was in her mid-70s, a few weeks younger than I am. In mid-April, sh…

16/06/2023

New Episode! "Why Join a Support Group? To Survive!"

A free, bi-weekly podcast that uses personal stories, occasional interviews, and simple rituals to support dementia caregiving spouses

06/03/2023

New Episode! "My First Holiday Season Alone"

My husband died last summer. He had Alzheimer's. I’ve experienced a lot of “firsts” without him: his birthday, my birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and most recently, Valentine’s Day. Some of those days passed without...

My husband died last summer. He had Alzheimer's. I’ve experienced a lot of “firsts” without him: his birthday, my birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Chri…

06/01/2023

Something shifted for me last month. I can't explain it yet but I feel different, like I'm slowly emerging from a cocoon. Yesterday, I found an anniversary card Dick had given me years ago. The sentiment toasted our lives and our love for each other. The words were simple and strong. I burst into tears...and then I couldn't stop smiling. Gratitude has overtaken sorrow.

My friend Marsha Browne took this photo of Dick and me in 2013. So much has changed since then. What hasn't changed is the love we shared. It has just taken a different form.

Wherever you are on the caregiving journey, I hope that 2023 brings you comfort, strength, and support. You're on a noble journey. As my friend and retired hospice chaplain Victoria Burdick told me, "Between now and dead, you've got a purpose. Don't be timid."

21/12/2022

New Episode! "Light a Solstice Candle"

Not feeling festive? No surprise. For those of us caring for a spouse with Alzheimer's or other form of dementia, December can be a cruel month. While much of the world is joyful. We're sad. It's part of the journey we're on. Today is the Winter...

Not feeling festive? No surprise. For those of us caring for a spouse with Alzheimer's or other form of dementia, December can be a cruel month. While mu…

05/12/2022

Hope, like optimism, can build resilience or distort reality. In episode 12 of My Spouse Has Dementia I share my emotional journey from feeling lost to feeling angry, from feeling cynical to feeling hopeful, from defiance to acceptance. If you know someone who is caring for loved one with dementia, please tell them about the podcast. It's totally free. You don't need a fancy phone. You can listen on the website: MySpouseHasDementia.com.

Are you caring for a spouse with Alzheimer's? You need to know that hope, like optimism, can strengthen your resilience or distort your reality. Hope ca…

04/12/2022

New Episode! "Alzheimer's and Hope - A Gift or A Curse?"

Are you caring for a spouse with Alzheimer's? You need to know that hope, like optimism, can strengthen your resilience or distort your reality. Hope can also be the key to your surivival. My husband died four months ago. In caring for...

Are you caring for a spouse with Alzheimer's? You need to know that hope, like optimism, can strengthen your resilience or distort your reality. Hope ca…

01/12/2022

5 Star Review: "AMAZING: Thank you SO much for sharing your experience. I am knee deep in this. I just sent this link to my husband’s kids & my support group coordinator. Grateful bey…" via

AMAZING: Thank you SO much for sharing your experience. I am knee deep in this. I just sent this link to my husband’s kids & my support group coordinator. Grateful beyond words to you.

04/11/2022

In 2014, I started keeping a notebook to help me monitor Dick's symptoms. In September of that year, he had an appointment with a gerontologist at a university medical center. I remember my heart racing as we pulled into the parking garage, pounding as we sat down with the doctor. I watched and listened as he gave Dick several challenges. Draw a box. Draw a clock. Repeat a short string of simple words. Dick tried. The gerontologist agreed with our family doctor. Dick was showing early signs of dementia. I contrast that news with how I remember Dick at that time. Here's a photo taken about that time, maybe a bit earlier. Physically, he was strong. He was engaged with life! Look how happy he looks to be helping our grandson set up a tent.

22/10/2022

For my fellow family dementia caregivers: "The Power of Grief, Community, and a Tree"

When tragedy reshapes your life, having a supportive community is key to your survival. Since my husband died of Alzheimer's three months ago, I've been in a cave of sorts, rarely leaving the house. My neighbors drew me back into the world of the...

When tragedy reshapes your life, having a supportive community is key to your survival. Since my husband died of Alzheimer's three months ago, I've been …

17/10/2022

When tragedy reshapes your life, having a supportive community is key to your survival. My husband died three months ago. I've been in a cave of sorts, rarely leaving the house. My neighbors drew me back into the world of the living. They planted this tree in Dick's memory. I'll talk about the tree and the whole experience in the next episode of the podcast. I plan to record it today.

In the meantime, thanks for sticking with me. My wish is that you, too, have a community as compassionate and generous as mine.

27/08/2022

New Episode-- "Death and the Funeral"

From the time my husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease, my goal was to care for him at home. He died last month, at home, in my arms. This episode shares deeply personal details about the changes in our relationship, the loss of physical...

From the time my husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease, my goal was to care for him at home. He died last month, at home, in my arms. This episo…

01/08/2022

I've finally published a new episode: "Hospice - Help When the End is Near"

My husband died at home on July 19. From steady decline to dramatic drop to sudden nosedive, to death -- that was the pattern. I was prepared for some steps. Others blindsided me. Hospice helped both my husband and me in ways I didn't expect.

My husband died at home on July 19. From steady decline to dramatic drop to sudden nosedive, to death -- that was the pattern. I was prepared for some st…

29/06/2022

Our journey continues in this episode: "Sudden Falls and Rapid Changes"

Alzheimer's degrades a person slowly over a period of years. When a downturn comes, symptoms can escalate suddenly. As a dementia family caregiver, you need to know what that downturn could look like. Knowing can help you survive.

Alzheimer's degrades a person slowly over a period of years. When a downturn comes, symptoms can escalate suddenly. As a dementia family caregiver, you n…

19/06/2022

I had a lot to learn. That's what I talk about in this episode: "Mistakes and Dementia Self-Care Rituals"

Studies show that how the dementia family caregiver interprets her stress is key to her survival. I'm sharing 3 rituals I created that have helped me. I also share 3 mistakes I made in the early years of caring for my husband. He has...

Studies show that how the dementia family caregiver interprets her stress is key to her survival. I'm sharing 3 rituals I created that have helped me. …