05/09/2022
Love Expectation ± To Cleffa
I woke up with a calm, yet I felt a strange sadness; a longing for others but drowned inside a feeling of~ fear maybe. The dream I had showed me many things; the anxiety of wanting to be liked, that some people give you love with conditions, fear of the "status quo" and a question ⸮ "Why do I not fit in?".
'Why do I not fit in?' an intense question, hyper intense... Why right ⸮ like being my authentic self becomes difficult. No, not difficult, just confusing in each interaction that passes.
۞ ᏝᎧᎧᏦ ᏇᎥᏖᏂᎥᏁ — I mean I do feel the love , it is there but it changes; am I changing it?
Maybe I am.
Is there an expectation that I have in others?
What am I expecting, should I be/have(ing) expectations in others?
Can't they just be them and I be me?
Are there expectations they place upon me?
What expectations am I placing upon myself?
What am I supposed to do, to be doing?
All real questions, all important! In the scope that I am learning─growing to become the be me that "I" can because for the state of my growth, is it not up to me how I grow.
Do the circumstances of life fully shape me, who I am?
Don't "I" have the choice in how I react, how I deal with these situations?
I do, do I not?
֍ ᐺᓰᗷᖇᗩᖶᘿ ᕼᓰᘜᕼᘿᖇ — It's all about vibration, everything vibrates; Some things higher, Some things lower. What does the vibration of love feel like?
۞ ᏝᎧᎧᏦ ᏇᎥᏖᏂᎥᏁ — Close your eyes- feel its sensation. From memory to moment, feel it. Do you⸮ go deeper.
Does it feel good in your chest, your heart, your chakra?
Can we go deeper than this, to the feeling/vibration/sensation of love that was before our birth?
[̲̅?] ᗩ TᕼOᑌGᕼT ᑕOᗰEᔕ
Male and Female, Man and Woman, opposite polarities of the same source. Core basis of love between the two creates life.
Man and Man, Woman and Woman, further opposites of the same polarity . Love is there beyond the core concept that creates life.
[̲̅?] ᕲᘿᘿᕵᘿᖇ — Thought; say a gay man and a gay woman were in a situation of absolute isolation, would the core love sensation be formed? Is it possible?
And "if" this is possible, that turning point vibration of love (assuming its conducive). How deep does that vibration go how much further inside can one feel that love?
۞ ᏝᎧᎧᏦ ᏇᎥᏖᏂᎥᏁ — Close your eyes and Imagine that deep feeling of love, where the opposite poles start to pull together. Trace its source. Focus on the feeling from your chest, your heart, your chakra. Breathe into it.
Feel that vibration emanating from everything around you. Feel the love that the trees have for you, when you hear the sound of the leaves, the branches, the roots. The sound of the wind, the feeling of the air, the warmth of the sun.
——An image of her appears in my mind. I can feel her love from the other side. Tears forming, I can feel you. Perceive the source of that feeling,— (—I will always love you, no matter what form—) —feel the love from everything and send it out, spread that vibration to everything you feel around you.
Remember that sensation, that vibration.
It feels like the most important sensation one can have within. It makes me want to move, to dance.
Is there a song that you like⸮ play it, dance with me!
Hey! Hey, you reading this! I Love You!
Always~