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Proper Mental Podcast

Normalising open and honest conversation about mental health by having open and honest conversations
(5)

24/06/2024

Ep. 189 is out now!

Alex Staniforth is an adventurer, speaker and the founder of Mind Over Mountains, a charity that brings together walking in nature, mindfulness & professional coaching and counselling in support of good mental health & wellbeing.

Alex was diagnosed with epilepsy at the age of nine and this would be the catalyst for several years of bullying, anxiety, panic attacks and a lifelong stammer.

He found that time in nature, and more specifically time on hills and mountains, helped his mental health and he was just 14 when he set his sights on climbing Mount Everest.

His first attempt, aged 18, ended when an avalanche in the Khumbu Icefall killed 16 climbing Sherpas.

During his second attempt, base camp was hit by the Nepal earthquake which killed 3 Sherpas in Alex’s team.

This led Alex to a long period of survivor’s guilt, depression and Alex also fell in to bulimia, which he was still dealing with when he set out to climb all of the highest peaks in the UK, in 72 days, with only a bicycle for transport.

We talk about all of that in this episode.

We also talk about dealing with failure, why it’s important to take on challenges and what we can learn from both these things and we chat about identity and what it was like for Alex when he was forced to step away from endurance challenges by long Covid and how he had to learn to do things differently.

Alex has done some incredible things in the name of mental health and gained some wonderful insight along the way. It was really cool to explore some of these things with him and we cover a lot in this conversation.

Out now in all the usual places!

23/06/2024

We went to see Inside Out 2 today.

It was brilliant!

To be honest, as a 42 year old man, I didn’t have feeling seen by a 13 year old girl in a Pixar movie on my bingo card for this year, but there you go.

It was a great depiction of what it’s like to have anxiety running the controls and I just think it’s an amazing way to teach both kids and parents about their thoughts and feelings.

A drum that I bang to death is how important it is to take ‘mental health’ out of the therapy rooms and the doctors offices and plant it smack down in the middle of day to day life.

That’s how we normalise this stuff and that’s how we break out of the advocacy echo chamber and reach the people who actually need to be reached.

If this can be done creatively and expressed in loads of different ways, then all the better. There needs to be something for everyone.

And if all of that can be brought together in a kid’s movie, that is also funny and emotive and daft and colourful, then that’s even better.

Because trying to navigate this stuff with my kids is a big challenge.

I’m scared to get it wrong, particularly as someone who has suffered and been broken several times, and I worry that if I get it wrong, they’ll end up like me and if I avoid it, they’ll end up like me.

I also think we don’t give our children enough credit when it comes to chatting about how they think and how they feel.

It often seems to me like my two already have a better understanding of it that I do. They are certainly better at expressing these emotions and letting them pass than I am, even if they don’t have the words for what’s going on.

I’m pretty much the opposite of that. I’ve got all the words and they can be a handy way of actually avoiding the feeling bit.

Complicated stuff.

Anyway, have you watched this yet? What did you think of it?

17/06/2024

Episode 188 is out now!

Jaxon Feeley is a Life and Mindset Coach, presenter, campaigner and TV personality.

Jax served in the military as an RAF Corporal for 4 years, which included a tour of Iraq, before joining MHP Hindley as a prison officer.

Throughout his life, Jax had been through plenty of mental health struggles but had always managed to pull through and distract himself through his work. Eventually things got to a point where he had to face these struggles head on and face some things that he had been ignoring since childhood.

Jax came out as transgender and made the decision to transition from female to male whilst still working at the prison. He served 3 years as a female officer, and 3 years as Jaxon.

Since leaving the prison service, Jax has been on a mission to advocate for the trans community and demonstrate the sort of visibility that he needed to see all those years ago.

In this episode I chat to Jax about his time in the military, some of the mental health struggles he faced through this time and how they ultimately led him to start questioning his gender identity.

We chat about showing up and being vulnerable, asking yourself difficult questions, living authentically, learning how to be your true self and his recent appearance on Channel 4’s Hunted.

Jax has an incredible story and it would have been really easy to make this a whole episode about gender but we had so much more to talk about!

Out now on all podcast platforms.

It’s a cracking conversation and it’s out now on all the usual podcast platforms!

15/06/2024

Two really lovely episodes recorded this week.

The first with Dave Lock who is otherwise known as The Running Telephone.

Dave and I chatted about why he’s ran 25 consecutive London Marathons and his special relationship with The Samaritans, both as a help line service user and volunteer.

I also had a lovely natter with Philippa Dawson about her show

He chatted about her experiences with ADHD, both before and after diagnosis, and the way her neurodiversity has impacted her mental health and how she see’s her place in the world.

Both of these conversations are up now for the Proper Mentalists over on the Patreon page and if you would like to join the community and support show, you can sign up on the link in my bio!

10/06/2024

Episode 187 is out now!

Chris Baker is a mentor, coach and public speaker.

Chris got into crime at a young age and spent a long time bouncing in and out of prison. He ended up losing an arm in a motorbike crash while being chased by police and this sent him into a spiral of depression and self-loathing and he was also sentenced to longer stretch inside.

Chris decided that he didn’t want to keep repeating this cycle and set out to make some changes. He started reading, working on himself and exploring Adverse Childhood Experiences studies and the links between childhood trauma and repeat offenders.

Now Chris works with prisons, schools and businesses delivering talks about his own experiences to promote resilience and inspire hope.

In this episode I chat to Chris about his early years growing up and how he started to get into trouble.

We chat about going to prison, why so many people can’t get out or stay out and what needs to change in the prison system, particularly with regards to mental health.

And we chat about losing an arm, losing identity, building resilience, lessons from fitness and making big changes.

Chris is doing important work and it was awesome to hear his story and how he got to where he is now.

Out now in all the usual places!

07/06/2024

Ep 186 is out now!

James McInerney is the creator of The Poetry Project.

James started off experimenting with words by writing out his thoughts and feelings to instrumental film scores and he found that expressing himself through poetry helped him navigate his way through depression.

After publishing several books, he launched The Poetry Project with the aim of spreading mental health awareness, throwing people in at the deep end and inspiring them to think, pause and reflect.

Since his first piece was displayed on a train station platform, the project has grown and James’ words have been displayed by some of the world’s biggest brands and in iconic locations all over the globe.

In this episode I chat to James about his experiences with depression and how these experiences led him to poetry.

We chat about the origins of The Poetry Project, how he got it started and how it’s grown and the impact his words have had.

We chat about creativity, self-expression, healthy distraction and why, when it comes to mental health awareness, it can be useful to throw people in at the deep end.

I stumbled across one of James’ poems in a Portland shopping mall last summer and it really was striking to see the word ‘depression’ in big letters on the wall in the middle of a huge shopping centre. I love anything that takes mental health outside of the usual clinical spaces and it was awesome to chat to James about his work and the impact that he’s having.

Out now on all podcast platforms.

pod.link/1558936731

06/06/2024

This week’s episode is a little late, partly because I went away on holiday and mostly because I came home without my laptop.

But it will be out in the morning and it’s an episode that’s been in the works for some time.

Last year I had the pleasure of spending a week in Portland, Oregon on official Proper Mental related business.

On the last day there, my wife and I were on a mission set by our kids, to pick up a load of YouTuber merchandise that apparently you can’t get in the UK.

We were in a shopping mall, losing interest in this task, and trying to work out what a ‘Lanky Box’ actually is, when I looked up and saw the word ‘depression’ on the wall.

Not what you’d expect to see on a wall in an American shopping mall but definitely the sort of thing that I would want to investigate.

Turns out it was one of poems, displayed as part of which was started by James to spread mental health awareness, which started with a poem displayed at his local train station and has since spread across the globe to be used in some iconic locations and by some of the world’s biggest brands.

I’m a huge believer in the importance of mental health being taken out of the doctor’s office or the therapy room and placed slap, bang in the middle of day-to-day life. And if this can be done with beautiful words and big splashes of colour and creativity, then that’s even better.

Most people who need to be more aware of mental health aren’t sat in waiting rooms, they are out and about in the world, going about their daily lives, and this sort of thing is how we reach them.

As soon as I saw James’ work in that mall, I knew we could have a lovely conversation about how it got there.

And I was right.

It’s episode 186 and it’s out tomorrow on all podcast platforms.

If you’d like to watch our chat, you can do exactly that by becoming a Proper Mentalist and joining the Patreon community on the link in my bio.

Whether you listen or watch, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this conversation!

27/05/2024

Ep. 185 is out today!

Dr. Gladys McGarey is a 103-year-old still-consulting doctor who is internationally recognised as the ‘Mother of Holistic Medicine’.

Dr Gladys was born in 1920 and grew up in India. She joined Women’s Medical College during the second world war and when she began practising, women couldn’t even have their own bank accounts.

Gladys co-founded the American Holistic Medical Association and she was the first physician to utilise acupuncture in the U.S.

In this episode I chat to Dr Gladys about her childhood in India, her early interest in healing and what it was like to be a female doctor when being a female doctor wasn’t a thing.

We chat about her approach to life, health and longevity. We chat about thinking holistically, finding purpose and claiming your voice and we chat about the 5 L’s that underpin Dr Gladys’ approach to a long and fulfilling life.

It was an absolute privilege to get the opportunity to speak to Dr Gladys and I can’t wait for you to hear our conversation!

Out now on all the usual podcast platforms!

pod.link/1558936731

20/05/2024

Episode 184 is out now!

Dr Louise Newson is a G.P, menopause specialist and member of the UK Government’s Menopause Taskforce who has been described as the ‘medic who kickstarted the menopause revolution.’

She is also an award-winning educator and author and regularly appears in the media as an expert in women’s hormone health.

In this episode I chat to Louise about menopause and perimenopause and how they can impact on mental health.

We chat about what the menopause is, signs and symptoms of being menopausal, the hormones involved and what happens both physically and mentally during this process.

And we chat about HRT, misdiagnosis and why it’s common for women to be incorrectly prescribed SSRI’s and the complicated discussion around mental health issues and hormones.

As you can imagine, I learned an incredible amount from this conversation and I definitely think that it would be very beneficial for men to understand this subject and how it impacts the women in their lives.

Out now in all the usual places!

pod.link/1558936731

16/05/2024

Episode 183 is out now!

Mark McGowan is an artist, taxi driver, educator and speaker who is more commonly known as The Artist Taxi Driver.

Mark discovered art as part of his mental health recovery when he was an inpatient. He uses the media, activism and mental health to create daily artworks.

Mark’s form of performance art over the years has included eating a swan in protest against royalty and the upper classes, he attempted to cartwheel 60 miles along Brighton beach in protest against diminishing coast lines and he has crawled for sixty miles, with a rose between his teeth, 18 boxes of chocolates tied to him and a sign on his back saying ‘Could You Love Me?’ this was to make people think about those who are alone at Christmas.

In this episode I chat to Mark about performance art and how he got started. We chat about self-expression, addiction, social media, the power of performance and all sorts of other things.

We also chat about the Live Lounge exhibition that Mark is curating at The Bethlem Gallery, what he’s got plans and some of the things happening there between now and July.

I really enjoyed chatting to Mark and I liked him a lot. We had a lovely netter and this conversation goes all over the place!

Out now in all the usual places.

pod.link/1558936731

09/05/2024

This week I delivered a talk about men’s mental health to the largest employer of qualified social workers in England.

This is what I talked about.

Terms like ‘masculinity’ and ‘patriarchy’ are often suggested as the roots of the men’s mental health crisis and while they are important to understand, they don’t mean a great deal. They are vague and they don’t account for individual environment or life experiences. Where should we be looking if we want to understand men’s mental health? How do we start to ask better questions?

I believe that men actually do talk about their mental health, so if that’s the case what gets in the way of men opening up and having these conversations?

Everybody has a role to play in men’s mental health. What can you do to support the men in your life?

How to advertise yourself as a safe space and open up conversations by going first.

The ‘everydayness’ of struggle and the role of society, environment and conditioning. Some aspects of this are too big to change so what can we do to balance them out?

The role of compassion in men’s mental health. Why is it so important?

Signposting. Why you need to know what help is available, where to get this information and how to pass it on.

The sphere of influence and closing the gaps that men keep falling down.

Here's what they thought of it.

“I thought Tom was excellent - a natural communicator and made lots of great points including the organisations he suggested people can be signposted too. Really good.”

“Thank you so much, that was so refreshing to hear your experiences so openly.”

“Thank you for sharing your experiences, Tom, a great session and so many services that we weren’t aware of.”

“Great session Tom. Your vulnerability on this was really helpful in hopefully letting others see that they’re not proper mental.”

“I love him!”

“Really insightful and useful.”

06/05/2024

Episode 182 is out now!

DJ Paulette is a renowned DJ, radio broadcaster and author who has spent more than three decades entertaining crowds all over world and breaking down racial and gender barriers along the way.

She was the first female DJ to hold residency at The Hacienda, and went on to have residencies at Heaven and Ministry of Sound, before serving successful stints in Paris and Ibiza.

Her debut book ‘Welcome to The Club: The life and lessons of a black woman DJ’ was published earlier this year to huge acclaim.

In this episode I chat to DJ Paulette about the mental health challenges she has faced throughout her life.

We chat about dance music, hedonism and burnout and we chat about breaking down, breaking through, asking for help and just how vital music and community are to mental wellbeing.

DJ Paulette is a true icon of the dance music scene and it was wonderful to be a part of this conversation! From the moment I pressed record we just got into it and this chat goes to some really deep and lovely places.

Out now in all the usual podcast places!

pod.link/1558936731

29/04/2024

Episode 181 is out today!

Amelia Wrighton is the co-founder and CEO of
Su***de&Co a charity that is on a mission to support bereaved individuals and open the conversation around su***de-related grief.

Amelia set up Su***de & Co. with Emma Morrisroe after they met at work and realised that they shared the same experience of losing someone to su***de.

The charity provides one-on-one professional support through talking therapies and a Helpline that is staffed by bereavement counsellors as well as providing all sorts of resources and initiatives to spark conversations and encourage conversations around bereavement from su***de.

In this episode I chat to Amelia about her own tragic loss, the impact it had and how that led to eventually setting up this incredible charity.

We chat about some of the complexities around this very specific type of grief, about using the right words, the importance of knowing how to have conversations about su***de related grief.

It was wonderful to chat to Amelia, to hear about the incredible work that her team are doing and learn more about how to have difficult but important conversations.

Out now on all platforms!

25/04/2024

The conversation I had this evening will go down as one of my most cherished episodes of Proper Mental.

I had the absolute honour of chatting to Dr. Gladys McGarey, who is the daughter of two medical missionaries in India and is internationally recognised as the 103-year-old Mother of Holistic Medicine.

In 1970, she co-founded the American Holistic Association in Scottsdale, Arizona, where she pioneered the integration of allopathic and holistic medical practices, laying the groundwork for the cultural shift that recognises alternative and holistic medical modalities.

We had an incredible chat about her childhood in the jungle in Northern India, the culture shock of moving to the states at 15 and going to medical school during the second world war.

We talked about the ‘5 L’s’ that form the foundation of Gladys’ work and we talked about movement, love, compassion and community.

It was a privilege to speak with Dr Gladys. Her life in healing and the wisdom and knowledge she has gained through her 103 years is nothing short of inspirational.

You can watch our conversation, and many other unreleased episodes, by becoming a Proper Mentalist and joining the Patreon community.

The support of the Patreon community helps to keep the show independent and advert free and allows me to get these conversations in to the ears of the people who need to hear them.

www.Patreon.com/propermentalpodcast

23/04/2024

Episode 180 is out now!

Andrew Jenkins is a mental health advocate, speaker and star of the hit BBC series The Traitors.

At the age of 21, Andrew was in a car accident that left him pronounced dead at the side of the road.

He spent 5 weeks in a coma and when he woke up, was told that he might not recognise his family or be able to walk.

The impact that this had on his sense of self, his identity and his life in general would lead to more struggles with mental ill health for the next 20 odd years before Andrew was able to get some help and guidance with his mental state and begin to grieve for the life that he believed he had lost.

In this episode I chat to Andrew about his life growing up in Wales before the crash and the immediate aftermath.

We chat about the impact that this event had on his mental health and why he suffered in silence for so many years.

And we chat about how he got help, got better and how this is driving him to do the work that he does now and the impact that this is all having.

Of course, we chat all about The Traitors and about men’s mental health, grief, building self-awareness, how hard it can be to tell your family that you love them but why it’s so, so important.

Andrew is a lovely guy who is determined to make a real difference in the mental health space and he’s been doing incredible work since being on the tele earlier this year. It was really lovely to chat to him all about it!

Out now on all podcast platforms!

15/04/2024

Episode 179 is out now!

3 Dads Walking are Tim, Mike & Andy; 3 su***de-bereaved dads walking in memory of their daughters, Emily, Beth & Sophie.

In 2021 they walked 300 miles between their 3 homes, to highlight the fact that su***de is the biggest killer of young people across the entire UK.

In 2022 they set off again, this time walking between the parliaments of the 4 nations, petitioning the Government to make su***de prevention a compulsory part of the school curriculum.

Along the way they have raised more than 1 million pounds for PAPYRUS Prevention of Young Su***de a UK charity dedicated to the prevention of su***de and the promotion of positive mental health and emotional wellbeing in young people.

This year, they will be undertaking the Walk of Hope, covering 500 miles and visiting newly opened offices of PAPYRUS, many of which have been set up thanks to the dads’ fundraising efforts.

What The 3 Dads have achieved over the last few years is nothing short of incredible and this episode is both heartbreaking and heart walking and everything in between.

It was an honour to chat to Tim, Mike and Andy. They speak so openly and warmly and I found our chat incredibly moving but a lot of fun too!

Our conversation is out now in all the usual podcast places!

pod.link/1558936731

11/04/2024

Ep 178 is out now!

Hannah the Runner is a mother, a runner, a writer, speaker and trainee psychotherapist.

Han is a returning guest and first appeared on Proper Mental back at episode 110.

In that episode we covered her early experiences with OCD, her relationship with alcohol, getting sober and hitting crisis point shortly after.

I reached out to Han to invite her back on for a specific conversation.

For episode 177 I spoke to Joe Griffin who is a psychologist and co-founder of the Human Givens approach to psychotherapy. It was a wonderful conversation and I was very taken both with Joe and the approach to therapy that he co-created.

I wanted to chat to someone who has worked with Human Givens as a therapist and someone who has experienced the other side and received this type of therapy.

Hannah Phillips is both. After coming within hours of taking her own life, Han was referred to a Human Givens therapist and she credits these sessions with both saving, then changing her life. After getting back on her feet, she began training to be a Human Given therapist.

In this episode Hannah and I chat about the therapy that she received and how it helped. We chat about the courses she has been doing and how she is implementing everything that she’s been learning.

We also chat about the work she is doing around men’s mental health in her local community and her upcoming ultramarathon.

Hannah is one of my favourite people and a constant source of inspiration for me. It was wonderful to have her back on the podcast!

09/04/2024

Episode 177 is out now!

Joe Griffin is a psychologist and co-founder of the Human Givens approach.

Human Givens’ is a practical, holistic and scientific approach to therapy that focuses on what individuals need to live mentally healthy and fulfilling lives.

It draws on the latest insights from neuroscience and psychological research, and combines this knowledge with proven therapeutic techniques from a wide range of approaches to provide highly effective interventions.

Joe has many years of experience in both psychotherapeutic practice and in training psychotherapists and in this episode, I chat to him about how he started working in this field and how this work led to the creation of Human Givens.

At the core of the Human Givens framework is the idea that all humans have a set of 9 emotional needs and when these needs aren’t met, it can lead to mental ill health.

Joe and I chat about the 9 emotional needs, what they are and what gets in the way of these needs being met.

We chat about the cycle of depression, the role of metaphor and storytelling in the healing process and about how sleep ties all this together.

This episode is filled with actionable ideas and gave me so much to think about! Joe was incredible to chat to and a lot of fun too, it really was a privilege to chat to him and this is definitely one of my favourite episodes to date!

Out now on all podcast platforms!

09/04/2024

Ep 176 with Vince Freeman is out now!

In this episode I chat to Vince Freeman about the incredible, 10 year back story that has led to his debut record, ‘Scars, Ghosts & Glory’ which is out in June.

We chat about his introduction to music and how he started writing songs and we chat about chasing fame, going on the voice, losing several years to a couple of compressed discs and 3 spinal surgeries and the impact these things have had on his mental health along the way.

And we chat about how the pandemic forced a temporary career change and how making a coffee and a chance encounter led to his return to music and a debut album that has been a decade in the making.

It’s an incredible story with a wonderful ending. Vince is a lovely man and is so deserving of everything he’s got going on!

Episode 176 is out now in all the usual places!

02/04/2024

Episode 175 is out now!

AB Runs is an ultrarunner, coach and author.

Allie has finished over 200 marathons and ultramarathons in some of the most extreme places in the world and she ran most of them while battling depression and alcoholism.

For many years Allie had a dream career in the music industry, working with major record labels and meeting some of the world’s biggest bands. Throughout this time, she was also struggling with mental illness and alcohol addiction and originally started running to help her mental state.

Running didn’t save Allie but it started to become a big part of her life. After reaching another crisis point in 2021, she was forced to admit the depth of her problems and start to work on getting better.

In this episode I chat to Allie about her relationship with alcohol, how it started, how it helped and how it started to wrong.
We chat about her journey to finding running and how it didn’t save but her did give her the time and space to start making sense of her mental health.

And we chat about recovery and what it looks like for her, the ultrarunning community, the music industry, some of her incredible running challenges and what it was like to revisit some incredibly dark moments to write her book ‘There is No Wall’.

It was awesome to chat to Allie! She has spent so much time working on herself and has an incredible amount of self-awareness, I really took a lot from this episode.

Out now in all the usual places!

25/03/2024

Episode 174 is out now!

Paul Danan is an actor and the creator of Morning After Drama.

Paul attended a prestigious drama school and landed a part in Hollyoaks straight after leaving. He has gone to work on a huge variety of stage and screen projects and a whole host of well-known reality TV shows.

Over the course of his career, Paul has suffered with mental issues, problems with addiction and had multiple stays in rehab.

All of this has led him to starting Morning After Drama (MAD) which is a theatre company that provides specifically tailored workshops to support people who have experienced trauma, been involved with the criminal justice system, suffered from addiction or experience poor mental health.

In this episode I chat to Paul about his time on Hollyoaks and the effect that instant fame had on his life at that time.

We chat about his move to LA, his love of acting and some of the mental health issues behind his addictions.

We chat about ADHD, rehab, depression and the power of acting, improv and community in supporting mental health.

Paul is such a lovely guy! It was an absolute pleasure to chat with him and explore the wonderful work he’s doing with MAD and get some insight into the stories and experiences behind it.

Our conversation is out now on all podcast platforms!

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Ep 185 with Dr Gladys McGarey is out now ❤️ #mentalhealthpodcast

Ep 184 is all about the perimenopause and the menopause and mental health. Out now!

Episode 182 with DJ Paulette is out now! #mentalhealthpodcast

Episode 180 with Andrew from The Traitors is out now! #mensmentalhealth

Ep 177 with Joe Griffin, co-founder of Human Givens is out now ❤️ #podcastrecommendations

The life and times of Vince Freeman Ep 176 is out now! #mentalhealthpodcast

Ultra running and alcohol with AB Runs Episode 176 is out now! #mentalhealthpodcast

Ep. 174 with Paul Danan is out now! Hollyoaks, acting, addiction, rehab, ADHD and supporting others with his mental health theatre company Morning After Drama! #mentalhealthpodcast

Out Now! Episode 173 with Gulwali Passarlay #mentalhealthpodcast

Ep. 173 with Gulwali Passarlay is out now! #mentalhealthpodcast

Ep 172 with Bill Ryder-Jones is out now ❤️ #mentalhealthpodcast

Episode 172 with Bill Ryder-Jones is out now! ❤️

Episode 171 is out now! Dads mental health, post natal depression, supporting loved ones and the importance of local community with Mark Williams! #mentalhealthpodcast