26/12/2023
When a woman values her career identity more than her feminine identity, it's usually a sign of trouble in paradise. If she puts her identity as a boss, director, or business owner ahead of feminine roles like a lovely lady, a doting mother, and a cherished wife, it's because she has suffered betrayal.
Perhaps she was neglected by a parent or a lover at a critical time of need and vulnerability. Instead of seeing that act as a personal choice of those who left her stranded, she generalized it and made it an entire philosophy. 'The whole world is unsafe. Nobody is reliable. I am by myself. I will never depend on anyone again.'
And so her push for career success has another secret mission that many people mistake for a healthy self reliance. She wants to succeed so that she will never need any man or risk being let down.
As a result, the more she rises, the further she cuts herself away from relationships.
She becomes masculine and stressed. Why? Because she is abandoning her inner being. She is not present with her body. She is not restful and trusting.
Rather, she is competitive, assertive, and intellectual. She lives in her head, and she's alienated from the feelings of her heart. She forgets how to glow in her beauty, and instead, she masters how to flex her muscles.
This hyper independence repels healthy men because she sends the message that she doesn't want to be looked after. The last time she allowed someone to take care of her, she was betrayed.
As a result, she attracts the feminised man. The man who is not as confident as a man. One who is dependent and looking to be taken care of. Besides his male frame, there's nothing else male about him. He lives for pleasure, and he uses love as an entry point just to become a parasite in a woman's life. Getting a child with her is a permanent hook that plants him in her life. He's landed a fat prey.
The woman, on the other hand, has reached the peak of her pathology, and she feels defeated. She's in control like she has always wanted. But she also feels alone, unloved, unseen, burdened.
There's no space in her life for a healthy man to take over leadership because she can not allow it. The man she brought in can not lead. It's a reversed role situation
What's the solution? Do not allow trauma to define your life. Do not allow past pain to alienate you from your feminine identity. It is better to unpack your past and put it into perspective than letting it spread into your whole being. Not all people are like the ones who first left.
Shouldn't you still build your career and become self-reliant? Sure, you should. But it should be for the right reason of self-expression and growth. It should not be an attempt to prove your past wrong. It shouldn't be an insulation against men and being vulnerable.
If you build a vast empire but you're still receptive to love, open to affection from men, and at rest in your femaleness, you have won the game of life.
You can work hard at your job while you're still soft and sweet. You can excel at your career when you're still approachable and easy. You can maintain healthy standards as a woman without becoming tough and aggressive.
In short, you can play roles in the marketplace without losing your identity.
