Hopestream

16/05/2023

New on the pod - oof, its a big on this week friends!

I am so grateful to share this conversation with you all today - Brenda Zane from Hopestream is on with me today to talk about how to be with our kids and their substance use.

For many kids, novelty seeking during the teen years moves them towards trying out things we parents hope that they would just stay away from - ni****ne, w**d, alcohol and more. Lots of kids abstain, many kids experiment, some kids use regularly, and a few end up on the road of addiction. Brenda's work and community centers families who have teens in active addiction or recovery.

Highlights of our conversation include:

★ Novelty seeking as part of teenage brain development
★ Substance use & responding as a parent
★ Alcohol & ma*****na use
★ Covid, anxiety, isolation, & devices affecting drug use
★ Experimenting vs. problematic use
★ Uncomfortable conversations & coming from a place of curiosity
★ Drug use as a solution for a problem you don’t know about
★ How confrontational, punitive approaches do not work
★ Information as harm reduction
★ Information about fentanyl & overdoses

It is important for you to listen to this conversation. If your child is in middle school or older, the information provided is relevant. We have to show up for our teens and let them know we can talk about the hard stuff... that we can LISTEN to the hard stuff and hold space for what comes up. WE CAN NOT HAVE OUR HEADS IN THE SAND ON THIS. Our teens need us.

Listen to this show now by clicking the link in my bio, going to https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-378-brenda-zane-how-to-be-with-teen-substance-use/, or searching for "joyful courage podcast" in whatever app you use to listen to podcasts. Can't wait to hear what you think!

15/09/2022

Dr. Gabor Maté on The Myth of Normal; The Roots Of Our Kids’ Struggles, Pressure On Today’s Parents, The Need For Community, And A Path To Healing

Are you ready for a deeply personal and thought-provoking hour? Dr. Gabor Maté is well known for his unflinching look at childhood trauma and how it manifests in our lives, and he does not disappoint in this raw, honest, and candid conversation. I'm even the recipient of an impromptu therapy session looking at my parenting and childhood patterns, an essential piece of work to do when our kids and underlying family dynamics struggle.

Dr. Maté's newest book, The Myth of Normal, explores themes around our unmet needs, their relationship to pain, and how we adapt to that pain to survive. As parents, it can be uncomfortable looking at ourselves as we work to heal our families and understand our kids' pain and suffering. He also shares the proven connection between repressed emotions and chronic illnesses - and ways we can begin to heal - ourselves and our families.

We cover critical topics like;

> caregiver stress,
> the sensitive child,
> parental guilt,
> a new view of ADD, ADHD and ODD diagnosis.
> generational trauma
> women's role in society as "shock absorbers."
> the incongruity of the "tough love" concept,
> the need for a return to the communal approach to parenting,
> and two vitally interconnected needs our kids have - attachment and authenticity
> plus so much more

It’s a do-not-miss episode that may shed new light on some dark areas you’ve been pondering about yourself and your child who’s struggling.

09/07/2022

Parenting in the Real World: 5 Moms Share The Key Lessons Learned From Parenting Kids Who Are Misusing Drugs & Alcohol
No matter where you are on the journey with a child misusing substances, chances are you've faced two very dangerous lies:

1. that you've failed as a parent, and/or
2. that you're absolutely alone in the fight for your child

In this week's Hopestream episode I have the honor of introducing you to five incredible women who, together in The Stream Community, have faced these lies and additional terrifying moments in parenting. They were generous enough to tell their stories which are all individually unique, and yet they're all known and understood by one another. These moms also share their biggest ah-ha moments with you, which you won't want to miss.

02/06/2022

Episode 116 is out...A Harm Reduction Approach To Risky Behavior In Teens And Young Adults, With Dee Dee Stout

When your son or daughter refuses or can't seem to embrace abstinence, what do you do? Harm reduction is an approach that can help navigate your child to safer territory and...it's confusing .

Dee Dee Stout is someone Psychology Today includes in their list of "the top 10 harm reduction names you should know" so I was thrilled she agreed to come back for a second episode of Hopestream.

We dove into:
what harm reduction is and isn't,
how we can strengthen relationships with our kids when they're misusing substances,
how to have better conversations,
how to improve our family dynamics,
lapses and the dreaded pre-lapse
AA's stance on medication for addiction treatment (MAT)
and her answer to a common question parents have, " when does harm reduction become enabling with my child?"

It's a hugely informative episode with one of the foremost leaders in the field of harm reduction. Listen wherever you get your podcasts or right here on Facebook Mobile 🎧

16/05/2022

Have you heard about CRAFT?⁠
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CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training) is an evidence-based approach to motivating and inviting someone to make changes in their behavior. ⁠
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It's proven to be an effective way for parents to help their kids who are misusing drugs or alcohol, and is easily accessible to learn and put into practice.⁠
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In this week's Hopestream episode, I invited CRAFT-certified therapist Erica Lubetkin, LMHC to join me to answer common questions parents have about using CRAFT in the real world. ⁠

Listen wherever you get your podcasts or right here on Facebook (mobile) 🎧

28/04/2022

You've likely seen the A&E show "Intervention" where families work with a professional team to encourage a loved one to go to drug or alcohol treatment, and wondered how much of that is reality vs. Hollywood show.

In this episode, you'll hear from Heather Hayes who's been an interventionist on the show, is a Master's Level Licensed Counselor, Board Certified Interventionist (CIP) and Certified Arise Interventionist. She brings 40 years of experience in the field of addiction and mental health to this very important conversation.

This episode will be helpful if you've questioned what it could be like to take the step of an intervention or of hiring someone to transport your son or daughter to treatment. It's a daunting and scary consideration for most parents and understandably so.

Listen wherever you get your podcasts, or right here on Facebook mobile 🎧

27/04/2022

What a special conversation I got to have for this week's episode of Hopestream ✨⁠
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Dr. Anna Lembke and I sat down and talked all things adolescents, dopamine, pleasure, pain and lots in between. ⁠
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Her most recent book, Dopamine Nation is a fantastic read if you want to understand more about the science of the brain, addiction, and why we (and our kids) do the things we do.⁠
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We also talk about the endless pursuit of instant pleasure our society has adopted and why that's so dangerous.⁠
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It's an incredible discussion so listen right here in Facebook (mobile only) or find it wherever you listen to your podcasts 🎧

14/04/2022

The emotional distress a parent feels when their child is struggling with or addicted to drugs or alcohol is incomprehensible to the average person. ⁠
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It can begin to debilitate you in ways that impact your day-to-day ability to cope, your health, career, friendships, and family relationships.⁠
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Through the lens of the second arrow principal, I share ways that parents can minimize their suffering, anxiety, emotional anguish and isolation while their child is actively engaged in misusing substances, or in the early and sometimes fragile days of recovery. ⁠
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I share a recent experience where I used some emotional self-regulation tools to dodge the second arrow coming my way and give you 10+ simple and practical ideas for reducing your suffering.⁠
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It's a snack-sized episode so if you need a quick walk or have an errand to run, this is the perfect episode for today. Tap on podcasts here in our page to listen right in Facebook 🎧

08/04/2022

Surviving The Perfect Storm Of Challenging Kids, Aging And Menopause; This One's For The Mommas, with Dr. Robin Sinclair, ND

It's a cruel twist that just as we moms enter the perimenopause and menopausal phase of life, our kids are at the age when they may be experimenting with or addicted to drugs or alcohol.

This combo is the perfect storm of hormones, uncertainty, and emotions, and we're often not well equipped to manage it well.

Dr. Sinclair helps us understand why we may be feeling exhausted, gaining weight, not sleeping, have brain fog and are just plain moody. She also shares her thoughts on why it's so important for women to take excellent care of themselves, especially as we age.

31/03/2022

If there's a perfect storm of complexity and confusion for parents of adolescents and young adults it's the intersection of a mental health condition, neurodiversity, substance use and gender identity. It's overwhelming to know which aspect of these to address first, or do you address them all at once?

Sean Garcia is a licensed therapist in Northern California and is one of a handful of trans-identified clinicians in Silicon Valley. He is extremely passionate about supporting transgender people and their families and we dove deep into how he does that, in particular with young people.

Sean shares his own experience of coming out to his family and painfully delayed transition, which caused him to spend many years chronically ill, and overachieving in order to validate to the world that he was "ok."

In this episode, you'll hear so much that will help if you're the parent of a young person struggling with any, or all of these life challenges. Listen right here on Facebook!

18/02/2022

Find pre-made playlists of episodes on topics like CRAFT, siblings, recovery and the top 10 most downloaded shows!

17/02/2022

Dr. Brad Reedy is a household name in the world of adolescent mental health and substance use treatment, is founder of a well-respected wilderness therapy program, Evoke, author of two books on parenting, and podcast host of over 450 episodes of Finding You, so sitting down and chatting was quite an honor.

Dr. Reedy and I talked about a wide range of topics mostly focused on a parent's way of being and how he helps parents in their search for being better for their kids. We talked about:

✔️ why he doesn't prescribe actions for parents to take with their kids,
✔️ what healthy attachment actually is,
✔️ the backstory on why he chose to become a therapist and work with young people,
✔️ the question parents never ask him,
✔️ how he can tell when a parent starts to "get it" and are on the path to more conscious parenting
✔️ a lightbulb moment he had with his therapist
✔️ what it means for parents to "do their work"
✔️ and his thoughts on the long-term impact of COVID on our kids

It's a very special episode with a very special guest!

11/02/2022

Hopestream episode 100 ✨

In the past 2 years, I've had the privilege of speaking with over 50 of the top experts in the fields of psychology, addiction, adolescents, parenting, and specific treatment modalities.

I've asked the hard questions, listened with curiosity, and dug deep to find the right people to help parents who have a child experimenting with or addicted to drugs or alcohol.

Through the 99 episodes I've created since January of 2020, there are 11 insights and truths that have risen to the top over and over - transformational findings I believe to be instrumental in helping you as a parent of one of these special kids, and in helping your child as well.

In this episode, I share those 11 key observations and resources for learning more about them. You'll find a downloadable PDF with each insight and the resources linked at www.brendazane.com/100.

18/01/2022

If you like the podcast, wait till you join us after the episodes!

We're announcing two new plans in our membership, The Stream, for moms of kids struggling with substance use and addiction. More to come...

13/01/2022

Relapse is one of the most dreaded and painful experiences to watch your child go through, and this episode will be incredibly helpful if you want to find new and more positive approaches to the challenge.

Erica Lubetkin is a therapist who is certified in CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training) and shares her insights and ideas on how parents can be better equipped to deal with a lapse or full relapse with their teen or young adult child.

We discuss a range of topics including:

What exactly is CRAFT and what's different about a CRAFT vs traditional approach?
How do you use CRAFT with someone who's struggling with substances?
The painful reality of relapse and what a CRAFT response looks like
Relapse prevention plans, what they are and how they can be used but parents as well as the young person who's struggling
How can you respond when you learn about a relapse without causing drama and defensiveness?
What does self-care have to do with navigating a relapse?
Dealing with "waiting for the other shoe to drop" syndrome - tips and tricks for when they're doing ok but you're not
..and more great stuff

This is an informative and practical episode that will give you ideas and tips to try immediately if you're in the moment, and ways to plan if you're being proactive while your child is doing well.

Listen right here on Facebook (mobile) - from the Hopestream page just tap on Podcasts to find it, or grab it wherever you get your podcasts 🎧

06/01/2022

New Episode is live 🎧

Calling all the dads…this one’s for you. Dads go through their own unique challenges when their son or daughter is struggling with mental health and substance misuse, and I had the chance to talk all about it with experienced dad turned podcaster and parent coach, Andy Goldstrom.

You'll hear how Andy navigated a busy career and his marriage while working to find help and resources for his daughter who was misusing substances. As he tells it, he didn't start off so well but over time, and with a coach, learned what his daughter really needed. It's a great episode to share with the man in your life - right after you listen 😏

We talk about how traditional men and women's roles can hinder the process of helping a child, how guys might approach the problem differently than their female counterpart and Andy's advice for any dad who's in the thick of it right now.

Andy was honest and vulnerable in our conversation - a trait he says doesn't necessarily come easy to guys when their child is hurting. It's a must-listen - and must-share - episode. Grab it wherever you get your podcasts or right here under the "Podcasts" tab!

30/12/2021

It's a wrap! 🎊

2021 held so many amazing and frustrating things so to send the year out with a bang, I gathered up some of the most downloaded episodes of Hopestream and have put together a compilation for you.

These 10 episode snippets will give you a good foundation for themes of 2021 and may pique your interest to learn more by listening to the whole episode. Here's the incredible line-up of folks you'll hear from:

0:54 personal welcome, update and show overview

4:39 Segment One: Dr. Nzinga Harrison on the realities of ma*****na and how to have a real conversation with your kids about it

19:33 Segment Two: Dee Dee Stout on harm reduction and CRAFT (plus a role-play!) (explicit)

29:39 Segment Three: Owen Fielding on the NET device that's getting people off substances without cravings or withdrawal

36:58 Segment Four: Wes Robins, Eternal Strength Therapeutic Youth Center on a parent's work (explicit)

42:19 Segment Five: Derek Bowles, Crossroads Academy on what kids really want, and a perspective on fentanyl

48:39 Segment Six: Dr. Mark McConville on parenting young adults and teens when they're stuck or refusing to grow up

52:37 Segment Seven: Rebekah Tayebi on resilience and the parent's role when your child goes to treatment

59:12 Segment Eight: Solo episode with Brenda: Two of the four counterintuitive things you can do when you're overwhelmed by your child's substance use and mental health issues

1:04:53 Segment Nine: Denise Pope, Ph.D., Stanford Univ. on the dangers of having a stressed-out teen or young adult child and things you can do to help

1:09:05 Segment Ten: Dr. Nicole Kosanke and Krissy Pozatek on how to help your other kids when one is misusing drugs or alcohol

23/12/2021

If you only listen to one podcast episode between now and 2022 make it this one.

Parents are often in the dark about the very real, present, and lurking killer that's right in their kid's backpack or coat pocket.

Pills labeled Oxy, Percocet, or Xanax, but which are illegal fentanyl, in doses high enough to kill several people.

In this extremely important episode I cover what's actually going on with fentanyl and the impact it's having on people under the age of 30. I talk about the four very common beliefs parents have about this substance and why that could be the very thing that ends their child's life.

I do not hold back, I can't - because we're losing too many precious lives every day - over 275 a day to be exact. Please listen and share as widely as possible, someone may act on the information and save someone they love from dying of unintended fentanyl poisoning.

Dedicated to Graham David Wicker, 12/02 - 6/21 🖤

17/12/2021

Coaching Episode #2: Dealing With Manipulation, Parenting Paralysis, and Feeling Guilty About Holding Boundaries

In this episode, I have the honor of coaching Cheryl as she deals with manipulation from her son who is in a residential treatment program, and her struggles with guilt around holding boundaries in her family. She also talks about "parenting paralysis" which happens when she's feeling overwhelmed, unsure and stuck.

Cheryl was brutally honest about her struggles with her son as he's transitioned from a wilderness therapy program to a residential treatment center, and how it's impacted her entire family. She discovers that sometimes, going back to things that have worked in the past can lead you to a new solution.

You'll hear Cheryl's lightbulb moment and how being part of a community has transformed her life, attitude, and ability to navigate this challenging season with confidence and hope.

11/12/2021

🔥 new Hopestream episode is live

Ryan Hampton, Author & Activist, Reveals the Truth From Inside the Purdue Pharma Bankruptcy In His New Book, Unsettled: How the Purdue Pharma Bankruptcy Failed the Victims of the American Overdose Crisis.

Ryan served as co-chair of the official unsecured creditor's committee (UCC) that acted as a watchdog during the Purdue bankruptcy process. He was one of only four victims appointed to the committee, among representatives of big insurance companies, hospitals, and pharmacies.

He entered the case believing that exposing the Sacklers and mobilizing against Purdue would be enough to right the scales of justice. Unfortunately, he quickly learned that might not be reality.

Unsettled is the inside story of Purdue's excruciating Chapter 11 bankruptcy proceedings, the company's eventual restructuring, and the Sackler family's evasion of any true accountability.

It's a do-not-miss episode that will give you insight into the Purdue bankruptcy trial not found anywhere else. Listen on Facebook or wherever you get your podcasts 🎧

03/12/2021

So much hope and encouragement in this week's episode 🎧

If you've ever wondered if recovery from addiction is a real thing, you absolutely must hear Jeremy Melloul's incredible story of regaining his life and giving back.

You'll hear how a young man from an ambitious immigrant family found the relief of alcohol at age 11 before traveling a long and painful journey of addiction, eventually living off of Twizzlers, peanut butter cups, and he**in. But the story doesn’t even come close to ending there.

Today, he's a social entrepreneur who founded a clothing company, MOLT, and podcast, MOLT Afflictions, that gives back to those struggling with addiction. It's a story that will give you hope, insight, and encouragement that even when all looks lost, people do get well. They can also go on to heal damaged family relationships and live incredible, full lives.

Listen in as Jeremy shares:

why it was important that he create more than a brand with MOLT Clothing
the connection between vulnerability and Jeremy's long term recovery
the importance of a morning routine that Jeremy follows to ground his day
the moment at 11 years old when he felt the impact of alcohol and what it did for him
how OD'ing in a car wasn't his rock bottom and his 2 white light moments
the distinction between being sober/dry and being in recovery
the lifesaving community he found after a mental breakdown
the influence of his parent's culture on his journey through substance use
what does Jeremy think his parents might have done differently to impact his drug use
what Jeremy would tell his 13-yer old self
why subscribing to the disease model of addiction keeps Jeremy sober

It's a real, raw, and enlightening conversation you do not want to miss.

25/11/2021

18/11/2021

Holidays and special occasions can go from being magical, fun times with family to days we approach with apprehension and even dread when complicated family dynamics are at play.

These feelings couldn't be more present than for parents who have kids struggling with substance use and addiction or who are currently away from home in a treatment program. And for moms and dads whose kids are newly sober - or trying to be - the strain and anticipation of all that might go wrong are next-level.

In this episode with therapeutic coach and consultant Lisa Pepper Satkin, we explore why holidays and special occasions can be so stressful and share ways to prepare better and approach them to keep our emotions and expectations in check.

It's one you'll want to listen to before Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, Mother's Day, Father's Day, or any day that brings tension to your home and body. You'll walk away with tools to help if you're trying to decide how to "do" holidays right now, learn ways to prepare instead of being blindsided, and hear how your mindset can make all the difference.

18/11/2021

18/11/2021

Get the latest episode, a coaching session with a mom navigating the changes and challenges of having her 19-year old son home after residential treatment.