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19/01/2024

This photo sums up so much about our trip, this little boy’s personality, and the relationship, as a family, we have with Sierra Leone.

As family we spent two weeks in Sierra Leone taking in so much of the life and culture. We were hot, ate weird food, and loved deeply. We made new friends and saw old ones. We laughed over cultural differences. Kids played with children who know little or no English. We saw some hard truths but also felt deep love and appreciation from everyone we met.

I pray this trip will be a core memory for all of us.

21/12/2023

As we rush up to Christmas, remember 2 things… you’re doing a great job making memories even if you aren’t doing anything special AND it is often the simplest things they remember.

Our kids have played in this box for weeks. I was getting ready to recycle it and there were tears! So I’ll keep it a bit longer because it’s simple and easy but lots of laughs & giggles.

27/10/2023

I have always called him my quiet observer. He’ll sit and watch the world, smile as people pass by, and always double check I’m still 2 feet away. He is the opposite of his brother in every way (he’s even left handed) but he is exactly what we need in our family.

We sat pushing the car back and forth after dinner for about 20 minutes and he loved-giggling and making car noises. His older brother takes up a lot of our focus and energy at times so it was a joy to be able to focus on him.

Mama you’re doing great!!

20/10/2023

10 years ago today I was visiting a friend in a pub with an empty seat next to me and this guy sat next to me. We chatted, laughed, and had a nice time-the start of a crazy adventure. Fast forward 10 years and we have gone through an engagement, wedding, living in 3 cities, having a dog, parents to two boys, and a few houses. What a crazy 10 years.

Oh yeah and happy birthday uncle Ben!

15/10/2023

Tonight we remember…

It’s a club I never wanted to join or a static I wanted to represent but here I am. It never gets easier and I I find myself at times wondering what life would be like having held those 10 little fingers and kissed those 10 little toes.

So tonight I remember. I stand with those who are in the club with me. My door is always open to talk or listen.

09/10/2023

I’m grateful for this “summer” weather arriving late. It’s meant having a chance to start fixing up the garden. We have made so much progress (photos to come) and I can’t wait!

But this space is bringing me joy. It’s cozy, calming, and close enough to the WiFi. 😂

The downstairs of our house might not look great but grateful for this space.

07/10/2023

Why yes I do have some amazing (new) outdoor furniture that is very comfy to sit in and yet here I am sitting on the steps (swipe) watching this kid go back and forth on his trike.

I try and say yes more than no to my kids. Not to spoil them but to be with them. Yes, I would prefer to sit in the chair and read my book but he asked for me to sit on the stairs and “shout” beep beep when he went by. Easy yes to me.

And yes, my calm cautious observe fell and broke his wrist this week. Shout out to the nurses in urgent care that made him laugh and smile as they x-rayed and casted (or arm plaster in the UK).

28/07/2023

I planted these dahlias before going to Sierra Leone with strict instructions to water and keep an eye on them. Well I got home to find them a bit eaten. It was a bit weird but oh well, I have other dahlias.

Fast forward to today when I was out in the garden playing with the boys I noticed this small little flower. I had written these dahlia off.

As I looked at the flower I realised even when life is hard and you feel broken there is still beauty growing within you.

25/07/2023

6 months ago these didn’t fit but today they do because I chose to do the work. I chose to say no. I choose to sacrifice sleep. I chose to set boundaries.

For the last six months I have worked on myself. Spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I haven’t “arrived” (do we ever?!) but I’m in a much healthier place than I was 6 months ago because I chose to.

It hasn’t been easy. I have shed a lot of tears and some sweat. I opened wounds I thought had healed and started to use my voice for myself and not just for “the cause.” Everyday I choose to know my worth, who’s I am, and eat a salad. Remember you can do hard things too!

23/07/2023

The art of celebrating

Last night we celebrated closing the chapter (or maybe it’s a book when it’s been 2.5 years) on a painful, stressful, and hard season.

Celebrating the good is one of my favourite things but over the past two years I have learned to celebrate the little achievements, to celebrate the hard decisions, and to celebrate the perseverance to keep going.

I’m grateful for the guy next to me who was there along the way. Joining me in the sorrow and celebration.

12/04/2023

This guy has been standing by my side for the last 8 years. We have had many adventures, ups and downs, and moved house/cities a lot but he has stuck with me. This year we are thousands of miles apart on our wedding anniversary but very grateful for his support over the years.

09/03/2023

I currently live in a snow globe and I’m not mad about it.

There is something about snow that makes the world magical. I’m aware it causes a lot of disruptions but as I sit and wait for a delayed train watching it fall is grounding me.

How does snow make you feel?

❄️

03/12/2022

**Grief @ Christmas**
A couple of years ago a friend gave me these wings as a reminder of loved ones who are no longer on this earth but in our hearts. This year these wings mean more than previous years and I’m not sure why.

Grief around the holidays is a funny thing. Feeling loss and emptiness while making new memories. Tonight as I look at these wings I feel the emptiness but also gratefulness.

If you are grieving be kind to yourself, go slow, and do what you can but always reach out!

30/11/2022

About Monday night

After coming home from an afternoon/evening out I knew something wasn’t right with the toddler. He has had a cough for about a week and on the way home it wasn’t sounding right. There was something in my gut saying he needed to be checked out.

NHS 111 agreed and we headed to the hospital. The a&e was packed so we waited and the toddler slept. As we waited I noticed him getting warmer- again my gut was telling me something wasn’t right. They very quickly checked his tempt and noticed his breathing was slow. When checking his oxygen levels they were in the 80’s (that’s not good!)- 92 is the minimum.

We were quickly rushed into a room and given oxygen. He wasn’t a fan and thankfully they cranked it up and put it near his face. We waited some more. They did various tests and scans. His oxygen levels improved and they wanted to see if he could maintain a certain level without extra oxygen. So we waited some more.

Thankfully he was able to maintain his oxygen and as the tests show he has a severe chest infection. We were discharged and given antibiotics.

But here is the reality we went in at 8pm and we were discharged at 6:30am. The room had a child “bed” and a blue plastic chair. Thankfully, I got a slight more comfortable chair and slept for about 45 minutes. But as I arrived home hubby was leaving. I managed and 30 minutes before the baby was up.

So here we are today-surviving. Toddler still asleep and baby playing blocks. I have yesterdays clothes. And zero expectation to get anything done.

Last night was intense but I was reminded that I need to listen to my gut. It can be frustrating & hard when if feels like you are constantly advocating for your kid but trust your gut!

&e

21/11/2022

****GIVEAWAY****
This week I have already been bombarded with Black Friday sales. So I thought I would do a giveaway to spread a bit of Thanksgiving (& Christmas) cheer. I have LOVED books- she gives great ideas and this book is perfect for the holidays when you are on the go! I also LOVE to relax and are the perfect way to! So I thought why not give away to things that might help make life a little easier. I will ship this give away to anyone anywhere.

TO ENTER:
- Follow me (.bearuk
-Like this post
-Tag at least 1 friend (more tags the more entries) mom friend, cross cultural friend, that friend who tags you in everything, your dad. I don’t care!

Closes Thursday (Thanksgiving) sometime during the day.

This giveaway is not affiliated with Instagram, fiveminutemum, or spacemasks. I have purchased these products and will NEVER ask for money or bank details. The winner will be contacted privately to get delivery details.

18/11/2022

Real talk
The last couple of weeks have been hard. Have been emotionally, physically, and spiritually draining. I wish I could say but (fill in the blank with something positive) but I can’t. I’m not at that point of the story. So instead I’m going to lay here a little longer, breathe, and listen to music. I know this isn’t the end of the story. So breathe with me and remember you can do hard things!

07/11/2022

LUNCH FOR ONE
Today, I ordered lunch for one-me. I sat and ate my lunch not trying to get any other person at the table to eat the food they ordered/chose. I didn’t have a million napkins. I ate at a normal pace as I wasn’t feeding anyone else. No one at my table wanted to growl or talk in a monster voice. Actually, no one at my table wanted to talk. It was glorious! The couple next to me at first looked at me with a bit of sad sympathy but when I made eye contact with the lady I said, “I’m a mom of two very active little boys.” Her eyes turned from sympathy to empathy, she replied, “Enjoy!”

I did enjoy my lunch for one. Something I didn’t know was a luxury in my singleness or early years of marriage but having lunch in peace was gift.

01/11/2022

Today was hard. It was hard as life didn’t go as planned. It was hard because of a difficult conversation. It was hard because I feel like I have failed at being a mom. It was hard. But I can do hard things.

Tomorrow is a new day. New grace. New Hope. New mercy.

31/10/2022

**Kindness Matters**
Tonight we went around our neighbourhood and gave out treats for what we call “treat or treat”. We wanted to share a little bit of kindness and get to know our neighbours. With every knock on the door came at first confused and then surprised looks as a little boy mumbled treat or treat. A few people were said they didn’t have any sweets (or candy) but as we offered them the bag of treats the confusion turned into appreciation. They may have opened the physical door but in reality the door has been flung open to build a relationship with our neighbours simple because we showed a bit of kindness. We got offers of cups of tea and play dates as we stood in the rain. Plus the excitement on a little boys face each time the neighbour would answer was poor joy. Kindness matters and I was very much reminded of that tonight.

☔️

17/10/2022

Cultures are a funny thing. We all have a different types of culture in our lives. I can think of three.

We have our country culture. It’s the culture that shapes us by the country we live in. It’s what makes people American, or English, or etc. we could even go a step deeper and talk about where in the country you live also shapes you but that’s for another day.

We have family culture. It’s the things we did or didn’t do within our family unit, the traditions, the boundaries, etc. Schooling and financial also play a role in this culture. This culture is probably the one that has the biggest influence.

Finally, we have religious culture. If you follow a religion or not this culture still plays a part in your life. As a Christian- many things are seen through that lens in my life. It can merge with family culture but is a separate culture, especially when you live amongst a culture that is a majority NOT your religion/religious beliefs.

Marrying a Brit I hadn’t realised how different these cultures can be. I did marry someone with similar religious beliefs but even those have differences. We regularly realise how different our cultures are, even though we both “speak English.”

What is a cultural difference you have seen? Comment below! ⬇️

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STOP what you are doing and just take a second. Reground yourself. Notice things around you. Take a moment and think of one thing to be thankful for. Okay carry on- you got this mama- I believe in you! #mamabearuk #takeamoment #mindfulnessmom #mindfulnessmoment #justbreathe #thankfulgratefulblessed #groundyourself #worldaroundme #ibelieveinyou #inthistogether #neveralone

I believe we are lifetime learners but with the amount of sickness we have experienced over the last few weeks I have had enough! #sicksicksick #mamabearuk #momvideos #lifelessons

Anyone else try this life hack? It seemed to kinda work- not 100% sure what I was expecting but it did feel weird to have potatoes in my socks! #lifehack #potatoexperiment #potatoesinmysocks #wierdhealthhack #healthhack #experiments #letstrythings #mamabearuk #mamaissick

Always so cheeky! Do your kids wake in the night?!? #babysleep #imcominback #comingbackforyou #sleeplessnights #momlifebelike #mamabear #ineedsleep

Drama drama drama #hollywoodgossip #bestfriendtexts #passionatetexts #bestfriendgoals #dramadramadrama #conspiracytheory #itgetsrandom

I love my kids but miss sleep. Daylight savings is the worst. Anyone else with me? 🙋🏼‍♀️ #nosleep #daylightsavings #mamabear #kidswillbekids #kidsdontsleep #imtired #imisssleep #funnyreel #butitstrue

I love my kids but I also miss sleep. Anyone else struggling with daylight savings? 🙋🏼‍♀️ #daylightsavings #imisssleep #ilovemykids #taylorswift #itsmehiimtheproblemitsme #funnyvideos #honestparenting #honestyhour #imtired

Every couple of days I have to go through my phone and delete about 80 photos that my kids took of the most random things or a 79 photos of the same thing! Anyone delete a large amount of photos from their phone?!? #toddlerlife #momproblems #millionphotos #toddlerphotography #deletedeletedelete #justscrollingthroughpics #justscrolling #tellmewithouttellingme #beingatoddler #toddlermomlife

This kid surprise me everyday with his cleverness, quick wit, and kindness. I’m grateful to be his mama! #boymomma #mamabear #toddlerlifeishard #mommingit #godisgood🙏 #itsahardknocklife

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