Ponderings Across the Pond

24/06/2022

3 months and we are officially married! I’m so incredibly excited to marry my cute Brit - Christelle

02/02/2022

I think I must have been 7 or 8 years old when I got the lead role in the Primary school play, I was to take the part of the shop keeper. There was no selection process, other that my primary schoo…

24/01/2022

Heres a short poem and reflection on growth I wrote after watering my spring bulbs, do enjoy!

14/01/2022

James is going LIVE in a few minutes here, on his public page:

09/01/2022

It's madness
to hate all roses
because you got scratched with one thorn,

to give up all dreams
because one of them didn't come true,

to give up all attempts
because one of them failed.

It's folly to condemn all your friends
because one has betrayed you,

to no longer believe in love
just because someone was unfaithful
or didn't love you back,

to throw away all your chances to be happy
because something went wrong.

There will always be another opportunity,
another friend,
another love,
a new strength.

For every end,
there is always a new beginning.....

“And now here is my secret,
a very simple secret:
It is only with the heart
that one can see rightly;
what is essential is invisible to the eye."
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry - The Little Prince, 1943.

07/01/2022

We've been thinking about the Soul recently in the books we've been reading and we put some of our questions and explorations into a short poem, a gift for you

05/01/2022

Someone asked, what did you need to hear as a child?

My answer:

I believe in you. I believe in your dreams. I believe in who you are.

What did you need to hear as a child? Have you written it down? Processed it through? Do you believe it now?

❤️
This is a glorious lesson in healing and love. Loving ourself. Maybe what we needed to hear is something someone else needs to hear now. I love this about love.

05/01/2022

We were reflecting on 'The Soul' and put together this short poem https://appropriateacting.wordpress.com/2022/01/05/the-soul/
What are your soul thoughts?

Christelle and I shared a few thoughts on ‘The Soul’ and wrote them down here: When you contemplate the soul, what comes to your mind? What do you feel? What explodes out of you?

04/01/2022

The first book James has read this year has been The Choice, by Edith Eger, Christelles recommendation...

I discovered 'The Choice' by Edith Eger, and started reading it on my long distance travel over the last few days. Its such a raw, powerful read, and I'm reflecting it on a number of levels, I thought id share these words of hers, at the beginning of 2022

04/12/2021

The World is a better place, when we are too

23/11/2021

our voice is our great power. but so many of us go through most of our lives without stepping into our voice. cause somewhere along our journey we were silenced. told that we were wrong. not smart enough. ill-informed. that we lacked value. our voice was so shamed that silence became our home. and although we may no longer be around the people who feared our voice.....we still do. cause we don’t know any other place we remain quiet cause we haven’t given ourselves permission to burst open and let the world hear our song. but the world needs to hear our stories. so let’s hear them. let’s say them and sing them and write them and share them. let’s lift each other up and house our voices in strength ✨🙉🌞🌸🍂⚡️🌈🌱

(page 9 from ‘milk and honey’)

22/11/2021

“Maybe its time to realise the damage of our old toolkit, thank it for what it brit, made and kept safe, but a new us requires new tools. Theres pain in throwing out the old equipment that served us well, but maybe its time for something new. What of your behaviours feels like the plough? And maybe thats the one to talk about, to be vulnerable about, to seek professional help about, maybe its time to put the nutrients into the soil and grow from goodness and depth.

100th Post!”

I grew up with a small understanding of tools. My Dad was, and still is, a very practical man, the shed and garage was full of saw, drills, spanners, screwdrivers, bits of wood, metal, nails, screw…

21/11/2021

'Courage isnt the absence of fear, Courage is fear walking'. We were both listening to this and found so many fascinating aspects to emotions and culture, do have a watch https://youtu.be/NDQ1Mi5I4rg

Psychologist Susan David shares how the way we deal with our emotions shapes everything that matters: our actions, careers, relationships, health and happine...

21/11/2021

On Parise of the men who are trying to keep it together men, The staying strong for others men, The ones about to break men, The ones whose needs come second, third or fourth, The men who dont lash…

21/11/2021

Happy Friday! What is your favorite poem from Devotions? http://ow.ly/DIME50C0RAq

19/11/2021

12/11/2021

“I was probably avoiding Brene Brown…because I kind of knew that I would like her, and like what she was saying, about shame, vulnerability and relationships.”
James Ballantyne

Ive got to admit I didn’t really want to like Brene Brown. Her name had been banded around for quite a few years, usually by the phenomenal women that I know…and on the ever shared many…

07/11/2021

“You show me a woman who can sit with a man with real vulnerability – ill show you a woman who has done incredible work

You show me a man who can sit with a woman who has got to the end of her tether and his first response isn’t ‘I unloaded the dishwasher’ but he really listens – because thats what we need – then ill show you a guy whose done a lot of work”

James reflected on this piece from Brene Brown and opened up a bit about what he’s learning about shame and vulnerability in his latest blog post:

‘When we (Men) reach out and be vulnerable, we get the s**t beat out of us… and dont tell me from the guys…but from the women in our lives So I started interviewing men and.. You …

29/10/2021

Christelle’s newest post: her miscarriage story

“One in six women who lose a baby in early pregnancy experiences long-term symptoms of post traumatic stress, a UK study suggests. Women need more sensitive and specific care after a miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy researchers say.” Philippa Roxby, Health Reporter, BBC News My 15 year old so

20/10/2021

❤️

From Tara Shannon

09/09/2021

❤️

Make sure you're happy in real life.

06/09/2021

Christelle writes about her struggle to receive love here. Can you relate?

Let’s talk about love for a bit. Shall we? By now you know it’s perhaps my favorite topic. Love. This tiny, 4 letter word. Love. In elementary school, I sang two solos about love in church. One song went like this: “Love is, a very special thing, a smile a tear, a soft summer breeze, it has

06/09/2021

02/09/2021

31/08/2021

Don't ask survivors why they stayed.

The reality is that "leaving" isn't as simple as walking out. The reality is terrifying. More terrifying than the walking on eggshells and praying "please don't let them touch my babies".

Average rent cost for anything suitable for 3 children: $1500. Add another $1500 for a security deposit, $300 in up-front fees to initiate basic utilities. Add bare bones bedroom furniture for the children. The likelihood of being able to take anything when you run is slim, and the kids need beds, blankets, sheets and pillows. Total cost of a basic second hand bedroom setup $150. For each child. You now need $3750.

You will need some j***y pots and pans, dishes, towels. You can sleep on the floor, but you'll need a blanket:

Add $200.

You need to eat. Your children need to eat. Absolute basics: Add $200.

You need over four thousand dollars to sleep in a bare apartment.

Look around. there's no table or chairs. There's nothing on the walls. Your bed is the floor. You have no shampoo. Not that it matters. you don't have a shower curtain anyway. Now. Go back to the beginning. How are you going to get a job and squirrel away $4k without your abuser noticing?

They’re right, you know. money has been tight, life has been stressful and you haven't been yourself lately. No wonder they had such a short fuse. You just added to the pressure they’re under and maybe they said some hurtful things, but they're just words. It's not like they hit you, right? No, they didn't have their hand on your throat. You’re remembering it wrong. Okay, maybe their thumb might have been been putting pressure on your neck, but they really meant to have their hand on your shoulder, and only because you were talking crazy and they were trying to calm you down.
They only had their hand there to calm you down. of course they did.

How could you think they'd hurt you, anyway? Look at everything they do for you. They put up with so much from you, you know. Maybe you need to see a therapist, but don't worry. They love you so much, they'll support you while the professionals figure out what's wrong with you......
This is why people stay.

*****

Art by Antony Micallef

31/08/2021

One of my all-time favorites...(Deb)