Joe's FPS for PMS - Permanent Male Syndrome

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Joe's FPS for PMS - Permanent Male Syndrome

I'll play Cod Mobile and some Stadia FPS like Ghost Recon Wildlands & The Division 2

31/01/2023

https://auditorycenter.com/what-is-auditory-processing-disorder/acquired-apd-by-concussion-tbi/

Well that's a big bummer. I know I'm using Dr Google but it helps to educate yourself and ask questions.

31/01/2023

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Auditory_illusion

Plus I have hearing loss. I've been to a number of concerts including rock ones that left me near deaf for up to three days.

https://www.accuratehearingsystems.com/misunderstanding-words/

This sucks I'll admit. Life choices, life consequences.

https://publichealth.jhu.edu/2021/hearing-loss-and-the-dementia-connection #:~:text=If%20you%20have%20hearing%20loss,top%20risk%20factors%20for%20dementia.&text=Hearing%20loss%20can%20make%20the,and%20fill%20in%20the%20gaps.

That could explain my brain atrophy and they gave me a pre dementia test at the neurologist's. I got 75% i think and I have a shrunken hippocampus and brain and memory issues. I need Google maps more than I should. My 70 something year old father can get around better than me.

31/01/2023

That's too cold! It was probably 0 or less when I fell asleep. It's 4 am now.

31/01/2023

That's all I needed to know.

https://www.healthline.com/health/drugs/abilify-interactions #:~:text=Although%20there%20are%20no%20known,%2C%20restlessness%2C%20and%20sleep%20problems.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7397437/

Coffee is ok with abilify and it only messes with my other meds if I'm bipolar, which I'm not.

30/01/2023

https://www.cognitivefxusa.com/blog/pots-and-concussion-blood-pressure-changes

After my recent concussion I wonder if this is an issue because I know caffeine also messes with blood pressure which upsets people and since my TBI makes me moody sometimes anyway, why mess with that? Yes I drank a bunch of water which helps proper blood pressure.

https://neurosciencenews.com/anger-hypertension-20301/

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/3757994/

30/01/2023

Damn that's cold!

30/01/2023

https://activebeat.com/your-health/concussion-symptoms-how-do-i-know-if-i-have-a-concussion/?utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google_search_network&utm_campaign=AB_GGL_US_MOBI-EnglishSearch-CPM&utm_content=g_m_628002836778&utm_term=what+does+a+concussion+feel+like&placement=kwd-297929728979&utm_acid=6727840584&utm_caid=18420027799&utm_agid=141019044423&utm_os=&utm_pagetype=var-multi&device=m&gclid=Cj0KCQiA8t2eBhDeARIsAAVEga0JcQ8wB7P6omDNOou7Le_CXE4zWg1R1oDbQY8mgJ--dcq52YGMFagaArTzEALw_wcB

Sorry for the huge link. I did copy and paste. Yup, i had several of those symptoms and still have balance issues, sensitive to sound and get headaches. I don't like bright lights either. And I have sensitivity to people and have emotional outbursts etc. And TBI/concussions are cumulative. I have some brains left but I've been losing some call of duty games. Usually I win every time. I haven't been myself either. I'm sure the coffee doesn't help or maybe it's the concussion I had. I'm sure it's healing or mostly healed or maybe not but we'll see how it goes.

https://www.ptsd.va.gov/understand/related/tbi_ptsd.asp #:~:text=In%20addition%2C%20many%20people%20who,the%20effects%20could%20be%20serious.

I'm not supposed to use some medications after a brain injury? F**k me. I wonder which ones. I'm just googling, I'm not a Dr or veteran but I was in gifted education. I can often put things together. Even got in the 90s in my ASVAB and would have joined if not for my TBI. I hate having a TBI. Could have been a vet and a doctor.

30/01/2023

https://www.cognitivefxusa.com/blog/alcohol-caffeine-concussion-recovery

So basically caffeine isn't good for a TBI. Now I remember reading too that it puts too much intracranial pressure on the brain. Yay. And coffee can interact with certain meds. No bueno. That explains why Starbucks in a can turns me into an as***le.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20662451/

It doesn't increase pressure inside the skull I guess but I turn into an as***le with some types of coffee. I get a headache and my gut hurts like with tin can Starbucks from Smith's. It's probably just messing with meds and gut biome.

30/01/2023

https://www.flintrehab.com/hallucinations-after-head-injury/ #:~:text=The%20most%20common%20cause%20of,longer%20than%20true%20delirium%20does.

I recently had a car accident and have been under stress from my mom's heart attack and thought, with earbuds in, that neighbors were being a pain. Plus those things give me headaches. Possibly it's the sound. Sensory overload since TBI flooding is a thing and I'm listening to loud music.

The car accident gave me a concussion, a light one, and they're cumulative I'm told.

https://www.cdc.gov/traumaticbraininjury/concussion/repeated-head-impacts.html #:~:text=A%20person%20with%20a%20history,recovery%20or%20more%20severe%20symptoms&text=Have%20long%2Dterm%20problems%2C%20including,such%20as%20keeping%20one's%20balance

I've been having balance problems when walking sometimes. Sitting I'm ok and can even beat call of duty online but wow, I walk like a drunk sometimes for short periods like this early morning letting the dog out a couple of times. I'm praying I don't get in another wreck. It wasn't my fault and I was awarded a bit of money. The airbag went off and I still get headaches and my neck hurts sometimes.

30/01/2023

https://seermedical.com/blog/how-to-recognise-seizure/ #:~:text=Movement%20disorders%20%E2%80%94%20Tics%2C%20tremors%2C,disorders%20that%20affect%20the%20brain.

What if this is what I had instead of seizures?

Likely Weber human was aware I don't have regular seizures. Don't people have seizures even on meds?

30/01/2023

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1IOWniFmY6TMnkAZg5bzU14nkMbiYpvkv/view?usp=drivesdk

Seizures can happen after a concussion. I couldn't find if any can be temporary but I'm taking the max seizure medication. It's been a while since I've had grand mal, years, but I space out and stuff when I'm at home. It really pi**es off my sister who thinks I'm ignoring her. thank God I have a perfect driving record. If I'm doing something I don't space out. Like when I play video games and drive or do chores etc. But if I'm sitting I zone. Maybe it's not an absence seizure then but I do it involuntarily.

30/01/2023

https://www.menstclinic.com/blog/can-exercise-increase-your-testosterone #:~:text=Your%20testosterone%20levels%20rise%20after,as%20opposed%20to%20the%20morning.

Yup, it's the gym or the nut house. My meds won't work without good physical health.

30/01/2023

https://risemenshealth.com/tbi-ptsd-and-low-testosterone/ #:~:text=Close%20to%2080%25%20of%20men,brain%20injuries%20have%20on%20men.

I need to get treatment. I'll mention it to my doctor.

29/01/2023

My TBI didn't turn me gay but this medicine caused ED really bad and a complete lack of desire for women for the most part. They put me off and whenever they flirted in person I basically told them to go away. Yeah, lost opportunities. Now I'm on abilify and it is nicer. There's still some of the invega left in my system but there's more abilify and not nearly as much ED. Plus I'm starting to slowly desire women again. I just need to get over my shyness. I'm not as bad as before at least. Google this. "Brain injury increases risk of mental illness 400%" and yeah, protect your melon or you could wind up in jail or mentally ill or both. Jails are full of mentally ill people. It was interesting btw that the white guy that was with the Latin gang I called the cops on in the 90s asked if I wanted their protection. I remember now. Naw. Just call the cops if you see something and be a witness please. Sorry I got triggered. The past is the past and I can forgive the PTSD triggers. I know not all of you were that bad.

29/01/2023

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5198096/

I remember now that the homies looked out for me in jail so I dunno who that was in the mall being a pain other than the ones I called the cops on before I guess. But I think they saw I shared characteristics with autism, like the TV series "The Good Doctor." I'm high functioning and am prone to TBI flooding which is something I'll link to here. You can look it up on YouTube as well.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=M7VEuMNgQSU&feature=shares

TBI flooding is like sensory overload in autism and I didn't know I still had it that bad. I woke up feeling off yesterday and with a foggy memory. I'll mention that to my neurologist. Somehow I must have turned off my CPAP machine as well and took my mask off in my sleep. I've never done that before. That is so weird.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=j78G4Pr6C1o&feature=shares

The last link is a Ted Talks about how a TBI can turn you into a criminal. TBI and stroke have even turned people gay. I s**t you not.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=t1W7pz1FOgE&feature=shares

Google TBI personality change

29/01/2023

A throwback to when I worked for the in 2008. I shouldn't have left that job for IT. IT sucked and Hill was the best job I've had other than working at Weber State University. At least I got a letter of recommendation from my boss at Hill. I lost the original but not before I scanned it. I actually left it with an employer at an interview. TBI brain fog on my part. this might explain why gangs don't like me lol I had to get police involved one time in the 90s and should have in the 80s but I was clueless. I grew up pretty vulnerable. Yesterday walking in the mall with my sister I saw one of the gang guys I had the police chase off. He was white with a neck tattoo. The others were Hispanic. The mall is sometimes full of non friendly homies. They even bugged me in the bathroom. I saw cops scrambling to deal with them i think. They wear black and yellow and have guns. One of the homies wore a viva Mexico shirt with the Mexican flag on it. No wonder people don't like us Latinos!

24/01/2023

A few days ago I had Red Lobster with my brother. I had lobster and flounder and mushrooms stuffed with seafood. We shared some food and it was a good time.

19/01/2023

Why does everyone take my spot when I use the latrine? 😂 TBH it's cute. I gave her pets and the cat just relaxed.

19/01/2023

Can't even get up to use the bathroom and Orlando takes my spot.. The Manx was already sleeping with me. Orlando is the big white main c**n. I just petted him until I got sleepy and went downstairs to sleep on the couch. He's been getting lonely and affectionate lately and he's 12 years old. **nstagram

14/01/2023

She wanted to be petted rather than me texting. I complied.

14/01/2023

I'm not mad at China or TikTok for interfering with my phone function. I'm sure our Intel agencies do similar. It's not like I'm a war monger. Call of duty mobile is just a game. I also like Animal Crossing and Pokemon Go. I wouldn't mind visiting China someday. It's a beautiful country.

11/01/2023

It was snowing since last night as seen by the last photo. This morning when I let my dog out for potty, she came in covered in snow both times. The snow plows came around 4:30 AM. Thanks!

07/01/2023

Laika and Orlando hanging out together. Orlando is usually too grumpy to be close to Laika. **nstagram

03/01/2023

This cat just loves the heater! Some of my pets sleep with me because it's cold. That stops in summer unfortunately.

01/01/2023

Orlando my cat watching fireworks on TV with me. He finally got scared. It was a really good Japanese fireworks show. **nstagram

31/12/2022

My cat and dog sleeping with me. That reminds me, I should check to see if I have messages on Tumblr.

27/12/2022

With the recent multiple attacks to power grids, even though not by hackers, this is still a good book to read.

27/12/2022

My blue heeler mix, Laika, taking over my bed before I could make it.

25/12/2022

Pediatric Traumatic Brain Injury and Autism: Elucidating Shared Mechanisms
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5198096/

No wonder I thought I'm autistic. I have a TBI and they share mechanisms which are somewhat like symptoms I guess. Merry Christmas BTW.

13/12/2022

Self fulfilling prophecy is true. Be careful what you believe in.

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Videos

This is available on YouTube as well. Watch "call of duty Frontline MVP" on YouTube https://youtu.be/0UgkFUVNcCA #callofduty #callofdutymobile #codmobile #videogames #mobilegames #mobilegaming #cod #pixelgaming

I dedicate this MVP to Weber human services. I realized how hard they work when my prescriber set an appointment for 7:30 am. he's likely there much more before that preparing. that's dedication! #weberhumanservices #callofdutymobile #callofduty #videogames #mobilegames #mobilegaming #codmobile #cod

won MVP luckily and had fun. I died a few times. #videogames #mobilegames #mobilegaming #callofdutymobile #callofduty #codmobile #cod

used minimal power ups. This is a fun game. #videogames #callofduty #callofdutymobile #codmobile #cod #mobilegames #mobilegaming

i used the quick reload clip. it runs out too fast so likely switching back to extended clip. I made good use of the Goliath. #mobilegames #mobilegaming #callofduty #callofdutymobile #codmobile #cod #videogames

in real life those would be good tactics and it's a game with unwritten rules. saw a weapon I've never seen before. actually a couple. it was fun! #callofduty #callofdutymobile #codmobile #cod #videogames #mobilegames #mobilegaming

I'm realizing people follow organic, innate patterns. It's why we have the same rules in schools and same behavior by kids and same faults and strengths. People saying stuff to me etc isn't a conspiracy out to get me. In that the shrinks were right. It's a typical pattern but shrinks are assholes for nitpicking over details like that. Sanity = accuracy? That's an IQ test. That's eugenics. even if by accident it's eugenics on autopilot. Those pills and injections have side effects that affect procreation and your sex and social life. And there's that stigma. Who wants to date or marry "a nut job?" I think it's possible they're showing cognitive bias and don't realize they're being far from helpful. They're blindly following what's the norm and not thinking outside the box because their heads are full of data. It's false data presented in a convincing way and big pharma even pays ghost writers at times to write fake reviews saying how wonderful the meds work. Mine won't work well. I'm a smart ass when I'm normally meek. Slight chance that's the concussions incurring a personality change but I dunno. I didn't and go against the grain and tell them the meds aren't working in case they gave me a higher dose, per the norm in psychiatry. They're not working or messing you up? You're the problem so let's fix that by increasing the dosage. Maybe their methods improved and seem to have but I had these layers of walls put up from the past. And i also don't want to seem ungrateful especially when they got me out of jail when I didn't belong there. My public defender even said I belonged in a hospital and not in jail. #tbiawareness #tbisurvivor #tbicrime #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #brainwarriors #brainhealth #drdanielamen I think when I try to think intellectually like before that it agitates me and makes me a smart ass and sassy. Lol it's Time to relax. And I'm less accurate and not myself.

Happy New Year! #mobilegames #mobilegaming #videogames #callofduty #callofdutymobile #codmobile #cod

I played as a wolf gal or tracker and used the Goliath. #callofduty #callofdutymobile #videogames #mobilegames #mobilegaming #codmobile #cod

i need to play this more often for my brain atrophy. and read more. #videogames #callofduty #callofdutymobile #codmobile #cod #mobilegames #mobilegaming

I got MVP but check out that gun and avatar! wow! #mobilegames #mobilegaming #codmobile #callofduty #callofdutymobile #cod #videogames

I like this game! i have trouble focusing on reading because of my TBI but thank God I can still do this. there's also Animal Crossing Pocket Camp. it's so relaxing and cute! #callofdutymobile #callofduty #codmobile #cod #videogames #mobilegames #mobilegaming

Frontline is my sweet spot and favorite type of Call of Duty game. #callofduty #callofdutymobile #codmobile #cod #mobilegames #mobilegaming #videogames #samsungs21

I won by a wide margin. I should play more often. #callofdutymobile #callofduty #codmobile #cod #videogames #mobilegames #mobilegaming

I'm thinking i need to act on inspiration and live well, not try to talk like a leader but act and be humble. i think though good intentioned I've become a sort of blowhard. and it's draining. and stressful. I caught this at a program at the Mormon Tabernacle. you're not supposed to take video but I got a minute. it's a nice program/event.

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