The Rikshapur Times

12/12/2023

Many female ex-employees of our establishment have posted scathing words on social media about male TRP employees stealing their work and claiming it as theirs. And we are hurt.

We want to clarify that we follow a free and open system at TRP. Work does not "belong" to anyone here. We do not condone this colonial concept of "ownership".

Being a strictly feminist organization it's sad to see women regress to the same mindsets as that of White slavers and Britishers in 1800s.

On a lighter note, the women who have continued to work with us have received a 2 thousand rupees yearly bonus and are now allowed to have smoke breaks.

05/06/2023

Top 10 Jobs In The AI World by The Rikshapur Times

02/06/2023

"Bro I'm exuding a mysterious, shy, social anxiety-ridden vibe right now bro. Chicks really dig that, it's called the new sigma-male energy, I'm just like Sasuke"

01/06/2023

The number of women in education has gone up by 800% and the rate of males needing father figures has decreased by 500%

29/05/2023

Whether Army Wins or Imran does, Mulk Ke Loray Lag Gaye

25/05/2023

Please remember to send complete documents/certificates/photographs during applications for writing job. Thankyou

25/05/2023

Top 10 Reasons To Read The Rikshapur Times:

1) Cheapest propaganda rates (pak army please contact)
2) slightly misogynistic tone makes you feel right at home
3) underpaid writers' bitterness bleeds into articles, resulting in spicy drama
4) excessive fear mongering to give heart attacks to boomers, acting as outlet for repressed parental anger.
5) self-help articles for lonely men to cash in on JP/Tate audiences
6) progressive articles for lonely women to cash in on Marx/Tiktok audiences
7) liberal/left-bashing articles for lonely tradcels and millenials who've never read a book
8) science/rationality/ fedora fashion articles for lonely redditors and syed muzzamil shah audience
9) Cute cat videos
10) psychology articles for people who think this post is a cry for help

Anyways, Pak army zindabad !!!!!!!!!!

23/05/2023

Pakistan’s Finest Musician Forced to Endure Torturous Katy Perry Concert.

In an unfortunate turn of events, Sajjad Ali, Pakistan's highly acclaimed musician, found himself subjected to the ultimate test of his patience—a grueling experience known as the Katy Perry concert. Ali, a master of melody and a celebrated talent, had no choice but to endure the auditory assault inflicted upon him by the pop sensation.

We live in an absurd world where Katy Perry has never heard of Sajjad Ali.

23/05/2023

Opinion: I Will Watch Shehzad Ghias’s Podcast Only If He Stops Doing Comedy. https://rb.gy/m277e

I tune into the podcast to listen to the views of interesting guests, if I wanted to hear a "theatre" graduate from “Brooklyn College” make unfunny sexual innuendos and constant meme references, I’d go see Shehzad Ghias’ standup. His comedy reminds me of why I hate hanging out with my millennial cousins.

(The views presented in this article are solely those of the author and do not represent The Rikshapur Times’ views on the subject)

22/05/2023

Nation In Shock As Facebook Post Solves Kashmir Conflict. https://rb.gy/cvttu

Please consider clicking the link, it increases our website visitors or something, we don't really understand how the whole thing works (we're not very smart)

21/05/2023

‘My House is Your House,’ Says Auntie, Hides Pricey Vase Before Guests Arrive

Shahida Bibi, 56, greeted guests with the phrase, "My house is your house,". However, before guests arrived she stealthily stashed away her prized porcelain vase.

21/05/2023

'𝐌𝐲 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞,' 𝐒𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐀𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐞, 𝐇𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐲 𝐕𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐆𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐀𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞. https://rb.gy/owwn8

LAHORE – Local aunty, Shahida Bibi, 56, greeted guests with her arms wide open and the phrase, "My house is your house," echoing through her lavish drawing-room. However, sources confirmed that minutes before their arrival, she stealthily stashed away her prized porcelain vase.

"Usually, you can see the vase right next to her son's graduation photos," said her friend Faiza. "But as soon as she hears a car, she becomes like a spy, hiding the vase somewhere safe."

20/05/2023

“I Hate Men” Says Woman Who Will Fall In Love With Literally Anyone Nice To Her. https://rb.gy/m9eb9

KARACHI – A local woman, Saba Shah, known for her fierce declarations of man-hatred, has reportedly fallen head over heels for anyone demonstrating the slightest amount of kindness towards her, according to sources close to the contradictory romantic.

After publicly adopting the slogan “I Hate Men” on all her social media profiles, including her TikTok bio where she performs interpretive dances to songs about female empowerment, Saba has found herself in a series of peculiar romantic predicaments.

Saba’s previous love interests have included a man who helped her pick up dropped papers on the street, a Twitter user who ‘liked’ one of her retweets, and, controversially, a suspected bot on Instagram that complimented her smile. “Who knew that ‘HotSingleInYourArea123’ could be so charming?” Saba mused.

20/05/2023

“I hate men” Says Woman Who Will Fall In Love With Literally Anyone Nice To Her

Saba's previous love interests have included a Twitter user who 'liked' one of her retweets, and a suspected bot on Instagram that complimented her smile. "Who knew that 'HotSingleInYourArea123' could be so charming?" Saba mused.

19/05/2023

5 Reasons Why We Only Hire Women:

1) Not assertive enough to ask for a Raise
2) Will always put in 110% due to being raised in a shame-based people-pleasing culture.
3) good opportunity for us to meet girls, because left to their own devices they won't even look at us
4) Feminism is good
5 ) There are lakhs of them so if one leaves we can get 100 application in a week

19/05/2023

"When Pakistanis say something racist about Africans these days, it just so pitiful" says Mawuli, a Laotian. "We have literally started saying things like, 'At least we don't have it as bad as Pakistan..."

18/05/2023

Pakistan's #1 Most Lucrative Job For Students: Snatching Mobile Phones, Study Suggests

Given the financial situation in Karachi, local resident, Ahmed Pasha has found a nifty way to earn a living. "I can easily earn from 5- 10 lakhs per week doing this. I have bought my mother a new house and my dad a new 5000$ watch, times have never been this good!" says Pasha, spitting

18/05/2023

Hamid, 34, shared a meme to his Facebook profile this morning claiming to be a "Silly little guy". Nothing could be farther from the truth.

Hamid shared a meme to his Facebook profile this morning claiming to be a "Silly little guy". Nothing could be farther from the truth.