31/12/2021
2021 was SH*T
That was my initial thought when I tweeted this tweet last 15Dec21 when Twitch sent their yearly review for 2021.
"2021 was so damaging for my stream dreams "
According to that review, I only streamed 200+ hours and didn't gain much growth and whatnot. So I tweeted this since being a streamer is something important to me, despite it not being on top of my list. I don't even want to look at my youtube yearly review lol.
It sucks not having time to do the things I was thriving on last year. Last year was an amazing year for my content creation, I was averaging a big number of viewers, had a thriving community, consistent income, and gained so many friends. (Although my Ascendant on square with my Pluto, I have this internal struggle of being seen and being private lol astrology tingzzz)
With that thought in mind, I was so fast to see all the bad things that happened to my 2021. I wasted time with a person that drained and destroyed a lot of the things I was building, I lost the job that always felt like a dream, my wings were clipped and I was forced from flying everywhere as a Flight Attendant to a regular corporate job..all the bad things just came flowing through my thoughts.
Then I woke up earlier today with a notification on my phone from Selfpause - an app that sends me affirmations that I can meditate on every day
I gratefully receive the lessons that each experience brings.
Then I realized, was 2021 really sh*t?
I looked back at my situation last 2020 vs 2021 then I started listing down the things I am grateful for this 2021.
A bigger Home
A new career
My own home studio
Recovered savings
I am legit certified in new skills (ASTROLOJILL, Tarot Master, Astrology, Website building wooo!) and JUST NOW enrolled to HarvardX for more courses
I moved on from toxic relationships
Better relationship with my loved ones
Better relationship with myself - I hate myself a lil less this year
A new relationship (??-manifesting lol)
Opening a path to a new journey on another side of the world (??-also manifesting haha)
I listed down the things I am most grateful for and I realized, I am blessed, I grew. My streaming may be put on hold, but damn, I don't think I grew this much compared to my recent, previous years.
I may have lost my flying job, but I got a job that let me work from home and has given me so much professional growth - I honestly believe if I ended up in another company, I wouldn't get the same growth I am getting. Now I am paying it forward and I am training and getting more people to the same line of work with the purpose of helping them get out of their rut, the exact same situation I was in before. Then maybe, they can experience the same growth and comfort I achieved.
My mother and I used to live in a tiny apartment, now we're living in a 4 bedroom penthouse unit in a very comfortable, safe, gated community. Such a stark contrast to our living conditions before. I am seeing her smile more, she finally has more space for her knick-knacks & plants and I have more space to have my own aerial studio. Plus, my dogs are so happy with all the space to run around. Apart from that, being in Manila gave me more time to spend with my Father's side of the family, spend holidays together..things I was unable to do when I was still flying.
Working from home gave me more time to concentrate on my personal growth and spend more time with my loved ones. (including my pets) It was nice staying at home and being close to them instead of flying everywhere. It was great waking up just 5 minutes before my sign-in instead of 3hrs like before. It was awesome to have all this time at home to concentrate on my internal growth. I am taking up new hobbies, getting certified, creating new ventures, nurturing my current relationships, learning how to bake savory food, learning how to build this website, learning how to read tarot and natal charts..things I was unable to do while I was flying around because I was simply too busy concentrating on other things aside from myself.
So looking back, I did have time, but I rearranged my priorities. Streaming, content creation, and being an FA was all about giving and giving..but I realized that I went empty and dry. That's the reason why I rerouted..and I was unaware of it until now.
This year 2021 was all about fixing my internal issues, filling my cup again. Maybe 2022 is finally the year I am getting the external growth I have been craving for. My cup is finally full and I can pour out of it now. All this positive karmic energy flowing through that even everything I say with my mouth, everything I manifest so hard for, it seems to come true. (the fact I won the biggest office raffle paired with other great prizes is the epitome of that lol)
My visa is coming next week, looks like Jill is going global!
Well, my visa isn't here yet but I am manifesting so hard! lol
How was your 2021?
https://www.jactheripper.me/post/2021-was-sh-t