Going Terribly

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Going Terribly Your favorite punning linguists, Alice and Doug, talk about dumb stuff. And some smart stuff too. And not all of it is butt stuff. We promise. Mistaken identities.
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Available wherever you listen to podcasts. Why is it called Going Terribly? Well, you see, when Alice and Doug get together, it’s always a beautiful disaster. Foodie shenanigans. Crossed wires. Sexy double entendres. You get the picture. And “going” is a euphemism for urination – well wait, urination doesn’t need a euphemism since it’s the technical term. But we can’t say pi***ng, right? Because i

t’s p***c for all to see. But ALSO: Doug doesn’t curse – yeah did you know Doug doesn’t curse? I didn’t until we started this podcast and holy crap there’s a typo but it’s kinda funny so maybe I’ll keep it because the long Facebook bio can be 10,000 characters max. That’s a f**kton of characters – oh s**t I just said f**kton – wait, is this Alice right now? Or Doug? They’re like the same person. Two pees in a poodcast. BOOM. Nailed it.

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤This Sunday is Alice's birthday! With Alice hitting the big 4-0, Doug digs up a bunch of stuf...
05/11/2024

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤

This Sunday is Alice's birthday! With Alice hitting the big 4-0, Doug digs up a bunch of stuff from Alice's birth year that might make her and Steve Guttenberg feel a little old. Like Who's the Boss and Depends. Doug presents a couple of games and even tries his hand at Alice's most popular segment.

EPISODE 214: TWO THROWN AWAY VOTES IN AN UNNECESSARY BOOK REPORT

Other discussion topics may include:
- The disappointment that spinal taps aren't as serious or dangerous as they sound
- Purse Suer vs. Purse Sewer - which is the worse pun?
- The 1984 hit Seinfeld movie
- It Takes Two: Electric Boogaloo
- Lots and lots of quantum stuff. Or not. Better grab a pocket calculator just in case.

Don't forget to wish Alice a happy birthday sometime this week! And the second best gift you can get her this year is listening to Going terribly at any of the links below or wherever you listen to podcasts!

The best gift you could give her is a gift.

🍎https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/going-terribly/id1531827350
🐶https://open.spotify.com/show/1bm2PuIKafoXHuuOJSTqIy
🎣https://castbox.fm/channel/id3326895?country=us

Caught red-panda-ed 🐾 at  and 's graveyard smash! 👨🏻‍🔬🧟‍♀️ Our zookeeper  helped us stay in character by throwing popcor...
05/11/2024

Caught red-panda-ed 🐾 at and 's graveyard smash! 👨🏻‍🔬🧟‍♀️ Our zookeeper helped us stay in character by throwing popcorn on the floor for us to eat 🎍

Congrats to the crypt-kicking couple! 🧡🖤🧡🖤



Photos by 🐦‍⬛

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤Happy Halloween!Alice and Doug invite Kevin Roach to the show for his annual Halloween episod...
29/10/2024

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤

Happy Halloween!

Alice and Doug invite Kevin Roach to the show for his annual Halloween episode. This year they debate which horror movie villains they'd bed (spoiler: The Predator has some sexy abs) and recite a brand new scary story. They also discuss the merits of a travel bidet (or two!) and wonder if Pat Morita could have convincingly played a small town sheriff.

EPISODE 213: THREE TAPEWORM GHOSTS IN A SPOOPY S*X CRUISE STORY

Other discussion topics may include:
- The dark side of Dr. Seuss
- Auntie Lee's Meat Pies
- When on a vibrating boat, are you more likely to p**p yourself, or**sm, or gently fall asleep?
- That time Hi**er unwittingly left some DNA in a sausage mixer
- Honestly, more routine cannibalism talk than should be comfortable

Find all the games, theater, and other Halloween sp**piness at any of the links below or wherever you listen to podcasts.

🍎https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/going-terribly/id1531827350
🐶https://open.spotify.com/show/1bm2PuIKafoXHuuOJSTqIy
🎣https://castbox.fm/channel/id3326895?country=us

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤This week Alice leaves her scheduled colonoscopy up to a Facebook vote while Doug scours app ...
22/10/2024

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤

This week Alice leaves her scheduled colonoscopy up to a Facebook vote while Doug scours app stores for strange Fitbit alternatives. This is adulting in 2024.

EPISODE 212: TWO FEUDING HOLLYWOOD SISTERS IN A BUTT UPDATE

Other discussion topics may include:
- Why isn't there a play or musical based on the 1987 cinematic classic Mannequin?
- Maybe a little too much Enrique
- Are you wealthy enough to afford cameras in your medication?
- All the things about Ernest Hemingway that rose...and didn't.
- It's Mrs. Shen's birthday!!!

There are no colonoscopy videos to share on social media yet. But we're looking into it. In the meantime, you can listen to every episode of Going Terribly at any of the links below or wherever you listen to podcasts.

🍎https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/going-terribly/id1531827350
🐶https://open.spotify.com/show/1bm2PuIKafoXHuuOJSTqIy
🎣https://castbox.fm/channel/id3326895?country=us

Celebrated Norm Macdonald's (and 's) birthdays yesterday, October 17, by wearing a hat and going to Denny's and watching...
18/10/2024

Celebrated Norm Macdonald's (and 's) birthdays yesterday, October 17, by wearing a hat and going to Denny's and watching Norm's seminal classic, Dirty Work (Alice for the first time)!

The day's genesis is a reference to the 2006 Carson Daly interview where Norm said, "Man, this is the greatest gig in the world, being alive. You get to eat at Denny's, wear a hat, whatever you wanna do."

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤Alice has a colonoscopy coming up. Somehow this isn't the first topic she and Doug discuss. B...
15/10/2024

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤

Alice has a colonoscopy coming up. Somehow this isn't the first topic she and Doug discuss. But once they get on her butt, boy, does it prove difficult to get off.

EPISODE 211: TWO SPUDGES™ IN A REQUIEM FOR A REAM

Other discussion topics may include:
- Completely unrelated Tummy Trouble
- Turkey Testicle Festical
- Would you trust a biology teacher/realtor to perform routine surgeries in your home?
- Attempting to hold friends hostage using really comfortable furniture
- Steroids might get a bad rep, but goodness, do they make your face skin lovely

It's also National Grouch Day. So listen or don't. It's whatever. Ya jag.

But either way, celebrate Wear a Hat to Denny's Day this Thursday, October 17th, in honor of the late great Norm MacDonald. Listen or reach out for more details.

🍎https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/going-terribly/id1531827350
🐶https://open.spotify.com/show/1bm2PuIKafoXHuuOJSTqIy
🎣https://castbox.fm/channel/id3326895?country=us

How terribly like us to get the keys to our new home and promptly get locked out? Our realtor Brandon Buck got the brill...
14/10/2024

How terribly like us to get the keys to our new home and promptly get locked out? Our realtor Brandon Buck got the brilliant idea of zooming in on one of the photos we took (not pictured), which showed the garage code on a small manila folder!

We're really enjoying having a dishwasher and parking in a garage, and who knew we'd love low ceilings that contain cool/heat (sorry tall friends). suits us 😸

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤Could you imagine if today were Julia Roberts's birthday?! It's not, but could you just IMAGI...
08/10/2024

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤

Could you imagine if today were Julia Roberts's birthday?! It's not, but could you just IMAGINE?!?!

Elsewhere in this week's episode, Doug and Alice just got back from St. Louis (and TO the future!), and now they're ready to find some fowl balls or other unusual body parts to devour at the West Side Nut (heh) Club Fall Festival.

Ep. 210: TWO DISAPPOINTING ELEPHANT EARS IN AN UNEXPECTED STREET FESTIVAL

Other discussion topics may include:
- Keep ketchup off your hot dogs
- What do you do once you've tried every flavor of every brand of sparkling water? Is it just over now?
- Near universal praise for Costco...except for a troubling recent move in their chicken packaging
- Jame Doody Dench
- Revisiting the time certain adult toys may have been lost in a matter of national security

Click on one of the links below to find out why, pound for pound, we're one of the strongest podcasts around.*

🍎https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/going-terribly/id1531827350
🐶https://open.spotify.com/show/1bm2PuIKafoXHuuOJSTqIy
🎣https://castbox.fm/channel/id3326895?country=us



*whatever that means

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤September's over, so wake up and join Doug and Alice as they consider alternate Barry Manilow...
01/10/2024

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤

September's over, so wake up and join Doug and Alice as they consider alternate Barry Manilow fandom names, question their new home's bathroom setup, and, most importantly, celebrate a special 100th birthday. Plus why does the international market have so many cooler RC products than we do?

EPISODE 209: TWO B***Y SHOTS IN A CASE OF LIGHT TAIWANESE INSURANCE FRAUD

Other discussion topics may include:
- A nostalgic start to a life long love affair with cheese curds
- Dropping your drawers in a grocery store
- Supper bullying
- The Sound of Music vs. West Side Story - How's your classic movie trivia?
- Relentlessly trying to get noticed by well endowed people

Join us at any of the links below or wherever you listen to podcasts.

🍎https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/going-terribly/id1531827350
🐶https://open.spotify.com/show/1bm2PuIKafoXHuuOJSTqIy
🎣https://castbox.fm/channel/id3326895?country=us

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤Doug and Alice have been doing a lot of burying of ledes lately, and it's time for all the ne...
24/09/2024

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤

Doug and Alice have been doing a lot of burying of ledes lately, and it's time for all the news to finally come out. Major life changes have occurred. Are they shrouded in murder or in tradition? There's only one way to find out.*

EPISODE 208: TWO HoMEOWners IN A TRIP DOWN A RABID HOLE

Other discussion topics may include:
- Life is a lot more bearable when you picture all your finances in board game money
- A celebration of Eckerty, Indiana, if it does indeed exist
- Your garage and bathroom don't need TVs, but wouldn't it be cool?
- How to rid your own cabbage patch of those darn babies
- Pleasantville, Stepford, or Get Out - what's your ideal neighborhood?

Help us celebrate some big news, along with the birthday of an entrepreneur/chocolatier/galaxy discoverer(?), by clicking on any of the links below or finding us wherever you listen to podcasts.

🍎https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/going-terribly/id1531827350
🐶https://open.spotify.com/show/1bm2PuIKafoXHuuOJSTqIy
🎣https://castbox.fm/channel/id3326895?country=us



*Okay, we suppose a second way could be to watch for arrest reports, but you're slightly more likely to get some bathroom talk here.

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤Alice teaches us about the differences between Chinese language and symbols, as well as diffe...
17/09/2024

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤

Alice teaches us about the differences between Chinese language and symbols, as well as differences in sign languages between countries, including accents! Meanwhile, Doug makes a joke about Mario's p***s.

EPISODE 207: TWO CREEPY, YET KINDA ROMANTIC PICKUP LINES IN A 9-STOOL ROOT BEER STAND

Other discussion topics may include:
- A literally childish alien obsession
- Is there anyone who uses a letter as a first name who isn't successful?
- A computer literally tries to take over the episode (it's happening)
- How smarmy are you allowed to be when narrating a corny joke book?
- Happy birthday to the U.S. Constitution...for better or worse.

Celebrate a great day with America in the most patriotic way imaginable. By listening to Going Terribly at any of the links below or wherever you find your podcasts.

🍎https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/going-terribly/id1531827350
🐶https://open.spotify.com/show/1bm2PuIKafoXHuuOJSTqIy
🎣https://castbox.fm/channel/id3326895?country=us

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤It's a Great Day with Doug, even if by force. Enjoy a trio of film directors' birthdays, some...
10/09/2024

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤

It's a Great Day with Doug, even if by force. Enjoy a trio of film directors' birthdays, some great news regarding Alice's band, and Doug gushing about his favorite musician. And even Barry Manilow.

EPISODE 206: TWO THICK ASS THIEVES IN A HOLLOW MASTERPIECE

Other discussion topics may include:
- The Sound of Music meets West Side Story in a battle to the death
- Try to name a non-sweet food that wouldn't be great on mashed potatoes. You can't.
- Should Quentin Tarantino write a musical?
- The phrase "milk ejection time" is used, so you probably want to get to the bottom of that.
- You know you've made it as a band when Rotel dip is your opening act

Celebrate National Swap Ideas Day with the anti-active watch and the punniest plays never written. Click on any of the links below or find us wherever you listen to podcasts.

🍎https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/going-terribly/id1531827350
🐶https://open.spotify.com/show/1bm2PuIKafoXHuuOJSTqIy
🎣https://castbox.fm/channel/id3326895?country=us

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤Alice has been a bonehead again. Doug almost had a tree crash down on his. It went terribly l...
03/09/2024

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤

Alice has been a bonehead again. Doug almost had a tree crash down on his. It went terribly lately, but they're still hanging in there. They just can't pronounce anything correctly. You'll see.

EPISODE 205: TWO SAN DIEGO PERIODONTISTS IN A COOL, DARK, DRY PLACE

Other discussion topics may include:

- Why Rick Moranis retired from acting
- Buttery salty fingies at the furniture store
- How to brush your teeth. Or maybe how not to. It's really up in the air.
- Storing things in your prickly ash
- One of Dr. Pepper's 23 flavors might be tomato, and that's enough to give up on the world, isn't it?

Brain machines, killer giraffes, 4 Non Blondes...this episode has it all. Or at least tiny smidgens of all. And you can hear it all at any of the links below or wherever you listen to podcasts.

🍎https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/going-terribly/id1531827350
🐶https://open.spotify.com/show/1bm2PuIKafoXHuuOJSTqIy
🎣https://castbox.fm/channel/id3326895?country=us

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤It's time to generate some random topics! Just what have Doug and Alice been breaking and los...
27/08/2024

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤

It's time to generate some random topics! Just what have Doug and Alice been breaking and losing lately? Besides hearts and farts, of course. Find out in this butt flap vibrating episode.

EPISODE 204: TWO ROADSIDE GIRAFFES IN A QUEST TO ACQUIRE LOST DIGNITY

Other discussion topics may include:
- Delivery robots who demand to be taken seriously
- Have you heard women can both own land AND vote now? Progress is being made, folks.
- Costco samples vs. outright theft
- What's something commonly do today that you think people will wonder why anyone would ever do that fifty years from now?
- The Physics of Pharts

Start your engines and form your nethers. And watch out for shatnel. It's Going Terribly.

Conveniently located at any of the links below or wherever you listen to podcasts

🍎https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/going-terribly/id1531827350
🐶https://open.spotify.com/show/1bm2PuIKafoXHuuOJSTqIy
🎣https://castbox.fm/channel/id3326895?country=us

27/08/2024

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤Alice and Doug recently returned from St. Louis. There was art, food, shopping, and, of cours...
20/08/2024

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤

Alice and Doug recently returned from St. Louis. There was art, food, shopping, and, of course, IKEA. Now they're back to tell you all about it while also touching on scrambled pancakes and the difference between anuses and rectums.

EPISODE 203: TWO SMALL HERZEGOVINAS IN A CREAM CHEESE DOWNPOUR

Other discussion topics may include:
- Stale corn nuts and the palpating innards that accompany them
- Controversial ice cream jokes
- Which is the worse kind of nursery - a plant store or a baby store?
- Bacon Medusa
- The sickest Bosnian coffee jingle you're likely to hear all day

Listen along at any of the links below or wherever you get your podcasts.

🍎https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/going-terribly/id1531827350
🐶https://open.spotify.com/show/1bm2PuIKafoXHuuOJSTqIy
🎣https://castbox.fm/channel/id3326895?country=us

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤It's time to take a trip down to New Yum City! Doug and Alice discuss recent and upcoming tas...
13/08/2024

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤

It's time to take a trip down to New Yum City! Doug and Alice discuss recent and upcoming tasty (and/or really weird) treats. Honestly, why do other countries' McDonalds and KFCs have such amazing menu items? Step it up, America!

EPISODE 202: TWO BROWN CHICKENS AND/OR COWS IN A PISTACHIO ICE CREAM LAWSUIT

Other discussion topics may include:
- Caramel, gyro, and other relationship threatening words
- Why don't we drink any animal's milk other than cows?
- Powder filled chips and candies
- School anxiety dreams
- BIRTHDAY CAKE FLAVORED THINGS ARE A HORRIBLE LIE

Also if you're in the Evansville, Indiana area, make sure you check out the StageTwo Summer Playwriting Workshop Original Works Showcase August 24th and 25th! Until then you can catch Going Terribly at any of the links below or wherever you listen to podcasts.

🍎https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/going-terribly/id1531827350
🐶https://open.spotify.com/show/1bm2PuIKafoXHuuOJSTqIy
🎣https://castbox.fm/channel/id3326895?country=us


Taking friends' IKEA virginities is one of my favorite pastimes. One of Doug's is tossing that 🥗 heyo!
12/08/2024

Taking friends' IKEA virginities is one of my favorite pastimes. One of Doug's is tossing that 🥗 heyo!

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