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09/03/2023

NI NINI UMALIZA PESA YAKO
1.SMOKIE
2.MAYAI
3.MUTURA
4.CREDO
5.SABUSA
6.WANAWAKE
7.POMBE
WACHA TUONE🤣🤣

29/01/2023

Imagine a sleepover with

20/01/2023

⊘ 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 post 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘬 𝘡𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘳𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘨

19/01/2023

Ilikua siku ya jumamosi,siku na ambayo wanafunzi wa kutwa(dayscholars) k**a mimi hawakuwa wanaenda shule.
Mipango ya siku hiyo kulingana na mvyele wangu ulikua nichote maji,kubeba manure maarufu k**a "vuu" Kisha baadaye nijipe shughuli zangu kwenda zoezi kucheza kandanda.Mtu akisikia nikitaja kandanda atafikiria mimi ni Christiano Ronaldo lakini wapi,nimezembea Cha ukweli mimi na soka ni k**a mafuta taa kwenye maji.
"Hi dear"ulikua ujumbe wa kutoka kwa "main switch".Baada ya kujibu aliniarifu"mum anaenda chama saa 3:00 jioni so unaweza kuja,I miss you dear"
Nikiwa mwanafunzi wa kidato Cha 3 damu ilikua ya kutamani mapenzi kwani nayo 'adolesence stage' ilikua yanisumbua,nikala sikio la yamini na kujiambia kimoyomoyo;Leo ni Ile siku ya ndovu kumla mwanawe.
Saa 2:00 kasoro dakika 15 hivi,shughuli zangu zilikua chache nyumbani na bila shaka nikaanza kupiga milundi guu mosi guu wili kwenda kwa rafiki yangu kasee anipee 'security' katika shughuli yangu ya "my first date".Nikamweleza mpango wangu Kisha sisi hao kwa baiskeli,kwa kuwa mimi sikuwa mweledi wa kuendesha Byc,ilibidi anibebe.Mtu asishangae kusikia sijui kuendesha baiskeli juu hiyo si dhambi na pia hiyo si qualification ya kwenda mbinguni.
Hayawi hayawi Huwa,sisi hao karibu na kwa main switch;Karembo kameumbika Jo,meno meupe pepepe sijui nitaje theluji,kiuno Cha nyingu na rangi yake ya mandazi ya pipeline,sijataja style yake ya kutembea,shingo nayo imesimama vizuri ikibeba kichwa chake vizuuuri,miguu si milingoti ni kimo ata wewe utatamani.Kwa kifupi,Carol alikua ameubwa akaumbika.
"Beb nishafika"
"Nakuona kuja mum ashaenda"akajibu haraka.
Baaaaaasi,nilipea kasee 50 bob akapige maeaundi na Baiskeli yake Kisha anikujie mida ya saa 5:30 wakati na ambapo mama Carol alikua anatarajiwa kurudi.
Nilinyatua nyatunyatu kuelekea kwa lango kuu kwa Carol wangu.kuguza gate mbwa zikatoka unyo kuangalia nani huyo,Kisha sauti ikaita, ''simba!Simba!Simba!"kukatuliaa.
Mbele yangu alikua mama Carol!!
I fainted!!!

MKO SURE HUYU MWANAFUNZI WA KMTC ANATAKA KUNUNUA HII LORRY??
16/01/2023

MKO SURE HUYU MWANAFUNZI WA KMTC ANATAKA KUNUNUA HII LORRY??

08/12/2022

"Mimi nikiwa shule nilikuwa na beba simu yangu, time nataka kupiga nlikuwa naenda hadi kwa corridor ya staffroom natoa simu na nina piga bila uoga, hata mwalimu yeyote angenipata alikuwa anadhani ni simu ya mwalimu nimeomba 😂si mimi ni shujaa 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

29/11/2022

Today I asked my wife for a 1,200 to go and
drink. Truly speaking I'm that one guy who
doesn't like bathing.
So my wife said she will give me that 1,200 but
on one condition, She said go and bath I have
already put some warm water in the bathtub.
I went there and take some Vaseline Lotion ,I
didn't bath and then rush back to where she
was sitting with our kids.
I said I'm done bathing may you please give
me the money so that I can go and drink?
To my surprise they all started laughing at me
and one of my kids said: "Lol Dad you didn't
bath because the money is just under the
soap"
I just left and went straight to bed. I'm still
sleeping now because I can't face them.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

29/11/2022

Sitawahi sahau😂😂😂😂

Kuna day fulani hapo tukiwa primary
tulichinja kuku na tukapika chapo jioni. Sasa next day yake ikawa Ni lazima ningebeba lunch nikienda chuo h
alafu lunchbox ilikua kasuku ya kimbo
simnajua tu hizo siku kupata chapo ama
nyama ya kuku ilikua balaa.
Nakumbuka hadi chopi wa daro Opiyo
alinifanyiaga assigment ndio nimsort ikifika lunch naye prefect Maina
akanitoa kwa list ya noise makers. Madem wote WA daro walikua wangu siku hio mpaka Ann akadai nikue chali yake.
Sa vile ilifika lunch time kila mtu nilimpromise alikuja huku nami maringo kibao. Kufunua kasuku yangu nikafaint. kumbe nilibeba Mafuta ya kupika kimakosa nikaacha lunch home
😂😂😂😂

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