15/09/2021
When you think about the various possibilities of your life and different paths you could take, you can’t help but wonder, “what if?” What if you decided to leave that career and travel the world instead? What if you decided to break an unhealthy relationship with your best friend? What if you decided to go on that date with that person who caught your eye? What if you decided to end it all?
Nora Seed is a young woman who is struggling – mentally and emotionally. She has come to the unfortunate conclusion that there is only one way out of her strife – to commit su***de. There are just too many negatives she must deal with, and she is unable to see any possible solution.
The opening quote by Sylvia Plath (a woman who also took her own life) provides an idea into how Nora’s mind transforms throughout, but also to the theme of the novel:
“I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in my life.”
We meet Nora Seed 27 hours before she decided to die. Her cat has died (to which she is envious), she has been fired from a job she’s held for almost 12 years, and she learns that her brother came to town recently without visiting her. She described herself as a “a black hole. A dying star collapsing in on itself” (13).
The depression takes her down a literal black hole and she lost all hope – she felt there was no purpose left and no reason to keep on living. Her existence is worth nothing, her decisions have all failed, and now it is her time to die. “I had all the chances to make something of my life, and I blew every one of them. Through my own carelessness and misfortune, the world has retreated from me, and so now it makes perfect sense that I should retreat from the world. If I felt it was possible to stay, I would. But I don’t. And so I can’t. I make life worse for people. I have nothing to give” (23).
So many of us have felt this feeling of utter hopelessness; that feeling that you have tried and failed, to no avail. This is one of the reasons that Nora’s story is so compelling, yet understandable and relatable. You can empathize with her agony and cheer her on from the sidelines, to make the right choice in the end.
When Nora makes the decision to end her life, the reader is taken on a spiritual journey with Nora, through all the potential lives she could have lived; all of which will inspire her to understand the true meaning of her life.
I was thoroughly impressed with the idea behind this book – to imagine what life could be like if you had made different decisions is exciting – the possibilities are literally endless. I also appreciated the emphasis on mental health and how life is about living with the choices we have made and not worrying about regrets. These discussions need to be had to understand that mental health is just as important as physical health.
I can’t help but wonder why a male author chose to write from the perspective of a female; how could he capture the way that a woman might handle the situation or how she might feel? Why didn’t he choose a male character instead?
I didn’t absolutely LOVE it as much as I thought I would, but it was definitely worth my time, so it will be worth yours. I highly recommend reading this novel if you are struggling with depression, mental health, or thoughts of being unworthy, as I believe it will offer a ray of hope. Especially if you believe in the beauty of second chances.
Rating: 4/5
Want to read my full summary and final review? Be sure to check out my new blog post, found here: https://bribeebrown.com/the-midnight-library-by-matt-haig/
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