15/12/2022
Almost 1 years ago, I fell into a black hole. My mental health, physical health, etc was at an all time low. I was gaining weight, I quit college, went back to FL, and continued to amp up the lifestyle of being “tootoasted” and been struggling since then. While I have the things that make me happy, as a whole, I haven’t actually been happy for a long time.
And I paid that price. Surrounding myself with the good things instead of taking responsibility. And it’s changed me a lot. Understanding inner struggle.
I’m tired of it, I miss the old way I used to do things. The feelings I used to have when I was happy and responsible. I miss my old mental health, my physical health, everything I was comfortable with.
It took a lot. Standing in the mirror looking at yourself and wondering what you did to yourself. Why did I do that? How did I do that?
I’ll never stop being T00Toasted. But on a personal level, being toasted caused me to throw my life away. And it took a long time to realize that.
Fortunately for me, it wasn’t much of seeing it, it was physically living the daily struggle of knowing everytime I was who I was, it was only hurting me more. And causing me to lose interest in the things I loved. Streaming, playing videogames, and even succeeding in school.
Since i’ve come to this full realization, there’s been a lot of support for it. And those that know, thank you. You truly mean the world to me. But it’s also a time for new potential growth in myself, in order to succeed the way I wanted too from the start.
I’ve recently started applying to college again, working on finishing what I started. I quit a job that was slowly killing me on the inside, and found something else that has brought me some really good opportunities and happiness. I’ve lost over 50 pounds since the start of the summer 2022 to finally feel comfortable in my own skin again.
I know this is a lot to read, but since streaming is my life, and you guys are my family, u deserve to at least understand why my streaming life has changed. And what I hope to accomplish.
If you made it this far, thank you for reading and understanding. I really do appreciate you all and hope to show you real progress in the near future.
Love Toast