Hot Widowed Mess

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Hot Widowed Mess EXPLICIT CONTENT! Hi my name is Heather and I am bringing you ALL the REALITY. Just your average 34yr old widow thrown into the single life!
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Get ready for a series of guest hosts who either completely disagree, or who have the exact same POV!

The feeling is never gone even when the person is 🖤Missing you EXTRA today . . . . . . 📸 .mertz
23/12/2022

The feeling is never gone even when the person is 🖤

Missing you EXTRA today . . . . . .

📸 .mertz

WE’RE BACK 🫶🏼Another Episode of .widowed.mess is about to go LIVE, 12/8/22 at 6AM PST ✌🏼Join your host with special gue...
07/12/2022

WE’RE BACK 🫶🏼

Another Episode of .widowed.mess is about to go LIVE, 12/8/22 at 6AM PST ✌🏼

Join your host with special guest as they dive deep into MENTAL HEALTH. Learn what strategies both women are using to improve their battles with anxiety and gain some insight on Ketamine Infusion Therapy as Heather shares an update on her own Ketamine journey.

Subscribe on your FAVORITE podcast app so you NEVER MISS AN EPISODE 🖤

Not a moment goes by that you don’t cross my mind . . . Life is not the same, I am not the same, but one day we will be ...
01/12/2022

Not a moment goes by that you don’t cross my mind . . .

Life is not the same, I am not the same, but one day we will be together again and until then I will live everyday for YOU!

WE ARE NOT THE SAME ✌🏼WE’RE BACK for the LONG AWAITED REUNION of & .widowed.mess In this episode Lacey and Heather fill...
29/11/2022

WE ARE NOT THE SAME ✌🏼

WE’RE BACK for the LONG AWAITED REUNION of & .widowed.mess

In this episode Lacey and Heather fill you in on ALL the things that have happened since their last recorded EPISODE!

Oh there is going to be some TEA 🫖

BONUS EPISODE TO RELEASE 12/2 6AM PST on your favorite podcast app, be sure to subscribe so you NEVER miss an episode!

BACK with CERTIFIED MEDIUM ✨We are so excited to talk with you about how connecting to past loved ones can help grief E...
28/11/2022

BACK with CERTIFIED MEDIUM ✨

We are so excited to talk with you about how connecting to past loved ones can help grief ESPECIALLY in the holiday season!

Recording TODAY so DM any questions you may have and catch the EPISODE LIVE 11/30 6AM PST on & or follow link in BIO to

As for my girls, I will raise them to think they breathe fire 🔥 Jessica Kirkland Solo parenting, widowhood and everythin...
16/09/2022

As for my girls, I will raise them to think they breathe fire 🔥 Jessica Kirkland
Solo parenting, widowhood and everything that comes in between in not for the faint of heart.
Join me on the next episode of .widowed.mess where I get REAL about life after death, relationships, new normals, how I navigate life as well as a life update and YOUR questions answered!
Available on your favorite podcast app (search, HOT WIDOWED MESS) or follow link in bio, episode will be live Wednesday 9.21.22!
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It hurts you don’t pop up on notifications anymore. . . . add this to the list of random things that make my heart hurt ...
13/09/2022

It hurts you don’t pop up on notifications anymore. . . . add this to the list of random things that make my heart hurt 💔
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Grief never ends, but it changes. It is a passage, not a place to stay.Grief is not a sign of weakness, but the price of...
24/08/2022

Grief never ends, but it changes.

It is a passage, not a place to stay.

Grief is not a sign of weakness, but the price of LOVE ❤️

I wanted to spend the rest of my life with YOU, but I’m deeply honored knowing that you spent the rest of your life WITH...
24/08/2022

I wanted to spend the rest of my life with YOU, but I’m deeply honored knowing that you spent the rest of your life WITH ME! 💔

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It’s a club I hope you never join. A club that is not worth the price of admission. And a club whose doors I am cracking...
23/08/2022

It’s a club I hope you never join. A club that is not worth the price of admission. And a club whose doors I am cracking open-just a smidge-for you. Because there are some truths that are evident: that we are all doing our best, that our best is hardly ever good enough, and that not everything is going to be okay ✌🏼 Nora McInerny



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HAPPY HEAVENLY BIRTHDAY ❤️“I’ll be your legacy. I’ll be your voice. You live on in me, so I’ve made the choice to honor ...
19/08/2022

HAPPY HEAVENLY BIRTHDAY ❤️

“I’ll be your legacy. I’ll be your voice. You live on in me, so I’ve made the choice to honor your life by living again. I love you! I miss you! I’ll see you again.”

Screaming HAPPY BIRTHDAY to heaven, I hope you hear me! Although I grieve the life we will never have. I am SO thankful for the countless memories that will last a lifetime!

Today we celebrate YOU and the amazing soul you are by doing ALL your FAVORITE things! I hope your enjoying a beer and Reese’s with Dad up there! I LOVE YOU FOREVER!

Two years have flown by and yet stood so incredibly still . . . . My LOVE for you will never diminish! It’s because of y...
29/06/2022

Two years have flown by and yet stood so incredibly still . . . .

My LOVE for you will never diminish! It’s because of your life and death, I am who I am today!

I miss getting your work selfies 😭💔

You were so proud to be a daddy and you worked so hard for us! I LOVE YOU forever 💔

Two years without you, two years since We talked, two years since I felt your arms around me. These days are nothing sho...
27/06/2022

Two years without you, two years since We talked, two years since I felt your arms around me. These days are nothing short of a nightmare as memories of today both before and after the accident come flooding back. FOREVER MISSED and life will NEVER be the same 💔

Chances to catch me on the MIC 🎤 THIS WEEK! TUESDAY 9:15am STRENGTH at MUV North5:45pm STRENGTH at MUV Valley7:00pm RHYT...
31/05/2022

Chances to catch me on the MIC 🎤 THIS WEEK!

TUESDAY
9:15am STRENGTH at MUV North
5:45pm STRENGTH at MUV Valley
7:00pm RHYTHM at MUV Valley

WEDNESDAY
5:45pm RHYTHM at MUV Valley

THURSDAY
6:00am RHYTHM Barrebelle Fitness Studio
9:15am Core De Force MUV South

FRIDAY
9:15am STRENGTH at MUV South

Not a MUV member, be my guest! New to Barrebelle, get a FREE week of classes!

Warrior Strength is a 60-minute class broken into two 30-minute sections. Cardio Countdown is all about maximal caloric expenditure in a short amount of time with an emphasis on cardiovascular conditioning. Get Pumped is your strength-based section that will tighten, tone, lengthen, and sculpt your muscles!

Ever wish you loved yoga? Warrior Rhythm is the bridge between classic group exercise and traditional yoga. With its rebel vibe, edgy playlists, and unconventionally sweaty flows this format will rock your world! We intertwine mindfulness, yoga, weightlifting, and even HIIT training into an extraordinary experience.

📸 Mertz

She wears all black just like her soul, yet her heart is made of gold 🖤📸
31/05/2022

She wears all black just like her soul, yet her heart is made of gold 🖤

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Comeback Season🤘🏼
30/05/2022

Comeback Season🤘🏼

Some days it’s not about health or building muscles . . . . Sometimes it’s just therapy!The☝🏼thing that has helped me pr...
25/05/2022

Some days it’s not about health or building muscles . . . .

Sometimes it’s just therapy!

The☝🏼thing that has helped me progress on this unwanted journey of grief is PHYSICAL MOVEMENT!

In the beginning I ran to the point of pain, to make the physical suffering match the emotional turmoil I was feeling!

Almost two years later I have learned to use movement to channel anxiety, sadness and even anger.

Now it’s something my body craves!

She didn’t just walk on the wild side, she lived there, dancing in the streets and setting fire to the sky ❤️‍🔥
25/05/2022

She didn’t just walk on the wild side, she lived there, dancing in the streets and setting fire to the sky ❤️‍🔥

LOVE your LIFE! Take pictures of EVERYTHING. Tell people you love them. Talk to random strangers. Do things that you’re ...
31/03/2022

LOVE your LIFE! Take pictures of EVERYTHING. Tell people you love them. Talk to random strangers. Do things that you’re scared to do. F**k it, because so many of us die and no one remembers a thing we did. Take your life and make it the best story in the world! Don’t waste that s**t!

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There are four things in this life that WILL change you. Love, music, art and LOSS. The first three will keep you wild a...
06/03/2022

There are four things in this life that WILL change you. Love, music, art and LOSS. The first three will keep you wild and full of passion. May you allow the last to make you brave. 🖤 Erin Van Vuren

GRIEF comes in ALL shapes & sizes! LISTEN NOW 🎙 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hot-widowed-mess/id1543052982?i=10...
03/03/2022

GRIEF comes in ALL shapes & sizes!

LISTEN NOW 🎙


https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hot-widowed-mess/id1543052982?i=1000552825256

On

https://open.spotify.com/episode/0M6IvOF4wdHvQxamOn8sQY?si=4ABer_haSkKABeAYcHb90A

On

https://hotwidowedmess.buzzsprout.com/1486801/10179380

Finding your GLOW again. Three women, three stories, grief, growth and the messy beautiful process in between. 

Join Heather with special guests Ellen & Kelly as they discuss their grief/life/stress tool box and how you can overcome ANY form of grief.

Grief and trauma does not have to alter who you, there are tools to help you heal and grow.

Kelly, Ellen and Heather discuss how community, anchor behaviors, nutrition and fitness have been most beneficial in their journeys through grief.

Stay tuned for PART 2 as we have only scratched the surface.

HOST Heather Gardner
IG:
        .widowed.mess
EMAIL: [email protected]

How you can find out more about your AMAZING guests.

Ellen de Werd
Creator of WARRIOR Rhythm & Strength
FB: Ellen Elisabeth Werd
IG: 
www.ellendewerd.net
www.Warrior instructors.com

Kelly Amos, MS, CFNC
https://www.facebook.com/kelly.m.amos.9
https://www.instagram.com/kellyanneamos/
www.linkedin.com/in/kelly-amos-201b4647 
 www.nosugarcoatingwithkelly.com
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZS6v3gnbMhM35utq19rgtw

ALL NEW EPISODE LIVEFinding your GLOW again. Three women, three stories, grief, growth and the messy beautiful process i...
03/03/2022

ALL NEW EPISODE LIVE

Finding your GLOW again. Three women, three stories, grief, growth and the messy beautiful process in between. 

Join Heather with special guests Ellen & Kelly as they discuss their grief/life/stress tool box and how you can overcome ANY form of grief.

Grief and trauma does not have to alter who you, there are tools to help you heal and grow.

Kelly, Ellen and Heather discuss how community, anchor behaviors, nutrition and fitness have been most beneficial in their journeys through grief.

Stay tuned for PART 2 as we have only scratched the surface.

HOST Heather Gardner
IG:
        .widowed.mess
EMAIL: [email protected]

How you can find out more about your AMAZING guests.

Ellen de Werd
Creator of WARRIOR Rhythm & Strength
FB: Ellen Elisabeth Werd
IG: 
www.ellendewerd.net
www.Warrior instructors.com

Kelly Amos, MS, CFNC
https://www.facebook.com/kelly.m.amos.9
https://www.instagram.com/kellyanneamos/
www.linkedin.com/in/kelly-amos-201b4647 
 www.nosugarcoatingwithkelly.com
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZS6v3gnbMhM35utq19rgtw

The silence after the rain . . . . . how quickly the sky pulls herself together 🖤Come experience the healing movement of...
02/03/2022

The silence after the rain . . . . . how quickly the sky pulls herself together 🖤

Come experience the healing movement of with ME 🙋🏼‍♀️

at &

📸/💪🏼

Sometimes the memories hit a little harder and hurt a lot more . . . . . . and a whole new wave of grief hits, you know...
28/01/2022

Sometimes the memories hit a little harder and hurt a lot more . . . .
. . and a whole new wave of grief hits, you know the one where you grieve the life your dead person should have had, all the memories and things they miss out on.

Cheer comp season is especially hard not just for me but Lillee. Grieving when your a mother is hard, add on the trauma of your children being present in the moment their father tragically passed, even harder. Navigating your child’s grief alongside your own . . . it honestly feels impossible at times.

And yet we keep going!

Grief DOES come in waves and one thing I have learned through this healing journey is to lean in and “ride” the waves.

I know you’re cheering your girl on from heaven 🖤 She ROCKED her solo you would be SO PROUD!
16/01/2022

I know you’re cheering your girl on from heaven 🖤

She ROCKED her solo you would be SO PROUD!

I’M A WIDOW 🖤I’m allowed to be happy, sad, right, wrong, in love, alone, laughing, crying, thoughtful, clueless, underst...
12/01/2022

I’M A WIDOW 🖤

I’m allowed to be happy, sad, right, wrong, in love, alone, laughing, crying, thoughtful, clueless, understanding, brittle, friendly, withdrawn, compassionate, isolated, with-it and without it......

.........ALL at the same time!

For those who have stuck by me YOU THE REAL MVP!

I hope to normalize grief, widowhood, solo parenting (yep my kids are half orphans now) and all the weird s**t that comes with being a young widow (like the first time you realize your emergency contact is actually dead)

WARNING DARK HUMOR AND EXPLICIT CONTENT will be used in copious amounts 😆

NEW PODCAST EPISODE THURSDAY 6 AM PST, avaliable on your favorite podcast app like or straight from (link in bio or www.buzzsprout.com/hotwidowedmess

Ketamine can’t repair loss. It can’t fix grief or trauma. This I whole heartedly understand, I don’t ask Ketamine to be...
04/01/2022

Ketamine can’t repair loss. It can’t fix grief or trauma. This I whole heartedly understand, I don’t ask Ketamine to be a quick fix, instead I have committed to diving in and doing the work to fully heal. Ketamine is the map and I am on a journey.

As I head off for my second Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy session I feel awareness of the return of symptoms and fluctuations in moods, this for me is paramount in figuring out when it’s time to get a Ketamine treatment/booster. For me it’s vital to pay attention to the filter that PTSD imposes. For me this means closely monitoring my inner dialogue. When I experience the arrival of intense emotional PTSD flashbacks, fleeting suicidal ideation , negative thoughts that I can’t escape no matter which psychological tools I use, anxiety that brings a heaviness that burdens me incessantly, issues with breathing properly due to panic and my near death experience, constant worry of impending doom. These symptoms lead to a total lack of motivation, loss of desire to engage in life, wanting to isolate, being angry towards myself and others, clouded thinking, the absence of ease in processing information or the clarity of mind that Ketamine treatments provide me with.

Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy, my experience and a special guest will be featured on the next episode of Hot Widowed Mess!

You are under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago 🖤🔥✌🏼
23/12/2021

You are under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago 🖤🔥✌🏼

Sometimes we don’t want to heal because the pain is the last link to what we’ve lost . . . . JM Storm Healing from traum...
20/12/2021

Sometimes we don’t want to heal because the pain is the last link to what we’ve lost . . . . JM Storm

Healing from trauma, PTSD, grief and loss are not for the faint of heart and this quote made me think. Do we hold onto the pain as a way to show our love? Do we hold onto the pain because we fear we will forget? Has PTSD conditioned us to find comfort in the pain?

I have committed to healing from complex PTSD. It is not easy, self medicating/soothing (in all forms) is a lot easier then digging out the root of your trauma(s) and learning new ways to not only cope but live.

Upcoming podcast on complex PTSD, symptoms, causes, treatments and my personal experiences.

If you would like to share your story of being a PTSD warrior DM me here or

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When you get drunk the night before the cops get you drunk 🤷🏼‍♀️ PRE FUNK at its finest!

We knew she'd be mad 😂😂😂

Happy googly boobly Thanksgiving from us to you 😂🤣😂🤣 why did we think this was a good idea after gorging on food lol P.S. - Anyone notice the Fat Roger dance in there for a second 😂

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