Going Terribly

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Going Terribly Your favorite punning linguists, Alice and Doug, talk about dumb stuff. And some smart stuff too. And not all of it is butt stuff. We promise. Mistaken identities.
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Available wherever you listen to podcasts. Why is it called Going Terribly? Well, you see, when Alice and Doug get together, it’s always a beautiful disaster. Foodie shenanigans. Crossed wires. Sexy double entendres. You get the picture. And “going” is a euphemism for urination – well wait, urination doesn’t need a euphemism since it’s the technical term. But we can’t say pi***ng, right? Because i

t’s p***c for all to see. But ALSO: Doug doesn’t curse – yeah did you know Doug doesn’t curse? I didn’t until we started this podcast and holy crap there’s a typo but it’s kinda funny so maybe I’ll keep it because the long Facebook bio can be 10,000 characters max. That’s a f**kton of characters – oh s**t I just said f**kton – wait, is this Alice right now? Or Doug? They’re like the same person. Two pees in a poodcast. BOOM. Nailed it.

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤Alice has been a bonehead again. Doug almost had a tree crash down on his. It went terribly l...
03/09/2024

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤

Alice has been a bonehead again. Doug almost had a tree crash down on his. It went terribly lately, but they're still hanging in there. They just can't pronounce anything correctly. You'll see.

EPISODE 205: TWO SAN DIEGO PERIODONTISTS IN A COOL, DARK, DRY PLACE

Other discussion topics may include:

- Why Rick Moranis retired from acting
- Buttery salty fingies at the furniture store
- How to brush your teeth. Or maybe how not to. It's really up in the air.
- Storing things in your prickly ash
- One of Dr. Pepper's 23 flavors might be tomato, and that's enough to give up on the world, isn't it?

Brain machines, killer giraffes, 4 Non Blondes...this episode has it all. Or at least tiny smidgens of all. And you can hear it all at any of the links below or wherever you listen to podcasts.

🍎https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/going-terribly/id1531827350
🐶https://open.spotify.com/show/1bm2PuIKafoXHuuOJSTqIy
🎣https://castbox.fm/channel/id3326895?country=us

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤It's time to generate some random topics! Just what have Doug and Alice been breaking and los...
27/08/2024

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤

It's time to generate some random topics! Just what have Doug and Alice been breaking and losing lately? Besides hearts and farts, of course. Find out in this butt flap vibrating episode.

EPISODE 204: TWO ROADSIDE GIRAFFES IN A QUEST TO ACQUIRE LOST DIGNITY

Other discussion topics may include:
- Delivery robots who demand to be taken seriously
- Have you heard women can both own land AND vote now? Progress is being made, folks.
- Costco samples vs. outright theft
- What's something commonly do today that you think people will wonder why anyone would ever do that fifty years from now?
- The Physics of Pharts

Start your engines and form your nethers. And watch out for shatnel. It's Going Terribly.

Conveniently located at any of the links below or wherever you listen to podcasts

🍎https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/going-terribly/id1531827350
🐶https://open.spotify.com/show/1bm2PuIKafoXHuuOJSTqIy
🎣https://castbox.fm/channel/id3326895?country=us

27/08/2024

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤Alice and Doug recently returned from St. Louis. There was art, food, shopping, and, of cours...
20/08/2024

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤

Alice and Doug recently returned from St. Louis. There was art, food, shopping, and, of course, IKEA. Now they're back to tell you all about it while also touching on scrambled pancakes and the difference between anuses and rectums.

EPISODE 203: TWO SMALL HERZEGOVINAS IN A CREAM CHEESE DOWNPOUR

Other discussion topics may include:
- Stale corn nuts and the palpating innards that accompany them
- Controversial ice cream jokes
- Which is the worse kind of nursery - a plant store or a baby store?
- Bacon Medusa
- The sickest Bosnian coffee jingle you're likely to hear all day

Listen along at any of the links below or wherever you get your podcasts.

🍎https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/going-terribly/id1531827350
🐶https://open.spotify.com/show/1bm2PuIKafoXHuuOJSTqIy
🎣https://castbox.fm/channel/id3326895?country=us

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤It's time to take a trip down to New Yum City! Doug and Alice discuss recent and upcoming tas...
13/08/2024

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤

It's time to take a trip down to New Yum City! Doug and Alice discuss recent and upcoming tasty (and/or really weird) treats. Honestly, why do other countries' McDonalds and KFCs have such amazing menu items? Step it up, America!

EPISODE 202: TWO BROWN CHICKENS AND/OR COWS IN A PISTACHIO ICE CREAM LAWSUIT

Other discussion topics may include:
- Caramel, gyro, and other relationship threatening words
- Why don't we drink any animal's milk other than cows?
- Powder filled chips and candies
- School anxiety dreams
- BIRTHDAY CAKE FLAVORED THINGS ARE A HORRIBLE LIE

Also if you're in the Evansville, Indiana area, make sure you check out the StageTwo Summer Playwriting Workshop Original Works Showcase August 24th and 25th! Until then you can catch Going Terribly at any of the links below or wherever you listen to podcasts.

🍎https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/going-terribly/id1531827350
🐶https://open.spotify.com/show/1bm2PuIKafoXHuuOJSTqIy
🎣https://castbox.fm/channel/id3326895?country=us


Taking friends' IKEA virginities is one of my favorite pastimes. One of Doug's is tossing that 🥗 heyo!
12/08/2024

Taking friends' IKEA virginities is one of my favorite pastimes. One of Doug's is tossing that 🥗 heyo!

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤Did the pied piper murder a bunch of children? Have you ever rubbed emu parts on yourself? An...
06/08/2024

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤

Did the pied piper murder a bunch of children? Have you ever rubbed emu parts on yourself? And just what *did* Daniel Radcliffe do to that horse? Find these answers and more in this highly educational episode.

EPISODE 201: TWO SPICY PHO KING COUSINS IN A FURNITURE STORE DATE NIGHT

Other discussion topics may include:
- The disappearance of Amelia Earhart and Jim Liverballs
- Sinning in the Rain
- The dichotomy of watching Olympic gold medalists while absolutely pulverizing a pizza buffet
- If you want cockroaches in your sparkling water, prepare to be disappointed
- Yes, the "Big Unit" situation is addressed

Y'all ever had baked potatoes and green beans at a pizza buffet? We have, and we're here to tell you about it. Click on any of the links below or find us wherever you listen to podcasts.

🍎https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/going-terribly/id1531827350
🐶https://open.spotify.com/show/1bm2PuIKafoXHuuOJSTqIy
🎣https://castbox.fm/channel/id3326895?country=us

It's the most wonderful time of the year.                     👀
03/08/2024

It's the most wonderful time of the year.



👀

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤Years in the making, it's the 200th episode of Going Terribly!EPISODE 200: THREE BULLETPROOOF...
30/07/2024

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤

Years in the making, it's the 200th episode of Going Terribly!

EPISODE 200: THREE BULLETPROOOF BOY SCOUTS IN A HISTORY MAKING EPISODE!

For the first time ever, Alice and Doug are joined by special guest Laura D'Alto!

The trio then spend the next hour and a half mostly discussing p**p. Listen, what else do you want?

Along the way, Laura does class it up with talk of K-pop concerts, World War II musicals, and an obvious love for her job and her family. But when left to their own devices, Alice and Doug drag it straight back to p**p.

You'll love it.

Other discussion topics may include:
- How a hot dog a day can keep the Grim Reaper away
- Shows that Going Terribly is already better than, and others that will soon be conquered
- Fluffernutters, but different
- Would a competitive eater having two stomachs be considered cheating?
- Getting ghosted by Jesus

Sing along with Poo Songs. Play along with Semi-Recent Semi-Decent News (SRSDN - not an acronym). And witness the most epic game of 20 Questions of all time. Click on any link below or find us wherever you listen to podcasts.

🍎https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/going-terribly/id1531827350
🐶https://open.spotify.com/show/1bm2PuIKafoXHuuOJSTqIy
🎣https://castbox.fm/channel/id3326895?country=us

Guess which talented, funny, witchy woman who eats misbehaving children if they trespass on her chicken-legged mobile hu...
29/07/2024

Guess which talented, funny, witchy woman who eats misbehaving children if they trespass on her chicken-legged mobile hut is joining our other talented, funny, witchy woman who eats misbehaving children if they trespass on her chicken-legged mobile hut for our 200TH EPISODE!!!!

If you know, you know 😉 🪄🍗

Tattoo designs by the versatile !

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤Want to please your man?Write him a lovely haiku,And spit on that thang.EPISODE 199: THREE TO...
23/07/2024

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤

Want to please your man?
Write him a lovely haiku,
And spit on that thang.

EPISODE 199: THREE TOMS, FRICKS, AND/OR HARRYS IN A BIG TRAIN

This week Alice and Doug welcome acclaimed poet/umpire/pirate/babe sketcher Nick "Frick" Wentzel. Games are played. Games that, someday, could just supplant baseball as America's past time. Time will tell.

Other discussion topics may include:
- What is your lick potential?
- How to be judge, jury, and executioner of small children
- Dame Judi Dench has still got it going on, and don't you let anyone tell you otherwise
- What's your favorite p**p themed cereal?
- Just what in the world did birthday boy Daniel Radcliffe do to that horse?!?

MLB Whoopsies, disputed drive-thrus, and a POTENTIAL REPLACEMENT FOR ONE OF THE HOSTS is in store at any of the links below, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

🍎https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/going-terribly/id1531827350
🐶https://open.spotify.com/show/1bm2PuIKafoXHuuOJSTqIy
🎣https://castbox.fm/channel/id3326895?country=us

  is nigh!!!! Get your saddlebags ready and make sure you have an exit plan 💩 🤠 Tom Carlton     🇺🇸            🍦         ...
20/07/2024

is nigh!!!! Get your saddlebags ready and make sure you have an exit plan 💩

🤠 Tom Carlton




🇺🇸


🍦



🍨

17/07/2024

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤Wasn't there something we were supposed to talk about this week? I can't remember...EPISODE 1...
16/07/2024

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤

Wasn't there something we were supposed to talk about this week? I can't remember...

EPISODE 198: TWO HIDDEN SEEDS IN A MUSHY ANGRY GIRL PIE

Other discussion topics may include:

- GAME OF CONES V: Indiana Cones and the Swirl of Density
- Gulf War cannibalism...technically
- Music that makes you want to go home
- Why your 4-year old is dumber than some birds
- Celebrating the emus who sacrifice their lives so you can soothe your bug bites

Okay, we all know you're here for one reason: to build up some amazing birds knowledge. SO LET'S DO THIS. Click one of the links below or find us wherever you listen to podcasts.

🍎https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/going-terribly/id1531827350
🐶https://open.spotify.com/show/1bm2PuIKafoXHuuOJSTqIy
🎣https://castbox.fm/channel/id3326895?country=us

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤There's allegedly time travel. There's supposedly quality poetry. There's definitely ball swe...
09/07/2024

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤

There's allegedly time travel. There's supposedly quality poetry. There's definitely ball sweat scented things.

But what's most important is THERE ARE STILL NO FRIGGIN BIRDS!!!

EPISODE 197: TWO CREATIVE ICE CREAM FLAVORS IN AN ELECTRIC MURDER

Other discussion topics may include:
- A celebration of crime murder game persons
- Who needs zippers when you can just sew everything shut?
- Hot take: Virginia Vietnamese food just isn't as good as Indiana Vietnamese food
- Is origami paper size too big for a quality cheese cracker?
- A taboo celebration of eating ash

🍎https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/going-terribly/id1531827350
🐶https://open.spotify.com/show/1bm2PuIKafoXHuuOJSTqIy
🎣https://castbox.fm/channel/id3326895?country=us

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤We celebrate a very special birthday today! And goats! And God. And Lake Bell, who honestly s...
02/07/2024

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤

We celebrate a very special birthday today! And goats! And God. And Lake Bell, who honestly should be the voice of God.

EPISODE 196: TWO DRIVING GIRAFFES IN A CLUELESS SPINOFF

Other discussion topics may include:
- Elusive noodles (wink)
- Music that jams, rocks, slaps, and is, most assuredly, bussin'
- Peach passes (wink wink)
- Louisiana social workers and the stars who loved them
- Sexy baby voices (...wink?)

🍎https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/going-terribly/id1531827350
🐶https://open.spotify.com/show/1bm2PuIKafoXHuuOJSTqIy
🎣https://castbox.fm/channel/id3326895?country=us

Start saving for our ALL DAY ice cream crawl in honor of   on July 21, the third Sunday of July!
01/07/2024

Start saving for our ALL DAY ice cream crawl in honor of on July 21, the third Sunday of July!


Fan mail round-up! 🍆🫨💦🚢😈Listen to the thrilling wherediditgo/whodunnit in Episode 194!
25/06/2024

Fan mail round-up! 🍆🫨💦🚢😈

Listen to the thrilling wherediditgo/whodunnit in Episode 194!


🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤Alice and Doug are gearing up for next month's annual ice cream crawl while lamenting their f...
25/06/2024

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤

Alice and Doug are gearing up for next month's annual ice cream crawl while lamenting their failure to bring other unholy food events to fruition (YET). There's also an impromptu and accidentally cruel game of 20 Questions.

EPISODE 195: TWO MAGIC JOHNSONS IN A NUDIE FILM AT THE GYM

Other discussion topics may include:
- A satisfying drip
- The unfortunate discovery that both George Michael AND George Orwell are dead
- Introducing a young child to graphic hip hop music, out of respect for the art
- It is completely okay to refuse to accept sucky homemade gifts
- Children's show characters that don't have hands up their butts

Can Alice name 5 NBA players? Will Doug come up with classy names for s*xy indie films? Does anyone know Dikembe Mutombo's full name? The answers MAY SHOCK YOU. Listen via any of the links below or by finding us wherever you listen to podcasts.

🍎https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/going-terribly/id1531827350
🐶https://open.spotify.com/show/1bm2PuIKafoXHuuOJSTqIy
🎣https://castbox.fm/channel/id3326895?country=us

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤Boy, does Alice have a tale for you. Travel, mystery, s*x, and, for whatever reason, an iPhon...
18/06/2024

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤

Boy, does Alice have a tale for you. Travel, mystery, s*x, and, for whatever reason, an iPhone 7. Everything you could want from a modern thriller. Well, except the iPhone 7.

Meanwhile, Doug can draw Barney Rubble. You'll have to take his word for it.

EPISODE 194: TWO CHEKHOV'S VI*****RS IN A TSA MYSTERY

Other discussion topics may include:
- How can you tell if you're in your own Fight Club scenario?
- Is art magic?*
- Some really clever jokes about how Mormons have multiple partners
- The compulsive need to watch Titanic anytime it's on television
- Pranks vs. Crimes, and when they can overlap

Did someone prank Alice? Did someone steal from her? Did TSA think she was a terrorist? Did she prank herself? ...Or is it all of the above?!? Click on a link below or find us wherever you listen to podcasts for all these answers!**

🍎https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/going-terribly/id1531827350
🐶https://open.spotify.com/show/1bm2PuIKafoXHuuOJSTqIy
🎣https://castbox.fm/channel/id3326895?country=us



*Yes

**Or just to hear the questions in audio form

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤Alice is still mysteriously coming atcha from afar through the radio airwaves, and Doug is th...
11/06/2024

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤

Alice is still mysteriously coming atcha from afar through the radio airwaves, and Doug is thinking of joining a pasta cult. But oh wait, maybe he already has....

EPISODE 193: TWO OLD ITALIAN GRANDMOTHERS IN A BEDSHEET FORT

Other discussion topics may include:
- Virginia adventures, featuring both re**er and bird p**p madness
- 30-year old mattresses
- Waiting for technology to catch up so society can finally enjoy singing billboards
- Chasing delicious, delicious waterfalls
- How often do you burst out wrestling in real life?

Find us at any of the links below or wherever you listen to podcasts.

While you're at it, congratulate Alice on 3 years in the audiobooking world!

🍎https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/going-terribly/id1531827350
🐶https://open.spotify.com/show/1bm2PuIKafoXHuuOJSTqIy
🎣https://castbox.fm/channel/id3326895?country=us

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤Was Maya Angelou married to Daniel Tosh? Was the Notorious B.I.G. a big Billy Idol fan? Is a ...
04/06/2024

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤

Was Maya Angelou married to Daniel Tosh? Was the Notorious B.I.G. a big Billy Idol fan? Is a kiwi just a flying kangaroo?

It really went terribly this week.

EPISODE 192: TWO CRASH TEST MOOSE IN A STUPID OPEN CASKET FUNERAL

Other discussion topics may include:
- Opossums of all sort: Epiphany, Insurrection, and, of course, Awesome
- How to (not?) use a corn cob as toilet paper
- An introduction to biblical rapper Lil' Viticus
- Crash Test Moose
- Is removing your tampon before dying the polite thing to do?

Happy birthday week to friends of the show Gennie Adams, Stephanie Osborne, and Scott Wolf!

Links below, or find us wherever you listen to podcasts.

🍎https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/going-terribly/id1531827350
🐶https://open.spotify.com/show/1bm2PuIKafoXHuuOJSTqIy
🎣https://castbox.fm/channel/id3326895?country=us

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤Naz Reid.EPISODE 191: TWO PATIENT ZEROES [SIC] IN AN EARTHQUAKE VASECTOMYOther discussion top...
28/05/2024

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤

Naz Reid.

EPISODE 191: TWO PATIENT ZEROES [SIC] IN AN EARTHQUAKE VASECTOMY

Other discussion topics may include:
- The epic (and exhausting) adventures of Sir Yawn-a-Lot
- Midnight ice cream bans
- All the incredible benefits of having your Business Insider
- Gluttonous Mermaids
- The most accurate Bluey impression you'll ever hear

Get up to date on the semi-latest, somewhat informative news by clicking a link below or finding us wherever you listen to podcasts. Because we should obviously be your number one source for (semi-) current events.

🍎https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/going-terribly/id1531827350
🐶https://open.spotify.com/show/1bm2PuIKafoXHuuOJSTqIy
🎣https://castbox.fm/channel/id3326895?country=us

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤Alice is about to leave town for a bit. But the episode won't stop, because of magic. While s...
21/05/2024

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤

Alice is about to leave town for a bit. But the episode won't stop, because of magic.

While she's still here, she and Doug discuss compulsions. They also discuss eating worms and making love to a potato's eye. These are not some of the compulsions. But they could be.
Elsewhere, Alice offers a disappointing Momofukuing story and Doug once again tries to be Steve Harvey.

EPISODE 190: TWO DALI ANTS IN A HOLE YOU'D ACTUALLY LIKE TO BE IN

Other discussion topics may include:
- How can you tell if you were an imp or a bully as a child?
- When your paramour becomes your paranomour
- Another new, addictive phone game - but make it fashion!
- An examination of birding complexes
- What is the butt, if not a corn dispenser?

Come hear the sordid, incriminating stories of Alice's childhood and why you might want to think twice before you run by her. Click on any of the links below or find us wherever you listen to podcasts.

🍎https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/going-terribly/id1531827350
🐶https://open.spotify.com/show/1bm2PuIKafoXHuuOJSTqIy
🎣https://castbox.fm/channel/id3326895?country=us

****le

16/05/2024

Alice and Doug are different people now. They yard saled away (yard saled away) and will gladly take your trash for the ...
14/05/2024

Alice and Doug are different people now. They yard saled away (yard saled away) and will gladly take your trash for the right price. Join them as they celebrate hidden treasures and completely amateur burger grillers in this fresh as a daisy banana pepisode!

EPISODE 189: TWO WHITE CASTLE EVANGELISTS IN A YARD SALE NEWBIE MISTAKE

Other discussion topics may include:
- The very popular, very necessary 4-to-1 bird to baby ratio
- Astronaut ice cream soil
- Spicy dragon fruit something-or-others
- Grown men's lemonade stands
- IKEA fo****in

Kick off your shoes (unless you're either not rich or poor), grab a $6 small coffee, and join us at any of the links below or wherever you listen to podcasts.

🍎https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/going-terribly/id1531827350
🐶https://open.spotify.com/show/1bm2PuIKafoXHuuOJSTqIy
🎣https://castbox.fm/channel/id3326895?country=us

Care Bears are back in!
12/05/2024

Care Bears are back in!

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤It's Asian Pacific Islander Heritage Month, and this episode is bursting with an incidentally...
07/05/2024

🎤🎧HAPPY TERRIBLE TUESDAY!🎧🎤

It's Asian Pacific Islander Heritage Month, and this episode is bursting with an incidentally Asian-themed It Went Terribly. Plus Alice and Doug discuss times they've had to call 911 (U.S. only). And just who in the heck was this Leviticus dude??

EPISODE 188: TWO SYMBOLICALLY LONG NOODLES IN A VIRTUAL TRIP TO TAMPA

Other discussion topics may include:
- Are Mr. Rogers and Aaron Neville kind of the same person?
- Some creepy old fellas' unfortunate desire to make women resemble hoofed animals
- Grand Theft Porcine
- Death by art failure
- How was the original pork chop created?

Come learn! Come be entertained! Come...feel more Asian! Click a link or find us wherever you get your podcasts.

🍎https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/going-terribly/id1531827350
🐶https://open.spotify.com/show/1bm2PuIKafoXHuuOJSTqIy
🎣https://castbox.fm/channel/id3326895?country=us

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