06/06/2023
PRISONER OF DEPRESSION
I smile though deep inside i'm bleeding in pain.
I laugh though billions of knives stab me repeatedly.
I can't do nothing but to hide it away.
I'm free yet cuffs are in my hands.
When I'm at home, I become a prisoner.
A prisoner not by crime but a prisoner by depression.
Caged and sealed by the monstrous darkness which devours me alive.
I'm completely complete yet I'm broke and depress inside.
Mentally, emotionally, and physically I wanna give up.
What's the point? What's the point of living when you already feel you're dying?
I want to escape but no matter what I do, depression follows and proclaims itself as my inseparable twin whom I don't want.
I want to be depress free, but how?
I wanna end it, I really do.
The process is tough but I need to be tougher.
Depression is a strong enemy yet I need to be stronger.
But, how can I be strong if my source of strength is also my source of depression?
Their high expectations drive me insane.
Their trust issues against me caused me more troubles of being myself.
Their doubts.
Everything! They have me and I can't let go even if I want to.
My friends? My old and new friends. I don't think they like me.
Black sheep as how I see myself.
This picture I have? This character I possess? It's not me.
I really feel alone, alone somewhere dark and cold where depression could have its perfect timing taming me until I do it.
Do the thing which I really think that would end it.
But I just can't. Please do save me and don't wait 'til I'm place six feet on the ground.
It's how hard depression feels like.
