The Making and Re-Making of a Codependent Mind
Brian shares his journey of codependency recovery. Listen on your favorite podcast platform.
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An honest first-hand account of descent into and emergence from codependency. Brian and Stephanie share their journey of codependency recovery and understanding.Through first-hand experience, extensive research, and countless hours of discussion with Stephanie, his life partner, Brian has been able to understand the web of behaviors that formed his ’codependency’ and to heal from the trauma and the shame that was at the root of it.
Have you've been told or have you told yourself that 'relationships take work' as a reason to accept behaviours or a relationship that is not serving your needs? This season is about relationship tools, but we shouldn't use these tools to make a relationship work that isn't serving us. So what does 'work' mean in the to the context of a loving, healthy relationship? Brian and Stephanie discuss in the to the context of their relationship.
Experiencing relational trauma and subsequent relationship disorders, whether codependency, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, BPD can make empathy challenging. Not that the feelings aren't there, but often the empathetic system is so wounded that it is difficult to stay in a place of empathetic responsiveness. But empathy is a critical tool in forming and maintaining intimate relationships. In this episode we discuss the role of empathy in our relationship, Brian's experience with empathetic woundedness and how it overcame them.
Get your Paperback or eBook copy on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYH7TMZ1
The full audiobook can be purchased on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/Making-Re-Making-Codependent-Mind-Codependency/dp/B0D2LYSJC3/) and Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/4fzyWWfGTv34T5Hev7DsOP) and other platforms.
In Season 7, we return to the theme of Season 4 with episodes that focus on relationships. What are some of the tools, concepts and practices that we feel keep our connection strong and loving? In this episode, we discuss a tool that is not generally applied to relationships - the Lean Startup Methodology (https://theleanstartup.com/principles). People with codependent habits often get in to relationships very quickly and then spend an enormous amount of time and energy 'making the relationship work.' Applying Lean Startup encourages us to redirect that energy into answering the question - 'should this relationship exist?' We discuss how to start your relationships in a Lean way and how we use the methodology in our lives.
Get your Paperback or eBook copy on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYH7TMZ1
The full audiobook can be purchased on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/Making-Re-Making-Codependent-Mind-Codependency/dp/B0D2LYSJC3/) and Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/4fzyWWfGTv34T5Hev7DsOP) and other platforms.
Thank you for listening!
In addition to reading the final chapter, Brian and Stephanie discuss what they learned in writing Part 2 of the book chiefly the power of re-writing stories and the intrangency of the codependent habits.
00:01:06 The road to recovery00:08:00 Re-writing stories impact00:17:06 Habits
The full audiobook can be purchased on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/Making-Re-Making-Codependent-Mind-Codependency/dp/B0D2LYSJC3/) and Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/4fzyWWfGTv34T5Hev7DsOP) and other platforms.
If you are enjoying listening to the book, please leave a review on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review/?ie=UTF8&channel=glance-detail&asin=B0CYH7TMZ1
Brian describes tackling the core codependent behaviors—feeling responsible for others' emotions, compliance, caretaking, people pleasing, compromising boundaries—that had been his default since childhood. Even after healing from the trauma and emotional wounds, he needed a new way of relating to people, seeing and valuing himself as an individual, and embracing an active role in his life.
- Identifying these codependent behaviors and their underlying motivations, like people pleasing out of fear rather than empathy, was essential.
- Recognizing signs of powerlessness, such as resentment, defensiveness, and dishonesty, helped him shift to personal agency.
- Awareness of his emotional responses and practicing being okay with disappointing others was also key to breaking free from these patterns.
Healing from codependency has been about cultivating honest, authentic, and connected relationships.
00:02:05 Getting to Know Myself
00:05:03 Developing Personal Agency
00:07:30 Boundaries
00:13:07 The Codependency Habit
00:20:05 Breaking the Habit
The full audiobook can be purchased on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/Making-Re-Making-Codependent-Mind-Codependency/dp/B0D2LYSJC3/) and Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/4fzyWWfGTv34T5Hev7DsOP) and other platforms.
When I was young, I received signals from my environment — my family, my friendships, my community — that the world was unpredictable, chaotic, hostile and sometimes violent. The codependent behaviors allowed me to feel some measure of control in situations where, as a child, I had very little power. The problem with the set of behaviors, clustered together under the heading of codependency, is that outside of that initial environment, they became maladaptive. Meaning, they began to prevent me from finding and creating the kinds of relationships with other people that I desperately needed and desired, ones in which I felt seen, safe and connected.
The Making and the Re-Making of a Codependent Mind: A Journey Into and Out of Codependency
Read or listen on Amazon. The audiobook is also available on Spotify. The Making and the Re-Making of a Codependent Mind: A Journey Into and Out of Codependency
The Making and the Re-Making of a Codependent Mind: A Journey Into and Out of Codependency
In this chapter, Brian reflects on the complex interplay between memory, emotion, and narrative. Reflecting on various pivotal experiences, he realizes that many of the stories he told himself were crafted not to reveal truth but to evade uncomfortable emotions like shame. These narratives, often based on partial truths or outright fabrications, served as shields against facing his true feelings and the realities of his past. Through introspection and external guidance, he begins to unravel these tales, revisiting each with a critical eye to uncover buried emotions and reassess his behaviors. This painstaking process, though painful and destabilizing, gradually frees him from long-held shame and fear, revealing a clearer, more authentic understanding of himself and his life experiences. By confronting and rewriting his stories, he finds a path to genuine self-awareness and the possibility of living authentically moving forward.
The full audiobook can be purchased on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/Making-Re-Making-Codependent-Mind-Codependency/dp/B0D2LYSJC3/) and Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/4fzyWWfGTv34T5Hev7DsOP) and other platforms.
If you are enjoying listening to the book, please leave a review on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review/?ie=UTF8&channel=glance-detail&asin=B0CYH7TMZ1
When I was a small child my dad’s anger felt like a threat to me, as did my mother’s distress and depression.
How Threat Responses Become Trauma Responses
When I was a small child my dad’s anger felt like a threat to me, as did my mother’s distress and depression. Fighting or fleeing was not an option for me. The freeze and fawn responses were the only ones available and that’s how my body became conditioned to respond to threats. When I met my abusive friend G, that conditioning was fully activated. When I was being verbally or physically assaulted, I froze, let it happen, and waited for it to be over. Once the attack was over, I would go into fawn mode, to do everything I could to try to keep him from attacking me again, for as long as I possibly could. It didn’t ever occur to me that I could flee (by leaving the friendship) or fight back, even if it were just to tell my parents or teachers what was happening.
The abuse itself, the experiences of the abuse, combined with my responses - these were getting stored in my body. Subconsciously, I was becoming more and more practiced at recognizing when the next round of abuse was coming and anticipating it so that I could more quickly deploy the freeze or fawn response.
Going forward, if I experienced anything that my body interpreted as a similar interpersonal threat, whether it was truly a threat or not, it would produce the same physiological responses, sending me back into those original experiences.
Instead of an adaptive threat response, one that would optimize my chance at safety, I was experiencing a trauma response. Trauma had hijacked my ability to respond to certain types of threats in effective ways. Rather than responding to an actual threat (which sometimes it may be, of course), I would wind up responding more to an idea, a kind of muscle memory — a phantom threat. I wasn’t able to assess the threat potential head-on, since the trauma I had experienced had been attached to the feeling of threat.
Freezing and fawning as a response to abusive behavior isn’t a good long-term or permanent solution. If there is an angry or entitled person demanding something from me, freezing, fawning and giving the person what they want may solve the immediate problem, but will create much bigger problems down the road. It’s likely going to lead to people taking advantage of me over and over again and make it difficult for me to leave relationships and situations that are unhealthy for me.
As well, I would perceive these threats in behaviors that were not abusive like
someone disagreeing with me, and respond in similar ways. I was both inadvertently tying myself to abusive people who took advantage of my freezing and fawning behaviors and building a wall between me and everyone else, when it came to establishing emotional intimacy.
The Making and the Re-Making of a Codependent Mind: A Journey Into and Out of Codependency
The Making and the Re-Making of a Codependent Mind: A Journey Into and Out of Codependency
Latest episode. The healing finally begins.
In this Chapter, Brian chronicles the arduous and emotionally challenging process of healing from trauma. He recounts his realization that his conditioned freeze and fawn responses to perceived threats, stemming from childhood experiences with his parents and an abusive friend, were hindering his ab...
Leave a comment and let us know. Thank you 🙏🏻. And thank you for listening.
The full audiobook can be purchased on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/Making-Re-Making-Codependent-Mind-Codependency/dp/B0D2LYSJC3/) and Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/4fzyWWfGTv34T5Hev7DsOP) and other platforms.
If you are enjoying listening to the book, please leave a review on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review/?ie=UTF8&channel=glance-detail&asin=B0CYH7TMZ1
In this chapter, Brian describes his mental and emotional state at the end of his relationship with J when he met Stephanie. As their relationship develops, he gets a glimpse of the kind of intimacy he always wanted, but his codependent habits start to threaten their connection and he has some tough decisions to make.
After the reading, Brian and Stephanie discuss writing Part 1 of the book and the learning and growth they experienced in that process.
Thank you for liking, reviewing and following the book and the podcast, it helps other people find us.
Contact us: [email protected]
Last day to get the kindle version on sale for .99 cents. Start working on your codependent habits today.
The Making and the Re-Making of a Codependent Mind: A Journey Into and Out of Codependency
If you are enjoying listening to the book, please leave a review on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review/?ie=UTF8&channel=glance-detail&asin=B0CYH7TMZ1
In this episode, Brian reads chapter 4, which details his back to back relationships with abusive narcissists. He describes the lovebombing that began both of those relationships, the trauma bonds that kept him stuck and the powerless way the relationships ended. S*x, power and shame were all at play, contributing to the dysfunction and despair he experienced during those two marriages.
Contact us: https://www.codependentmind.com/
The full audio book is now available on Audible and Amazon. A preview is linked below or you can listen to the first three episodes on the podcast.
https://www.amazon.com/arya/webplayer?asin=B0D2M7SMV8&marketplaceId=ATVPDKIKX0DER&amazonAsin=B0D2LYSJC3&useRelativeUrl=true&initialCPLaunch=true&isSample=true&ref_=adbl_dp_dt_cloudplayer_login_sample
If you are enjoying listening to the book, please leave a review on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review/?ie=UTF8&channel=glance-detail&asin=B0CYH7TMZ1
In this chapter, Brian reflects on his struggles with codependency, which hindered his ability to form genuine connections with others. As a child, he learned to prioritize others' needs over his own, leading to a fragmented sense of self and difficulty understanding his emotions. As he navigated adolescence, he experienced sexual shame and a sense of unworthiness, further isolating him socially. He ended up passively accepting relationships with individuals who were also struggling emotionally, which often turned abusive.
A unique friendship with E, who shared similar struggles, provided safety but also enabled codependent behaviors. Reflecting on the friendship, the Brian acknowledges the complexity of their dynamic and the limitations of his codependent responses. Despite the challenges, the relationship taught him the value of intimate connections, planting a seed that would influence his understanding of healthy relationships in the future.
He then explores the many damaging relationships he has had with narcissistic individuals, highlighting the connection between codependency and narcissism, both stemming from trauma responses. While codependents seek safety by pleasing others, narcissists demand validation and entitlement. Narcissistic behaviors include grandiosity, entitlement, and lack of accountability. Brian's codependent tendencies made him susceptible to narcissists, excusing their abusive behavior. Different types of controlling behaviors are examined, with codependents managing emotions and narcissists asserting dominance aggressively.
From Chapter 2: Trauma
"Although many of my family childhood experiences might be considered as less obvious, drawn-out trauma and subjectively less severe, they never-the-less had a traumatic effect on me.
My codependent behaviors were responses to the emotional and psychological conditions of my early life. To understand how my codependent behaviors formed is to understand the trauma I experienced in that environment."
Read more or listen:
A Codependent Mind - A podcast and book that is t first-hand account of descent into and emergence from codependency. Brian and Stephanie share their journey of codependency healing and understanding.
Help us get in to the top 10! Get your copy now on Amazon. Thank you 🙏🏻 to all those who have already purchased. We appreciate your support. ❤️
Get your copy on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYH7TMZ1
In this chapter, Brian discusses the connection between trauma and his codependent habits. His experiences, including childhood dynamics and an early, abusive friendship are explored as sources of trauma, shaping his behaviors and triggering ingrained responses to threats - specifically freeze and fawn.
Brian’s journey of navigating trauma extended beyond physical safety to encompass emotional survival strategies. Amidst consistent fear and shame at home and with his childhood friend, emotional avoidance developed as a coping mechanism. Through dissociation and compartmentalization, painful emotions were suppressed and buried, leading to a solitary and chaotic inner life. While these strategies initially offered relief, they ultimately perpetuated Brian's emotional turmoil, as the unresolved emotional pain continued to escalate, fostering a cycle of isolation and dysfunctional relationships.
In this episode:
00:01:07 What is Trauma?00:03:13 New Layers of Trauma00:05:58 Threat Responses00:09:39 Emotional Trauma00:14:27 Emotional Avoidance
Contact us: https://www.codependentmind.com/
Thank you to all who have supported Brian and purchased the book! Leaving a rating or review on Amazon would also be terrifically helpful.
The Making and the Re-Making of a Codependent Mind: A Journey Into and Out of Codependency
This season Brian will be reading aloud from the book we just published (link and description below). Chapter One frames codependency as learned, strategic, adaptive response to feelings of powerlessness, to emotional pain. It also covers the dynamics within Brian's family that gave rise to the codependent behaviors that would eventually cripple him emotionally and relationally for most of his life.
Buy now in paperback or eBook form: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYH7TMZ1/
Based on the acclaimed podcast of the same name, follow Brian's transformative journey from codependency and despair to joyful, fulfilling and sustaining relationships. Gain guidance into examining your own life and crafting a personalized pathway to heal from codependency and trauma.
In Part 1 of his journey, Brian explores:
The family dynamics in his childhood that set the stage for codependent habits.
The long term effects of trauma, including its complex and chronic manifestations.
Threat responses (particularly freeze and fawn) and the connection to the behaviors that make up codependency.
The role of shame and fear in deepening his codependent habits.
How his codependent behaviors fostered isolation and perpetuated dysfunctional relationship dynamics.
The toxic interplay between narcissism and codependency, and the trauma bonds that ensnared him in relationships with abusive narcissists.
In Part 2, the re-making of a codependent mind, Brian describes:
What is on the other side of codependency? Is it worth it?
Healing from his emotional wounds by connecting with other people, repairing his emotional system and re-writing the stories of his life.
How he finally broke the codependent habits that prevented him from having the emotionally intimate relationships that he always craved.
Acquiring a new approach to romantic relationships.
This book is a beacon of hope for those seeking liberation from codependency's grip, providing both insights and practical guidance for the journey toward authenticity and connection.
The paperback version is now available! Be one of the first to review and earn our eternal gratitude 😊
The Making and the Re-Making of a Codependent Mind: A Journey Into and Out of Codependency
The e-book is now available for order on Amazon. Get 50% off if you order before Thursday.
The Making and the Re-Making of a Codependent Mind: A Journey Into and Out of Codependency
website: https://www.codependentmind.com/
Money talks, as they say, and in this episode we hear about the financial dimensions of Brian's codependency. For most of his life, money was not a tool for Brian to express his values and achieve his life goals, instead, it was fuel for his codependent habits - people pleasing, caretaking, lack of boundaries. His financial codependency, not surprisingly, did not lead to financial health, instead it lead to debt, stress and shame. Recovering from codependency also involved a recovery from financial codependency and we explore what it took for Brian to form a new relationship to money, one that has taken him to solvency and beyond.
00:01:18 Codependency and Money
00:03:36 Financial Caretaking
00:05:38 Self-Centeredness in Financial Codependency
00:06:09 Throwing Money at Problems
00:10:09 Unveiling Financial Shame
00:10:37 Narcissistic Entitlement and Money
00:11:06 Facing Financial Resentment
00:12:48 Post-Divorce Financial Codependency
00:15:43 Using Money to Avoid Abuse
00:16:24 Financial Caretaking as a Coping Mechanism
00:17:12 Rationalizing Financial Decisions
00:18:52 Fear and Shame in Financial Choices
00:21:54 Overcoming Financial Codependency
00:25:17 Processing Financial Shame
00:30:22 Aligning Money with Life Goals
00:32:43 Conclusion and Book Announcement
Thank you for liking, reviewing and following our podcast. It helps other people find us.
website: https://www.codependentmind.com/
Have you been codependent with a pet? Leave a comment and let us know.
We have described codependency as an interpersonal relationship dynamic, but in doing so, we may have inadvertently left out a whole category of relationships in which codependency can manifest - relationships with our pets. In this episode, we discuss the pets that Brian has had (dogs and cats) and the ways in which his codependent behavior habits showed up in those relationships. We also reflect on possible connections between narcissism and pet ownership.
00:00:45 Dogs and Cats
00:03:53 Codependent Behaviors with Pets
00:14:02 Boundary setting
00:16:18 Narcissists and Pets
00:22:52 Genuine caretaking vs codependent caretaking
Do you have a pet story to tell? Let us know on instagram or Facebook.
Thank you for liking, reviewing and following our podcast. It helps other people find ud.
In our latest episode, we talk to the brilliant Dr Nicole Piemonte of .in.medicine.
Learn more about Nicole's coaching practice, Meaning in Medicine, here: https://www.meaninginmed.com/about
The Enneagram Test - free test. Be sure to select the "Classical Test." Read about your results through the Enneagram Institute here.
In this episode we explore the phenomenon of codependency within professional environments, particularly the healthcare field, with our special guest, Dr. Nicole Piemonte. A PhD holder in Medical Humanities, Dr. Piemonte has dedicated her career to the human facets of medical practice.
In this discussion, we delve into Dr. Piemonte's career origins and personal journey with codependency. She describes a prevalent pattern of trauma-induced codependency within the health sector, typically characterized by 'rescuing' and 'fixing' patients—a behavior that draws parallels with institutional people-pleasing and poses significant hindrance to effective care.
Further in the conversation, we examine how codependency—stemming from a deep-rooted need to be needed—leads caregivers to self-neglect due to their inherent desire to help others. Surprisingly, narcissism and codependency share this common root of trauma, offering a new perspective on the familiar trope of the narcissist physician.
We shed light on the falseness of the emotion-free detachment often seen in medicine. Arguing that compassion fatigue emerges from not feeling anything, rather than ‘feeling too much’, Nicole emphasize the role of emotional reconnection in aiding clinicians to regain self-contentment and fulfillment.
Nicole discusses how through supportive coaching and introspection, it's possible to replace these maladaptive coping mechanisms with healthier ones.
00:00:07 Exploring Codependency in Professional Spaces
00:10:26 The tendency to fix and rescue in medicine
00:14:03 Recognizing codependency in personal and work relationships
00:20:51 Caretaking and Codependency
00:23:11 Coaching and Reconnecting to Meaning and Purpose in Medicine
00:31:12 Reconnecting with Emotions and the Healing Path
00:33:11 Compartmentalization as a Life Strategy and its Consequences
Thank you for liking, following and reviewing this podcast. It helps others find it.
website: https://www.codependentmind.com/
It's been a wild ride. Thank you for listening!
A Codependent Mind
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Have you’ve been told or have you told yourself that ‘relationships take work’ as a reason to accept behaviours or a relationship that is not serving your needs? This season is about relationship tools, but we shouldn’t use these tools to make a relationship work that isn’t serving us. So what does ‘work’ mean in the to the context of a loving, healthy relationship? Brian and Stephanie discuss in the to the context of their relationship. #codependency #anxiousattachment #anxiousattachmentstyle #relationshipadvice #relationships
Have you've been told or have you told yourself that 'relationships take work' as a reason to accept behaviours or a relationship that is not serving your needs? This season is about relationship tools, but we shouldn't use these tools to make a relationship work that isn't serving us. So what does 'work' mean in the to the context of a loving, healthy relationship? Brian and Stephanie discuss in the to the context of their relationship.
Part 2 - Season 5 Episode 5 In this episode we ‘hear’ from narcissists as Brian shares his hardwon insight into narcissistic behaviors coming from decades of friendships and relationships with narcissistic people. Building on conversations from previous episodes, we discuss the ways in which codependent behaviors and narcissistic behaviors overlap before reviewing the ways in which they form a toxic complementarity. And if you are still having difficulty spotting a narcissist, Brian offers examples from his past that illustrate the grandiosity, lack of accountability and entitlement that forms the backbone of narcissism. Mentioned in this episode: Codependency and Relationships: Dependency, Codependency and Interdependence 00:02:27 Narcissism vs narcissistic behaviors 00:05:49 Commonalities between narcissism and codependency 00:10:13 Differences between narcissism and codependency 00:13:48 Lovebombing 00:17:46 Spotting narcissistic behavior in relationships The paperback, eBook and audiobook version of the first two seasons of this podcast are now available on Amazon - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYB1K31V
Season 5 - #5 In this episode we ‘hear’ from narcissists as Brian shares his hardwon insight into narcissistic behaviors coming from decades of friendships and relationships with narcissistic people. Building on conversations from previous episodes, we discuss the ways in which codependent behaviors and narcissistic behaviors overlap before reviewing the ways in which they form a toxic complementarity. And if you are still having difficulty spotting a narcissist, Brian offers examples from his past that illustrate the grandiosity, lack of accountability and entitlement that forms the backbone of narcissism. Mentioned in this episode: Codependency and Relationships: Dependency, Codependency and Interdependence 00:02:27 Narcissism vs narcissistic behaviors 00:05:49 Commonalities between narcissism and codependency 00:10:13 Differences between narcissism and codependency 00:13:48 Lovebombing 00:17:46 Spotting narcissistic behavior in relationships The paperback, eBook and audiobook version of the first two seasons of this podcast are now available on Amazon - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYB1K31V
“when we had those times, when I would express distress or anger or hurt, and there’d be this empathetic system, misfire on your part. I mean, I knew that it didn’t, it wasn’t because you didn’t care about me or that you didn’t love me, but gosh, it kind of felt that way. Yeah, right. So that was not a tenable situation long term. Yeah. Because it’s kind of how you demonstrate what you feel for other people is in part feeling with them, being there for them and with them when they’re in distress.” From A Codependent Mind: S7 - Relationship Tool #2: Empathy, Aug 22, 2024 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-codependent-mind/id1633283988?i=1000666216930 #codependentnomore #codependencerecovery #complextraumarecovery
Empathy is the glue that holds a relationship together. But it’s hard to be empathic when you are in survival mode. #codependencerecovery #codependency #anxiousattachment
Experiencing relational trauma and subsequent relationship disorders, whether codependency, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, BPD can make empathy challenging. Not that the feelings aren't there, but often the empathetic system is so wounded that it is difficult to stay in a place of empathetic responsiveness. But empathy is a critical tool in forming and maintaining intimate relationships. In this episode we discuss the role of empathy in our relationship, Brian's experience with empathetic woundedness and how it overcame them. Get your Paperback or eBook copy on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYH7TMZ1 The full audiobook can be purchased on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/Making-Re-Making-Codependent-Mind-Codependency/dp/B0D2LYSJC3/) and Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/4fzyWWfGTv34T5Hev7DsOP) and other platforms.
Use The Lean Startup Methodology to learn about yourself and improve your chances at relational success!
In Season 7, we return to the theme of Season 4 with episodes that focus on relationships. What are some of the tools, concepts and practices that we feel keep our connection strong and loving? In this episode, we discuss a tool that is not generally applied to relationships - the Lean Startup Methodology (https://theleanstartup.com/principles). People with codependent habits often get in to relationships very quickly and then spend an enormous amount of time and energy 'making the relationship work.' Applying Lean Startup encourages us to redirect that energy into answering the question - 'should this relationship exist?' We discuss how to start your relationships in a Lean way and how we use the methodology in our lives. Get your Paperback or eBook copy on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYH7TMZ1 The full audiobook can be purchased on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/Making-Re-Making-Codependent-Mind-Codependency/dp/B0D2LYSJC3/) and Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/4fzyWWfGTv34T5Hev7DsOP) and other platforms. Thank you for listening!
Final chapter! We talk about what we have learned while writing the 2nd part. What have been your major takeaways? Listen soon as we will be removing the full audiobook from the podcast in a couple of weeks. Thank you for all the support. ❤️❤️
In addition to reading the final chapter, Brian and Stephanie discuss what they learned in writing Part 2 of the book chiefly the power of re-writing stories and the intrangency of the codependent habits. 00:01:06 The road to recovery00:08:00 Re-writing stories impact00:17:06 Habits The full audiobook can be purchased on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/Making-Re-Making-Codependent-Mind-Codependency/dp/B0D2LYSJC3/) and Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/4fzyWWfGTv34T5Hev7DsOP) and other platforms. If you are enjoying listening to the book, please leave a review on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review/?ie=UTF8&channel=glance-detail&asin=B0CYH7TMZ1
Breaking the codependency habit involved healing my empathic system. Paperback and audiobook available on Amazon. Thank you for rating and reviewing.
I thought I was healed from the trauma, but I still had a bunch of habits I needed to break
I needed to learn the difference between boundaries and expectations
Brian describes tackling the core codependent behaviors—feeling responsible for others' emotions, compliance, caretaking, people pleasing, compromising boundaries—that had been his default since childhood. Even after healing from the trauma and emotional wounds, he needed a new way of relating to people, seeing and valuing himself as an individual, and embracing an active role in his life. - Identifying these codependent behaviors and their underlying motivations, like people pleasing out of fear rather than empathy, was essential. - Recognizing signs of powerlessness, such as resentment, defensiveness, and dishonesty, helped him shift to personal agency. - Awareness of his emotional responses and practicing being okay with disappointing others was also key to breaking free from these patterns. Healing from codependency has been about cultivating honest, authentic, and connected relationships. 00:02:05 Getting to Know Myself 00:05:03 Developing Personal Agency 00:07:30 Boundaries 00:13:07 The Codependency Habit 00:20:05 Breaking the Habit The full audiobook can be purchased on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/Making-Re-Making-Codependent-Mind-Codependency/dp/B0D2LYSJC3/) and Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/4fzyWWfGTv34T5Hev7DsOP) and other platforms.
Love bombing worked on me. It blew up my life. #lovebombing #narcissisticabuse
Most of the stories and the larger narratives that I carried were not effective in helping me understand myself and the world, in building a life of meaning and purpose or in connecting me with other people. Not because they weren’t based on fact, they usually were to some extent. But those facts were highly curated. I would only let in the information I needed to in order to make the story plausible to myself and other people. So in that way, they may or may not have been factual, but they certainly weren’t true. How did I re-write my stories? Read on Amazon or listen on your podcast platform of choice. #codependency #codependencypodcast #audiobook
In this chapter, Brian reflects on the complex interplay between memory, emotion, and narrative. Reflecting on various pivotal experiences, he realizes that many of the stories he told himself were crafted not to reveal truth but to evade uncomfortable emotions like shame. These narratives, often based on partial truths or outright fabrications, served as shields against facing his true feelings and the realities of his past. Through introspection and external guidance, he begins to unravel these tales, revisiting each with a critical eye to uncover buried emotions and reassess his behaviors. This painstaking process, though painful and destabilizing, gradually frees him from long-held shame and fear, revealing a clearer, more authentic understanding of himself and his life experiences. By confronting and rewriting his stories, he finds a path to genuine self-awareness and the possibility of living authentically moving forward. The full audiobook can be purchased on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/Making-Re-Making-Codependent-Mind-Codependency/dp/B0D2LYSJC3/) and Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/4fzyWWfGTv34T5Hev7DsOP) and other platforms. If you are enjoying listening to the book, please leave a review on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review/?ie=UTF8&channel=glance-detail&asin=B0CYH7TMZ1
It took me a long time to figure out my triggers, but when I did, it made a HUGE difference. #traumahealing #traumatriggers #triggers
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